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EARLY
PEOSE AND POETICAL TRACTS.
L
ILLUSTRATIVE OF
:nE DRAMA AND LITERATURE OF THE REIGN
OF QUEEN ELIZABETH.
IN TWO VOLUMES
VOL. L
KICH'S " FAREWELL TO l^IILITAUY PROFESSION.
NASH'S " PIERCE PENNYLESS."
ARMIN'S " NEST OF NINNIES."
PRINTED FOR THE SHAKESPEARE SOCIETY,
AND TO BR HAD OP
W. SKEFFINGTON, AGENT TO THE SOCIETY, 192, PICCADILLY.
1853.
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r
Co.-o. <t
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EARLY PItOSE AND POETICAL TRACTS.
VOL. L
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V-
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EIGHT NOVELS
EMPLOYED BY
ENGLISH DRAMATIC POETS
OF THE REIOM OF
QUEEN ELIZABETH.
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED BY BAENABY EICHE
IN THE YEAR 1581,
AND REPRINTED FROM A COPY OP THAT DATE IN THE
BODLEIAN UBBARY.
LONDON:
PRINTED FOR THE SHAKESPEARE SOCIETY.
1846.
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F. SHOBBRL, JOiaOS,
SI, mupxKT sTaxsT,
PRIITTBR
Utioce aitctt,
OATMARKXT, LONDOM.
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C U N" (D I L
OF
THE SHAKESPEARE SOCIETY.
THE MOST NOBLE THE MARQUESS OF GONTNGHAM, K.P.
THE EARL OP POWIS, K.G.
THE EARL OF GLENGALL.
THE EARL HOWE.
THE EARL OF iELLESMERE.
THE RT. HON. LORD BRAYBROOKE.
THE RT. HON. LORD LEIGH.
THOMAS AMYOT, ESQ., F.RJ3., TREAS. S.A.
WILLIAM AYRTON, ESQ., F.R.S., F.S.A.
BAYLE BERNARD, ESQ.
J. PAYNE COLLIER, ESQ., F.S.A., DIRECTOR.
BOLTON CORNEY, ESQ.
PETER CUNNINGHAM, ESQ., TREASURER.
THE REV. ALEXANDER DYCE.
SIR HENRY ELLIS, E.H., F.R.S., F.S.A.
JOHN FORSTER, ESQ.
HENRY HALLAM, ESQ., F.R.S., V.P.S.A.
J. O. HALLIWELL, ESQ., F.R.S., F.S.A.
THE REV. WILLUM HARNESS.
WILLIAM C. MACREADY, ESQ.
THE REV. H. H. MILMAN.
THE REV, JOHN MITFORD.
T. J. PETTIGREW, ESQ., F.R.S. F.S.A.
J. R. PLANCH^, ESQ., F.S.A.
MR. SERJEANT TALPOURD, D.C.L.
WILLIAM J. THOMS, ESQ., F.S.A.
F. GUEST TOMLINS, ESQ., SECRETARY.
THOMAS WRIGHT, ESQ., F.S.A.
ivil31906 ^^^--'Googi^
The Council of the Shakespeare Society desire it to be understood
that they are not answerable for any opinions or observations that
may appear in the Society's publications ; the Editors of the several
works being alone responsible for the same.
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PttEFACE.
It will not be disputed that the present volume con-
tains a very amusing assemblage of early novels, inde-
pendently of their claims from intimate connection with
Shakespeare and other old dramatists. The author,
Bai^aby Riche, in the " Conclusion " of his work, in-
forms us that some of the stories had, even then, been
applied to the purposes of the stage, and we shall pre-
sently more fully advert to this interesting point.
How far any of them are original it is not very easy
to decide. In his address " to the Readers in general,"
Rich states that of the eight " histories" five were " but
forged only for delight," while the other three were
written in Italian, by an author whom he designates^
by the initials L. B. Hence we might infer that the
five had been " forged only for delight " by himself,
if we did not know that some of them were founded
upon foreign authorities. One of the five, in a manner
claimed by Riche, which stands second in his volume,
(and, in our view, of peculiar importance, because it
was employed by Shakespeare in his " Twelfth Night ")
is unquestionably, in all its main features, the same as
in Bandello, who could not be the Italian writer pointed
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VI PREFACE.
out by Riche as L. B., because his Christian name was
Matteo. The novel occurs in the second part of Ban-
dello's collection, where it bears the following argumen-
tative title: Nicuola, innamorata di Lattantio, vd a
sermrlo vestita da paggio ; e, dopo molti casi^ seco si
tnarita : e do che ad ufi stiofratello awenne. It is also
transplanted into Belleforest's French Collection, where
it is thus introduced : Comme uneJiUe Romainej se ves-
tant en page^ servist long temps un sien amy sans estre
cogneuey et depuis Peust a mart/; avec autres diver's
discours.
It seems more likely that Riche resorted to Ban-
dello, but it is possible that this novel was one of
those which had been dramatised before Riche wrote ;
and if this were the case, it would establish the new
and important fact, that a play on the same story as
" Twelfth Night " had been produced before 1581,
Two Italian comedies upon very similar incidents, one
called Inganni and the other Jngannati, were certainly
then in existence, and may have formed the ground-
work of a drama^ anterior to Shakespeare, in our own
language. The names given by Riche to the various
personages are not those which occur in Bandello,
Belleforest, or the Italian comedies ; neither are they
the same as any used by Shakespeare. Riche perhaps
obtained them from the old English drama, the story
of which he may have reduced to a narrative form, for
the amusement of readers who were not in the habit of
visiting theatres.
However, there can be little doubt that Riche's story-
book, like Painter's " Palace of Pleasure," printed still
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PRBFACE. VU
earlier, was known to Shakespeare, who without scruple
availed himself of the literature of his time, whenever he
could employ it to advantage for the purposes of the
stage. On the very first page of Riche's " Farewell to
Military Profession '* we meet with a proof of it, for
who can read the following without being instantly and
forcibly reminded of a very notorious passage in the
earliest scene of Shakespeare's " Richard III/* : — " I see
now," says Riche, ** it is less painful to follow a fiddle
in a gentlewoman's chamber, than to march after a drum
in the field," &c. Other resemblances, not necessary
here to be pointed out, will strike the reader as he pro-
ceeds; and on p. 113 of our reprint he will meet with
a remarkable expression, applied in the same way as by
our great dramatist in his ** Romeo and Juliet."
" Twelfth Night" was acted very early in 1 602, having
probably been written in 1600 or 1601 ; and, as far as
he derived assistance from Riche's novel, Shakespeare
must have resorted to thft edition we here reprint, that
of 1581, which has only lately been brought to light in
the Bodleian Library. There was a subsequent impres-
sion in 1 606 ; and if Malone's conjecture, that *^ Twelfth
Night" was composed in 1607, had not recently been
entirely disproved,^ that edition would have answered
Shakespeare's purpose. The tale, containing some prin-
cipal situations in " Twelfth Night," was given in Ma-
lone's Shakspeare by Boswell, 8vo., 18S1, from the copy
of Riche's "Farewell," in 1606^ and more recently in
vol. ii. of a work entitled " Shakespeare's Library ;"
but in neither instance was it complete, the whole of
' See Collier*s Shakespeare, iii., 317.
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VUl PREFACE.
the introductory matter having been omitted — a cir-
camstance to be regretted, becanse it contains an illns-
tration of a passage in " Midsummer Night's Dream,"
but not to be wondered at, inasmuch as the perfect
copy of Riche's " Farewell," in 1581, had not then been
brought to light.
It appears that there is an imperfect copy of the date
of 1581 in the library of C. K. Sharpe, Esq., of Edin-
burgh; and from it, in 1835, was given the last novel it
contains, called " Philotus and Emelia," as an appendix
to the old Scottish comedy of " Philotus," 1603, when
it was reprinted by Mr. J. Whitefoord Mackenzie, for
the Bannatyne Club. This is a second drama, which
may have been founded upon part of the contents of the
work under consideration ; but whether Riche alluded
to it as one of the pieces actually on the stage when he
published his " Farewell," may, we think, be more than
doubted. It seems to us questionable whether the
Scottish "Philotus" was eve» acted, or was intended
by the author, whoever he might be, for representation ;
and, at all events, we are of opinion that when Riche
spoke of the subjects of some of his novels, as having
been already adapted to the purposes of public amuse-
ment at a theatre, he referred to performances in Lon-
don, where the Scottish " Philotus " could never have
been exhibited. In his able preface Mr. Mackenzie
mentions that " the plot, and indeed the entire story of
Philotus, are borrowed from Riche ;" but it seems to
us that the play is older than the novel : however, it is
needless to enter more fully into the question, because
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PREFACE. IX
the old copy of " Philotus" in 1608, collated with a
subsequent edition in 1612, may be said to have been
rendered accessible, to such as wish to read it, by the
very careful and beautiful fac-simile made of it in
Edinburgh. Our notion is that the Scottish " Philotus,"
though not printed until 1608, may at an early date
have been derived by its author from some authority, to
which, perhaps, Biche also resorted.
The incidents in the first novel of the ensuing series
are very much the same as those of the play, ^^ The
Weakest goeth to the Wall," which was twice printed,
first in 1600, and secondly in 1618, the title-page pro-
fessing that it had been " sundry times played by the
right honourable Earl of Oxenford, Lord Great Cham-
berlain of England, his servants." If for " Lord Great
Chamberlain of England ^* we could read, " Lord High
Chamberlain of her Majesty," this was the company to
which Shakespeare belonged, and which, subsequently
to the accession of James I., changed its style, by pa-
tent, to that of the King's Servants, or Players. " The
Weakest goeth to the Wall" would then have had the
advantage of being represented by the same actors as
had been engaged in performing the works of our great
dramatist. Not one of the names of the characters is
the same as in Riche's novel, the scene of action is
entirely changed, and an attempt is made to give the
piece a historical appearance, by the introduction
of the King of France and various members of his
court. In the very first scene the King is represented
as about to embark on a pilgrimage to the Holy Land
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X PREFACE.
and reproaching some of bis peers for interposing
delay : —
How long shftll I entreatP how long, my lords,
Will 70a detain our holy pilgrimaged
Are not our vows already registered
Upon the unvalued Sepulchre of Christ P
The last line affords an instance of the precise mode
in which Shakespeare uses the word " unyalued " for
invaluable in *^ Richard III. ;" and some portions of the
play would hardly be unworthy of his pen. The novel
of " Sappho, Duke of Mantona/' may also have been
one of those which Riche tells us existed in a drama-
tised form when he wrote in 1581, and that older play
may have served for the foundation of " The Weakest
goeth to the Wall:" as it appeared in print in 1600, it
may have been a revival of the more ancient drama,
with additions and alterations, such as were constantly
made by our early playwrights, in order to give new
attractiveness to productions they found in possession
of the company for which they wrote. Of this practice
we need give no proofs at this time of day, and after the
illustration the point has received of late years ; and the
course taken, in the instance before us, was possibly
this : — ^when Riche composed his novel, there was a play
upon the subject in the course of representation, and
that play, not long before it appeared in print in 1600,
under the title of "The Weakest goeth to the Wall,"
had received some modernizations and improvements
which on revival increased its popularity. The names
of the characters may, or may not, have been continued
from the older drama, and it seems more likely that
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PREFACE. XI
Riche changed them in his narratiye, which was made
up from the drama, in order to afford to his work a
greater appearance of novelty.
As " The Weakest goeth to the Wall" is now before
ns, and as it is intimately connected with the ensuing
reprint, we may subjoin a few specimens from parts that
more especially illustrate Riche's story of " Sappho,
Duke of Mantona/' The following is from a scene in
which Emmanuel, Duke of Brabant, having discovered
the clandestine love of the noble foundling Ferdinando
for his daughter, accuses him of it.
EmnumueL Sirrah, come hither. Didst thou never hear
How first I found thee, being but a child,
Hid in the sedge > by a river side,
As it should seem, of purpose to be lost.
Being so young, that thou hadst not the sense
To tell thy name, or of what place thou wast?
Ferdinando* I have heard your lordship often so report it.
Emm. Did thy adulterous parents cast thee off,
As it should seem, ashamed of thy birth,
And have I made a nursery of my court
To foster thee, and, grown to what thou art.
Enrich thee with my favours every where.
That, from the lothsome mud from whence thou camest,
Thou art so bold, out of thy buzzard's nest,
To gaze upon the sun of her perfections?
Is there no beauty that can please thine eye.
But the divine and splendent excellence
Of my beloved, dear Odniia ?
How dar*6t thou but with trembling and with feahe
Looke up toward the heaven of her high grace.
And even astonished with the admiration.
Let fall the gawdy plumes of thy proud heart?
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XII PREFACE.
Dare any wretch so vile, and so obecure,
Attempt the honour of so great a princess ?
Fer. Hear me, my lord !
Odillia, Nay, hear me, princely father !
'^ For what you speak to him concerns me most.
Never did he attempt to wrong mine honour.
Nor did his tongue e*er utter yet one accent,
But what a virgin*s ear might safely hear.
I never saw him exercise himself.
In any place where I myself was present.
But with such graceful modest bashfulness
As well beseemed both his youth and duty, &c
They contrive for the time to persuade Emmanuel
that he is mistaken in his suspicions, but in the end the
pair make their escape, as narrated in Riche's novel.
Another point of close resemblance occurs where the
father of Ferdinando (who is called Lodowick in the
play and Sappho in the novel), in his extreme poverty,
undertakes to become sexton of a country church : the
author of the drama has not thought proper to vary
from this somewhat degrading incident, which perhaps
was fixed so fast in the popular recollection, that he
could not venture to make any change. He intro-
duces a parish priest, called Sir Nicholas, and the fol-
lowing is a small part of the dialogue between him and
the hero. Sir Nicholas says.
Nor do I know any that lacks a servant.
But this ; the sexton of our church is dead.
And we do lack an honest painful man.
Can make a grave and keep our clock in frame.
And now and then to toll a passing bell.
If thou art willing so to be employed,
I can befriend thee.
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PREFACE. XIU
Lodowick Oh ! with all my heart.
And think me treble happy by the office.
SirNic, Thy wages is not great, not much above
Two crowns a quarter, but thy yails will help, &c.
This occupation is rather unheroical, and many wonld
have been better pleased that a disguised duke should
have spumed the base employment, and preferred starva-
tion: when Lodowick is afterwards discovered, it re-
minds one a good deal of the scene in Sheridan's mock
tragedy, and of the exclamation ** Am I a beefeater
now?" We may here notice, that a good deal of
absurd comic business is forced into " The Weakest
goeth to the Wall " in the person of Baraaby Bunch,
a botcher, who however is now and then amusing,
and gives some curious hints illustrative of ancient
manners : among other things he introduces a shred of
a parody upon the celebrated ballad of John Dory : —
John Dory bought hun an ambling nag,
To Paris for to ride-a.
And happy are they can seeke and find.
For they* are gone to hide-a.
Such matter as this is used to lighten the serious
business of the piece, and from the latter portion we
will make another quotation. Lodowick, being re-
stored to rank and power by his victorious sword, Em-
manuel, Duke of Brabant, makes a charge, before him
and old Epernoune, against Ferdinando for having
stolen his daughter Odillia: the second line of what
follows contains one of Shakespeare's words.
JSpemoune, Oh ! wherefore stain you virtue and renown
With such foul terms of ignomy and shame ?
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XIY PREFACE.
Swuuumei. Virtne, my lords! jon gild a rottai stick :
Yoa spread Mr honoar^s gannent on tbe ground,
And dignify a loChsome swine with peari.
This shadow of a seeming gentleman,
This gloss of piety, deoeiyes your sight :
He*s nothing so, nor so» bat one, my lords,
Whom I have fostered in eoort of alms,
And to reqnite my carefiil indolgenoe
Hath, Jadas-like, betrayed his master's life.
And stolen mine only daoghter, to allay
The sensual fire of his enkindled lust;
For which let me haye jnstioe and the law.
Lodowick, You shall haye jnstioe, though I cannot think
80 fiur a shape hath had so foul a foige.
Eper. Alack the day, nusfortone should so soon
Disturb oar friendship was so well began !
Come hither, Ferdinand, and tell me tru&,
If thoa be guilty as &e duke informs ?
Ferdinando. I not deny, my lord, but I am married
Unto OdiUia, though unworthy far
Of such a gracious blessing : yet her lore
Was forward in the choice as well as mine.
Emnu See, how he goes about to choake the fact
With loye and marriage I No, adulterous swain.
Your hedge-betrothing coyenant shall not serye.
Where is your sweet companion, where is she ? &c
Of course the whole matter is settled, when it is
discovered before the end of the play (which is not
divided into acts and scenes) that Ferdinando is no
other than son to Lodowick : this disclosure does not,
however, occur until the interest and suspense are
wound up by the introduction of the headsman, who
is to execute Ferdinando on the spot, as the law then
stood, for stealing the daughter of a sovereign prince.
The T)lay ends with the announcement of the return of
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PREFACE. XV
the King of France from his pilgrimage to Jerusalem,
bat he has not been heard of during the whole progress
of die plot. As a whole^ ^' The Weakest goeth to the
Wall" deserves reprinting, and, although anonymous,
we hope it will not, at the proper time, escape the
attention of the Shakespeare Society.
We have little more to say of the ensuing sheets but
to warn the reader against the misprints of the original
edition : some of these we have corrected, because they
were obvious, while others we have allowed to remain,
because it may, possibly, be a question whether they do
not contain the true reading : in such cases we have not
allowed ourselves to take any liberty with the text. On
page 95 we have two instances of the former kind, where
in line 20 it is evident from the rhyme that thrall is the
right word, and not ^' thrast,*' as it is absurdly given in
the copy of 1581 : in the same way, in line 29, cJiarge
most be right, and not ^' change," as it is misprinted in
the old edition. On the other hand, on page 113,
line 17, we have permitted " stormes and shapes" to
stand, because it is doubtful whether the author might
not write it, instead of ^^ formes and shapes,*' which
seems more to accord with the sense. Other instances
it is hardly necessary to particularize.
If Riche translated all these novels, as he professes
to have done some of them, ke here and there took
some remarkable licenses; in proof it may only be
necessary to point out the mention of " Scogan's man '*
(alluding to the famous English jester of the reign of
Henry VIII.), and of the custom of introducing the
devil into plays in England, both of which occur on
b
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XVI PREFACE.
page SI 8: although that may, perhaps, be considered
the most original part of the volume, it is indisputable
that the story there told is only a modification of
Machiavelli's " Belphegor." The introductory matter
to the whole is highly amusing and curious, not merely
where Biche gives an account of the chief dances
then popular among all classes, but where he speaks
individually, and by name, of his patron Sir Christopher
Hatton, and of his style of housekeeping at Holdenby
in Northamptonshire. These peculiarities give the vo-
lume an unusual degree of interest.
Those who wish for a personal account of Bamaby
Riche, and a notice of his writings, may be referred to
Mr. P. Cunningham's full and satisfactory Introduction
to the reprint of our author's " Honesty of this Age"
for the Percy Society in 1844: we can add nothing
to it.
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Riche his Farewell
to Militarie profession : con-
teining verie pleasaunt discourses
fit for a peaceable tyme.
Gathered together for the onely delight of
the courteous Gentlewomen bothe
of England and Irelande,
For whose onely pleasure thei were collected together.
And unto whom thei are directed and dedicated
by Bamabe Biche, Gentleman.
Malui me divitem esse qua vocari.
Imprinted at London, by
Bobart Walley.
1681.
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•• •. ••• •
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To the right conrteons (rentlewomefl, bothe of Englande
and Irelande, Barnabe Riche wisheth all thynges
thei should have appertainyng to their
honour, estimation, and all other
their honest delightes.
Crentlewomen, — I am sure there are many (but especially of
Boche as beste knowe me) that wil not a little wonder to see
SQche alteration in me, that havyng spent my yonger daies in
the warres emongest men, and vowed my self onely unto
Mara, should now, in my riper yeares, desire to live in peace
emongst women, and to consecrate my self wholy unto Venus.
Bat yet the wiser sorte can verie well consider, that the older
we waze the riper our witte, and the longer we live, the better
we can conceive of thynges appertainyng to our owne profites,
though harebrained youth overhaled me for a tyme, that I
knewe not bale from blisse. Yet wisdome now hath warned
me, that I weU knowe cheese from chalke : I see now it is
lesse painfiill to follows a fiddle in a gentlewoman^s chamber,
then to marche after a drumme in the feeld ; and more sounde
sleapyng under a silken canapie, cloase by a freend, then under
a bashe in the open feelde, within a mile of our foe : and
nothyng so daungerous to be wounded with the luryng looke
of our beloved mistres, as with the crewell shotte of our hate-
fidl enemie; the one possest with a pitifiill harte, to helpe
where she hath hurte ; the other with a deadly hate, to kill
where thei might save.
Experience now hath taught me, that to bee of Mars his
crewe, there is nothyng but paine, travaill, tormoill, disquiet,
b2
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4 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
colde, hunger, thriste, penurie, badde lodging, worse fi&re,
unquiet slepe, with a ntraber of other calamities that haps I
knowe not how. And when a souldier hath thus served in
many a bloudie broile, a flappe with a foxe taile shall bee his
beste reward, for I see no better recompence that any of theim
can gette. Now contrary to bee of Venus bande, there is
pleasure, sporte, joye, solace, mirthe, peace, quiet reste, daintie
fare, with a thousande other delites, suche as I cannot re-
hearse ; and a man, havyng served but a reasonable tyme, maie
sometymes take a taste at his mistres lippes for his better
recompence.
But now (gentlewomen) as I have vowed myself to bee at
your dispositions, so I knowe not how to frame myself to your
contentations, when I consider with how many commendable
qualities he ought to bee endued, that should be welcomed
into your blessed companies. I finde in my self no one manor
of exercise, that might give me the least hope to win your good
likinges. As firste for dauncyng, although I like the mea-
sures verie well, yet 1 could never treade them aright, nor to
use measure in any thyng that I went aboute, although I
desired to performe all thynges by line and by leavell, what so
ever I tooke in hande. Our galliardes are so curious, that
thei are not for my daunsyng, for thei are so full of trickes
and toumes, that he whiche hath no more but the plaine sin-
quepace, is no better accoumpted of then a verie bongler ; and
for my part thei might assone teache me to make a capri-
comus, as a capre in the right kinde that it should bee.
For a jeigge my heeles are too heavie : and these braules
are so busie, that I love not to beate my braines about thAn.
A rounde is too giddie a daunce for my diet ; for let the
dauncers runne about with as muche speede as thei maie, yet
are thei never a whit the nier to the ende of their course,
unlesse with often touming thei hap to catch a fall : and so
thei ende the daunce with shame, that was begonne but in
sporte.
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These hornepipes I have hated from my verie youth ;
and I knowe there are many other that love them as
well as I.
Thus you maie perceive that there is no daance but either I
like not of theim, or thei like not of me, so that I can daunce
neither. There resteth then, if I could plaie of any instru*
mente, or that I had any s%ht in songe, whereby I might
delight your daintie eares (gentlewomen) by sweete plaiyng, or
fiunyng some pretie dities ; but to the firste my fingers
would never be brought in frame ; for the seconde, my mouthe
is so unpleasaunty either to syng or to faigne, as would rather
breede your loathyng then your liking.
^^7? J^% ^ I could discourse pleasauntly, to drive away
the tyme with amourous devises, or that my conceipte would
serve me, either to propone pretie questions, or to give readie
aunsweres, with a number of other delightes, too long to be
rehearsed, there were some comfort that I might bee alowed
of emongst you. But my capacitie is so grosse, my wittes
be so blunt, and all my other senses are so dulle, that I am
sure you would soner condemns me for a dunce, then con-
firme me for a disciple, fit to whisper at all in a gentle-
woman''s eare.
But yet, I truste (gentlewomen) when you shall perceive
the zeale that I beare to my newe profession, although you
will not presently admit me to the pulpit, yet you will not
denaie me to be one of your parishe ; where, if it please you
but to place me in the bodie of the churche, you shall finde
my devotion as muche as he that kneles next the chauncell
doore.
And here (gentlewomen) the better to manifest the farther
regarde of my duetie, I have presented you with a fewe rough
heawen histories ; yet, I dare undertake, so warely polished,
that there is nothing let slipp that might breede ofience to
your modest myndes.
/
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6 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
I have made bolde to publish theim under your sareoun-
dites, and I trust it shall nothyng at all offende you. My
last request is, that at your pleasures you shall peruse theim^
and with your favours you will defende them } whiche if I
male perceive, not to bee misliked of emongest you, my en-
couragement will bee suche, that I trust, within a verie shorte
space, you shall see me growe from a yong punie to a suf-
ficient scholar.
And thus (gentlewomen) wishyng to you all
what your selves doe beste like of,
I humbly take my leave.
Yours in the waie of honestie,
Barnabe Biche.
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TO MILITARIK PROFJeSSlON*.
To the noble SouldierB, bothe of Englande and Irelande,
Barnabe Riche wisheth as to hjmself.
There is an old provefbe (noble souldiours), and thus it
foloweth : " It is better to be happie then wise 5^ but what it
is to bee happie how should I discipher, who never in my life
could yet attaine to any happe at all that was good, and yet
I have had souldiours lucke and speede as well as the reste of
my profession. And with wisedome T will not meddle— I
never came where it grewe; but this I dare boldly affirme
(and the experience of the present tyme doeth make daiely
proofe), that wit standes by in a thredbare coate, where folly
fiometyme sittes in a velvet goune ; and how often is it seen
that vice shall be advaunced, where vertue is little or naught
at all regarded : small deserte shall highly bee preferred, where
well doyng shall goe unrewarded, and flatterie shall be wel-
comed for a guest of greate accompt, where plaine Tom tell
troth shall be thrust out of doores by the shoulders : and to
speake a plaine truthe in deede, doe ye not see pipers, pary-
sites, fidlers, dauncers, plaiers, jesters, and suche others, better
esteemed and made of, and greater benevolence used towarde
them, then to any others that indevour themselves to the
moste commendable qualities.
Then, seeyng the abuse of this present age is suche, that
follies are better esteemed then matters of greater waight, I
have stept on to the stage amongst the reste, contented to
plaie a part, and have gathered together this small volume of
histories, all treatyng (sir reverence of you) of love.
I remember that in my last booke, intituled '^ The AUarum
to Englande,^ I promised to take in hande some other thyng.
K
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8 RICHB HIS FAREWELL
but believe me it was not this that I ment ; for I pretended
then to have followed on, and where I ended with the decaie
of marciall discipline, so I ment to have begun againe with
the disciplines of warre, and with all to have set forthe the
orders of sondrie battailles, and the manor of skirmiges, with
many plattes of fortification ; but especially those of the Lowe
Countries, as Delfte, Delftes Haven, Boterdame, Leiden, the
Breylle, bothe the hedde and the toune, Gorcoum, Gouldfluce,
Maaselandefluoe, the Crympe, with diverse others worthie the
perusyng, for suehe as have not seen them ^ but I see the
tyme serves not for any suche thyng to be accoumpted of, and
therefore to fitte the tyme the better, I have putte forthe
V these lovyng histories, the whiche I did write in Irelande at
a vacant tyme, before the comyng over of James Fitz Morice :
wd it pleased me the better to doe it, onely to keep myself
from idelnesse, and yet thei saie it were better to be idle then
ill occupied. But I truste I shall please gentlewomen, and
that is all the gaine that I looke for ; and herein I doe but
followe the course of the worlde, for many, now adaies, goe
^boute, by as great devise as male bee, how thei might become
women theimselves. How many gentlemen shall you see at
this present daie, that I dare undertake, in the wearying of
their apparell, in the settyng of their ruffes, and the freselyng
of their heire, are more new fwgeled and foolishe, then any
curtisan of Venice.
And I beseeche you (gentlemen) give me leave to tell you
a tale, that comes even now in my mynde : the matter is not
worthe the hearyng, but yet very straunge unto me at the
first,
i/ It was my fortune, at my last beyng at London, to walke
through the Strande towardes Westminster, where I mett one
came ridyng towardes me on a footclothe nagge, apparailed
in a Frenche ruffe, a Frenche cloake, a Frenche hose, and in
his hande a greate &nne of feathers, bearying them up (verie
womanly) against the side of his face. And for that I had
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neTer seen any man weare them before that daie, I beganne to
thmke it impossible that there might a manne bee founde so
foolishe as to make hjm self a scome to the worlde, to weare
fio womanish a toye ; but rather thought it had been some
ahamelesse woman, that had disguised herself like a manne in
our hose, and our cloakes ; for our dublettes, gounes, cappes,
and hattes, thei had got long agoe.
But by this tyme he was come some thyng nire me, and I
might see he had a bearde, whereby I was assured that he
ishould haye been a manne, whereat I beganne to muse with
myself, whether his simplicitie were more to be pitied, or his
foUie more to be laughed at ; for in myne opinion, it is as
fonde a sight to see a manne with suche a bable in his hande,
as to see a woman ride through the streate with a launoe
in hers.
And as he passed by me, I sawe three foUowyng that were
Jiis menne, and taking the hindermoste by the arme, I asked
hym what gentlewoman his maister was i but the fellowe, not
ynderstandyng my meanyng, told me his master''^ name, and
Bo departed.
I beganne then to muse with myself, to what ende that
fanne of feathers served, for it could not bee to defende the
Bunne from the bumying of his beautie, for it was in the
beginnyng of Februarie, when the heate of the sunne maie
bee yerie well indured.
Now if it were to defende the winde, or the coldnesse of the
aire, my thinke a Frenche hoode had been a great deale better,
for that had been both gentlewoman like, and beying close
pinde doune aboute his eares, would haye kepte his hedde a
greate deale warmer ; and then, a Frenche hoode on his hedde,
a Frenche ruffe aboute his necke, a Frenche cloake on his
backe, and a paire of Frenche hose on his legges had been
right — ^a la mode de Fraunce : and this had bin somethyng
sutable to his witte.
But I thinke he did it rather to please gentlewomen, and
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10 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
the better to shewe what honor he bttre theim, would weare
one of the greatest Tanities that long to their sexe. And to
this ende (gentlemen) I have tolde yon my tale, that you
might perceive the sandrie meanes we nae, and all to [dease
women. I see it is the pathe that all desire to pace, and
sore I would wishe my ftendes to tread the same trace ; for
what is he that is wise, which desires to be a souldiour!
Mars, his court, is fiill of bale, Venus is fhlle of blisse. And
my good componions and fellowe souldiours, if you will foUowe
myne advise, hue aside your weapons, hang up your armours
by the walles, and leame an other while (for your better ad-
vauncementes) to pipe, to feddle, to syng, to daunce, to lye,
to forge, to flatter, to cary tales, to set ruffe, or to doe any
thyng that your appetites beste serve unto, and that is better
fittyng for the tyme. This is the onely meane that is best,
for a man to biyng himself in credite : otherwise I knowe not
whiche waies a man might bende hymself, either to gett gaine
or good report*
For, first, the militarie profession, by meanes whereof
menne were advaunced to the greatest renowne, is now become
of so slender estimation, that there is no accompt neither
made of it, nor any that shall professe it.
/ To become a courtier, there is as little gaines to be gotten ;
for liberalitie, who was wont to be a principall officer, as well
in the court as 4n the country, by whose meanes wel doyng
could never go unrewarded, is toumed Jacke out to office,
and others appointed to have the custodie of hym, to hold him
short, that he range no more abroad, so that no man can
speake with him; and thei saie the poore gentleman is so
fleest firom tyme to tyme, by those that bee his keepers, that he
hath nothing to give that is good but it falls to their shares.
To become a student in the lawe, there are suche a number
of theim already, that he thinkes it is not possible that one of
theim should honestly thrive by an other ; and some will saie,
that one lawyer, and one goshauke, were enough in one shire.
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TO MIUTABIE PROFESSION. 11
But of my conscience there are more lawyers in some one
shire in Enghmde, with attomeis, solicitours, or as thei are
termed brokers of canses^ or pettie foggers, then there are
goshankes in all Norwaie.
To become a marchaont, traffiqne is so dead by meanes of
thes ibraine broiles, that unlesse a man would be a theefe to
his conntrey, to steale out prohibited wares, there were small
gaines to be gotten.
To become a farmer, landes be so racked at suche a rate,
that a manne should but toyle all the daies of his life to paie
his landjordes rent.
But what occupation, or handy craft, might a man then fol-
lowe to make hymself riche, when every science dependes ^
upon new fangled &ahions ! for he that to daie is accompted
for the finest workman, within one moneth some newe found
feUowe comes out with some newe found fashion, and then he
beares the prise, and the first accoumpted but a bungler ; and
within an other moneth after, the second shall be served with
the same sauce, and thus there is no artificer that can hold
his credite long.
Suche is the miserable condition of this our present tyme,
this is the course of the worlde, but especially here in Eng-
laude, where there is no man thought to be wise but he that
is wealthy ; where no man is thought to speake a truth but
suche as can lie, flatter, and dissemble; where there is no
advise allowed for good, but suche as tendeth more for gaine
then fi>r glorie ; and what pinchyng for a penie, that should
be spent in our countries defence ! How prodigall for a pound
to be spent upon vanities and idle devises ! What small re-
compence to souldiers, that fighte with foes for their countries
quiet ! How liberall to lawyers, that sette frendes at defi-
aonce, and disquiete a whole commonwealthe ! What fiiun-
yng uppon hjm whom fortune doeth advaunce ! What
frounyng on hym whom she hath brought lowe ! What little
eare of the poore, and suche as be in want ! What feastyng
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12 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
of the riche, and suche as be wealthy ! What sumptuouB
houses built by men of meane estate! What little hospi*
talitie kept from high and lowe degree !
And here I can not but speake of the bountie of that noble
gentleman, Sir Ghristofer Hatton, my verie good maister and
upholder, who havyng builded a house in Northamptonshire,
called by the name of Holdenby, whiche house, for the bra-
verie of the buildynges, for the statelinesse of the chambers,
for the riche furniture of the lodginges, for the conveighance of
the offices, and for all other necessaries appertenent to a pallas
of pleasure, is thought by those that have judgement to be
incomparable, and to have no fellowe in Englande that is out
of her Majesties handes : and although this house is not yet
AiUy finished, and is but a newe erection, yet it differeth farre
from the workes that are used now adaies in many places^ — I
meane where the houses are builte with a greate number of
chimneis, and yet the smoke comes forthe but at one onely
tunnell. This house is not built on that maner, for as it hath
sundrie chimneis, so thei cast forthe seyerall smokes; and
suche worthie porte, and daiely hospitalitie kepte, that al-
though the owner hymself useth not to come there once in
twoo yeares, yet I dare undertake there is daiely provision to
be founde convenient to entertaine any noble manne with his
whole traine, that should hap to call in of a sodaine. And
how mai^y gentlemen and straungers that comes but to see the
house, are there daiely welcomed, feasted, and well lodged !
From whence should he come, be he riche, bee he poore, that
should not there be entertained, if it please hym to call in !
To bee short, Holdenby giveth daily relief to suche as bee in
wante for the space of six or seven miles compasse.
Peradventure those that be envious will thinke this tale
nothyng appertinent to the matter that I was in hand with all,
but I trust my ofience is the lesse, considering I have spoken
but a truthe, and doe wishe that every other man were able to
saie as muche for his maister, and so an ende.
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 13
And now where I lefte of I was tellyng what pride, what
coyeteousnesse, what whooredome, what glotonie, what blas-
phemie, what riot, what excesse, what dronkennesse, what
fiwearyng, what briberie, what extortion, what nsurie, what
oppression, what deceipte, what forgerie, what vice in gene-
ral!, is daiely entertained and practized in Englande; and
although it hath pleased God, by wonderfull signes and mira*
cles, to forewame ns of his wrathe, and call us to repentaunce,
yet you see the worlde runneth forewardes, and keepeth his
wonted course, without any remorse of conscience, neither
making signe, nor proffer to amende. But like as we see an
old sore, beyng once over fun, will not be cured with any mo-
derate medicine, but must be eaten with corosives till it comes
to the quicke, and like as wee saie, one poison must bee a
meane to expell an other, so what should wee otherwise
thinke of our selves, but if wee bee growne to suche extrea-
tnitie, as no gentill admonition will serve to redaime us, what
other thyng should we looke for, but a mischief to be the me-
dicine ! God will not suffer that vice shall alwais florishe— -he
will sitrely roote it out at the laste ; and how long hath he
alredy borne with us in our wickednesse ! And what refer-
mation is there had emongst us, unlesse it be to go from evill
to worse ! But if we did duely consider how mercifully he
hath still dealt with us, how favourably he hath preserved us,
and how wonderfully he hath defended us, I thinke we should
not be (altogether) so unthankefiill as we shewe our selves to
bee. For who knoweth not what an eye sore this little ile of
Englande hath been to the whole worlde, and how long have
we lived (as it were) in contempt of suche countries as be our
nexte neighbours, who still enveighyng our quiet and happie
government, have practized, by as many devises as thei could,
to bring us into their owne predicament, had it not been the
onely providence of God that preserved us ! or what freend-
ship might we yet hope to finde at any of their hands, if their
oportunitie would serve them to be revenged of the dispite,
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which long agoe thei had conceived against na ! First, the
Frenche hath ever been our enemies by nature ; the ScotteB
by custome ; the Spanyardes for religion ; the Duche, although
we have stoode them in greate steade, and holpe them at
many a pinche, yet I could buye as much freendshipp as thei
doe all owe us for a barrell of Englishe beere. If we should
goe any further, then wee come to the Pope, the Turke, and
the deyill, and what frendship thei beare us, I thinke every
one can imagine.
And here we might consider how wonderfully God hath
wrought on our behalfes, and with all humblenesse of harte
give hym daiely thankeis for his benefites bestowed upon us,
but moste of all, and especially, for our moste gracious and
soveraigne ladie Queene Elizabeth, who from tyme to tyme he
hath so mightily preserved to be the verie instrumente of his
mercie and lovyng kindnesse towardes us, and for whose sake
(no doubt) he hath forborne us in his displeasure, as many
tymes he did the children of Israeli, at the request of his
servaunt Moyses.
First, how was she assaulted in her sister^s tyme by those
ravenyng wolves that daiely sought her death ; for thei all
stoode in doubt, that she should bee that Judith which should
cut of proude Holofemes his hedde. And it pleased God to
bryng it even so to passe, not onely defendyng her from
their crueltie and rage, but raised her up (in deede) to the
utter subversion of those bloudie butchers, and to the greate
comfort of us all that were in bondage, and subject to
tyrannic.
Not onely setting us free from those detestable enormities,
that so corosived our consciences, but made open waie and
passage for the worde of God freely to be published (I thinke)
to our owne destruction, that so unworthely receive it. Uppon
this, how many mightie enemies protested against her, and
what harme have any of them been able to doe her ; and how
many treasons and privie conspiracies (sith that tyme) hath
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TO MIUTARIE PROFESSION. 15
been practised by our peltyng Papistes against ber ; but God
hath revealed and brought them to light.
Let us therefore praie unto Ood, that he would so lengthen
her daies, that we might still enjoye so gracious a princess
long to goveme and reigne over us ; and that from tyme to
tyme he would so directe her noble counsaill in all their meet-
ynges and consultations, as maie redounde to his glorie, to the
benefite of their country, and to their owne immortall &me.
Let us likewise praie, that God would roote suche covetous
hartes out of Englande, that for the sparyng of a penie for the
present tyme care not to let sUppe suche matter as maie coste
many a ponnde hereafter this. Now, lastly, and as mariners use
to syng at the sea, *^ GK>d save my mate, and me also f^ and
God sende all souldiours that hath honestly served their
country better consideration then of long tyme they have had.
And thus, noble souldiours and gentlemen all, I have heeld
you with a long sermon, neither can I tell how my preachyng
will bee allowed of. I crave no more, but wishe you all better
fortune then I knowe the present tyme will afforde you, and
ao will rest at your disposition.
Barnabe Bichb.
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16 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
^
» V To the Readers in geneialL
I assure %hee (gentle reader) when I first tooke in hande to
write these discourses, I meante nothyng lesse then to put
theim in print, but wrote theim at the request of some of my
dearest firendes, sometymes for their disporte, to serve their
private use; and now againe, by greate importunitie, I am
forsed to sonde them al to the printer. The histories (alto*
gether) are eight in number, whereof the first, the seconde,
the fift, the seventh and eight, are tales that are but forged
bnely for delight, neither credible to be beleved, nor hurtful!
to be perused. The third, the fourth, and the sixt, are Italian
histories, written likewise for pleasure by Maister L. B.
And here, gentill reader, I must instauntly intreate thee, that
if thou findest any wordes or tearmes semyng more undecent
then, peradventure, thou wilte like o^ thinke that I have set
them doune as more apropriate to expreese the matter thei
intreate of, then either for want of judgement or good manors.
Trustyng that as I have written them in jest, so thou wilt
read them but to make thy self merie, I wishe thei might as
well please thee in the reading, as thei displease me in puttyng
them forthe.
I bid thee hartely fiirewell.
Barnabe Bighe.
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TO MILITABIE PROFESSION. 17
W. I., Gentleman, in praise of the Aactor.
Who seekea by ladle Fame to reape renoune,
Must aske consent of worthie vertue'^B grace :
To her belonges the staulement of the croune.
She yeeldes all those their just deserved place,
As tred her path and ranne her royall race :
Snche riche rewardes to eache she yeeldes eache where.
As might become this worthie Biche to weare.
The painfull man that tilles his grounde reapes frute ;
Eache merrit hath his meede, paine hath his hire :
Deserte requires that fame should not stande mute,
Where wisedome doeth to vertues waies aspire.
The hope of gaine doeth set men'*s hartes on fire :
Then yeeld hym thankes, that erst hath undertooke
For thy delight to penne this little booke.
Let Momus mates chat on in their dispight.
Let wranglers wreake and wrest the worst thei maie :
The wisest sorte will judge and take delight,
Though janglyng jayes, that knowe not what thei saie.
Will oftentymes their witlesse wittes bewraie :
Yet Riche shall reape what he by right hath wonne,
Deserved praise for that whiche here is doen.
Finis q^ W. I., Gent.
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18 ItlCHB HIS FAREWELL
Baptiste Starre in praise of the Austhor.
If due deserte should reape rewarde,
Or worthie merrit guerdon have,
Why should not Biche presse forth hjm sel^
The lovely laurell croune to crave :
Whose life in fielde that wonne hym praise.
He leades at home in Pallas praise.
Skome not then, Zoyius, his good happe,
That can his will subdue and tame,
But trie to treade his path, whereby
Thou maiest thy life with vertue frame :
Alowe his paine and penne to wright.
Who naught pretendes but thy delight.
Loe ! he who wanted was in fielde.
To meete his Airious foe in &ce,
Hath scalde Parnassus hill, where he,
Attends Minerv' her noble grace :
And there his penne doth plaie his parte.
As did els where his shielde and darte.
Finis (J. B. S.
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 19
The Printer to the Reader.
The fragrant Rose can make no choyse,
Who shall upon hym light ;
The spraulyng Spider tumes to gaule,
The Bee to honey right.
So &res it with this booke, whose leaves
Are open spred to thee :
Make choise, good Reader, of the best,
Sucke honey with the Bee.
Misconster not eache merrie phraise,
Deeme not the worst of it,
Whiche is not pende to doe thee hurte,
But recreate thy wit.
And for suche faultes as scaped have
The presse, whereof thers store,
Reprove the Printer for his haste,
Blame not the booke therefore. .
But as by mirth His meant to move
Thy minde to some delight.
Reward his paine with praise, whiche did
These pleasaunt stories wright.
FINIS.
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SAPPHO DUKE OF MANTONA.
THE ARGUMENT OF THE FIRSTE HISTORIE.
Sappho Duke ofMantona ham/ng long tyme served Claudius^ th4
Eny>eraur^ by wkaae magnanimitie and marHaU pnyweet sun-
drie victories were achived against the Ttirhe^ teas by false
imposition banished^ hymsdf Messilina his voife^ Awdanius
Us sonne^ mth Phylene his daughter^ in tehiche banishment
thei susteined sundrie conflictes of Fortune^ but in the ende
restored againe to ih^r former estate and dignitte.
The one of the greatest Yertuea, that worldlie men can ex-
preese in the common behaviour of this life, is neither to waxe
pronde by prosperitie, nor to Ml into dispaire by adversitie ;
£)r Fortune, havyng a free will to eome and goe, when and
where she listeth, the wise man ought not to be sorie when he
loseth her, nor to rejoyce when he holdeth her, for that the
Tsdiant man looseth no reputation when that Fortune &ileth
hyro, but is the lesse esteemed of if he want discretion to beare
her mutabilities, the whiche for the most part is altogether un-
eertain 5 now promisyng good, now performyng ill ; now Uftyng
up to the tip of the highest dignitie, now throwing doune to
the pit of perpetuall infamie ; now advauncing aloft those that
be unworthie, now throwing doune the climmers up into ex-
treame adversitie : suche are the giftes and graces of Fortune,
to have no better thing more certaine in them, then to be for
the moste parte in all thynges uncertaine ; as the sequell of this
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22 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
historic shall more better describe, and followeth in this
manor.
There was sometymes remainyng in the conrte of the
Emperor Glawdius, a noble dake, whose name was Sappho
Duke of Mantona, who, as well through his owne magnani-
mitie and valiaunce, as otherwise through his greate policie
and experience in marciall affaires, had atchived many notable
victories in the behalfe of the Emprour againste the Turke,
whiche made hym bothe famous to the worlde and feared of his
enemies, but moste entirely beloved of the Emperour Claudius :
but the warres beyng once finished and broughte to an ende,
so thai the empire remained in tranquilitie and peace, souldiors
were forgotten, captaines were not cared for; suche as had
profered them selves to fight for the saftie of their countrey,
were now shaken of, and suche were preferred in their romes
as had any &cultie in them tendyng to {Measure and delight,
as dauncers, pipers, fidlers, minstriles, singers, parasites, flat-
terers, jesters, rimers, tale bearers, newes cariers, love makers,
suche as can devise to please women with newe fangles, straunge
fassions, by pndsyng of their beauties, when sometymes it is
scarce worthie, by commendyng of their manifolde vertues,
when, God knowes, they have fewe, or none at all. But see, I
praie you, how ferre my wittes beginne to square: I pre-
tended but to penne certaine pleasaunt discourses for the
onely pleasure of gentilwomen, and even at the very first entrie
I am Mne from a reasonable tale to a railyng rage, as it may
seeme. But I praie you, gentilwomen, beare with my weake*
nesse ; and as the preacher in the pulpit, when he is out of bis
texte, will saie for excuse. Good people, though this bee some-
thyng degressyng from my matter, yet it maie very well serve
at this present. Take this, I praie you, for my excuse in like
ease.
And now to my purpose, where I left of before. This noble
Duke Sappho had no skill in courting trade : his head, which
had been accustomed to beare the loftie Ixelme, had now quite
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forgotten to weare the wayeiyng plumee, rea<£e to blowe awate
with every wmde ; his bodie, moste inenred to weare a coate
of Steele, could not be brought in ftshion with this queint and
nice ande ; his necke he thought more fitly to paise the trustie
targe, then to bee hanged with gemmes, or chaines of golde ;
his fingers, commonlie practised to graspe the sworde or launce,
eould not bee brought in &ame to strike the yirginaU or lute ;
his voice serred hym better to cheare his souldiors in the feeld,
then either to fayne or syng ditties in a ladies chamber ; his
tongue had more used to speake simplie and plaine, then to
dissemble with his freend, or to flatter with his foe ; his legges
had better skill to marohe after dubbe a dubbe a dubbe, then
to mince it with a minion, tracyng a pavion, or galliarde uppon
the rushes. What should I saie, fiither ? this noble duke had
no maner of skill in carpet trade. But thus it fell out, that
parasites and flatterers, havyng^ once entered credite with the
Emperour, (as surely it is almoste a common infirmitie, aswell
emongest princes as other superiour officers, to bee seduced by
flatterers, pickthankes, and talebearers) this noble Emperour,
likewise, by the instigation of suche as were aboute hym, who
peroeiyyng the Duke to bee none of their flattryng fratemitie,
and enveighyng the greate reputation wherein the Emperour
helde hym, had so incensed the Emperour againste hym, that
now his likyng was converted into loathyng, and his greate
love toumed to a more hate, that in the ende the poore Duke
was brought to answere unto many forged articles surmised
against hym, who, neither in consideration of his former service
dooen for his oountrey, neither in reepecte of the innocencie of
his cause, could otherwise bee dispensed withall then to be
banished into exile, hym self, Messilina his wife, Aurelianua
his soonne, with Phylene his daughter; and although the
^mmon sorte of people helde hym in greate honour, and
muche lamented his case, yet it could not bee holpen, but the
Emperour'^s decree, openly pronounced, must needes take place.
I beseche you, gentilwomen, yet to comfort yourselves : I
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24 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
knowe your gentill hartes can not endure to heare ef siiche
ungentill partes ; but these are but the frumpes of ordinarie
Fortune, not private to Duke Sappho alone, but common
to all menne that bee of the like profession : for what happened
better to the moste noble captaines of the worlde, or what other
recompence received either Csesar, Scipio, Haniball, or many-
other like, who, havyng honoured their countries with sondrie
triumphes and many notable victories, when the warres were
ended, and that there was no more neede of theim, finished
their daies in such pitifuU plight, as I will keepe to myself;,
because, right courteous gentilwomen, I rather desire to drawe
you into delightes, then to droune you in dumphes, by re-
vealyng of suche unnaturall factes as I knowe your gentle
natures is not able to digest.
Thus you have heard how this noble Duke, with his wife
and children, by sentence from the Emperoure were banished
from out their native countrey, as also from any other realmes,
cities, tounes, or territories, beyng within the Emperour^s do-
minions. There resteth now for the Duke t-o make suche poore
provision for his furnishing as his habilitie might any waie»
serve hym, the whiche, God knoweth, fell out so meane and
skante, as it scarcely serveth hym to defraie his charges, to
carrie hym from out those places from whence he was pro-
hibited : and takyng his course towardes the partes of Mace-
donia, after a long and wearie journey, he arrived at a toune
called Tariffa, where beyng lodged in a meane and simple house,
his money now beyng at the laste caste, wherewith to beare his
charges, his poore wife and children altogether wearied with
their long and troublesome travaill, and hym self all ashamed
to bee knowne what he was. Now, it fell out that the hoste of
the house, many tymes vewyng and castyng his eyes upon the
Duchesse of Messilina, who, notwithstanding she dissembled
her estate and degree, contented to leave her honourable dig-
nitie, and to perticipate suche equall fortune with her housebande
and children as their hard happes had conducted them unto,
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jet her beautie (whiohe could not bee blemished with meane
and homely garments) had so entangled her arrant hoste, that he
could not be merrie when he was out of her sweete sight : and
now, though he perceived his ghest beganne to waxe slacke in
his paiement, and not able to disburse for his ordinarie ex-
pences, yet, for the love he bare to his wife, he was contented
to chalke up the charges behinde the doore, hopyng in the ende
to have cleared the scores to his better content, and as tyme
and convenience might serve him. He spared not to let the
Duchess understande his greate likyng towardes her, assuryng
her that the courtesie that he used towardes her housebande
was onely for her sake, and that if he were assured his good
will might bee acceptable in her sight, she might assure her
self of suche a freend of hym, as would be as careftiU of her as
her housebande to whom she was married.
This ladie now havyng well pondered the woordes of her
amourous hoste, who would not thinke but that she was muche
perplexed in her mynde, that she, who had been borne of
honourable parentage, espoused to a noble duke, whose dignitie
in tymes paste surmounted all the rest, whose trainyng up had
ever been emongst those of the highest degree, and now that
her honourable estate was not onely eclipsed by crooked des-
tinie, but also to have her chastitie assailed by suche a simple
coisterell, whom she durste not so sharpely shake of, as her
harte would very well have served, for that she knewe the
Duke her housebande was runne in his debt ; neither could
she tell by what meanes he was able to discharge it : she was
therefore constrained, with faire speeches, to shift hym of from
time to tyme, the whiche the knave perceivyng very well, be-
ganne to thinke with hym self that it was but her housebandes
presence that hindered hym of his purpose, and therefore de-
termined to finde a present remedie.
And now, commyng to his gheste, beganne to reckon with
hym, and to call hym to accoumpt for the charges wherein he
was behinde, tellyng hym, that at that verie instaunte he had
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26 BICHB HIS FAREWELL
occasion to occupie money, whiche made hym not onely ta
seeke up euche small sommes as were due onto hym, bat abo
to trie his freendes otherwise to serve his toome, and that help-
ing him now at his present neede, he might then begin againe
a newe score, and would beare with him a muche longer time.
The poore Duke then, inforced to seeke out an old salve fer
a new sore, whiohe is to praie when he was not able to paie,
with verie courteous speeches desired his hoste to beare with
his inabiUtie, assuryng him that when time should serve he
would so throughlie recompence hym, as he should have eaose
to holde hym well contented.
But what praiers mate prevaile, where pitie is eleane exiled,
or what gentlenesse is to be looked for, to come from sudie an
ungentle chorle, whose mynde was onely sette upon rape and
ravine, who had premeditated before the drifte whiche (as he
presupposed) was now sorted out as he looked for.
Wherefore, (as it were) halfe in a furie, he uttered forthe
these woordes : My freende, content yoursdif, and take this
for a resolute aunswere : the money whiche now resteth in your
handes, although I might verie ill forbeare it, as my case
Btandeth, yet for that it is not myne ease to runne into any
farther charges, without a better assuraunce then either woorded
or promises, I am, notwithstanding, contented to beare with
you for that whiche is- alreadie paste, mynding from this daia
forwardes to give no further credite : and for that you are alto-
gether a straunger, unto me unknowne, bothe what you are,
from whence you come, whether you will, and where I should
finde you, I purpose, therefore, for my better securitie, and
the rather to come by that you alreadie doe owe me, to keepe
your wife in paune, whom I knowe is so dearely beloved unto
you, that for her sake I shall the .sooner heare from you
againe : otherwise I knowe not where to inquire after you, nor
how to come by that is my due, whiche I am not well able to
forbeare, neither doe I mynde clearely to lose.
The poore afflicted Duke, havyng never falne before into
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cutthrotes handes, perswaded in deede that the tenour of this
varlettes woordes, and the keepyng of his wife tended to no
other ende but for his better assorannce to come by his money,
was constrained to make a vertue of neeessitie, and was so
muche the better pleased, for that his wife might stil remain
free from further travaile, and thinkyng in tyme to setUe hym
self, and to recover his wife and children aboat hym : with this
resolution, he began to relate unto his wife with what saluta*
tions his gentle hoste had greeted hym withall, desiryng her
to comfort her self for a season, assuryng to doe his best in-
devour, and to set up his sailes to the prosperous gales of
Fortune.
This good ladie, hearyng her housbandes discourse, uncer-
taine what to doe, wepte bitterly, as well for greef to loose his
presence, as for that she should bee lefbe in the house of the
arrant knave her hoste ; but like a wise ladie, hearyng the
alleaged reasons of her lorde and housebande, did thinke it not
for the beste to encrease his old sorowe with a newe greef, con-
tented her self utteryng these woordes.
Deare housebande, knowyng all that you have saied to be
verie juste and true, I am contented for a certain tyme to force
my will, in hope that hereafter we maie live together, joying
ourselves in the companie of our children : and this I would
desire you, that so often as you can, by convenience and trustie
messengers, to sende me worde and intelligence of your health
and estate, because the same should bryng greater contentation
unto me then the welftre of myne owne self.
This saied, she, imbracyng' hym verie lovyngly, and he
kissyng her with great sorowe and greefe, tooke his leave, and
badde hia ladie and spouse hartely fiireweU, leavyng with her
Phylene, her deare daughter.
Thus hym self with Aurelianus, his little soonne, departed
from Taryffa, towardes the famous citie of Cayre, and as thei
passed through a wildemesse, havyng loste their waie, wan-
deryng twoo or three dales without any maner of foode, savyng
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28 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
hippes, hawes, and slowes, suche as tbei coald gatber in the
desert, the poore child beyng aver come with fiEuntnesse, not
longer able to travaile, beganne to complaine to his afflicted
&ther, desirjmg hym to sitte donne to reste hymself a tyme :
the wofuU &tber, tormented in his mynde to see his poore
distressed child, satte hym doune under a tree, where, after a
while, recounting to hym self his sonderie misfortunes, beyng
oppressed and wearied with travaile, he fell into a sound sleape.
The childe, after he had a while rested hymself, leavyng his
&ther a sleape, beganne to seeke about for somethyng to slake
his hunger ; and as he was straiyng thus about the woodes, it
fortuned the Duke of Vasconia, havyng loste his companie in
the pursute of a stagge where he had been a hunting, and as
he was crossyng the nexte waie, to goe to the citie of Messyna,
where he helde his courte, havyng in his companie but the
Lorde of Sura, with three or fewer servyng menne, he fortuned
to espie the child runnyng in the bushes all alone ; and callyng
the child unto hym, he saied, Alas, my little boye, what
makest thou in this place ! art thou here alone, or how earnest
thou hether ! I praie thee tell me. Forsothe, god£ither (^
the child) I came hether with my fether, who lyes a sleape
here by, and I was seekyng somethyng to eate ; for, by my
troth, I am so a hongered, that I could eate worse meate then
a peece of a rested pigge, and that with all my harte.
The Duke greately pleasuryng to heare the pretie aunswere
of the childe, replied in this wise : How saiest thou, my little
knave, wilt thou bee my boye, and dwell with me ! and I will
give thee good meate thy beallio foil. How saiest thou ? wilt
thou goe with me !
Yea, forsoothe, godfather (q, the childe) on that condition
you will give me roste meate enough, I will goe with you 5 for
I thinke I did not eate my beallie full of roste meate this
moneth and more.
The Duke then commaunded one of his menne to take up
the child, whom he carried awaie with hym ; and now per-
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 29
c^iTyng it to be bothe well favoaced, quicke witt^, and very
apt to learnyng, he brought it up at schoole, where he proved
not onely wise and learned, but also in many other exercises
convenient and fitte for gentlemen, he commonly excelled every
other man : and thus leavyng hym at schoole, I wiU convert my
tale to his wofull &ther, who, when he was awaked, and missed
his pretie soonne, began to prie aboute in every bushe, sekyng,
and callyng, What, Aurelianus ! Aurelianus ! where bee you,
Aurelianus I But in the ende, when he could no where finde
hym, thinkyng assoredly that he had been devoured by some
wilde beaste, beganne with pitiful! exclamation to crie out : O,
Fortune, Fortune ! more then fickle, who in a moment hoiste
a man up to the highest degree, and by and by, in lesse
space then in the twincklyng of an eye, she throweth hym
doune againe so lowe, as more miserie is prepared for him in
one daie, then she advaunced hym in an hundred yeres, whiche
I now prove, and have experience in myself, and so muche the
more the greater is my greef, who have been nourished deli-
cately emongest my freendes, maintained still in moste pro-
sperous estate, hopyng for the full perfection of my felicities,
by marriyng a noble dame, with whom I pretended to spende
the residue of my life, accordyng to the scope and lotte ap-
pointed by the Almightie God ; but now, beholde, all my enter-
prises bee quite pluckte backe, and my purposes toumed deane
topse-torve, in suche wise, that from honourable estate I am
driven to wander like a vacabonde, driven from poste to piller,
from countrie to countrie, from region to region, to sequestrate
my self from emongest my freendes, without any assured place
where to make my abode. Oh, froward &te ! how canst thou
bee so hard harted, and void of pitie, still to prosecute thy
cruell pursute! first to deprive me of my honourable dig-
nities ; then to banishe me from emongest my lovyng freendes ;
thirdlie, to separate me from Messilina, my well beloved wife,
more deare unto me then the balles of my unhappie eyes ; and
not yet contented, but now to bereve me of my sweete infant,
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30 RIOHB HIS FAREWELL
my onely hope of eomforte in mj olde age ! O, Death ! Death !
the ende of all sorrowes, and the beginner of felicitieB, now
make sharpe thy darte, and give no longer delaye of life ; dis-
patcher diepatche at once the moste infortunate manne that
lives this daie on yearth ; for ivbat availes my life, if in the
galfe of eorow and greef I droande the pleasures of the same!
Bat, ah ! I see right well then preservest the same, of purpose
•but to delight in my greeves, and to triamphe over my adver-
sities. And here withall the brinishe teares so streamed
donne his cheekes, that he was not fiurther able to speake one
woorde, but runnyng up and doune the woodes, eighyng and
sobbyng, in greate anguid^e of mynde, and his bodie muche
infeebled for want of foode and sustenaunce, he fortuned to
meete certaine labouryng menne, that dwelte in a poore village
not farre from the place, who pereeivyng by his geasture that
he was passionated in his thoughtes, thei beganne, with suche
curtesie as thei had learned in the countrie, to demaunde the
occasion of his greef.
But he, knowing verie well how &rre thei were unable to
minister releef to the leaste of his afflictions, could render no
other aunswere then piteous sighes and subbes ; but the poore
pesauntes, when thei had better beheld the talnesse of his sta-
ture, the seemelinesse of his countenaunce, and the comelinesse
of his personage, were greatelie mooved with compassion to-
wardes hym, and with suche badde eloquence as their skill
would permit, beganne to perswade hym to walke with them
to their cabbins, where he might refreshe hymself with suche
homely junckettes as was provided for their owne suppers.
The Duke, contented to yeeld to their requestes, walked along
with them, where he remained all the night, verie pensive and
heavie in his harte, and beganne to thinke with hymself that
there was no more hope left for him to heare of his sonne, and
therefore beganne to imagine how he might render some
releef to his poore wife and daughter, whom he had left as you
before have heard.
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N0W9 there was dwelljng harde by the place, a nobleman
that was lorde of the village, who, havyng intelligenoe of this
distressed straunger, caused hjm to be sente for ; before whom
when the Duke was presented, after many questions debated
betweene them, ihe noble manne demaunded of the Duke what
countrey manne he was, and how he had been trained up, and
then if he could bee contented to plaie the servyngman, and
would bee careftdl and diligent in his roaister'^s affiures, that
then he would bee contented to receiye hym into his service,
and would rewarde hym accordyngly as he was able to deserve.
The Duke, all ashamed to bee knowne what he was, reve-
rently made aunswere that he was borne in the countrey of
Achaia, and that he had been trained up in service with son*
dene noble menne, and would bee very well contented to doe
his beet indevonr to serve him with the beste service he could
doe.
Thus the po<xre Duke became a servyng man, whom we will
leave with his maister, and retume to his wife, who was lefte
in hucsters handelyng, (as you have heard) remained in the
house with this verlette, who soughte by sondrie assaies to
satisfie his villanous luste ; and like an experte souldier, when
lie commeth to beseege a holde, first sendeth his herauldes to
summon the forte, proferyng many large conditions, if thei will
quietly surrender, but if defiaunce be made, then presently he
placeth his batterie, thundeiyng forthe his canon shot against
the waUes, whiche if thei bee so well rampered, that there will
no breache bee made, yet he ceaseth not with giftes and bribes
to corrupte the warders, not caryng how he conquereth, so he
maie have the epoyle.
This vilaine, in likewise, sought first with piteous sighes,
whiche, sanst with sugred woordes, did serve in steede of
haranldes to perswade her to yeeU up the keyes of the for-
treese, that with peaceable enlaie he might take possession at
Ins pleasure $ but beeyng by her repulsed, and the flagge of
defiaunce di8|daied upon the bulworke, then with thunderyng
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32 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
threaies he tfainketh to make his batierie, profeiyng to caste
her into prison for the debt whiche was owyng hym for her
housbande and her self. Other whiles againe he would tempte
her, and trie her with giftes, thinkyng that for the necessitie
she was driven into, she would have made sale of that whiche
she preferred before her owne life.
This noble dame, perceiyyng her self so hardly beset on
every side, fearyng in the ende the verlet should woorke her
some greater despight, so enforced her self, with Phylene her
Uttle daughter, to &11 to worke, that with weavyng and
knittyng of laces, and otherwise with their needles, thei had
gained so muche money as she was able to set her self free
from out a knave'^s debt. And thinkyng with her self that her
housebande had remained about the citie of Gayre, to the
whiche he purposed to journey when he departed from her, she
determined with all convenient speede to repaire thether, as
well to comforte herself with the companie of her lorde and
housebande, as otherwise with her yearnynges to helpe to re-
leve hym : but for that she had understandyng that the pas-
sage by lande was not onely troublesome, but also very incon-
venient for her to travaile, by reason it laie through wooddes
and desertes, she gate inteligence of a small barke that was
bound thether by sea, whiche onely staled but for a winde to
serve her tume. Here upon she discharged her self from the
towne of Taryffa, and when wether served, agreyng with the
maister for her passage, her self with her daughter repaired
aborde the barke, whiche beyng put to sea, was forced, by the
extremitie of a contrary winde, to put themselves romer for the
safetie of their lives, to a cleane contrary place. And where
thei ment to have sailed to the citie of Gayre, thei were now
arived at the citie of Gherona, where the ladie commyng a
shore, she joyed nothyng so muche in the narrowe escape she
had made with life, by reason of the tempest, as she sorrowed
for beyng so farre driven from her housbande, whose fellowship
she more desired then either wealthe or worldly treasure. But
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 33
for asmuche as both herself and her daughter were very evill at
ease, and greatly infeebeled with sicknesse at the sea, and bad
lying in the shippe, she determined to make her abode still at
Cherona, till she might convaie letters to Taryffa, that should
certifie her housbande of all that had happened.
In the meane tyme, her housbande havyng received some
small benevolence of his lorde and maister, who had conceived
some good likyng of hym, by reason of the skill that he had
in the ridyng of horse, very desirouse to render his wife some
portion of his good fortunes, who had bin so long tyme par-
taker of his evill happes, cravyng leave of his lorde for a tyme,
came to Taryffa, where, when he missed his wife, whose letters
were not yet come from Cherona, and therefore could get no
inteligence, but that she was gone to Cay re of purpose to seeke
hym, in a greate perplexitie he travelled towardes Cayre,
where, makyng greate inquirie, could leame nothyng of her :
from thence he posted from place to place, from citie to citie,
from towne to towne, but beyng never the neare his purpose,
he then began to double his dolours, and with bitter wordes to
curse the celestiall signes and planets, which raigned at the daie
of his nativitie and howre of his birthe, contented to yeeld
hym self a captive to mishappe, and to surrender hym self a
subjecte to Fortune^s froward frumpes. Beyng thus turmoyled
with greate anguishe of mynde, wanderyng to and fro, he was
brought so low and bare, that he was readie to begge an almes
from doore to doore ; and commyng to a poore countrey vil-
lage, his penurie was suche, that he was glad to become a ser-
vaunt to hym that was the sexten of the parishe ; whom he
had not served long, but the old sexten his maister died, and
for that he had now learned to ryng belles, and had some cun-
nyng in the keepyng of a clocke, the parishioners were con-
tented to place hym in his maister's rome. The Duke, thinkyng
liymself more then thrise happie to gett so greate preferment,
thanked ladie Fortune, that had so freendly dealt with hym,
resolvyng hymself to continue the office while he lived ; but
D
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84 BICHE HIS PARBWEtL
Fortaiie,.findyng hym bo thankfull for a little, dealte more
freendly with hym, as after you shall heare.
But I will firste declare how it happened with his somie
Aurelianus, who was taken up in the woodes by the Duke of
Vasconya, as before you have heard.
But here I muste firste remember you, that the Duke
chaunged his name from Aurelianus to Silvanus, whiche name
he gave hym of purpose, for that he was found in the woodes.
Silvanus now, havyng been trained up at schoole, was come
to mannes estate ; and besides that he had the knowledge of
good letters, he was comely in his personage, and of verie good
proportion, and in all manor of activities appertainyng to a
gentilman, he exceeded every other that was in the courte : be-
sides in his demeanours he was so courteous and gentill, that
he gained the good will and likyng bothe of one and other, but
especially of the Duke hymself, who alowed hym suche large
expenses, whereby to maintaine hym self as brave as the
beste.
Now, this noble Duke havyng no other children but one
onely daughter, whose name was Valerya, in whom it seemed
that bothe vertue and beautie had held some greate centention
who should beare awaie the prise ; for although that in beautie
and good grace she exceeded every other dame, yet her vertuea
and good conditions surmounted more her beautie, then the
finest golde surmounteth leade or drosse.
The ladie now havyng heard greate reporte of the noblenesse
of Silvanus, who was suspected to bee but some poore mannes
soonne, by reason he was founds in the woodes, beganne yet to
beare hym very good countenaunoe, whiche at the first pro-
ceeded but of the noble nature, whiche ever was accustomed to
bee &vourable to suche in whom was fi)unde any worthie de«>
sarte : but, as the fishe whiche by little and little sucketh upon
the baite, till at the length she swalloweth doune the hooke,
whereby she hangeth fikste, not able to firee her self, so thia
Ladie Valerya, contemplating herself many tymes to beholde
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 85
that jong gentleman, Silyanos, was so farre intangeled with
hifl Bweete and pleasannt eountenaonce, that now, perforce her
will, she was eonstrained to yeelde to love ; and feelyng her
self insnared, and bereved of former freedome, beyng bj her
self alone, she began to complaine as followeth :
Alas ! (saieth she) is it possible that now force perfdrce my
mynde should bee so altered, that, straiyng from the boundes
and fimites of vowed chastitie, I should now become amourous,
and subject to a certaine unacquainted luste t From whence
eommeth this alteration ! or how happeneth this unaccustomed
hewe ! Ah, Lore, Love ! how haste thou tormented me, and
taken awaie the healthe and soundnesse of my mynde ! It be-
hoTeth me to shewe myself as issued forthe of the noble house
of y asconya ; and with the greater care I ought to take heede
how I degenerate from the noble blood whereof I am descended,
rather then to sette my mynde on a foundlyng unknowen, unto
whom, peradventure, if I discover my fondnesse, will not let to
mocke me for my labour, and for all the beautie or noblenesse
of my birthe, will make me his jestyng stocke, and solace hym
self with the fondnesse of my conceiptes. But staie, stale, nn*
happie tongue, that thundereth forthe suche hatefiill woordes
against my beloved Silvanus. Oh, thrise accursed wenche,
that can so ungently conceive against hym, that in 9II his
demeanours doeth shewe hym self as noble as the beste ! but
of what metall are either monarche, kyng, or keiser, framed of,
otherwise then of naturall and common yearth, wherof other
menne doe come ! or what maketh these differences, whiche
by sottish opinion we conceive, either of gentle or ungentle,
otherwise then the shewe of vertue and good conditions ! Then,
the partie whom I love is both vertuous, valiant, sage of good
grace, learned, and wise. Vaunte thee, then, Valeria, that
thou likest no inferiour fondlyng, unworthie of thy love, but a
worthie gentilman, indued with noble qualities, in whom bothe
heaven and nature have forgotten nothyug to make hym
equall to them that marche in formoste ranke. It is Silvanus
d2
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36 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
whom I love, and of him I pretende to make a lawfiiU hou9-
bande, for otherwise I detest to leade the filthie life of lawlesse
luste ; but thus, the bonde of manage beeing made, I male love
and live without offence of conscience ; neither shall I doe any
blotte or blemishe to the greatnesse of my house. But if any
be so scrupulous as to thinke by marryins; of hym I should
deminishe myne honour, it is the thing that I doe leaste
esteeme ; for what is honour worthe, where the mynde is voide
of contentation ! and where the harte is bereved of his cheefest
desire, the bodie remaineth restlesse, and the mynde is never
in quiet. Silvanus, therefore, shalbe my loyall housbande,
moanyng thereby neither to offende God nor man.
And now from hence forwardes she devised with her self
how to make her love knowne to Silvanus, not sparyng, when
she was out of his presence, before all men to praise his greate
perfections wherewith he was enriched 5 and in his owne pre-
sence she used suche lovyng countenaunce towardes hym, that
although Silvanus were but yong, and had never been trained
up in the schoole of love, yet he perceived verie well that those
frendly glances were lent hym of good likyng, and those lovyng
countenances were grounded of good will : and albeit he sawe
the inequalitie and difference betweene them both, she beeyng
sorted out of royall race, and hym self altogether ignorant of
his owne estate and from whence he was sprong, yet beyng
now ledde by love, whose lawes have no respecte either to
estate or dignitie, he determined to foUowe his fortune and to
serve her, whiche so lovyngly shewed her self to requite hym
with the like. And the more he called to mynde the divine
beautie of his ladie, her graces, wisedome, behaviour, and cur-
tesie, so muche the more increased his desire, fortifying him
self against all mishappes and perilles that might succede, and
began to debate with hym self in this manner.
How is it possible that I should be so foolishe to despise a
dutie so rare and preciouse, and to set light by that whiche the
noblest would pursue with all reverence and indevour ! I am
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 37
not the first that hath obtained the love of a ladie : no, no, I
see she loveth me, and shall not I requite it by yeeldyng love
againe! if I were so yoide of humanitie and good nature,
besides I might woorke myne owne overthrowe, in seerayng to
dispise so noble a ladie, so the goddes would not let to minister
revenge as thei did upon Narcissus. But ah, silly wretche
that I am ! what folly is this that I have now premeditated
with the' perill of myne honour, and the hazarde of my life ?
see, see, how ferre my affectious begin to straie, through the
hot assaultes of foolishe fantasie, inraged with an appetite
risyng on vaine hope ! what madnesse on me to thinke that
Valerya will so muche forget the greatnesse of her house, or
yet imbase her self in respect of me, poore silly soule ! but
what if she! would be contented, either in respecte of manage,
or otherwise in respecte of good will, to surrender herself to
satisfie ray request, I, muche were I the neare my purpose !
alas ! nothyng at all : the first, I kuowe, should be denaide me
by the Duke, her father, and as for any other curtesie, although
I knowe it bee farre from her thought, yet surely myne owne
conscience would not suffer me to proffer so greate villanie to
BO noble a ladie, neither the reverence and duetie whiche I owe
to her &ther would permitte me to requite his gentilnesse to-
wardes me with so greate an injurie. Cease, therefore, Sil-
vanus ; subdue thy seiisualitie, that, by vauquishyng thy self,
thou maist set open the gate to fame, who with her trompe of
everlastyng glorie, she maie advaunce thee reo owned to all
posteritie. But, alas ! shall I then give over to love my Ladie
Valerya? reason wUles me so to doe, but love hath so blinded
all my sences, that reason giveth no maner of light : what
helpe have I then hereafter to hope for ! alas ! I knowe no one,
and therefore be content. Herewithall he staied his travaile,
resolvyng with hym self to conquere his affections ; and beeyng
in his chamber takyng pen and ynck, he sate hym doune, and
wrote these verses foUowyng.
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38 EIGHE HIS FAREWELL
No Bhame, I trust, to cease from former iD,
Nor to rerert the leudnesse of the myiide ;
Whiche hath bin tndnde, and so misled by will.
To breake the boimdes, whiche reason had assyngde*
I now forsake the former t jme I spent,
And sorry am, for that I was miswent.
But blynde forecast was he that made me swarve.
Affection fond, was lorer of my lust :
My fimcie fixte, desire did make me serre,
Vaine hope was he that trained all my trust.
Good liking then so daseled had my sight.
And dimnde myne eyes, that reason gave no light.
0, sugred swete, that trainde me to this trap !
I sawe the baite, where hooke laie hidden fiut :
I well perceirde the drift of my mishi^ ;
I knewe the bit woulde breede my bane at last.
But what for this, for sweete I swallowed all.
Whose taste I finde more bitter now then gall.
But loe ! the fiiiitee that grewe by fonde desire.
I seeke to shunne, that pleased best my mynde ;
I sterve for colde, yet &ine would. quenche the fire.
And glad to loose, that feinest I would finde.
In one self thyng I finde both baall and blisse :
But this is straunge, I like no life but this.
When he had thus penned these verses, he committed them
to memorie ; and the next daie, beyng in the companie of cer-
taine gentlemen and gentlewomen in the court, taking a lute,
whereon he could plaie very well, and havyng likewise good
knowledge in his song, and therwithall a very pleasaunt voyce,
be began to sing this dittie before mentioned, in the middest
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 39
whereof came in the yong Ladie Valerya, wherewith Silvanus
Btaied his song : but she, joynyng her self to the companie,
seyn^ the sainct that secretly shrined in her thought, she had
vowed her greatest devotion unto, desired Silvanus at her
request to begin his song againe. Silvanus, makyng the matter
nothyng nyce, was pleased very well to satisfie her request,
and ta^yng the lute began his song, to the whiche the ladie
gave intentive eare from the beginnyng to the ending ; and per*^
ceiving the song to be made in some extreame passion forced
by love, she demaunded of Silvanus, who had penned those
verses? who aunswered, thei were of his owne pennyng, and so
lately doen that he could not forget theim. The ladie then,
thinkyng Silvanus to be in love with some other gentlewoman,
departed very speedily, as though some sodaine motion had
happened to her mynde, and commyng to her chamber, shut-
tyng &8t the doore, she began to saie as followeth.
How muche am I unfortunate above all other women ! that
beyng a ladie of suche bloud as I am, and yet am happened
into so straunge a miserie, that in manor with myne owne
mouth I have made request to him, whiche rather with all
humihtie ought to prefer me his service, and yet am scome-
fully rejected, and an other like to catche the birdes, whilest I
doe but beate the bushe: Oh, Silvanus, Silvanus ! deemest
thou me no better worthe then so lightly to rcrjecte my prof-
fered love ! and shall an other, that is muche lesse worthie,
beare awaie the sweete fruiie of my desired hope, and shall
possesse without deserte the glorie due to a firme and &ithftill
frende! No, no, I can not thinke thee so ingrate, and my
harte foretelleth me that it is impossible my Silvanus should
wander so &rre from equitie, but that he is able to discerns of
colours, and will not requite me with wrong for right. I am
sure not to be deceived in my love — I knowe he loveth me,
but that he dareth not to disclose the same, fearyng I should
refuse hym^ and cast hym of with shame : I will not let, ther-
fbre, with myne owne mouth to bewraie the same unto hyni^
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40 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
and to manifeet my good will, wherby my chast and honest
amitie once knowne onto hym, vertue herself maie knitte the
knotte betweene us, whiehe can not chose but bryng forthe the
froites of troe and perfect fireendship.
And shall I then, beeyng a ladie of soche degree, bee con-
strained to sew, where every other woman of the meanest
reputation bee ordinarily reqoired, and that with the importo-
nate instance of their soters i I shall then be noted of bold-
nesse, and bee thought to straie too &rre from the limites and
boundes of modestie, and to make a greater show of lightnesse,
then is properly looked for in us that be of the feminine gender.
But what strictnesse is this prescribed to our sexe, that we
should bee bereved of our libertie, and so absolutely condemned
of lightnesse in seeking to satisfie our lawfull and honest de-
sires! with what trampe bee wee tempered withall more then
menne, whereby wee should bee able to withstande the forces
of the fleshe, or of power to resiste the concupiscences whiehe
Nature it self hath assigned! Wee bee tearmed to bee the
weaker yesselles, and yet thei would have us more puissaunte
then either Samson or Hercules : if manne and woman bee
made of one mettall, it must needes foUowe by consequence
wee be subject to like infirmitie : from whence commeth, then,
this freedome, that menne maie aske what thei desire of us,
bee it never so leude, and wee mi^e not crave any thing of
them that tendeth to good and honest pretence! It is termed
to bee but a mannes parte that seeketh our dishonour, by leude
and lawlesse luste ; but to a woman it is imputed for light-
nesse to firme her lawfull likyng with pure and loyall love : if
menne will have preheminence to dooe evill, why should wee
bee reproved for doyng well !
Whereuppon stande I then amazed with these fonde opi-
nions ! my love is not unlawAill, neither before God nor man.
I love Silvanus, whom I will take for my housbande, for other-
wise to love hym my harte dooeth not intende : therefore,
without any fiuther respite or delaye, I will make my love
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 41
knowne unto hym, and the bande of manage once confirmed
betweene us, shall cover the &ult whiche meune would dome.
Neither shall my mjnde be altered, either by the sugred per-
swasion of freendes, neither terrified with any threates that
maie bee thundered forthe by parentes blusteryng wrathe. I
am not so farre overwhelmed with pride, that, in respecte for
the greatnesse- of my parentage, I should despise a gentleman
indued more with vertue then with riches. Though there bee
some that bee of this condition, that thei will soner preferre
the greatnesse of birthe then the greatnesse of vertue, the
aboundance of wealthe then the aboundance of witte, the
perfection of beautie then the perfection of the minde ; but I
am out of the nomber of those women whiche care more to
have their housbandes purses well lined with money, whereby
thei maie bee maintained in their braverie, or sometymes fixe
their fancie upon some yong man, that is of goodlie personage,
although voide of vertue, qualitie, and good conditions, that
ought to gamishe a gentleman, and doeth more beautifie and
enriche hym then either the bare shewe of beautie, or any
other giftes of fortune : but I cannot emploie my love uppon
transitorie treasure, when the riches of the mynde is cleaue
taken awaie. No, no ; it shall better content me to see a
meane gentleman beloved and praised of every one for his ver-
tues, then to marie a miser possessed with all the goodes of
the worlde, hated and ill spoken of for his vices. Feare not,
then, Valeria, to foUowe thy determination, and to put in
-proofe what thou hast pretended.
Herewithall staiyng herself, she beganne to practise the
meane, in what manner she might bewraie her love to Silvan us,
seekyng for occasion and tyme meete for her purpose ; and
although there remained in her a certaine naturall shame&st-
nesse, wherwith maidens are commonlie accompanied, which
for a tyme did close her mouthe, and made her to deferre the
tyme of her desolved mynde, yet, in the ende,. throughlie per-
swaded in her intent, she sent one of her maidens, willyng Sil-
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42 RICHK HIS FAREWELL
vanos to come and speake with her aboute certaine affidres thai
she had to imploye hym. The maide havyng finished her
message, there could never more joyful! newes happen to S3*
vanus ; who eutryng the chamber of Valeria with tremblyng
harte, after he had dooen his reverence, with greate feare and
bashefiilnesse, saied. For that I understande your Ladiship
hath to employe me aboute certaine affaires, I shall thinke
my self the moste happiest man in the worlde, if my trayaile
and diligence might any waies dooe you service, bee it that
therein I should offer or sacrifice myne honour or life, cravyng
no greater benefite for the satisfaction of all my contentations
received in this world, then to serve, obeye, and honour you, bo
long as my life doeth laste.
The ladie nowe, all ravished with joye and contentation,
perceivyng by his chaunge of ^colour the fiiult proceaded of ve-
hemente love, takyng hym aside into a windowe. Love had so
closed up her mouthe, that she knewe not how to beginne her
tale ; her mynde was so troubled, her wittes so fkrre out of
course, that her tongue fiiiled to dooe his office in suche wise
that she was not able to speake one onely woorde.
He likewise, perplexed with the like fever, was now astonied
to see the alteration of his ladie.
Thus these two lovers, like twoo sencelesse images, stoode
stilly beholdyng eche other, without any manor of moovyng.
In the ende, the ladie takyng courage in her self, with a trem-
blyng voyce, joyned with a maidenlike shamefastnesse, began
to sale as followeth.
Beyng assured (my Silvanus) of your discretion and wise-
dome, whiche Nature hath not onely indued you withall, but
art hath also accomplished what nature beganne to woorke, I wil
therefore make no doubte at all to lette you knowe the hidden
secretes of my harte ; neither vrill I goe aboute with circum-
staunce to colour my woordes, but beyng well perswaded thai
when you shall bothe heare and savour my speeches, and
therewithall sounde the deaptfa of my devises, yoa will easily
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conjecture that my enterprises be none other then juste, and
that my alledged reasons are grounded of good pretence. I
thinke, sithence your arivall here in the court of the Duke my
fether, you have not scene me in any behaviour otherwise then
vertue doeth pennitte, nor in any my demeanours exceadyng
the boundes of modestie, otherwise then becommeth a maiden
of my callyng, beyng deecended of so worthie a stocke ; but if
this be a faulte, that beyng provoked by the purenesse of my
harte and fidelitie of my good will, who to keepe the same in-
violable doe voluntarilie offer my self to the honest disposition
of your judgemente, as it shall please you to conceive of me,
I have then committed a &ulte in likyng you too well, but 1
trust nothyng at all Q^ded Qod, who knoweth the inno-
cencie of my crime.
Thinke not, Silvanus, that I am the freend of Fortune, and
practise pleasure alone without vertue j for it is modestie that
commaundeth me, and honestie is the guide of my conceiptes,
sweaiyng and protestyng by the Almightie God, that never
manne shall touche Valerya, excepte it bee in mariage ; and
he that otherwise would assaile me, I have a harte that shall
encourage my handes to sacrifice my life. And now, Silvanus,
if you will not thinke me more prodigall of my present then
your fancie will serve you to take in goode parte, beholde, it is
you that I have chosen for my spouse and loyall housbande.
And although I had determined to dissemble that whiche now
I have laied open unto you, yet reposyng myself in your vertue
and honestie, I truste I shall not have cause to repent me for
anythyng that I have either saied or doen.
Silvanus, whiche all this while heaiyng this heavenly har<*
monie, with full assuraunce of that he moste wished for, albeeit
he sawe no possibilitie how to [bring to] passe this desired
mariage, yet determined not to refuse so greate a pref^ment,
beyng so francke and liberally offered, aunswered in this maner.
I knowe not, madame, with what humilitie aod reverence I
might receive and accept this your greate bountie and noble-
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44 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
nesse, so graciouslie offered unto me : I dooe acknowledge my
condition and state too base, and that my love maie bee thought
to presume too ferre beyonde the boundes of order, consideryng
that my ignobilitie and birthe are no meete matches for suche
a peerelesse princes ; yet this I dare boldlie affirme, that if
love and entire affection borne to your ladiship might serve to
countervail! that defect, whiche by place of birth the destinies
have denaied me, I dare undertake I should as well deserve to
bee received, as he that is lineallie descended from the greatest
monarchic of the worlde. The which love, if till this tyme I
have delaied to open, I beseeche you, madame, to impute it to
the greatnesse of your estate, and to thcduetie of my callyng ;
but now, for as muche as by your own motion, grace,. courtesie,
and greate liberalitie, the same is preferred, and that of your
owne bountie, it pleaseth you to accept me for yours, I
humblie beseche you not to dispose of me as of a housebande,
but as of one whiche bothe is and shall bee your servaunt for
ever. Thus saied, he takyng her by the hand, kissed it with
greate devotion, his tongue and wittes were so rapt and tied,
as the ladie perfectly perceived this alteration, and seeyng it to
proceade of love, replied in this manor.
Then, my Silvanus, there nedeth at this present no farther
circumstaunce. But for that I am well assured there are some
that will bee offended with my choice, but especiallie the Duke
my &ther, who will conceive some greate displeasure against
me, there resteth then that this our contracte bee kept verie
secret, until it please God to appoint the tyme that the rest of
our determinations maie without daunger be consummate and
accomplished. In the meane tyme, trusting that your desire
is godlie, and that the freendship you pretende to beare me is
founded upon vertue, and to be concluded by manage, receive
me for your spouse and lawfuU wife : you shall have suche
part in me, as without any regard to the obedience and duetie
that I owe to my parentes, I am yours, beeyng readie and dis-
posed to obeye you, so farre as my honour maie permit me.
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 45
These twoo lovers, now grounding themselves the one in the
others fidelitie, could not so cunnyngly disemble and cloke
their affections, but that it was easily perceived by their secret
glaunces and countenaunces conveighed from the one to the
other (and as wee have a proverbe— it is ill haultyng before a
creeple) so there were many about the court that were so
well studied in the schoole of Love, that thei were able to have
commenced maisters of arte, and could easily conjecture from
whence those rowlyng lookes did proceade ; that beeyng now
assured of that whiche before was but suspected, the brute was
spread aboute the courte of the love that was betweene Sil-
vanus and Valeria, that in the ende it came to the Duke her
&ther^s eare, who takyng the matter verie greevouslie, that his
daughter, to whom the inheritaunce of the dukedome remained
after his decease, should so meanely bestowe her love of a
fondlyng founde in the woodes, and mindyng to fynde a
remedie for the matter, willed Silvanus that, in paine of his
Ufe, within twentie daies he should departe the couil^e, and
never after to bee seen within the jurisdictions of the Duke-
dome of Vasconia.
Valeria now, havyng intelligence what had happened, had
no leasure to vexe or moleste herself, when tyme rather re-
quired a speedie remedie for the incounteryng of those mis-
happs, devised with Silvanus to conveigh herself awaie, con-
tented rather to live in the fellowship of an honest, lovyng
housebande, with whom she should hold faithfull and loyall
companie, with what estate and fortune so ever it might please
God to appoincte, then to live without hym, beautified with the
graces and foolishe names of honour and preheminence.
Silvanus, contented to satisfie her desire with the hazarde
of his life, yeelded to her request, and, before the twentie daies
were expired, so cleanely conveighed hym self and Valeria
awaie, that, when thei were missyng, the Duke wist not which
w^es to sonde after them. Wherefore, in a greate ftirie, he
spared not to sende oute greate companies, whiche, postyng
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46 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
every wide, made enqnirie and eearcbe after them ; bat all in
vaine, for Silvanus had so disgoised hjm self and Valeria,
that without any manor of trouble thei quietly passed the
countrey, and havyng freede theim selves from out the daunger
of the Duke, desyring that the dale of their manage might
now bee prefixed, the whiche by mutuall consent was presently
determined, and by greate fortune (or rather conduction, by
the providence of Gtod) thei happened to arrive in the countrey
village where Duke Sappho, that was father to Silvanus, had
remained all this while sexten of the parishe. In this village,
because it was a place free from resort, whereby thei might
remaine unknowne, and in the better safetie, thei purposed as
well to celebrate their manage as for a tyme to make their
aboade till matters were better quieted, and that thei might at
kisure resolve what course were beste for theim to take. Sil-
vanus, now havyng conferred with the prieste, the manage daie
was appoincted, where the poore belrynger, t«kyng the vewe of
this newe married couple, fell in a greate likyng of Silvanus ;
not for that he knewe hym to be his sonne, for thereof he
could have no maruer of suspition, aswell for that he deemed he
had been devoured in the woodes by some wilde beaste, as also
because his name was diaunged, but whether it were by the
instigation and secresie of nature, or otherwise by the will and
pleasure of G-od, to bryng to passe that whiche afterwardes
happened in effecte, this poore Sexton, I saie, lead by the
secret motion of his owne affections, proffered Silvanus that if
his service might any waies stande hym in steede, (for that he
was a straunger in the place) he should use hym in any
respecte, and should fjmde hjm readie to stande hym in suche
steade, as his poore abilitie might any waies permit.
Silvanus in like case havyng forgotten his &ther, beyng
separated from hym in his in&ncie, yet nothyng despising his
freendly offer, craved his helpe for the hieryng of a chamber
for some reasonable rent, till tyme that he might better pro-
vide for hymself. The Sexten, verie glad that he had so good
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oportuiiitie to pleasure hjm, brought hym with his wyfe to his
owne house, where he lodged hym iu the beste roome that
be had, profferyng not onelj his house but all that was in it
to be at their disposition and pleasure. This newe married
couple, now gladdyng and sportyng themselyes with all suche
Bwete imbracementes, as thei can better describe whiche have
been possessed with the like deUghtes : but as some will saie
it is the mannes parte to be first wearied in those veneriall
sportes, so Silvaaus, hayyng now well feasted hjm self with
that sweete repaste, had leisure to bethjnke hym of his owne
estate, began inwardly to growe into greate sorrowe and heayi*
nesse, not so much for hym self as for his wife, who for hi»
sake had dii^ssest herself from so great honour, abandonyng
herfreendes, contented to yeeld her self a thrall to Fortune.
These cogitations did so nippe hym, that he could not so
well dissemble his greef, but that his wife perceived some dis-
quietnesse in his mynde ; and therefore verie greevouslie she
demaunded of hym to shewe her the cause of his discontent-
ment, whiche by outward appearance seemed inwardlie so
mrache to molest hym.
Silyanns, hearyng his ladies requeste, aunswered in this
wise : My deare wife, the sweetest companion that ever manne
did possesse, for so muche as you so earnestly desire to under*
stande what it is that so muche withdraweth my delightes, I
will not let to bewraie the truthe, whiche is this. When I con-
sider with my self of your present estate and condition, who,
from the tippe and height of dignitie, have not spared for my
sake to surrender your self to become a subject to all mishaps,
besieged on every side with the future assaultes or ordinarie
fortune; it maketh me, therefore, to have the greater care
by what meanes I might endevour myself to maintaine and
eontinue your estate, though not accordyng to your worthinesse
and callyng, yet accordyng to your well contentmente and
likyng. And hereupon conceivyng in my hedde diverse ima-
ginations, no meanes but one in my fancie seemeth beste,
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48 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
whiche is, that I goe to the coarte of the Eroperoor Claudius,
who at tills present is leadyng a greate bande to encounter the
Turke, at whose handes I doubte not but to receive some good
entertainment : and besides the honour and reputation I maie
gaine by good deserte, I maie likewise reape suche livyng and
good likyng of the Emperour, that, in despight of Fortune's
teethe, wee maie live here<after a quiet and honourable life, to
our greate joye and comforte. But when I did consider the
beloved companie of you, deare wife, I feared to bewraie that
whiche now I have disclosed, not knoweyng in what parte you
would take it, that I should so sodainly departe. Loe ! here
the cause of my disquietnesse, whiche you desire so instantly
to knowe.
The ladie, whiche was wise, peroeivyng the greate love that,
ber housebande did beare her, when he had staled hy mself from
talke, with glad and merrie countenaunce aanswered in this
wise.
Ah, Silvanus ! the exampler of all vertue and gentlenesse,
let death and fortune doe what thel list, for 1 coumpt myself
more then satisfied of all that is past, by the onely enjoying of
your presence, contentyng myself to bee a partaker of your
misfortunes ; and I have no doubt but that I can so moderat
my affections, that, duryng my life, I will rest better contented
with that whiche your abilitie wil permit, be it never so meane,
then otherwise to bee honoured with names and titles of no-
bilitle in princely state or porte, having not your presence.
Disquiet not yourself, therefore, but persever in your deter-
mination, and that sorowe whiche shall assalle me by reason
of your absence, I will sweten and lenefie with contentation
to se your commendable desire appeased ; and the pleasaunt
memorie of your vallaunt &ctes shall beguile my pensive
thoughtes, hopyng that our nexte meetyng shall bee more
joyfull and glad, then this our partyng shall be either heavle or
sad.
The ladies aunswere did wonderftilly quiet the mynde of
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Silyanufi ; and callyng his hoste the sexten unto hym, whom he
had made partaker of his determinations, he departed, leavyng
his wife suche money and jewelles as thei had remainyng. And
eommyng to the eourte of the Emperour Claudius he was very
well entertained, and the rather for that the Emperour had
greate neede of menne to supply his armie, whiche had sus-
tained sondrie conflictes, and divers overthrowes ; for the
Tarke did wonderfully incroche upon the Emperour, and had
taken sondrie cities, tonnes, and castelles from hym, and was
like still every daie more to prevaile then other, that now the
Emperour beganne to repent hym of the slender accoumpte he
had made of souldiours in the ty me of peace, for that he had
too fewe that were su£Bcient to serve him in his warres : for in
steede of Experience, Valiaunce, and Policie, (whiche three
ought to be govemours, commaunders, and cheef officers in a
campe) he was glad to preferre Vainglorie, Foolishehardinesse,
and Bashnesse, simple sottes that were more fitter to waite in
gentlewomans'* chambers, then to be made captaines, or leaders
in the warres.
The Emperour now standyng in greate distresse for want of
menne, for those that he had made greatest accompt of in the
tyme of peace were now able to stande him in no steede in the
tyme of warres, and those that had braved it up and doune
the eourte in the newe cuttes, straunge fashions, their haire
friseled, lookyng with suche grisly and terrible countenaunces,
enough to make a wiseman beleeve thei were cleane out of their
wittes, now in the tyme of warres were glad to runne under a
gentlewoman'^s &rthyngall to hide them.
The Emperour (I saie) beeyng thus perplexed, called to his
remembraunce the injurie that he had doen Sappho, whom he
had banished onely to satisfie the willes of those that were
aboute hym, whiche he knewe did hate hym more of spight
then for any occasion the Duke had given. Without any
farther delaie, therefore, the Emperour sent sondrie messengers
into every parte of Christendome, to make inquirie that whoso-
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60 RICHB HIS FAREWELL
ever could finde the Doke, shoald bee worthily recompenoed,
and those proclamations were spread through every region, in
citie, towne, and village. In so muche that in this parishe
where the Duke remained sexten, as yon have heard, the priest
made inquirie on Sondaie in the chnrehe (as the cnstome is)
that where as aboate fourteene or fifteene yeares sithence the
Duke of Mantona was banished by die Emperour, whiche was
procured rather by envie then for any deeerte, as now it was
proved ; who so ever, therefore, could give any intelligence of
the said Duke, should bee verie liberally recompensed by the
Emperour.
The sexten now hearyng these newes, did thinke it more
better to live still in his sexten'^s rome, where he remained
without envie, then to become againe the Duke of Mantona,
subjecte to the spite of hateAill personee ; but callyng to his
mynde his wife and daughter, which he thought remained yet
alive, (although he knewe not where) and for the greate love
that he bare to Silvanus, whose wife remained in his house (as
you heard) seeyng that Fortune olSered hym so good opportu-
nitie to pleasure them, onely for their sakes, resolved hymself
to goe to the Emperour. But firste comfortyng his geste
Valerya, whom for a tyme he should leave in his house onely
with suche servauntes as herself had aboute her, he tolde her
that he was well assured where to finde this Duke, that was so
muche inquired after, and that he doubted not (if it were but
in respecte of his good newes) he should woorke Silvanus, her
housbande, into some credite with the Duke, who might like-
wise procure his better preferment with the Emperour.
And thus the sexten departed, and with all convenience
came to the courte of the Emperour, to whom when he had
made hym self knowne, he was moste honourably received, and
greate joye and gladnesse was made throughout the whole
courte : the Emperour now, in consideration of the injurie
he had doen hym, did not onely restore hym to his former
rome and dignitie, but also advaunced hym in honour and
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eBtimation, to be preferred before all other next nnto hym-
Thus after many benefites received of the Emperour, the
Duke prepared hymsdf, accompanied with many his freendes,
to goe to the Emperonr^s eampe, of the whiche he was made
general], where he knewe well how to behare himself; and
gi^^g out newe ordinaonees, he appointed certaine snche as
he hymself knewe worthie, and gave them charge ; emongest
the reste, seeying Silvanos, who all this while remained in the
earape^ whom the Dnke did very well knowe, although Sil-
vanns did little suspeefce that a poore sexten of a parishe
riionld become a general to an Emperonr^s army. The Duke,
pereeivyng hymself to bee nnknowne to Silvanus, was con-
tented so to remains for a tyme ; but yet desirous to see what
was in hym, he gave hym the leadyng of certaine horsemen,
with the whiche Silvanus served so valiauntly, and there with
all had so happie successe, that every manne extolled up to
the heavens the worthinesse of Silvanus. This pleased the
Dnke paasyng well, and the Duke havyng now sondrie tynies
incountred with the power of the Turkes, and had given them
many overthrowes, he was now preparyng a greate force for
the reooverie of the citie of Cayoe, the whiche the Turkes
had taken before from the Emperour ; and callyng Silvanus
mito hym, he saied, ^* Gk>d graudt, yong gentleman, that your
code agree with your good beginnyngf^ then makyng Sil-
vanus to kneele, he dubbed him knight, and made him colonell
of twentie ensignes.
Silvanus, after he had dooen his reverence, thanked the
Duke of the honour and £ftvour whiche it had pleased hym to
dooe hym, promisyng to dooe so weU in tyme to come, as he
should not bee deceived in his conceived opinion : whereof he
gave assured testimonie at the assaulte that was given to the
dtie before mentioned, where he behaved hym self so valiantly,
as he was the first that mounted upon the walles, and by his
dexteritie and invincible force made waie to the souldiours in
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62 RICHE HIS FAREWBLL-
the breache, whereby thei entered and tooke the citie, killyn^
and driyyng out their enemies before theim. In many suche
like attemptes Silvanus still shewed hymself so noble and ya-
liaunt, that his praise and renowme was sonnded in every place.
The Dake now havyng recovered againe all suche cities,
townes, and other fortes, whiche the Turke had before taken
from the Emperour, and there with all had banished the
Turkes from out the boundes and borders of the empire, and
a league agreed upon betweene the Emperour and the Turke,
the armie beeyng broken up, and souldiours discharged, every
manne well recompensed for his service, accordyng as he had
deserved, Silvanus likewise, who by his worthinesse havyng
not onely made himself &mous to the world, but also had
well lined his purse with good store of golde, bethinkyng hym
now of his faire ladie, came to the Duke to have taken his
leave ; but the Duke, mindyng now to performe the good that
he ment to Silvanus, was resolved in his minde that Silvanus,
with his wife, should bee his gestes, as well at Mantona,
where he was Duke, as thei had been before, where he was but
a sexten, saied to Silvanus as foUoweth.
" Sir knight, what haste is this, that you would so sodainly
withdraw your self from out my companie i Belike you have
some faire wife, to whom you make suche speede to be gone.
But, sir, content yourself to beare me companie to the Em-
perour''s courte, where I doubt not but you shall receive some
better recompence for your service so happely begunne, for it
is not requisite but that the vertue of valiaunce ought to bee
rewarded and cherished by princes that be aided in their ne-
eessitie, with the diligence of suche vertuous and noble gen-
tlemen as your self.^^ Silvanus, greatly comforted with these
wordes of the Duke, was well pleased to waite upon hym.
Thus thei tooke their journey towardes the greate citie of
Chirona, whiche was in the uttermoste borders of the Em-
perour's dominions : there the Duke purposed to staie awhile,
to recreate hymself with the rest of his companie.
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 63
Now, it fortuned that the yaliaunt actes and hautie enter-
prises of Sil^anus were so renowned and spredde, that the same,
therefore, came to the eares of the Duke of Vasconya, that was
&ther to Valerya, the wife of Silvanus, who with all possible
c^ede made suche haste, that he came to Cherona, where he
foande Silvanns in the companie of the Duke of Mantona, to
whom tumyng hymself, he saied as foUoweth.
" Sir Duke, the onely hope that I have, that you will not
let to extende justice upon the mischeevous and ungratious
actes of wicked menne, doth let me at this instant to forbeare,
with myne owne handes, to avenge the wrong that I assure
myself to have received of this traitour, Silvanus.**^
The companie were wonderAilly abashed with these wordes,
but especially the Duke of Mantona, who loved Silvanus more
dearly then any other.
But the other goyng still forwardes in his tale, said : " If the
harte breake that ai&icteth the soule of a wofuU &ther, whose
house is .made desolate by loosyng his child, by the mis-
ehivous inticementes of a theefe — ^if this president, I saie,
move you not to minister suche speedie revenge as the lawe
doetJi prescribe, I suppose that all impuuitie of vite and sinne
hath place on your behalf.'^ And there with al staiying his
talke, but yet by his gesture and countenance so inraged, that
he seemed like a man that were besides hymself.
The Duke of Mantona now perceivyng the matter, that
Valerya was the daughter of the Duke of Vasconya, whom he
supposed to have been of some meane birthe and parentage,
was wonderftilly sorie for Silvanus, whose fiicte by the lawe
deserved death ; and seyng the Duke in suche a furie, he wiste
not by what meanes to worke Silvanus safetie. For to intreate
the Duke he thought it but vaine, and to bryng Silvanus to
aunswere the &cte, he knewe the lawe would condemne him,
and therefore knowyng where Valerya did remaine, whom he
knewe did love Silvanus as her owne life, and thinkyng that
her teares might lenifie and soften the hardened harte of
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54 RICHB HIB FARKWBLL
the Duke her &ther, he therefore prively sent for her, to bee
brought immediatly to the eitie of Gherona. In the meane
tyme he committed Silranos into safe custodie, and desired
the Duke, at his request, to staie hymself a while, and he
should have suche justice on Silvanus as hymself would
require.
Matters beeyng thus pacified for a while, I mil, in like
case, lette them rest for a tyme, and will now discourse how it
befell to the Dutches Messilina, with her daughter Phylene.
You haye heard before how, by constraint of weather at the
sea, thei were driven to this citie of Cherona, where the Duke
now remained, and at her first commyng, follyng to her worke
as before she had doen at Taryfia, a riche marchaunt thai
dwelte in the towne, takyng the viewe of this newe come
workewoman, fell into so greate a likyng with her, that onely
to have accesse to come into her companie, he bestowed more
money in cloathe to make hym shirtes and handcarchifes in
one weeke, then he wae able to weare out in three yeares after,
whiohe he put to her to make, whereby he became somethyng
well acquainted with her; but to the ende that she might
thinke her self something the better beholdjrng unto hym, he
proffered her a more convenient house then that she was in,
whiche he would fiimishe with all manor of householde stuffe
for a reasonable rent. She, beeyng very glad of so good an
offer, became his tenaunt. The marchaunt now perceivyng
his tyme did so well serve hym, without any greate circum*
staunce, declared unto her the greate good will he bare her ^
but Messilina so delaied hym with suche wise and reasonable
aunsw^rs, that from tyme to tyme the marchant hymself
eould not importunately crave that, whiche with suche mo*
destie she so h<mestly denaied him.
Now, there laie in this citie of Cherona the olde Dutches of
Petrona, who havyng inteligence of Messilina to be so good
a woorkewoman, she sent for her, to whom she put sondrie
parcelles of woorke ; whiche she so well finished to the likyng
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TO MILITABI£ PROFESSION. 65
of the Dutches, that from time to time she still plide her with
the like, whereby Messilina, with her daughter Phylene, had
continuall recourse to the pallas of the Dutches, where Ara- ^' ,
bianus, the onely sonne of the Duches of Petrona (and inhe-
ritour of the dukedome, but that he was under age) did
marke and behold the beautie and good grace of this yong
seamester, Phylene, was so clogged and fettered in the bandea
of love, that all other thoughtes seemed lothsome unto hym,
and every other joye displeasaunt, in respecte of the pleasure
that he suffered by thitlkyng of his fidre Phylene : wherefore
baityng hymself with hope, and tickled onely by love, he de*
termined, what soever happened, to love her.
Whiche beyng perceived by his mother, she began very
sharpely to rate hym, blamyng hym that would so indisoretly
place his love, not waiying his estate and birthe, as come of
princely race, and now would make hymself a &ble to the
worlde, to like of sttche a one so farre unworthie his degree.
Arabianus, £ftllyng downe upon his knees, moste humbly
desired his mother to beare with all that was paste, and
although it were truthe that she had saied, that he deemed
her for her birthe to be unworthie his degree, yet she de<»
served for her beautie to be compared to the greatest dame
and bravest minion els where. And whereas other girles, by
artificiall meanes and trumperies, doe inforce that whiche the
heavens have denaid them, yet Phylene had no other orna-
ment then that whiche nature had inlarged in her ; and other*
wise for her vertue, wisedome, and modeetie, he knewe it to
suche, by reporte of many, as she might bee a lanteme to the
greatest dame that lived.
*^ Notwithstandyng, madam, for so muche as you doe take
my facte in so ill parte, consideryng the reverence that I owe
to the place whiche you holde on my behaulf, and the duetie
and obedience that God will, and hath commaunded, that
children should beare to those that have begotten and borne
them, if it please you to pardon me of this that is past, I pro-
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56 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
test that from hence foarthe I will bee more wise, and better
advised, how I enter into anything that might tame to any
Buche consequence, or any maner of waies to offende you.**
The Dutches, knowyng all to be true that her sonne had
saied, very well pleased with his speeches, remained satisfied,
thmkyng in her mynde, in deede, that if Phylene had bin the
daughter but of some meane gentleman, her sonne should
never have sought &rther for a wife.
From this tyme forwardes, although Arabianus, by the
perswasion of his mother, had vowed tb revolt and let slip the
love that he bare to Phylene, yet he could not so clearely
loose his likyng, but that he did manifest some parte of hia
good will by giftes and good countenaonces whiche still he
bestowed upon Phylene, causing his mother likewise to
bestowe many liberaU rewardes upon Messilina: thus the
mother and the daughter perceived them selves a thousande
tymes beholdyng to the olde Dutches and her sonne.
In this meane space the marchaunt, before mentioned, had
buried his wife, and knowyng no other but that Messilina, his
tenaunte, had bin a widowe, he began now a freshe sute, and
with greate importunitie requested her in the waie of manage ;
and so hardly he laied unto her, that Messilina, not knowyng
otherwise how to rid hym, confessed unto hym that she had a
housbande alive, and therefore might not marie.
The marchaunt, thinkyng these to bee but delaies to shift
hym of, came to this pointe, that if hereafter he could prove
her, by her owne confession, to bee a widowe, that then
before witnesse she would take hym for her lawfull hous-
bande ; and till that tyme he would no farther trouble her
till he had made his profe. She beyng glad to be at rest,
thinkyng that he should woorke very wisely to make her con-
fesse her self to bee a widowe, agreed to his request, and wit-
nesse was had in the matter. The marchaunt, now letting his
matter rest a tyme for his better purpose, in the ende com-
myug unto her, he tolde her, that although she were so dis-
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TO MILIT ARIE PROFESSION. 5 7
coiirteoTis to forsake his frendshippe in every reapecte, first in
the waie of good fellowshippe, and after in the waie of mar-
riage, whereby he was driven to goe seeke farther, but now
havyng fonnde a wife in the countrey, to whom he was assured,
and ment presently to be married, »yet for the olde freedshippe
that he bare her, consideryng that he would presently remaine
in the countrey altogether, and forsake the citie, therefore, for
her better securitie, and assuraunce of her dwellyng, he would
make her a lease of the house that she dwelte in for one and
twentie yeres, if it might doe her any pleasure, without paiyng
any penie income.
Messilina, givyng hym greate thankes, tooke his offer verie
courteouslie, and the lease was put to makyng, which the
marchaunt signed and delivered ; and here withall desired her
single obligation for the performance of some small rente, were
it never so little, that she might acknowledge hym to bee her
landlorde, the whiche she never denaied to give.
The obligation was made in this manor :-;-'^ Knowe all men
by this presentes, that I, Messilina, widowe,^^ and so forthe,
with wordes in maner and forme of every obligation. This
obligation, thus made, was signed and delivered by Messilina
to the marchaunte, who had now gotten that so long he had
sought for, and by vertue of this obligation craved Messilina
to bee his wife, she denaiyng his demaiinde. But what could
that prevaile, when he had her owne hande and scale to shewe,
whereby she confessed her self a widowe, and then by her
owne agrement (as you have heard before) she must yeeld her
self to be his wife. This matter was long in fendyng and
proving, in so muche that the Duke beyng now in the toune,
ministryng of justice to suche as would crave it, the mar-
chaunt brought the matter before the Duke, who hearyng the
maner of the bargaine, and so many witnesses to affirrae the
same, gave sentence that the marchaunte ought in deede to
have her. But Messilina, fallyng at the feete of the Duke,
desiryug him with teares to deferre his judgement, the Duke
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68 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
now taking better vewe of the woman, knowjmg her bothe by
her voyce, and also by lookyng well on her face, perceived
assuredly that it was his own wife, he called againe to the
marchannte to see his obligation ; whiche when he had re-
ceived, he said in this manner.
^^ Maister marchannt, this obligation which yon have deli*
vered me, now I have perused with better advise, I finde it to
bee neither sufficient nor lawfull, for this woman that you
would make a widowe without doubte is maried, and hath a
housbande: now, she beyng under covert bame, your obli*
gation is unpleadable ; and I knowe not who you should blame,
whether yourself or the scrivener.^ And here withall, beeyng
replete with greate joye and gladnesse, takyng his wife up in
his armes, very lovyngly imbraced her, he said.
'^ Ah, my deare and lovyng wife ! how muche am I bounde
to render innumerable thankes to the Almightie God, that
when all hope was paste, have yet againe recovred my greatest
hope and comforte.'*^ Messilina, likewise perceivyng her lorde
and housebande, daspyng her handes about his necke, was
not able to speake a woorde for joye and contentation : the
companie that stoode by, amased to see this sodaine happe^
were likewise verie joyiuU to see this freendly meetyng. The
marchaunt, seyng how he had been deceived, tare his obliga-
tion, and departed all ashamed. The Duke now, desirous to
see his daughter Phylene, caused her mother to sonde for her,
who not knowyng her father otherwise then by reporte, fell
doune on her knees to crave his blessyng. The Duke takyng
her up, kissyng her with &therlie affection, could not staie his
teares in remembryng her brother Aurelianus, whom he
deemed to be dedde.
These newes were sodainly spred throughout the citie of
Cherona, in so muche that Arabianus, havyng now intelligence
that Philene was the daughter of the noble Duke Sa^ho,
certifiyng his mother the truthe whiche he had learned, with-
out any greate deliberation, bothe the mother and the sonne
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eommyng io vimte the Duke and his coropanie, where thei
were very well welcomed, bat especially by Messilina, to whom
the olde Duches and her sonne bothe had been verie boun-
tifiill ; and when awhile thei had passed the tyme with plea^
saunt disconrses of all that had passed, the Duches of Petrona
craved Philene in manage for her sonne. The Duke beyng
made priyie to the matter, knowyng Arabianus to bee come of
greate discent, and to bee indued with large and £ure posses-
sions, seyng hym likewise to bee a toward yong gentleman,
would not stande againste it, but referred the matter to his
dau^hter^s likyng. Philene, who had been greatly bounde to
the courtesie of the yong Duke, and had received many giftes
and good tumes at his handes, would not doe as a nomber of
these nise dames, that will many tymes make daintie of that
thei would fsunest come by, gave her free consent. There was
then no more to do but to prepare for the manage, which was
presently solemnized with greate pompe and glorie.
By this Valeria (whom, as you have heard before, the Duke
had sent for) was come to Gherona, who was prively lodged,
by the Duke^s commaundment, in a privie place. The daie
now beeyng come that Silyanus was brought to his auu'*'
iiwere, he could not denaie the fiK^te wherewith he was charged,
but that he had stolne Valeria from her &ther, by whiche con*
fession tho lawe condemned hym to dye. There were many
that knewe the noblenesse of Silyanus, that began to entreate
the Duke of Vasconia to remit the facte ; but all in vaine,
for the more thei entreated, the more he hastened to see
execution.
The Duke of Mantona, seeyng his greate obstinacie, did
thinke it hye tyme to finde a remedie for Silyanus if it might
bee : therefore he-saied, ^^ Sir Duke, were it possible that this
condemned manne, who is like (so &rre as I can see) to beare
the whole brunte, and yet might bee enticed to this facte by
your daughter's meanes, or, at the leaste, your daughter muste
bee halfe partner of this &ulte, and yeelded with her good
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60 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
will to come awaie, for otherwise it had been unposstble for
hym to have brought her from out your courte ; whiche if it
bee true, if you will needes see justice so duely executed in
the one, I can not see how your daughter can goe quite, but
must bee as well partaker of the punishement, as she was in
the fecte by yeeldyng her consent.'^
The Duke of Vasconia aunswerd. *^ As it is*the office and
duetie of every good justicer to knowe the valour and difference
betweene vertue and vice, to the ende that all vertuous actes
may bee honoured, and the contrary chastised and punished,
otherwise he is not worthy the name of a righteous judge, bat
of a cruell and traitorous tyrant ; wherefore, Sir Duke, you
sittyng here in the place of justice, to minister equitie and
right to every one that calleth, then I desire that I maie
have the lawe extended uppon this wretche, Silvanus. As for
my daughter that you speake of, as I knowe not where she is,
so I doe not desire to leame what is become of her ; but this
I protest, that if ever I maye finde her, rather then she
should escape unpunished, I will not let with myne owne
handes to do execution upon her, accordyng to her demerites,
and the filthinesse of her &cte, from henceforthe denouncyng
her to bee any child of myne, and make no better accoumpt of
her otherwise then to bee a filthie strompet, unworthy of me,
her father, or to chalenge her descent from suche a stocke.**^
•The Duke of Mantona was now troubled worse then before,
for where as he had some hope that the humble sute of Valeria
should somethyng have mooved her father to compassion, he
now thought that her sight would rather increase his rage and
Airie. Againe he thought, that to bryng her into his presence,
if he continued in one moode, he might woorke Valeria se
greate prejudice, as he would be hartely sorie to see; yet
thinkjmg with himself, that it was impossible that a &ther
should be so voyde of good nature, to see the utter mine of
his childe without any remorse, he caused Valeria to bee
sent for ; who beeyng conducted to the place, seeyng her &ther
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 61
and the reste of the companie, she beganne to conjecture that
all was not well ; but when Silvanus sawe his Valeria, won-
dering by what meanes she was brought to so eviU a banquette
remembryng what woordes her father before had protested, he
began with a piteous voice to crie out — •
" O, my deare, beloved wife ! the onely cause of my joye
and quiete ! what evill fortune hath conducted thee to this
place ! what froward &tes have forced thee, that thou shouldest
be made a companion of my mishappes ? O fraile and incon-
stant fortune ! how hast thou fronted my honest desires with
such a crooked spight, that where I covet the countenaunce
of greatest credite, there I am forced to hazard the losse of
life, and all what crooked aspecte hath governed my procead-
ynges, that the hoped tyme I spente in this warlike service
should thus conclude with his contrary, and I forced as it
were by fate to followe the unhappie event of the same,
wherein I doe confesse my predestinate follies. But suche are
the sonderie dealynges of this life, as those that tende their
steppes to monsterous mountaines doe sometyme scarce con-
clude with meane moole hilles, the sondrie conflictes of for-
tune maskyng my hope with a shewe of happie reward, hath
not onely wracked me, but it threateneth the sequell of worse
successe, that insteade of happie and quiet life, my daies
shalbe abridged with moste shamefuU and vile death. O^ Va-
leria, the joye and oomforte of my life ! I shall no more see
that incomparable beautie of thyne, -whiche darkeneth and
obscureth the rayes and beames of the sunne.*"
Then, toumyng hymself to the Duke of Vasconia, he said,
** I moste humbly beseche your grace to have compassion
upon me : not for that I would consume my life in your dis-
pleasure, I make offer of the same to your mercifiill will and
disposition, choosyng rather to dye, and to leave your grace
satisfied and contented, then to live a happie life, your princely
niinde displeased ; and albeit the right good intente and un-
stained conscience is free from faute, yet the judgemente of
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menne hath fiirther relation to the exterioar appearance then
to yertae^s force. Is it a synne to marrie t — ^is it a feulte to
flye and avoyde the synne of whoredome t What biwes be
these, then, where tike marriage bedde and joyned matrimonie
ia pursued with like severitie as murther, thefte, adulterief
But seeyng the &ult of this mishap to arise by my predes-
tinate evill lucke, I moste humbly beseohe you to mitigate your
rage, and to conceiye no sinister opinion of this your worthie
daughter, whose smallest greef is my double paine. As for
my self, I am well pleased with my misfortune, contented to
sacrafice my life onely to receive your cleare acquitaunce of
my offence, and will make satisfiiction with the price of my
blood;^
The Duke of Vasconia, bendjmg his browes, aunswered.
^^ No, traitour, no ; it is not thy life that shall appease my
forie, but I will so coole the whorishe heate of your minion,
for whome you seeme so muche to pleade, that I will make
. her an example to all others for doojmg of an acte so detest-
able. But what abuse have thei comitted under the title of
marriage, thinkyng, without remorse of conscience, by that
meanes to continue their mischeef ; and their promise and
futhe, that was made under a bushe, muste serre for a cloake
and visarde for their moste filthie whoredome. But what if
theii: marriage were concluded and confirmed by God hym*
self, is Silranus a manne worthy to be alied or mingled with
the royall blood of the house of Vasconia! No, no : I vowe I
will never take sound nor restfoU slope, untill I have dis-
patched that in&mous fiicte from our blood, and that vil-
laine whoremonger, with his trull, be used accordyng to their
desertes.*^^
Valeria now knowyng how matters were sorted out, and
hearying this cruell sentence pronounced by her &ther, fell
doune uppon her knees, and bitterly criyng out, she saied.
*^ My deare father, most humbly I beseche you, sithe no otixet
thing maie appease your ire then the life of the offender, let
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not this gentleman abide the penaunce of that vhiche he never
eommitted ; be reyenged on me, by whom the fiinlte (if a
woman'*s iaithe to her honBebande maie be termed a fiiult) is
doCT, and lette this unfortunate gentleman depart, who, God
knowes, is innocente of any other crime then what he was
brought into onely by my provocation.'^ And as she was
sbonte to have proeeded further in her talke, her &ther inter-
rupted her, saiyng-—
** Have you founde your tongue now, pretie peate! then wee
most have an almon for parrat. How durst thou, etrom-
pette, chalenge me to bee thy &ther! That without regarde
either of my renowne, or of the honour of my house, thou art
content to bee abandoned from this noble estate, and to be-
come a fugitive and a strannger, to follows a rooge up and
downe the countrey. No, minion, no : thinke not that any
feminine flatterie shall staie me from doyng thee to death, nor
your darlyng that standee by ^ou shall escape with his life,
voely beleevyng that in tyme it shall be knowne what profite
the worlde shall gains, by puTgying the same of suche an in-
fi^cted plague. And I doe hope, besides this, that in tyme to
come mome shall praise this deede of myne, who, for pre-
senyng the honour of my house, have chosen rather to dooe to
death twoo offendours, then to leave the one of them alive, as
lease fiiultie or giltlesse then the other.^
Valeria, once againe fiJlyng prostrate before her &ther, saied,
*^ I moete humbly beseche you, for that all other comforte is
denaied me, that I maie crave this onely grace at your handes,
for the lasts good that ever I hope to receive : which is, that
you beeyng thus greevouslie offended with me, dooe venge-
anuce at your pleasure uppon her, who willingly yeeldeth her-
self to the death, with the effntion of her blood to satifie your
ire, graunte onely that Silvanus, who is innocente and free
from &ult, maie goe quite.^'
But her &ther, no longer able for anger to heare her speake,
erieth out to the Duke to haste the execution. The Duke of
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Mantona, whose harte did bleede in his beallie for sorrowe,
perceivyng it follie to delaye longer tyme, gave sentence of
death, and present execution to be made, although he tooke so
greate sorrow for them, as if his daughter Philene should have
borne them companie : but he was not able to helpe it, the
lawes and ordinaunces of the countrey would not otherwise
permit ; and thinking to take his laste ferewell of Silyanus, he
saied. " O, Silvanus ! the glorie and honour of all yong gen-
tlemen that ever were, that bee now, or shall be hereafter this,
whose vertue, valliaunce, and worthie ezploites, doe glister
emongst the multitude, as the sunne beames doe upon the
cirquet of the yearth. Oh ! that thy harde fortune should
conducte thee to euche distresse, that onely by thyne owne
valiaunce and prowesse hast escaped so many daungers
emongst thy thronged enemies, and now thy ruine and oyer-
throwe should bee thus wrought, amiddest thy assured frendes,
that know not how to helpe it. What heapes of cares hath
besieged me on every side ! To thinke that I should crave
thy companie, whereby thou art brought into the middest of
fio greate mischeef, which otherwise mightest have escaped
this mishappe ! and thou, Valeria, would God thy unfortunate
hoste, whiche departed from thee, think'yng to dooe thy house-
band pleasure, had remained with thee a poore sexten still, till
this present daie !
The reste of the companie that stoode by, hearing the Duke
to make so greate lamentation, was likewise striken into a
marvailous greef and sorowe, in so muche that every one that
durste speake, cried to the Duke of Vasconia for pardon, and
that he would remitte the offence, and what pitie it were if he
should seeke the death of so noble a gentleman as Silvanus
had shewed hymself to bee. But' the Duke, persevering still
in one mynde, asked them with what &ce thei could make
request for a verlet of no reputation, whom he had founde in
the wooddes, and brought hym up to that estate he was come
to, not knowyng who was his father, but by seemyng some poore
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eonntry cloane ; and forgettyng hym self from whence he
sprong, neglectyn^ so many benefites which he had bestowed
upon him, would enter into those thynges, so fiirre unseemely,
and exceeding his degree.
The Duke of Mantona, givyng good eare to this tale, re-
membryng his soonne Aurelianus, whom he had loste in the
woodos about those partes, questioned with the Duke of the
tyme, and what apparell the child had on at that present, who
in all thinges shewed a trothe as it was. He demanded, &r-
ther, how he knewe his name to be Silvanus, or whether he
had any other name ? " Yes (% the Duke of Vasconia) his
name, he said, was Aurelianus, whiche my self changed to
Silvanus, because I founde hym in the wooddes.
Here withall, without any &rther staie, the Duke of Man-
tona, runnyng hastely uppon Silvanus, imbracing hym in his
armes, crying, ^^ O, my soonne ! my soonne !^^ and with this
sodain joye the teares trickled doune his cheekes so fast, that
he was not &rther able to speake one woorde.
The Duke of Vasconia, muche amazed to see this sight, but
a greate deale more gladde that Silvanus had founde out suche
a &ther, and now nothyng at all offended with his daughter's
choyce, came likewise with chearfuU countenance and im-
brased Silvanus, desiring bothe the Duke his father and hym-
self to forgive what was past ; and takyng Valerya by the
handa, he delivered her to Silvanus, promisyng hym for her
dowrie 40,000 franckes in golds, presently to be paied, and
after his decease to remaine for his inheritour.
Silvanus, better pleased with Valerya her self then with al
the rest that was promised, gave hym greate thankes, and so
did the Duke his £ftther.
All the companie were replenished with the greatest joie
that might be to see this sodaine sight, and thus thei de-
parted to the pallas, where the Duke kepte his abode, where
Silvanus was welcomed to his mother, to his sister, to Ara-
bianus, and to all the rest, where there was greate feastyng
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and triumph, and a bonde of everlastyng amitie betwene the
houses of the Duke of Mantona, the Duke of Vasconya, and
the Duke' of Petrona; and after a whjle thei had feasted and
sported them selves, thei rode altogether in companie to the
Emperour^s courte, who received them with so greate honour
as he could devise, and makyng hym self a partaker of their
mirthe, wondefyng to here the hole discourse how thynges
had happened. When after a while he had feasted them, and
shewed them as greate pleasures as might be devised, he be-
stowed of them al large and bountiftill giftes, but especially of
the two yong ladies, Valerya and Phylene ; and thus agreyng
amongest them selves to meete once a yeare, at the least, to
sporte and make themselves merrie, for this season thei
departed, every one where it lyked them beste.
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TO MILITARIB PR0FESU9I0N. 67
OP APOLONIUS AND SILLA.
THE ARGUMENT OF THE SECOND HISTORIE. '
Apdmiui Duke, hafcyng spent a yeres sermee in the ttarree
o^ainH the Turks, returning komward with his eampanie by
sea, was driven by farce of weather Ui the lie of Cypres, where
he was well received by Pontus, ffouvemour of the same He,
with whom Silla, daughter to Pontus, fell so straungdy in lave,
that after Apdonius was departed to Constantinople, Silla,
with one man, followed, and ccmmyng to Constantinople, she
served Apolonius in the habite of a manne, and after many
prety accidenies faliiny out, she was knowne to Apolonius, wko,
in requitcM of her love, maried her.
■ There is no child that is borne into this wretched worlde,
bat before it doeth sacke the mother^s milke, it taketh first a
soope of the cupp of errour, which maketh us, when we come
to riper yeres, not onely to enter into actions of injurie, but
many tymes to stnue from that is right and reason ; but in all
other thinges, wherein wee shewe onr selyes to bee moste
dronken with this poisoned cappe, it is in our actions of love ;
for the lover is so estranged from that is right, and wandereth
80 wide from the boondes of reason, that he is not able to deeme
white from blacke, good from badde, vertue from vice; but
onely led by the apetite of his owne affections, and groundyng
them on the foolishnesse of his owne fancies, will so settle his
likyng on such a one, as either by desert or unworthinesse jnll
merite rather to be loathed then loved.
f2
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If a question might be asked, what is the ground in deede
of reasonable love, whereby the knot is knit of trae and perfect
freendship, I thinke those that be wise would answere — de-
serte : that is, where the partie beloved dooeth requite us with
the like ; for otherwise, if the bare shewe of beautie, or the
comelinesse of personage might bee sufficient to confirme us in
our love, those that bee accustomed to goe to faires and
markettes might sometyroes iall in love with twentie in a daie :
desert must then bee (of force) the grounde of reasonable love;
for to love them that hate us, to followe them that flie from
us, to faune on them that froune on us, to currie favour with
them that disdaine us, to bee glad to please theim that care not
how thai offende us, who will not confesse this to be an erro-
nious love, neither grounded uppon witte nor reason ! Wher-
fore, right curteous gentilwomen, if it please you with pacience
to peruse this historie following, you shall see Dame Errour so
plaie her parte with a leishe of lovers, a male and twoo femalles,
as shall woorke a wonder to your wise judgement, in notyng
the effecte of their amorous devises, and conclusions of their
actions : the firste neclectvng the love of a noble dame, yong,
beautiftill, and faire, who onely for his good will plaied the
parte of a serving manne, contented to abide any manor of
paine onely to behold him : he again setting his love of a
dame, that despysing hym (beeyng a noble Duke) gave her self
to a servyng manne (as she had thought) ; but it otherwise
fell out, as the substance of this tale shall better discribe. And
because I have been somethyng tedious in my firste discourse,
offending your pacient eares with the hearyng of a ciixumstaunce
over long, from hence forthe, that whiche i minde to write
shall bee dooen with suche celeritie, as the matter that I j»^-
tende to penne maie in any wise permit me, and thus foUoweth
the historie.
During the tyme that the famous citie of Constantinople
remained in the handes of Christians, emongst many other
noble menne that kepte their abidjmg in that florishyng citie,
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there was one whose name was Apolonius, a worthie duke,
who beyng but a verie yong man, and even then newe come to
his possessions, whiche were verie greate, levied a mightie
bande of menne at his owne proper charges, with whom he
served againste the Turke duryng the space of one whole jere :
in whiche tyme, although it were very shorte, this yong Duke
60 behaved hym self, as well by prowesse and valiaunce shewed
with his owne handes, as otherwise by his wisdome and libe^
ralitie used towardes his souldiors, that all the worlde was
filled with the feme of this noble Duke; When he had thus
spent one yeares service, he caused his trompet to sounde a
retraite, and gatheryng his companie together, and imbarkyng
theim selves, he sette saile, holdyng his course towardes Con-
stantinople : but, beeyng uppon the sea, by the extreamitie of
a tempest whiche sodainly fell, his fleete was desevered, some
one waie, and some another ; but he by mself recovered the Isle
of Cypres, where he was worthily received by Pontus, duke
and gouvemour of the same ile, with whom he lodged while
his shippes were newe repairyng.
This Pontus, that was lorde and govemour of this famous
lie, was an auncient duke, and had twoo children, a soonne and
a daughter : his soonne was named Silvio, of whom hereafter w6
shall have Airther occasion to speake ; but at this instant he
was in the partes of Africa, servyng in the warres.
The daughter her name was Silla, whose beautie was so
peerelesse, that she had the soveraintie emongest all other
dames, aswell for her beautie as for the npblenesse of hir birthe.
This Silla, having heai-d of the worthinesse of Apolonius, this
yong Duke, who besides his beautie and good graces had a
certaine naturall allurement, that beeyng now in his companie
in her fether^'s courte, she was so strangely attached with the
love of Apolonius, that there was nothyng might content her
but his presence and sweete sight | and although she sawe no
manor of hope to attaine to that she moste desired, knowyng
Apolonius to be but a geaste, and readie to take the benefite
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70 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
of the next winde, and to departe into a straunge countrej,
whereby she was bereyed of all possibillitie ever to see hjm
againe, and therefore strived with herself to leare her fonde-
nessoy but all in vaine ; it would not bee, but, like the foule
whiche is once limed, the more she striyeth, the fitster she
tieth her self. So Silla was now constrained, perforce her
will, to yeeld to lore, wherefore, from tjme to t jme, she used so
^ate &miliaritie with hym as her honour might well permitte,
and fedde him with suche amourous baites as the modestie of a
maide could reasonably afforde ; whiche when she perceived did
take but small effecte, feelyng herself so muche out raged with
the extreamitie of her passion, by the onely countenaunoe that
she bestowed uppon Apolonius, it might have been well per*
ceived that the verie eyes pleaded unto hym for pitie and re-
morse. Bat Apolonius, commyng but lately from out the
feelde from the chasyng of his enemies, and his furie not yet
throughly desolyed, nor purged from his stomacke, gaye no
regarde to those amourous eniisementes, whiche, by reason of
his youth, he had not been acquainted with all. But his
minde ranne more to heare his pilotes bryng newes of a raerie
winde to serve his tume to Gonstantinople, whiche in the ende
came very prosperously; and givyng Duke Pontus hartie
thankes for his greate entertaynment, takyng his leave of hym-
self and the Ladie Silla, his daughter, departed with his
companie, and with a happie gaale arived at his desired porte.
Gentlewomen, accordyng to my promise, I will here, for bre-
vities sake, omit to make repetition of the long and dolorous
discourse recorded by Silla for this sodaine departure of her
Apolonius, knowyng you to bee as tenderly hearted as Silla
her self, whereby you male the better conjecture the fririe (^
her fever. But Silla, the ftu-ther that she sawe herself bereved
of all hope ever any more to see her beloved Apolonius, so
muche the more contagious were her passions, and made the
greater speede to execute that she had j^remeditated in her
mynde, which was this. Emongest many servants that did
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attend uppon her, there was' one whose name was Pedro, who
had a long tjme waited upon her in her chamber, wherby
she was well assured of his fidelitie and trust : to that Pedrp
therefore she bewraied first the fervencie of her love borne to
Apolonius, conjuring hym in the name of the goddes of love
herself^ and bindyng hym by the duetie that a servante ought
to have, that tendereth his mistresse safetie and good likyng,
and desiryng hym, with teares tricklyng doune her cheekes,
that he would give his consent to aide and assiste her in that
she had determined^ whiche was for that she was fully resolved
to goeto Gonstantinople, where she might againe take the vewe
of her beloved Apolonius, that he, accordyng to the trust she
had reposed in hym, would not refuse to give his consent,
secretly to convaie her from out her father's courte, accordyng
as she should give hym direction, and also to make hym ^If
pertaker of her journey, and to waite upon her till she had seen
the ende of her determination;
Pedro, perceivyng with what vehemencie his ladie and mis-
tresse had made request unto hym, albeeit he sawe many perilles
and doubtes dependyng in her pretence, notwithstandyng,
gave his consent to be at her disposition, promisyng her to
further her with his beste advice, and to be readie to obeye
inrhatsoever she would please to commaunde him. The match
beyng thus agreed upon, and all thynges prepared in a readi^
nesse for their departure, it happened there was a gallie of
Constantinople readie to departe, whiche Pedro understandyng^
came to the captaine, desiryng him to have passage for hym-
aelf a^d for a poore maide that was his sister, whiche were
bounde to Gonstantinople uppon certaine urgent affaires : to
whiche request the captaine graunted, vdllyng hym to prepare
aborde with all speede, because the winde served hym pre-
sently to departe.
Pedro now commyng to his mistres, and tellyng her how he
had handeled the matter with the captaine, she likyng verie
well of the devise, disguisyng herself into verie simple atyre,
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72 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
stole awaie from out her &ther^s court, and came with Pedro,
whom now she calleth brother, aboarde the galleje, where all
thynges beyng in readinesse, and the winde serryng yerie well,
thei launched forthe with their oares, and set saile. When thei
were at the sea, the ci^taine of the galleye, takyng the yewe
of Silla, perceiyyng her singular beautie, he was better pleased
in beholdjng of her face then in takyng the height either of
the sunne or starre, and thinkyng her, by the homelinesse of
her apparell, to be but some simple maiden, calling her into
his cabin, he beganneto breake with her, after the sea fiishion,
desiryng her to use his owne cabin for her better ease, and
duryug the tyme that she remained at the sea, she should not
want a bedde; and then, wisperyng softly in her eare, hesaied,
that, for want of a bedfellow, he hym self would supplie that
rome. Silla, not beyng acquainted with any suche talke,
blusahed for shame, but made hym no aunswere at all. My
captaine, feelyng suche a bickeryng within him sel^ the like
whereof he had neyer indured upon the sea, was like to bee
taken prisoner aboard his owne shippe, and forced to yeeld
hymself a captiye without any cannon shot ; wherefore, to salye
all sores, and thinkyng it the readiest waie to speed, he began
to breake with Silla in the waie of mariage, tellyng her how
happie a yoiage she had made, to &11 into the likyng of suche
a one as hymself was, who was able to keepe and maintaine
her like a gentilwoman, and for her sake would likewise take
her brother into his fellowship, whom he would by some meanes
prefarre in suche sorte, that bothe of theim should haye good
cause to think theimselyes thrise happie, she to light of suche a
housbande, and he to light of suche a brother. But Silla, no-
thyng pleased with these prefermentes, desired hym to cease
his talke, for that she did thynke her self in deede to bee too
unworthie suche a one as he was, neither was she minded yet
to marrie, and therefore desired hym to fixe his femcie uppon
some that were better worthie then herself was, and that could
better like of his curtesie then she could dooe. The captaine,
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 73
Beeyng hymself thus revised, beyng in a greate chafe, he saied
as followeth.
Then, seeyng you make so little accompte of my curtesie,
proffered to one that is so farre unworthie of it, from hence-
forthe I will use the office of my aucthoritie : you shall knowe
that I am the captaine of this shippe, and have power to com-
maunde and dispose of thynges at my pleasure ; and seyng
you have so scornfully rejected me to be your loiall housbande,
I will now take you by force, and use you at my will, and su
long as it shall please me will keepe you for myne owne store ;
there shall be no man able to defende you, nor yet to perswade
me from that I have determined.
Silla, with these wordes beyng strol^e into a greate feare, did
thinke it now too late to rewe her rashe attempte, determined
rather to dye with her owne handes, then to suffer hersdf to
be abused in suche sorte ; therefore, she moste humbly desired
the captaine, so muche as he could, to save her credite, and
seyng that she must needes be at his will and disposition,
that for that present he would depart, and suffer till night,
when in the darke he might take his pleasure, without any
maner of suspition to the residue of his companie. The cap-
taine, thinkyng now the goale to be more then half wonne, was
contented so &rre to satisfie her request, and departed out,
leavyng her alone in his cabin.
Silla, beyng alone by her self, drue oute her knife, readie to
strike herself to the harrt, and, fallyng upon her knees, de-
sired Ood to receive her soule, as an acceptable sacrifice for
her follies, whiche she had so wilfully committed, cravyng
pardon for her sinnes and so forthe, continuyng a long and
pitifull reconciliation to God, in the middest whereof there
sodainely fell a wonderfidl storme, the terrour whereof was
suche, that there was no man but did thinke the seas would
presently have swallowed them : the billowes so sodainly arose
with the rage of the winde, that thei were all glad to fall to
heaving out of water, fox otherwise their feeble gallie had never
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bin able to have brooked the seas. This storme continued all
that dale and the next night ; and thei beeyng driyen to put
' romer before the winde, to keepe the gallie a bed the billowe,
were driven uppon the maine shore, where the gailie brake all
to peeces : there was every man providing to save his own
life; some gat upon hatches, boordes, and casks, and were
driven with the waves to and fro ; but the greatest nomber
were drouned, amongst the whiche Pedro was one ; but SiUa
her self beyng in the caben, as you have heard, tooke holde of
a cheste that was the captaines, the whiche, by the onely pro-
vidence of God, brought her safe to the shore, the whiche when
she had recovered, not knowyng what was become of Pedro
her manne, she deemed that bothe he and all the rest had been
drouned, for that she sawe no bodie uppon the shore but her ,
self. Wherefore, when she had a while made greate lamenta-
tions, complainyng her mishappes, she beganne in the ende to
comforte herself with the hope that she had to see her Appo-
lonius, and found suche meanes that she brake open the chest
that brought her to lande, wberin she found good store of
coine, and sondi^e sutes of apparell that were the captaines.
And now, to prevent a nomber of injuries that might bee prof-
I fered to a woman that was lefte in her case, she determined to
leave her owne apparell, and to sort her self into some of those
sutes, that, beyng taken for a man, she might passe through
the countrie in the better safetie : and, as she changed her
apparell, she thought it likewise convenient to change her
name ; wherefore, not readily happenyng of any other, she
called her self Silvio, by the name of her owne brother, whom
you have heard spoken of before.
In this manor she travailed to Constantinople, where she
inquired out the palace of the Duke Apolonius ; and thinking
herself now to be bothe fitte and able to plaie the servyngman,
she presented herself to the Duke, cravyng his service. The
Duke, verie willyng to give succour unto strangers, perceivyng
him to bee a proper smogue yong man, gave hym entertaiu-
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. ' 75
ment. Silla thought her aelf now more then satisfied for all
the casaalties that had happened unto her in her journey, that
she might at her pleasure take but the vew of the Duke
Apolonins, and above the reste of his senrantes was yerie dili-
gent and attendaunt uppon hjrm ; the whiche the Duke per*
ceyyng, beganne likewise to growe into good likyng with the
diligence of his man, and therefore made hym one of his cham-
ber: who but Silvio then was moste neare aboute hym, in
helpyug of hym to make hym readie in a momyng, in the
settyng of his ruffes, in the keepyng of his chamber! Silvio
pleased his maister so well, that above all the reste of his ser-
Tantes aboute hym he had the greatest credite, and the Duke
put him moste in trust.
At this verie instaunt there was remainyng in the citie a
noble Dame, a widowe, whose housebande^vas but lately de-
cease da. one of the noblest men that were in the partes of
Orecia, who left his lady and wife lai^e possessions and greate
livinges. This ladies name was called Julina, who, besides the
aboundance of her wealth and the greatnesse of her revenues,
had likewise the soveraigntie of all the dames of Constantinople
for her beautie. To this Ladie Julina Apolonius became an
earnest suter ; and, accordyng to the manor of woers, besides
fiure woordes, sorrowfiill sighes, and piteous countenaunces,
there must bee sendyng of lovyng letters, chaines, bracelettes,
brouohes, rynges, tablets, gemmes, juels, and presentes, I
knowe not what. So my Duke, who in the tyme that he re-
mained in the He of Gypres had no skill at all in the arte of
love, although it were more then half proffered unto hym, was
now become a schoUer in love's schoole, and had alreadie
l eaned his fi rst lesson ; that is, to speake pitifully, to looke *
ruthfiilly, to promise largely, to serve diligently, and to please
carefully : now he was learnyng his seconde lesson ; that is,
to reward liberally, to give bountifully, to present willyngly^
and to write lovyngly. Thus Apolonius was so busied in his
newe studie, that I warrant you there was no man that could
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76 RIGHE HIS FAREWELL
chalenge hym for plaiyng the truant, he followed his profession
with 80 good a will : and who must bee the messenger to carrie
the tokens and loye letters to the Ladie Julina, but Silvio, his
manne : in hym the Duke reposed his onely confidence to goe
betweene hym and his ladie.
Now, geutilwomen, doe you thinke there could have been a
greater torment devised, wherewith to affliete the harte of
Silla, then her self to bee made the instrumente to woorke her
owne mishapp, and to plaie the attumey in a cause that made
so muche againste her self! But Silla, altogether desirous to
please her maister, cared nothyng at all to offende herself, fol-
lowed his bttsinesse with so good a will, as if it had been in her
owne preferment.
Julina, now havyng many tymes taken the gaze of thfs
yong youth, Silvio, perceivyng hym to bee of suche excellent^
perfecte grace, was so intangeled with the ^often sight of this
sweete temptation, that she fell into as greate a likyng with
the man as the maister was with herself; and on a tyme, Silvio
beyng sent from his maister with a message to the Ladie
Julina, as he beganne very earnestly to solicit in his maister^s
behalfe, Julina, interruptyng hym in his tale, saied : Silvio, it
is enough that you have saied for your maister ; from hence-
forthe, either speake for your self, or saie nothyng at alL
Silla, abashed to heare these wordes, began in her minde to
accuse the blindnesse of Love, that Julina, neglectyng the good
will of so noble a Duke, would preferre her love unto suche a
one, as nature it self had denaied to recompense her likyng.
And now, for a tyme leavyng matters dependyng as you
have heard, it fell out that the right Silvio indeede (whom you
have heard spoken of before, the brother of Silla) was come to
his father's courte into the He of Cypres ; where, understanding
that his sister was departed in maner as you have heard, con-
jectured that the very occasion did proceade of some liking had
betwene Pedro her man (that was missyng with her) and her-
self: but Silvio, who loved his sister as dearly as his owne life,
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and the rather for that, as she was his naturall sister, bothe
by father and mother, so the one of theim was so like the other
in countenaunce and favour, that there was no man able to
desceme the one from the other by their faces, savyng by their
aparell, the one beyng a man, the other a woman.
Silvio, therefore, vowed to his father, not onely to seeke out
his sister Silla, but also to revenge the yillanie whiche he con-
ceived in Pedro for the carrlyng awaie of his sister ; and thus
departyng, havyng travailed through many cities and tounes,
without hearyng any manor of newes of those he wente to
seeke for, at the laste he arrived at Constantinople, where as
he was walkyng in an evenyng for his owne recreation, on a
pleasaunte greene yarde, without the walles of the citie, he
fortuned to meete with the Ladie Julina, who likewise had
been abroad to take the aire ; and as she sodainly caste her eyes
nppon Silvio, thinkyng hym to bee her olde acquaintaunce, by
reason thei were so like one another, as you have heard before,
saied unto hym, Sir Silvio, if your haste be not the greater, I
praie you, let me have a little talke with you, seyng I have
so luckely mette you in this place.
Silvio, wondoryng to heare hym self so rightlie named, beyng
but a straunger, not of above twoo daies continuance in the
citie, verie courteouslie came towardes her, desirous to heare
what she would saie.
Julina, commaunding her traine somthyns^ to stande backe,
saied as foUoweth : Seyng my good will and frendly love hath
been the onely cause to make me so prodigall to offer that I
see is so lightly rejected, it maketh me to thinke that men bee
of this condition, rather to desire those thynges whiche thei
can not come by, then to esteeme or value of that whiche bothe
largely and liberallie is offered unto theim : but if the liberalitie
of my proffer hath made to seme lesse the value of the thing
that I ment to present, it is but in your owne conceipt, con-
sideryng how many noble men there hath been here before,
and be yet at this present, whiche hath bothe served, sued,
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78 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
and moste humbly intreated, to attaine to that, whiche to you
of myself I hare freely offred, and I perceive is despised, or at
the least verie lightly re^rded.
Silvio, wonderyng at these woordes, but more amaeed that
she could so rightlie call hym by his name, could not tell what
to make of her speeches, assuryng hym self that she was de-
ceived and did mistake hym, did thinke, notwithstandyng, it
had been a poincte of greate simplicite, if he should forsake
that whiche Fortune had so &vourably proffered unto hym,
perceivyng by her traine that she was some ladie of greate
honour, and vewyng the perfection of her beautie and the ex-
cellencie of her grace and countenaunce, did thinke it unpos-
sible that she should be despised, and therefore aunswered
thus:
Madame, if before this tyme I have seemed to forgett my
self, in neglectyng your courtesie whiche so liberally you have
ment unto me, please it you to pardon what is paste, and from
this daie forewardes Silvio remaineth readie preste to make
Buche reasonable amendes as his abilitie may any waies permit,
or as it shall please you to commaunde.
Julina, the gladdest woman that might bee to heare these
joyfiill newee, ssued : Then, my Silvio, see you fiule not to
morrowe at night to suppe with me at my owne house, where I
will discourse farther with you what amendes you shall make
me : to whiche request Silvio gave his glad consente, and thus
thei departed, verie well pleased. And as Julina did thinke
the tyme verie long till she had reapte the fruite of her desire,
so Silvio he wishte for harvest before come could growe,
thinkyng the tyme as long till he sawe how matters would fijl
out ; but, not knowyng what ladie she might bee, he presently
(before Julina was out of sight) demaunded of one that was
walkyng by, what she was, and how she was called ! who satisfied
Silvio in every poincte, and also in what parte of the toune her
house did stande, whereby he might enquire it out.
Silvio, thus departing to his lodging, passed the night with
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yerie unquiet sleapes, and the nexte mornyng his mynde ran
BO muche of his supper, that he never cared neither for his
breakftst nor dinner ; and the daie, to his seemyng, passed
awaie so slowlie, that he had thought the statelie steedes had
been tired that drawe the chariot of th^ sunne, or ele some
other Josua had commaunded them againe to stande, and
wished that Phaeton had been there with a whippe.
Julina, on the other side, she had thought the clocke setter
had plaied the knave, the daie came no fester forewardes : but
sixe a clocke beejng once stroken, recovered comforte to bothe
parties ; and Silvio, hastenyng hymself to the pallace of Julina,
wherby her he was frendlj welcomed, and a sumpteous
supper beeyng made readie, fiimished with sondrie sortes of
delicate dishes, thei satte them doune, passyng the supper
tyme with amorous lokes, lovyng countenaunces, and secret
glaunces conveighed from the one to the other, whiche did
better satisfie them then the feedyng of their daintie dishes.
Supper tyme beeyng thus spent, Julina did thinke it verie
unfitly if she should toume Silvio to goe seeke his lodgyng in
an evenyng, desired hym therefore that he would take a bedde
in her house for that night ; and, bringyng hym up into a iaire
chamber that was verie richely furnished, she founde suche
meanes, that when all the reste of her houshold servauntes
were a bedde and quiet, she came her self to beare Silvio com-
panie, where, concludyng uppon conditions that were in ques-
tion between them, thei passed the night with suche joye and
contentation as might in that convenient tyme be wished for.
But onely that Julina, feedyng too muche of some one dishe
above the reste, received a surfet, whereof she could not bee
cured in fonrtie weekes after, a naturall inclination in all
women whiche are subjecte to longyng, and want the reason to
use a moderation in their diet : but the mornyng approchyng,
Julina tooke her leave, and conveighed her self into her owne
chamber ; and when it was &ire daie Ught, Silvio, makyng
hym self readie, departed likewise about his affaires in the
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80 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
toune, debatyng with hjmself how thynges had happened,
I beyng well asfiured that Julina had mistaken him ; and, there-
fore, for feare of farther eyilles, determined to come no more
there, but tooke his journey towardes other places in the partes
of Grecia, to see if Be could leame any tidynges of his sister
Silla.
The Duke Apolonius, havyng made a long sute and never a
whit the nerer of his purpose, came to Julina to crave her
direct aunswere, either to accept of hym and of suche condi-
tions as he proffered unto her, or els to give hym his laste fiure-
well.
Julina, as you have heard, had taken an earnest penie of
another, whom she had thought had been Silvio, the Duke's man,
was at a contr oversie in her self what she might doe : one While
she thought, seyng her her occasion served so fitt, to crave the
Dake'^s good will, for the mariyng of his manne ; then againe,
she could not tell what displeasure the Duke would conceive,
in that she should seeme to preferre his man before hymself,
did thinke it therefore beste to conceale the BUitter, till she
might speake with Silvio, to use his opinion how these matters
should be handled : and hereupon resolvyng herself, desiiyng
the Duke to pardon her speeches, saied as followeth.
Sir Duke, for that from this tyme forwardes I am no longer
of myself havyng given my fiill power and authoritie over to
another, whose wife I now remaine by fiuthfuU vowe and pro-
mise : and albeit I knowe the worlde will wonder when thei
shall understande the fondnesse of my choice, yet I trust you
yourself will nothyng dislike with me, sithe I have ment no
other thing then the satisfiyng of myne owne contentation and
likyng.
The Duke, hearyng these woordes, aunswered : Madam, I
must then content my self, although against my wil, having
the lawe in your owne handes to like of whom you liste, and
to make choise where it pleaseth you.
Julina, givyng the Duke greate thankes, that would content
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 81
himself with sache pacience, desired hym likewise to giye his
free eonsent, and good will to the partie whom she had chosen
to be her housebande.
Naie, snrely, madam, (q^ the Dake) I will never giye my
consent that any other man shall enjoye you then myself: I
haYe made too greate accompt of yon, then so lightly to passe
yoQ awaie with my good will. But seeyng it lieth not in me
to let yon, hayyng (as you saie) made your owne choise, so
from hence fbrwardes I leave you to your owne likyng, alwaies
willyng you well, and thus will take my leave.
The Duke departed towardes his owne house, verie sorrow-
M that Julina had thus served hym : but in the meane space
that the Duke had remained in the house of Julina, some of
his servantes fell into talke and conference with the servantes
of Julina; where, debatyng betwene them of the likelihood of
the mariage betweene the Duke and the ladie, one of the ser-
vantes of Julina saied, that he never sawe his ladie and mistres
use so good countenaunce to the Duke hym self, as she had
doen to Silvio his manne ; and began to report with what fami-
liaritie and courtesie she had received hym, feasted hym, and
lodged hym, and that, in his opinion, Silvio was like to speede
before the Duke, or any other that were suters.
This tale was quickly brought to the Duke hymself, who,
makyng better inquirie in the matter, founde it to be true that
was reported ; and, better consideryng of the woordes whiche
Julina had used towardes hymself, was verie well assured that
it could bee no other then his owne manne, that had thrust
his nose so farre out of joynte: wherefore, without any Airther
r^peet, caused hym to be thrust into a dongeon, where he was
kept prisoner in a verie pitiAill plight.
Poore Silvio, havynggotte intelligence by some of his fellowes
what was the cause that the Duke his maister did beare suche
displeasure unto hym, devised all the meanes he could, as well
by meditation by his fellowes, as otherwise by petitions and
supplications to the Duke, that he would suspende his judge-
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82 RIGHE HI8 FAREWELL
mente till perfecte proofe were "had in the matter, and then, if
any maner of thyng did fall out againste hym, wherby the
Duke had cause to take any greef, he would confesse hym self
worthie not onely of imprisonmente, but also of moste vile and
shameiuU death. With these pititions he daiely plied the
Duke, but all in vaine ; for the Duke thought he had made bo
good proofe, that he was throughlie confirmed in his opinion
against his man.
But the Ladie Julina, wonderyng what made Silvio that he
was so slacke in his visitation, and why he absented hym self
so long from her presence, beganne to thiuke that all was not
well 5 but in the ende, perceivyng no decoction of her former
Burfette, received as you have heard, and findyng in her self
an unwonted swellyng in her beallie, assuryng her self to bee
with child, fearyng to become quite banckroute of her honour,
did thinke it more then tyme to seeke out a father, and made
suche secret searche and diligent enquirie, that she learned the
truthe how Silvio was kepte in prison by the Duke his maister ;
and mindyng to finde a present remedie, as well for the love
she bare to Silvio, as for the maintenaunce of her credite and
estimation, she speedily hasted to the pallace of the Duke, to
whom she saied as followeth.
Sir Duke, it male bee that you will thinke my commyng to
your house in this sorte doeth somethyng passe the limites of
modestie, the whiche I protest, before God, proceadeth of this
desire, that the worlde should knowe how justly I soke meanes
to maintaine iny honour. But to the ende I seeme not tedious
with prolixitie of woordes, nor to use other then direct circum-
stances, knowe, sir, that the love I beare to my onely beloved
Silvio, whom I doe esteeme more then all the jewelles in the
worlde, whose personage I regard more then my owne life, is
the onely cause of my attempted journey, beseechyng you, that
all the whole displeasure, whiche I understand you have con-
ceived against hym, maie be imputed unto my charge, and
that it would please you lovingly to deale with him, whom of
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 83
myself I have choflen, rather for the satisfaction of mine honest
likjng, than for the vaine preheminences or honourable dig-
nities looked after by ambicioas myudes.
The Duke, having heard this discourse, caused Silvio pre-
sently to be sent for, and to be brought before hym, to whom
he saied : Had it not been sufficient for thee, when I had re-
posed myself in thy fidelitie and the trustinesse of thy service,
that thou shouldest so traitorously deale with me, but since
tiiat tyme hast not spared still to abuse me with so many
forgeries and perjured protestations,- not onely hateAiU unto
me, whose simplicitie thou thinkest to bee suche, that by the
plotte of thy pleasaunt tongue thou wouldest make me be-
leeve a manifest untrothe; but moste habominable bee thy
doynges in the presence and sight of G-od, that hast not spared
to blaspheme his holy name by callyng hym to bee a witnesse
to maintaine thy leasynges, and so detestably wouldest for- •
Bweare thyself in a matter that is so openly knowne.
Poore Silvio, whose innocencie was suche that he might
lawfully sweare, seing Julina to be there in place, aunswered
thus.
Moste noble Duke, well understandyng your conceived
greefe, moste humbly I beseche you paciently to heare my
excuse, not mindyng therby to aggravate or heape up youre
wrathe and displeasure, protestjrng, before God, that there is
nothyng in the worlde whiche I regarde so muche, or dooe
esteeme so deare, as your good grace and favour ; but desirous
that your grace should know my innocencie, and to cleare my
self of suche impositions, wherewith I knowe I am wrongftilly
accused, whiche, as I understande, should be in the practisjrng
of the Ladie Julina, who standeth here in place, whose ac-
quitaunce for my better discharge now I moste humbly crave,
protestyng, before the Almightie God, that neither in thought,
worde, nor deede, I have not otherwise used my self then ac-
cordyng to the bonde and duetie of a servante, that is bothe
willyng and desirous to further his maister^s sutes ; which if I
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84 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
have otherwise saied then that is true, you, Madame Jalina,
who can verie well deside the depthes of all this doubte, I
moste humbly beseche you to certifie a trothe, if I have in any
thyng missaied, or have other wise spoken then is right and
just.
Julina, havyng heard this discourse whiche Silvio had
made, perceivyng that he stoode in greate awe of the Duke^s
displeasure, aunswered thus : Thinke not, my Silvio, that my
commyng hither is to accuse you of any misdemeanour to-
wardes your maister, so -I dooe not deuaie but in all snche
imbassages wherein towardes me you have been imployed, you
have used the office of a faithfuU and trustie messenger, neither
am I ashamed to confesse, that the first daie that mine eyeei
did beholde the singular behaviour, the notable curtesie, and
other innumerable giftes wherewith my Silvio is endued, but
that beyonde all measure my harte was so inflamed, that impos-
sible it was for me to quenche the fervente love, or extinguishe
the least parte of my conceived torment, before I had bewraied
the same unto hym, and of my owne motion craved his pro-
mised iaithe and loialtie of marriage ; and now is the tyme to
manifest the same unto the worldle whiche hath been doen be-
fore God and betwene ourselves, knowyng that it is not neede-
ftill t6 keepe secret that whiche is neither evill doen nor hurt-
full to any persone. Therefore (as I saied before) Silvio is my
housbande by plited faithe, whom I hope to obtaine without
offence or displeasure of any one, trustyng that there is no
manne that will so farre forget hymself as to restraine that
whiche Q-od hath left at libertie for every wight, or that will
seeke by eruehie to force ladies to marrie, otherwise then ac-
cordyng to their owne likyng. Feare not then, my Silvio, to
keepe your faith and promise whiche you have made unto me ;
and as for the reste, I doubte not thynges will so fall out as
you shall have no maner of cause to complaine.
\ Silvio, amased to heare these woordes, for that Julina by
her speeche seemed to confirme that whiche he moste of all
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 85
desired to bee quite of, saied : Who would have thought that
a ladie of so greate honour and reputation would her self bee
the embassadour of a thyng so prejuditiall and uncomely for
her estate! What plighted promises be these whiche bee
spoken of? altogether ignoraunt unto me, whiche if it bee
otherwise then I have saied, you sacred goddes consume me
straight with flashyng flames of firej But what woordes might
I use to give credite to the truthe and innocencie of my cause!
Ah, Madame Julina ! I desire no other testiraonie then your
owne, I desire no other testimonie then your owne honestie
and vertue, thinkyng that you will not so muche blemishe the
brightnesse of your honour, knowyng that a woman is, or
should be, the image of curtesie, continencie, and sham&st-
nesse^ from the whiche so sone as she stoopeth, and leayeth
the office of her duetie and modestie, besides the degraduation
of her honour, she thrusteth her self into the pitte of perpetuall
in&mie. And as I can not thinke you would so &rre forgette
yourself by the refusall of a noble Duke, to dimme the light of
your renowne and glorie, whiche hetherto you have n>aintained
emongest the beste and noblest ladies, by suche a one as I
knowe my self to bee, too ferre unworthie your degree and
eallyng, so moste humbly I beseche you to confesse a trothe,
whereto tendeth those vowes and promises you speake of,
whiche speeches bee so obscure unto mee, as I knowe not for
my life how I might understande them.
Julina, somethyng nipped with these speeches, saied : And
what is the matter, that now you make so little accompte of
your Julina ! that, beeyng my housband in deede, have the
face to denaie me, to whom thou art contracted by so many
solemne othes ! What ! arte thou ashamed to have me to thy
wifej^ How muche oughtest thou rather to be ashamed to
breake thy promised faithe^ and to have despised the holie and
dreadAiU name of God ! but that tyme constraineth me to laye
open that whiche shame rather willeth I should dissemble and
keepe secret, behold me then here, Silvio, whom thou liaste
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86 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
gotten with childe ; who, if thou bee of sttche honestie, as I
trust for all this I shall finde, then the thyng is doen without
prejudice, or any hurte to mj conscience, consideryng that by
the professed &ithe thou diddeet accoumpte me for thy wife, and
I receiyed thee for my spouse and loyall housbande, swearyng
by the Almightie Grod that no other then you have made the
conquest and triumphe of my chastitie, whereof I craye no
other witnesse then yourself and mine owne conscience.
I praie you, gentilwomen, was not this a foule oversight of
Julina, that would so precisely sweare so greate an othe thai
she was gotten with childe by one that was altogether unAir-
nishte with implementes for suche a toume ! For Grod's love,
take heede, and let this bee an example to you, when you be
with childe, how you sweare who is the &ther before you have
had good proofe and knowledge of the partie ; for men be so
subtill and full of sleight, that, God knoweth, a woman may
quickly be deceived.
But now to retume to our Silvio, who, hearyng an othe
Bwome so devinely that he had gotten a woman with childe,
was like to beleeve that it had bin true in yery deede ; but,
remembryng his owne impediment, thought it impossible that
he should committe suche an acte, and therefore, half in a
chafe, he saied. What lawe is able to restraine the foolishe in*
discretion of a woman that yeeldeth herself to her owne de-
sires! what shame is able to bridle or withdrawe her firom her
mynd and madnesse, or with what snaffell is it possible to holde
her backe from the execution of her filthinesse ! but what ab-
homination is this, that a ladie of suche a house should so
forget the greatnesse of her estate, the aliaunce whereof she is
descended, the nobilitie of her deceased housbande, and maketh
no conscience to shame and slaunder her self with suche a one
as I am, beyng so farre unfit and unseemely for her degree !
but how horrible is it to heare the name of God so de&ced,
that wee make no more accompt but for the mainteuaunce of
our mischifes, we feare no whit at all to foreweare his holy
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name, as thongh he were not in all his dealinges mooste
righteous, trae, and juste, and will not onely laie open our
leasinges to the worlde, but will likewise punishe the same
with moste sharp and bitter scourges.
Julina, not able to indure hym to prooeede any &rther in
his sermon, was alreadie surprised with a vehement greefe, be-
gan bitterly to crie out, utteryng these speeches foUowyng,
Alas ! is it possible that the soveraigne justice of God can
abide a mischiefe so greate and cursed I why male I not now 8u£Fer
death, rather than the in&mie whiche I see to wander before
myne eyes ! Oh, happie, and more then right happie, had I
bin, if inconstant fortune had not devised this treason, where
in I am surprised and caught ! Am I thus become to be in-
tangled with snares, and in the handes of hym, who, injoiyng
the spoyles of my honour, will openly deprive me of my &me,
by makyng me a common fable to al posteritie in tyme to
come! Ah, traitour, and discourtious wretche ! is this the re-
compence of the honest and firme amitie which I have borne
thee? wherein have I deserved this discourtesie! by loving
thee more then thou art able to deserve? Is it I, arrant
theefe ! is it I, uppon whom thou thinkest to worke thy mis-
chives ! doest thou think me no better worth, but that thou
maiest prodigally waste my honour at thy pleasure! didest
thou dare to adventure uppon me, having thy conscience
wounded with so deadly a treason ! Ah, unhappie, and, above
all other, most unhappie ! that have so charely preserved myne
honour, and now am made a praie to satisfie a yong man'^s lust,
that hath coveted nothyng but the spoyle of my chastitie and
good name.
Here withall her teares so gushed doune her cheekes^ that
she was not able to open her mouth to use any farther speeche.
The Duke, who stood by all this while and heard this whole
discourse, was wonderAiUy moved with compassion towardes
Juliua, knowyng that from her infancie she had ever so ho-
nourably used herself, that there was no man able to detect
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her of any misdemeanour, otherwise then beseemed a ladle of
her estate: wherefore, beyng fiilly resolved that Silvio, his
man, had committed this villanie against her, in a greate fane,
drawyng his rapier, he saied unto Silvio :
How canst thou, arrant theefe ! shewe thy self so cruell and
carelesse to suche as doe thee honour ! Hast thou so little re-
gard of suche a noble ladie, ^ humbleth herself to suche a vil-
laine as thou art, who, without any respecte either of her
renowne or noble estate, canst be content to seeke the wracke
and utter mine of her honour! But frame thyself to make
such satis&ction as she requireth, although I knowe, unworthie
wretche, that thou art not able to make her the least parte of
amendes, or I sweare by Gk)d that thou shalt not escape the
death which I will minister to thee with my owne handes, and
therefore advise thee well what thou doest.
Silvio, havyng heard this sharpe sentence, fell doune on his
knees before the Duke, cravyng for mercie, desiryng that he
might be suffered to speake with the Ladie Julina aparte, pro-
mising to satisfie her accordyng to her owne contentation.
Well, (^ the Duke) I take thy worde ; and therewithall I
advise thee that thou performe thy promis, or otherwise I pro-
test, before God, I will make thee suche an example to the
worlde, that all traitours shall tremble for feare how they doe
seeke the dishonouryng of ladies.
But now Julina had conceived so greate greefe againste Sil-
vio, that there was muche a dooe to perswade her to talkewith
hym ; but remembryng her owne case, desirous to heare what
excuse he could make, in the ende she agreed, and beyng
brought into a place severally by themselves, Silvio beganne
with a piteous voice to saie as foUoweth.
I knowe not, madame, of whom I might make complaint,
whether of you or of my self, or rather of Fortune, whiche
hath conducted and brought us both into so greate adversitie.
I see that you receive greate wrong, and I am condemned
a^ainste all right ; you in perill to abide the brute of spightAill
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 89
tongues, and I in daunger to loose the thifig that I moste de-
sire; and although I could alledge many reasons to prove
my saiynges true, yet I referre my self to the experience and
bountie of your minde. And here with all loosing his gar^
mentes doune to his stomacke, and shewed Julina his breastes
and pretie teates, surmountyng &rre the whitenesse of snowe
itself, saiyng: Loe, Madame ! behold here the partie whom you
have chalenged to bee the &ther of your childe. See, I am a
woman, the daughter of a noble Duke, who, onely for the love
of him whom you so lightly have shaken off, have forsaken my
&ther, abandoned my countreie, and, in manor as you see, am
become a servyng-man, satisfiyng myself but with the onely
sight of my Apolonius. And now, Madame, if my passion
were not vehement, and my tormentes without comparison, I
would wish that my fisdned greefes might be laughed to scome,
and my desembled paines to be rewarded with floutes : but
my love beyng pure, my travaile continuall, and my greefes
endlesse, I trust, madame, you will not onely excuse me of
crime, but also pitie my distresse, the which, I protest, I would
Btill have kept secrete, if my fortune would so have permitted.
Julina did now thinke her self to be in a worse case then
ever she was before, for now she knewe not whom to chalenge
to be the father of her child ; wherfore, when she had told the
Duke the very certaintio of the discourse which Silvio had
made unto her, she departed to her owne house, with suche
greefe and sorrowe, that she purposed never to come out of her
owne doores againe alive, to be a wonder and mocking stocke
to the worlde.
But the Duke, more amased to heare this straunge discourse
of Silvio, came unto him, whom when he had vewed with
better consideration, perceived indeede that it was Silla, the
daughter of Duke Pontus, and imbracing her in his armes, he
Baled.
Oh, the braunche of all vertue, and the flowre of curtesie it
self! pardon me, I beseche you, of all suche discourtesies as I
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have ignorantlie committed towardes you, desirii]^ jon that
without farther memorie of auncient greefes, you will accept of
me, who is more joyfnll and better contented with your pre-
sence, then if the whole worlde were at my. commaundement.
Where hath there ever been founde suche liberalitie in a lover,
whiche havyng been trained up and nourished emongest the
delicacies and banquettes of the courte, aC'Companied with
traines of many &ire and noble ladies, living in pleasure and in
the middest of delightes, would so prodigallie adventure your
self, neither fearing mishapps, nor misliking to take suche
paines as I knowe you have not been accustomed unto ! O,
liberalitie never heard of before ! O, facte that can never bee
sufficiently rewarded ! 0, true love moste pure and un&ined !
Here with all sendyng for the moste artificiall woorkmen, he
provided for her sondrie sutes of sumpteous apparell, and the '
marriage dale appoincted, whiche was celebrated with greate
triumphe through the whole citie of Constantinople, every one
prasing the noblenesse of the Duke ; but so many as did be*
hold the excellent beautie of Silla gave her the praise above all
the rest of the ladies in the troupe.
The matter seemed so wonderftdl and straunge, that the
brute was spreade throughout all the partes of Grecia, in so
muche that it came to the hearyng of Silvio ; who, as you have
heard, remained in those partes to enquire of his' sister : he
beyng the gladdest manne in the worlde, hasted to Constanti-
nople, where, comming to his sister, he was joyfuUie receved,
and moste lovynglie welcomed, and entertained of the Duke
his brother in lawe. After he had remained there twoo ot
three daies, the Duke revealed unto Silvio the whole discourse
how it happened betweene his sister and the Ladie Julina, and
how his sister was ehalenged for gettyng a woman with childe.
Silvio, blushyng with these woordes, was striken with greate
remorse to make Julina amendes, understanding her to bee a
noble ladie, and was lefte defamed to the worlde through his
dc&ult : he therefore bewraicd the whole circumstaunce to the
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TO MILITARIE PR0PE8SI0N. 91
Duke, whereof the Dake beyng verie joyfiill, immediatelie re-
paired with Silvio to the house of Julina, whom thei founde in
her chamber in greate lamentation and moumyng. To whom
the Duke saied : Take courage, madam, for beholde here a gen-
tilman that will not sticke bothe to father jour child and to
take you for his wife $ no inferionr persone, but the sonne and
heire of a noble Duke, worthie of your estate and dignitie.
Julina, seyng Silvio in place, did know very well that he
was the father of her childe, and was so ravished with joye,
that she knewe not whether she were awake, or in some dreame.
Silvio, imbracyng her in his armes, cravyng forgivenesse of all
that vras past, concluded with her the marriage daie, which was
presently accomplished with greate joye and contentation to all
parties. And thus, Silvio havyng attained a nghk wife, and
Silla, his sister, her desired housband, thei passed the residue
of their daies with suche delight as those tliat have accom-
^gJlgdJhe perfection of their felicities.
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OF NICANDER AND LUCILLA.
THE ARGUMENT OF THE THIRD HISTORIE.
LuciUa^ a yong maiden endued teith sinfftdar beautie, for want
of a convenient dowrie^ was restrained from mariyng her
beloved Nicander : in the ende^ through the greate magni-
feence of the courteous gong Prince^ Don Hercules^ the ondy
Sonne and heire of Alfonso^ Duke of Farrara^ she teas re-
leeved with the somme of 2000 crounes ; the which money beyng
received by the father of Nicander^ the mariage was per-
formed^ to the greate contentation of the noble yong Prince^
but egMcially to the twoo lovers^ Nicander and LuciUa,
In the tyme that Alfonso, firste of that name and third
duke of Ferrara, governed that state, there was in the citie of
Ferrara a gentle yonge gentlewoman, named Lucilla, borne
of a noble fisunilie, but by the frowardnesse of blinde fortune
reduced to greater povertie then her vertues did deserve;
whose beautie appeared to be suche, in the prime and flower
of her yeres, as it filled with marvaile all those that caste
their eyes upon her. Of this gentlewoman was fervently ena-
moured a gallant yong gentleman, iivhose name was Nicander,
and in like sorte borne of noble blood, and desired nothyng
more then to be joyned with her in matrimonie ; but she
beyng, as it is saied, poore, though of noble parentage, and
endued with singular vertues, the father of the yong gentle-
man disdained her : who (as for the moste parte we see old
men naturally enclined to covetise) regardyng rather the
wealth that their daughters in lawe are to bryng into their
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TO MILITARIE PROFBSSfON. 93
£EimiIie8, then either birthe, vertue, or giftes of the minde,
could in no wise be perswaded or intreated to content his
Sonne in that behalf, and to suffer hym to enjoye his loye, by
takyng her to wife ; alledgyng, that the first thing that was to
bee considered in manage was the dowrie and the woman ; for
that the vertues of the women doe not enriche the houses
wherein thei came (said he), but the qualitie of gooddes and
wealthe that thei brought with them.
The coveteous disposition of the fitther of Nicander was
cause that these twoo yong folke languished in miserable love ;
for although their flames were of equall force and heate, yet
the yong gentlewoman, beyng of a verie honest minde, nor the
yong gentleman, never thinking upon any other meanes then
honestly to enjoye his desire, without touche or breache of her
honor, and the obstinate wilAilnesse of the old man beyng
cast, as a barre or blocke, betweene the unitie and concorde of
their twoo mindes, thei lived in greate torment, eche con*
sumyng, as it were meltyng awaie with desire, for love of eche
other. Whilest their mutuall love continued in this sorte,
eche daie with lesse hope then other through the obstinacie
of th'old carle, it happened that Don Hercules, the Dukes's
onely sonne and heire, beyng then in the freshest tyme of his
youth, passing by the streate where this ^gentlewoman dwelt,
sawe her standyng in her doore, apparailed in white ; whiche
kinde of attire encreased greatlie her naturall beautie, and
consideryng somewhat curiously the comelinesse and excel-
lencie of her personage, together with her perfection of beautie,
he received with suche force into his imagination the firste Im-
pression of theim bothe, that from thence forward her lively
image semed continually to be before his eyes : by the con-
sideration whereof he grewe by degrees to conceive so vehe*
ment a desire to enjoye the singularitie which he sawe in her,
that he thought it impossible for hym to live if he did not
ottaine it.
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And ofte tymes discoursyng to hym self thereof, he would
Baie, What injurie hath fortune doen unto this &ire gentle-
woman, that as nature hath been liberall in bestowyng of
beautie upon her, meete for* any greate princes, she hath not
likewise caused her to bee borne of some kyng or mightie
prince! which if she were, I would never cease till I had
founde the meanes to gett her to bee my wife, and so enjoye
her as myne owne, with the safetie of her honour, and with
the satis&ction and contentment of my &ther.
But in the ende, although he sawe her degree to be fiure
unequall to his, to wishe, or to procure any suche matche,
yet ceased 'he not by all the meanes he could to win her good
will, and now by one devise, and now by another, to induce
her to love hym, and to yeelde to his fervent desire. But all
in vaine : for where many others woald have taken it for a
great good fortune, that suche a prince should have fiJlen in
love with theim, Lucilla, consideryng the basenesse of her
degree in respeete of the high estate of her newe lover, reputed
it to bee a greate mishappe unto her, as she that considered
that she could not nourishe or entertaine any suche love, but
with the harme and prejudice of yer honour. Besides that,
she feared least that Nicander should once perceive that this
yong prince hunted after that haunte, he would forsake her,
for feare of &rther displeasure : wherefore to avoide both in-
conveniences, whereas till then she was wont to shewe herself
sometyme at the dore, sometyme at the windowes, she now
retired herself in suche sort that she could never be seen but
on the Sondaies and holie daies, as she went to a little churche
nere adjoinyng to the house. Wherefore Nicander not a little
mervailyng, and greatly troubled in spirite, fearying that
Lucilla (waveryng as women use to doe) had forsaken hym,
and turned her affection elswhere, as one full of gelousie and
greef, for &ult of better comforte he would watche his tymes,
and foUowe her to that churche, there to feede his fancie vritha
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looke or twoo, wbiche yet amid his miserie he semed to esteeme
as a releef, without the whiche he could not live. Finally,
not beyng able to endure those tormentes that this absence
and straungenesse of his ladie caused hym to feele, he sent
unto her a convenient messenger with a letter, conteinyng
this effecte :—
The birde whiche long hath lived in pleasant feeld,
Esteemes no whit his cage of wreathed golde :
The dulced note, wharewith he pearst the skie,
For greef of mynde he can not then unfolde.
Yet lives he stiU, but better were to die ;
More worse then death, even suche a life have I.
The turtle true, of his deceased mate
Bewailes the want, he reakes no more of blisse :
The swellyng swanne doeth hardly brooke the place,
When he his beste beloved bride doeth misse.
Suche is my joye : Nioander needes must die,
Lucilla doeth his wonted presence flie.
How can I live, that double death possesse ?
How should I joye, that drenched am in thrall!
What foode maie feede, or beare a pleasaunt taste,
Where as the harte lies bathed still in gall !
If this be life, then life bee farre from me.
And welcome death, to set Nicander free !
What cause, my deare, hath thy Nicander wrought.
That makes thee shunne in whom thou shouldst delight !
What moves thy mynde to mewe thee up so close.
And keepe thee from thy beste-beloved sight !
If I offended have, then charge me when and how :
Nicander shall hym cleare, or to thy mercie bow.
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If no offence, but fonde conceipt hath taken holde,
Gondempne hym not that shewes his giltlesse hande ;
Who hether to hath never ment the thyng.
That justly might against your honour stande :
If giltie I, I aske no other grace,
Give dome of death, aAd doe my Bute defi^se.
I B^e no more, but as I doe deserve,
So shewe the fruite of ray deserved hire ;
Seeme not ao straunge unto thy faithfiill frende.
Whose absence setts my scorchyng harte on fire :
But as my love to thee no tongue can tell,
Esteeme the like of me, and so fiirewell.
Thyne owne Nicander.
The yong gentlewoman, who had fixed all her thoughtes
and settled all the coutentmentes of her harte onely upon Nican-
der, neither desiryng anythyng in the worlde so muche as to
please and content hym, felte an intoUerable perplexitie of
minde, in that she sawe hym greeve thus at her late straunge-
nesse; and yet thought it better that he should complaine, then
come by any knowledge of the love that Don Hercules did
beare her : wherefore, hidyng from hym.the matter, replied in
this sorte.
The birde whiche is restrainde
Of former hartes delighte,
I must confess, twixt life and death,
Doeth alwaie combate fight.
So doeth the harte, compelled
By heste of parentes will,
Obaye for feare ; yet forst by love,
Continues constant still.
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 97
No absence by consent.
My deare Nioander, I
Haye wrought to worke thy wo, from thee,
Like Grossed &Ise, to flie.
Ne shall I live to lothe
What roaie content thy minde :
Hap life or death, as true as Steele
Thou shalt Lucilla finde.
Thy eares shall never heare.
Nor eyes shall never see,
That any wight shall reape the fruite
Whiche planted was for thee.
Then frame thyself, my deare,
To take, against thy will,
Our absence in good part, till tyme
Male better happe frilfill.
And there withall receive
This pledge to cure thy paine :
My harte is thyne, preserve it well.
Till we twoo meete againe.
Ever thyne, Lucilla.
This sweete aunswere mitigated not a little the moode of
the yong gentleman, and so he framed himself the best he could
to toUerate the absence of his Lucilla. On the other side, Don
Hercules, who in like manor founde hymself deprived of the sight
of that yong ladie, whom he loved extremely, was veiy muche
discontented, and perceivyng that neither messages, nor &ire
offers, with large gifles sent unto her, whereof never any were
accepted, could once move her to shewe herself courteous unto
hym of so muche as a looke, and consideryng the povertie
H
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wherein her mouther lived now in her latter yeres, beganne to
imagine that it would be muche easier for him, by offeryng her
liberally where withall to marrie her daughter, to perswade
her to yeeld her into his hiuxdes, then to winne the yong
gentlewoman to his desires.
Wherefore, havyng sent a fitt persone to Lucilla'*8 mother, to
let her understande, that if she would be content that the
yong Prince might enjoye her daughter, he would give her
suche a dowrie, in recompence of his pleasure, that no gentle-
man of what degree soever should for her povertie refuse to
take her to wife : whereas, if she refused that good offer, she
should therby be constrained, through necessitie, either to be-
stowe her upon some artificer, or crafles man ^ or, if she
would needes marrie her to a gentleman, she must give her to
some suche as was so poore, as that she should live all the
dales of her life in want and miserie : the whiche in effect
would be nothyng els but. to bee cruell towardes her owne
daughter, in barring tl^at. good hap whiche he did offer, besides
the favour that he should be able to shewe, in fiirtheiyng her
manage, to bothe their endlesse comfortes. The mother, beyng
often soUicited, and summoned to this effecte, and on the one
side punished with povertie, and on the other charged with
yeres, bothe whiche pressed her verie muche, after divers dis-
courses made to and fro with her self, lastly she saied: And
where to ought I to have regarde, but to the wealthe and pro-
fite of my daughter, whiche bothe she shall reape aboundauntly,
if, by the givyng herself unto this yong Prince, he doeth be-
stowe upon her that dowrie whiche he hath promised ; and
although, in doyng thereof^ there be some touch and spotte to
my daughter's honour and myne, yet shall it bee so recom-
pensed with the benefite of her dowrie, that the profite will be
greater then the harme. And if therein be any offence, the
blame thereof is not to be imputed unto me, but unto my
evill fortune, that hath brought me into this miserable neces-
sitie. Besides, that my daughter beyng now alreadie eightene
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yeres of age, and of moste singular beantie, and myself alreadie
so olde, that (torn daie to daie I male looke to goe to my grave,
I might happen to dye, and leave her without any govemement
or oversight, and she, stirred with those appetites where to
yonge folkes are enclined, through the frailtie of her sexe, and
the povertie wherein I shall leave her, be brought to yeelde
her self into the handes of some suche one as would not have
due regard unto her calljmg, but bring her unto the spoile.
And after these and suche like discourses, sondrie times had
with herself, finally she sent hym worde, that if it would please
hym, she would gladly speake with hym herself: whiche he
havyng understoode, caused her to be brought one evenyng
into a place where thei twoo alone might talke, and there,
havyng given her oportnnitie to sale what she would, thus she
Sir, the weapons wherewith necessitie and my povertie hath
assaulted me, have been so sharpe and so pearcyng, that,
although I have endevoured, all the waies I could devise, to re-
sist and defaide myself firom them, yet in thende I have been
forced to yeeld, as vanquished and overcome, and constrained
to do that with my daughter, as to thinke of it onely I am so
abashed, that I dare not for shame lifte up myne eyes to be-
holde you. But forasmuche as no other thyng hath perswaded
me thereunto, but the desire whiche I have to get her a dowrie
wherewith I maie afterward bestowe her honestly, I beseche
you to be content to extende your liberalitie in suche sort, as
sAie maie have that large dowrie which it hath pleased you to
promise me.
Thereof I assure you, (saied the Prince) and larger too then
hath been spoken of to you, besides : and, also, I will minister
suche releefe unto you for your owne state, that you shall have
cause to give me thankes for the same.
Then replied the olde gentlewoman, and saied : Since that
you perceive, sir, that no desire to make marchaundize of my
daughter, but extreame povertie, whereunto my froward for-
H 2
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100 RICHE BIS FAREWELL
tune hath brought me, doeth drive me to this exigent, I doe
likewise besech you, that jou will come unto my daughter at
suche tyme as I shall devise moste convenient, with as mnche
regard unto her credite as male be possible. I will therein be
ruled wholie by you, answered the yong Prince ; and looke in
what sorte you will appoint me to come, so shall it be.
The first thyng, then, sir, ((^ she) that I thinke requisite,
is that you come alone, without any companie, when I shall
assigne you the tyme, so that the thyng rest secret betweene
you and me and my daughter, and no occasion be given to
publishe it, whereby my daughter might leese her good name.
This courteous yong Prince was there withall well content,
and that beyng concluded and agreed upon, she saied further :
I knowe, sir, the honestie of my daughter to bee suche, that
if I should open my lippes unto her of any suche matter, she
would not onely rejecte any perswasion that I might use unto
her, but also ridde her self out of my house. And, therefore,
leaste that should happen, and to the ende that you maie have
your desire, and she have a dowrie, wherewith she maie be
maried, if not with all the honour that the state and callyng
wherein she was borne doeth require, yet with the leaste harme
that maie be possible, since my hard happe is suche, and that
my povertie doeth so constraine me, I have determined to doe
herein as you shall heare. My daughter useth to lye in a lowe
chamber, neare unto the streate doore ot my house, in the
whiche chamber I my self in like sorte am wont to lye, when-
soever we two remaine alone in the house, as often tymes we
doe ; and commonly I, rising early in the mornyng about such
businesse as I have, doe leave my daughter in bed, where she
slepeth some tymes two howres or three after that I am gone.
To morowe mornyng, therefore, will I rise and leave her alone
in thai chamber, and will set open the streate doore, so as you
shall not neede but to pushe at it, and the chamber dore like-
wise. You shall come very early, as we have concluded, all
alone, and entryng into the chamber, there shall you finde my
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slaughter, and abide with her as long as it shall please yourself.
Bnt I doe once againe, sir, beseche you, as I have doen before,
that the matter maie passe secrete, and not to bee imparted to
any other then to us three, to the ende, that where I suffer
myself to be led through necessitie to doe that whiche I doe,
'and with an entent to place my daughter in manage, by the
meane of that dowrie whiche you doe give her, the case beyng
knowne, we reape not etemall shame and in&mie.
At this deyise, the yong Prince paused a while, thinking it
straunge that he should goe to a yon^ maide, that not onely
was unmllyng, but also not so muche as made privie of his
commyng, did what he could to refiise that meane, and to per*
swade the mother to devise some better. But at the last,
seyng none other could be founde more fitte for the purpose,
beyng pricked forwarde with the vehemencie of that appetite
whiche love had stirred up in him, consideryng himself to be a
Prince, and a gallant yong gentilman, and that he should be
alone with his love, thought that it should not be harde for hy m
to Wynne her to his wiU ; and so [was] content to doe as the
olde gentilwoman had devised. And beyn^ parted cache from
other, he began to attende the commyng of the nexte momyng,
and all that night, which seemed longer unto him then a hole
yeare, he laie with his thoughtes and imaginations in the armes
of his Lucilla. As soon as the daie began to peepe, Don Her-
cules, all alone, as he had promised to the mother, went to the
house of his ladie, and findyng the doores open, accordyng to
promise, entered into the chamber wherein Lucilla laie, and
havyng barred the doore, i^proehed neere the bedde wherein
she laie.
It was in the moneth of Julie, which season in that countrie
is extreme hotte, by reason whereof Lucilla, toumblyng from
one side of the bedde unto the other, had rolled of all the
clothes wherewith she had been covered, so as she had lefte
herself all naked ; and in that sorte he found her, with coralles
about her necke and her armes, whiche with the difference of
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their ruddie couler did sette out and beautifie greatly the ex-
cellent fairenesse of her white bodie. She laie a depe upon
her backe, with her handes cast over her hedde (as for the
moste parte jong women are wont to dooe) so that forthwith
the yong Prince discovered her from toppe to toe : and eon-
sideryng with a greedie eye all her whole bodie, not ondy he
commended her to hymself so naked, as he had dooen whitest
she was apparailed, but also did so singolarlie well like her in
that state, that he thought he saw rather some divine tiling,
or some goddesse come doune from heaven, to heape hym with
happinesse, then a mortall creature ; and beganne to allowe
and commende his owne judgemente, in that he had placed his
love uppon so excellente and rare a peece. And therewith
bowying doune hymself to give her a kisse, and so to awaken
her, beholde she opened her eyes, whiche right well resembled
twoo bixe shinyng starres : and where she was used to see
none other other bodie in that chamber but her mother when
she waked, now seyng this young Prince standyng thus over
her, and findyng herself in that sorte all naked, she gave a
greate skritche, and saied —
*' Out, alas ! sir, (for she knewe hym straight waie), what
evill happe hath brought you hither at this tyme V and in so
saiyng, as one wonderfullie ashamed to bee scene in that
plight, she wrapped about her one of the sheetes, and began
with a loude voice to call her mother.
But perceiving that her mother would not heare, and that
she called in vaine, she began to imagine that she was con-
sentyng unto his commyng thither, and lamentyng with teares
that trickled doune her cheekes, like droppes of dewe hanging
uppon roses in a Maie morning, she said, '' Alas ! now I see
my mother also hath betrayed me.^ Whiche thyng the
young Prince understandyng, saied unto her : ^^ Trouble not
yourself, nor greeve not (&ir damsell) at my commyng hether,
but rather rejoyce that your singuler beautie hath so enflamed
me, as one in a maner forgettyng my estate have beene con-
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tented to come hether all aloBe, as a private manne, to enjoye
your Gompanie, if it will please you to accepte my good will 5
whiche though a thousande other dames of this citie dooe
wiflhe, and would bee glad of, yet hare I deemed none of them
worthie thereof but yourself. And seeyng your mother, who
hath that power over you, that in reason she ought to have
over her childe, and knoweth beste what is for your good and
eommoditie, doeth consent hereunto, you (in my judgement)
are not but to shewe yourself in like sorte content ; for in
givyng yourself to me, you doe not abase or caste yourself
away upon any vilde persone, but shewe yourself courteous
unto a Prince, whom your beautie hath made thrall, and in
whom you shall finde nothyng but gratefiill courtesie, to your
benefite and satisfaction.^^
And with these, and other like wordes, stretched forthe his
hande towarde her breastes, that were like two little balles of
ivorie, and drawing nere here to kisse her, she, with her
hande thrustyng hym modestly back, saied thus—" Sir, I
besecfae you, by the princely nobilitie that is in you, and
by that love which you say you beare me, that it wil please
you not to force me, or to seeke at my hands anything against
my will ; and that since my mother, who ought to have beene
the cheef defender of mine honestie, hath abandoned and for-
saken me, you will yet of your courtesie vouchsafe to give me
the heaxyng of a fewe wordes, whiche the special! care I have
of mine honour doeth force me to expresse/^
The courteous yong Prince, at this request, staid hymself
proceadyng any fiirther ; and not beeyng desirous to have her,
but with her owne good will, stoode still to heare what it was
that Lucilla would sale unto hym, yet ever hoping with faire
meanes to winne her at the laste, and she wepyng verie ten-
derly, beganne to say unto him in this sorte.
** I am verie sorie, moste noble Prince (% she), that fortune
hath been so muche myne enemie, that she hath made me a
woman farre unworthie and unmeete for you ; for that you.
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EICHE HIS FAREWELL
beyng so great a Prince as you are, and I so meane a gentle-
woman, I see so greate a space and distannoe between your
high estate and my lowe degree, that betweene us there can
be no portion, or convenient equalitie* For the whiche caliae
(sir) I, consideryng myne owne estate, and not mindyng to
exceade my callyng, have a good while since chosen Nicander
to be my lover, who in respect of his bloud, though he bee
richer then I, is no whitte nor more noblie borne then myself
am. By reason of whiche conformitie of bloud and birthe, our
love is likewise growne to be equall, and equall the desire in
us bothe, he to have me to his wife, and I to have hym for
my housbande : but the coveteousnesse (let it be lawfull for
me to saie so) of his father is suche, that although he knoweth
me to be a gentilwoman borne, yet because I am not of that
wealth, as to bryng him so greate a dowrie as his riches per-
chaunce require, he despiseth me, and will not yeeld by any
perswasion his good, will and consent, that wee maie matche
together aocordyng to our desire. Neverthelesse (sir) I, con-
sideryng how fervently this yong gentleman loveth me, and
that alreadie we are in mynd united and knitte together, with
consent, fikith and love, doe yet believe, assuredly, that God,
of his speciale goodnesse and jBE^vour, will graunt us his assured
grace, that we maie one dale bee joyned together in the holie
state of matrimonie. Which thyng, if it should happen and
come to passe, I not havyng any thyng els to bryng with me
for my dowrie but my virginitie, am determined and fiilly
resolved (by Qod^B help) to give it unto hym, as pure and
unspotted as I brought it from my mother'^s wombe : and if
my unhappie chaunce and fortune be such, as that I can not
have Nicander to my housbande, I have concluded with myself
(by the grace of God) never to couple my self to any man
living, but to give and vowe me wholie unto Almightie Gt)d,
and in his service to spende my daies a virgme, in continuall
fastyng and praier. Therefore (moste excellent Prince) if
honestie, if justice, if religion, have that power and force in
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your noble mynde, whiche in reason they ought to have, I
doe beseche you, and for that love'^s sake that you saie you
beare me, that you will preserve and kepe unstained my ho-
nestie, and that it would please you, with the sounde discourse
of reason, to temper that fervent appetite whiche hath brought
you hether, to the prejudice and breache of my honestie and
credit. In doyng whereof you shall shewe yourself to be, in
deede, that noble Prince, that the highnesse of your birthe
and bloud doeth promise you should be ; whereas, if you should
force and violate me, a virgine and a weake maid without
defence, there could thereof ensue nought else to me but dis-
honor and reproche, and withall small praise would it be unto
your ezcellencie, when it shall be said that you had overcome
a simple damsel.^ And here, being interrupted with sobbes
and teares, excedyng for the greefe of her minde, casting
doune her eyes for shame and sorowe, she helde her peace,
attending what her hap, and the goodnesse of the Prince,
should dispose of her, in whose courtesie she had reposed all
her hope and confidence.
This yong Prince, understanding the honest desire of
Lucilla, first. praised her greatly to hymself for the chastnes
of her minde, and beyng moved with the magnanimitie of his
noble minde, though he were pricked with the sharpest darte
of the blind boyes quiver, and that his ardent appetite did still
stirre hym to the accomplishment of his desire, yet con-
quering himself with reason, he turned all the love whiche
erst he bare unto this young ladie into compassion of her
estate, and thus he saied unto her. '^ The vertue and ho-
nestie of thy mynde, &ire damsell, doe require that I should
make no lesse accompt of thine honour, then if I were come
hether to no other entent then to defende it a^inst any other
that should goe aboute to staine or spot it: therefore, not
onely thou needest not to feare any violence at my handes,
but also maiest hope that I will not faile to further this thy
chast purpose, so that thou maiest enjoy that yong gentleman
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106 RIOHE HIS FA&EWELL
whiche thou hast chosen for thy houshand, with all the honoar
and satis&ction that appertaineth to the honestie of thy
minde ; and, therefore, since nothyng els doeth let thee from
the gettyng of him but the poyertie of thy state, wherennto th j-
frowarde fortune hath unworthily brought thee, I will myself
supplie in that behalf that wherein she hath failed, and cor-
recte with my liberalitie the injurie that she hath doen thee.^
And havyng so said, he hymself opened the doore and called
her mother, who had gotten herself into a chamber, and
there sate bewailyng the miserie of her state, whereby she
had been driven in suche sorte to prepare a dowrie for her
daughter.
She beyng come, he saied unto her : '^ Gentlewoman, if erst
I came hether as a lover unto your daughter, now I will de-
parte and leave her as if I were her brother, leavyng her
honour no lesse safe and untouched then I founde it, for so
deserveth her vertue that I should deale with her* And for-
asmuch as I perceive she is in love with a yong gentleman
whom I well knowe, and is in my opinion very worthie of it,
and that he in like sorte is in love with her, and that onely
the want of a reasonable dowrie is the cause, that she can not
become his wife as she desireth, I am content to bestowe
upon her, for her contentment, that summe for her dowrie
whiche I had purposed to have given her in recompence of
my contentation, to the ende that this her honest desire maie
have that effecte, whiche is moste convenient to so greate and
well grounded an affection, and that her greate honestie and
vertue doe deserve. Therefore sonde you this daie unto my
treasorer, and he shall forthwith disburse unto you 2000
pounde, which shalbe the dowrie of this your gentle and
honest daughter/^
And tumyng hym self towarde the yong gentlewoman, he
said unto her : '' And as for you, faire damsell (% he), I crave
nothyng els now at your handes, but that you keepe this &ith
of yours, wherewith you are lincked unto your lover, inviolate
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 107
and unapotted, eyen as I doe leave you inviolate and unspotted
in your motber^s handes.*^^ How greate the joye of the mo-
ther was when she sawe the honestie of her daughter (as it
were) resaved out of this yong princes handes by the force of
her owne vertue, maie better be imagined then expressed with
wordes ; but, above all joyes, the joye of Lucilla exceded all
other, when she understoode that, through the magnificence
and liberalitie of the noble yong Prince, she was to have her
Nicander for her housbande.
And toumyng her eyes, fall of modestie, towardes him she
saied : ^' I could not (sir) have had any more certaine and in-
fidlible token of your love towarde me, then that whiche now
of your greate courtesie and bountie you have shewed me ;
whiche I acknowledge to bee so greate, that I am bounde to
yeeld your ezcellencie my most humble and infinite thankes.
But forasmuche as wordes do fiule me wherewith I might doe
it, I must beseche you that it maie reste in your discrete
judgement to consider how muche I confesse myself to bee
your debtor, when woordes dooe &ile me, to yeeld you, at the
least, thankes for so greate a benefite. This onely will I saie
unto your grace, that the remembraunce of so noble an acte
shall never weare out of my minde ; and that I will, so long
as I live, pniie unto Almightie Gt)d so to preserve and main-
taine your noble persone, as you of your goodnesse have saved
mine honestie, and so to graunt you the accomplishement of
all your noble desires, as you have offered me to make me
content of mine, by havying my Nicander to bee my hous-
bande : unto whom, as well because I have ever been so dis-
posed, as for that it hath pleased your excellencie to com-
maunde me, I will alwaies keepe sounde and unstained that
fiuthe, whiehe through your courtesie shall joyne me to him
in mariage.*"
The damsell seemed unto the Prince at that instaunt to bee
in a manor greater then she was in deede, when she once
stoode assured of the savegarde of her honestie ; and delight-
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108 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
mg no lease in the excellencie of her minde, then he had be-
fore doen in the beautie of her bodie, he departed from her.
And havyng caused the two thousande pounde to be paied
unto her mother, as he had promised, he went unto the Duke,
his father, and tolde hym all that had passed betweene Ludlla
and hjm : the maner whereof liked so well the Duke, that he
concluded with hymself that all the vertues, that ever had been
before that tyme in his progenitours, would bee moste excel-
lently joyned in hym.
This yong Prince required his &ther to sonde for Nican-
der'^s &ther, and to perswade hym to agree that his soonne
might matche with Lucilla, since that she was provided and
fiimished with so reasonable a dowrie ; which thyng the Duke
did with a very good will, for that he knewe that if his sonne
should have taken in hande to perswade the old manne to any
suche matter, it might have stirred some suspition in his head
why the Prince should so dooe. And havyng sent for hym
accordyngly, when he was come, the Duke, after some &miliar
speeches of course and courtesie, tolde hym he was desirous
that his soonne Nicander should take Lucilla to be his wife,
who as well for her birthe, as for the rare giftes of her mynde
(as he had learned), was worthie to be wife to any greate
lorde. The old gentleman aunswered, that although she had
those vertues and giftes which he spake of, and were verie well
borne, yet had she not any dowrie convenient, or agreeable to
his wealthe, whereby she might deserve to bee matched with
his Sonne, " Yes, Marie,*" said the Duke, ** for I myself,
because I would not have so greate vertue as is in her to bee
oppressed by fortune'*s spight, have bestowed upon her twoo
thousande pounde to serve for her dowrie.
The old manne, hearyng of suche a somme, was very wel
content to dooe as the Duke would have hym, and. the nexte
daie, through the liberalitie of the Prince, the manage was
concluded and knitte up, which had so long been delaied and
hindered by the coveteousnesse of the old manne, and the
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TO HIUTARIE PROFESSION. 109
povertie of Lucilla, with the infinite joje and contentment of
the twoo yonng lovers, who had long wished and desired that
happie daie.
What vertue, or what continence of Alexander, or of Scipio,
maie be compared to this ! Scipio abstained &om the yong
gentlewoman whiche was presented unto hym in Spaine,
Alexander from Darius his daughter ; but it was verie easie
for either of theim so to dooe, as well because thei were in the
fiirie of warre, and the soundes of drummes and trumpettes,
as for that those women were of a strange nation, and ene-
mies unto them, and never before that tyme seen of any of
them, muche lesse desired : whereas this yonge Prince, who
even bathyng as it were in blisse, livyng at his ease and
pleasure, in the flower of his youthe, and in the heate of his
amorous flames, had a yong gentlewoman, of a rare beautie,
not of straunge nation, or any otherwise to be hated, but ex-
tremely beloved, in his handes, and voluntarily yeelded and
committed unto hym by her owne mother ; and yet not onely
tempered hymself, and refrained to defile her chast and honest
bodie, but also bestowed liberally her dowrie uppon her, to the
ende that an other might enjoye her, and bee her housbande,
whom she had chosen to love and like of, did, without all
question, fiirre exceade all hnmaine courtesie in so noble and
so vertuous an acte. Whereby he made apparent, that al-
though he were pricked forward with the sharpe spurres of
love and his sensuall appetite, yet was he of that highnesse of
courage, and of that constancie of minde, that he was able not
onely to conquer him self, but also to subdue the forces of
love, whereunto bothe mortall mennes valour doeth commonly
yeeld, and the very power of the goddes themselves (if we
shall beleeve the fables of the auncient writers) hath shewed
itself often tymes inferiour.
And thus this honeste damsell Lucilla, by the meanes of
her chastitie, the vertue and excellencie whereof did winne
and maister the harte of that yonge Prince, muche more then
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110 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
the perfection of her bodily beautie had dooen before, obtained
the thyng she moste desired and joyed in, vhiche was to have
Nicander to her housebande : with whom she lived ever after
in greate contentment and happinesse, still noarishyng with
kinde and lovyng demeanour, eche to other, that fervent
affection which, from their first acquaintance, had taken foil
possession of bothe their liberties.
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TO MILITABIE PROFESSION. Ill
OF FINEO AND FIAMMA.
THE ARGUMENT OP THE HH HISTORIE.
The harde adneniure of Fineo with his beloved Fiamma^ whoj
after gondrie eonjlietes offortune^ vsere in the ende solde as
daws to the Kyng of Tunise ; tcho^ seying their perfecte love^
caused them to be maried^ and after honouryng theim with
sondrie presentee^ sent them home to Satona^ where by their
parentes andfreendes tihei were joyfully received.
In Genova, one of the fiurest and moste £Eunous cities of
Italie, there was sometyme a yong gentlewoman of excellent
beautie, called Fiamma, that was in love with a yong gentle-
man of Savona (a citie subjecte unto the state of Geneva, and
distaonte from thence aboute thirtie miles) whose name was
Fineo; and their love beeyng mutuall, and tendyng to no
other ende then to be linked and joyned together by mar-
riage, thei would not long have staled to bryng their honest
desires to a good ende and conclusion, had not the &ther of
the gentlewoman refiised his consente, and shewed hymself
contrary to this their love and good will ; for he misliking
with the matche, either for that he purposed to place her
better, or because he would not have her married to any man
that should carry her out of Genova, did ofte tymes chide
and reprehende his daughter, for castyng her affection nppon
that yong gentleman, that was a straunger unto theim, and in
effecte but a subjecte, though he were bothe of blood and
richesse equall unto them.
But for all that the father could doe, or any other of her
firendes, the fire whiche love had kindled in this yong couples
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breastes slaked no whit at all, but still encreased, bothe
hopyng in the ende to winne her freendes good will, and at-
taine the fraites of their desired love. This yong damsell had
to her brother a stout and valiant yong gentleman, who being
offended greatly that Fineo should continue his love towarde
his sister, and followe the pursute of that whiche he knewe
well enough her freendes were unwillyng to yeeld unto, had
caused hym to bee spoken unto, and to be warned that he
should desiste and leave to sollicite her ; but he for all that
ceased not, but continued his suite. Wherfore this brother of
hers determined to make him leave of by foi*ce and dint of
sworde ; for although there were at that time a very straight
lawe in the citie that no manne should weare his sworde, and
paine of death appointed for him that should hurte any man
with any weapon, yet bothe these gentlemen weare their
swordes, for that thei bothe had charge of soldiers, that laye
then in garrison for defence of the citie.
And havyng one daie mette Fineo in the streate alone, and
hymself beyng very well accompanied with other gentlemen,
he beganne to give hym evill language ; and beeyng a gentle-
man of greate courage, and, though he were a stranger there,
not beyng able to endure to be injured in words, saied to him
boldely and roundely againe, that if thei twod were alone he
durst not use those speeches unto hym 5 for he would well give
hym to understande that he was no man to take wrong at his
handes, and that tyme and occasion would serve one daie (he
doubted not), to make hym knowe that he had offended one
that would beare no coales. Whereuppon his adversarie,
havyng drawne forthe his Sworde, whilest he was yet speak-
yng, ran feercely upon hym, thmkyng to have striken hym ;
but Fineo, also a verie lustie gentleman, and quicke of eye,
and nimble of hande, drewe out his sworde, and not onely
warded the blowe of his encmie, but also hurte hym, though
but lightly, in the hande. Forthwith thei that were with the
yong gantlewoman's brother environed hym, and tooke hym
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prisoner^ and delivered hym into the handes of the magis-
trate, or cheef officer of the citie. And the penaltie being
^suche, as is before mentioned, for hurtyng of any man within
the citie, and especially a gentleman, Fineo was condemned to
lose his heade.
Neverthelesse, he beyng yerie well freended, and supported by
many principall gentlemen of the citie, thei laboured so muche
for hym, that thei obteined that he should not be behedded,
but that his penaltie should bee converted unto an other pu-
nishement, verie little better, if it were no worse 5 for, havyng
boande hym &ste hande and foote, thei laied hym in a small
boate, and in verie stormie weather set him in the maine sea,
and there left him to the rule and government of fortune, and
to the disposition of God, and mercie of the waves and windes.
The boate was a long while beaten and tossed by the rage and
Airie of the seas, and poore Fineo, under diverse and sondrie
stormes and shapes, had before his eyes a thousande tymes
the presence of death ; yet in that fearfuU and mortall perill
he ceased not to call upon the name of his deare Fiamma, and
in that extremitie and imminent daunger did he yet in manor
glorifie hym self and thinke hymself happie, that he should
ende his life for the love of his ladie.
Whiles he was thus tossed and tormented, still lookyng for
none other but present death', the tempest began to cease, and
the storme and rage of seas to bee asswaged, when, loe ! he
discovered a fregate of Moores that went a reaving, and were
then newe gone abrode, to spie whether the storme, which was
then past, had not happely prepared for theim some occasion
of gaine and bootie.
These Moores had no sooner discovered this little boate thus
fleetyng at al], adventures, but hopyng to finde therein some
prey for their profite, thei made towarde it, and havyng at
the boardyng thereof founde Fineo bounde hande and foote,
and perceivyng by his countenaunce and apparell that he was
no very base person, thei untied him, and sette hym in their
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iregate as a slave to rowe, untill suche tyme as thei should
determine further what to doe with hym : who, although that
servitude and captivitie were greevous unto hym, jet const-
deryng with hymself that it was better for hym to be in the
power of men, though thei were infidels, then in the power of
seas and windes, he comforted hymself that yet, if he lived, he
might still hope, through the goodnesse of God, one daie to be
so happie as to enjoye his ladie and love : he framed hym self
to beare with pacient minde that heavie yoke of his captivitie.
Fiamma havjmg understoode the unfortunate accidente hap-
pened to her lover, beleeving certainly that he was dead, and
that she should never see hym againe, wherefbra she hoBelf
resolvjoig that she would no longer live, gave herself to devise
what kinde of death she were best to chuse ; and in doubt
thereof she passed some fewe daies, dissemblyng still in the
house her sorowe and greef with a merie and chearfull coun-
tenance, as though she had cleane forgotten, and not once
remembred her lover, Fineo : but in the ende, after long de-
batyng with herself, she resolved to dye the same kinde of
death, and to make that ende whiche she imagined Fineo
had doen.
There was an other gentleman of the oitie, who was no lesse
enamoured of this gentlewoman than Fineo was, who sup-
posyng that now, since she sawe there was no remedie for her
to recover her lover, whom bothe she and all the citie ac-
compted certainly to be dedde, he might perchaunce, by sute,
obtaine her good will, and so procure her to bee his wife, with
the consente of her freendes : and therefore, not long after the
mischaunce of Fineo, he caused her father to bee dealt withall
for the bestowyng of his daughter upon hym ; and the fii^er
beyng willing enough to agree thereunto, and having ques-
tioned with his daughter thereupon, and findyng her to give
sober and obedient answere with fewe wordes, presu}q>osyng
that she was willyng to doe as he would have her, made pro-
mise of her unto this yong gentleman, and agreed uppon the
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dowrie, and all other oircumstaunces necessarie for tho cotiplyng
of twoo Buche persones together.
The night that went before the daie appoinoted for their
marriage, Fiamma, calljng unto her a Moore that was slaye
in her father^s house, and had the keepjng of a small boate of
the gentleman^ wherein, when he liste to disport hym self, he
was wont to take the aire upon the sea in tyme of &ire weather,
and to goe to their houses of pleasure, wherof that coaste is
Terie plentifull, and theim of exceadyng beautie: whiche
Moore had lived so many yeres in that tbiraldome, that he was
now become so olde as she thought, she needed not to feare
any force or yiolence at his hand^s, she beganne to perswade
hym to put on a desire to deliyer hymself out of captivitie, so
as he might live the reste of his yeares in libertie and at his
ease. Whereunto, findyng hym readie and willyng, if the
meanes or occasion were oJEFered him, she gave hym in hand a
good round somme of money, which she had laied together, and
made him promise to carrie her into the sea in the boate,
whereof he had the custodie, and afterwardes to doe that, what-
soever it were, that she should commaunde.
This wicked and Ihithlesse Moore, seyng hymself not onely to
purchase his libertie, but also make so greate a gaine of readie
money, that he was not like at any tyme after to live in wante
or povertie, was [not] onely thankefoU in his mynde towarde
iheyonge g^tlewoman, but straight waie beganne to purpose
and to devise to make a greater gaine of her owne persone, by
carriyng her unto the Kyng of Tunise, and sellyng of her unto
hym at a verie high prise ; and with this entention, the mis-
cheevous knave assured her that he would dooe in all poinctes
as she would have hym. Wherefore, when all the reste of the
house were in their firste sleape, the damsell, with this wretched
Moore, went out of her father^s house, and ^at her into the
boate, and the weather beyng verie &ire, the knave began to
rowe and make saile along the coast, towarde Ligomo, from
whiche, by breake of the daie, they were not verie &rre. When
i2
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116 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
this yong gentlewoman sawe that she was now so far from
home, that she needed not to feare to bee driven backe againe
to Genova, she willed the Moore to rowe to the shore, and to
lande himself, and then to shove of the boate againe ; for that
her determination was so to dye, swallowed up with the waves
of the sea, as she supposed her Fineo to have been. But the
wicked knave, who had a farther fetche in his bed, and
thoughtes farre diflfered from the gentlewoman^s, made her be-
leeve that thei were yet nere unto Genova, and advised her to
bee content, that thei might goe somewhat &rther, to the ende
that her father, if he sent after them, might not overtake
them.
Neverthelesse, she havyng often tymes urged hym to doe as
she erste bad hym, and he still protracted the tyme, and shift-
ing her offe with one tale or an other, she began to suspect his
drift. The momyng, therefore, beyng well spent, she made as
though sbe would have looked over the boate side into the
water, or have washed her handes in the sea, and on the
sodaine would have caste herself over boarde ; but the craftie
Moore, suspectyng her entent, caught holde of her aboute the
middle, and not onely held her from throwyng herself into the
sea, but also bounde her faste hande and foote : and whereas
she of her cpurtesie had bothe set hym at libertie, and libe-
rallie bestowed good store of wealth upon hym, he, as a trea-
cherous infidell, bereved her of her libertie, makyng her an
unfortunate slave under his disposition, and beyng moved with
a greedie, covetous mynde, thought that too little whiche she
had given him, and therefore determined, as is afore saied, to
sell her persone, and to encrease his goodes by that meanes.
The desolate damsell, when she sawe herself so used by
that viUaine, full of woe and greef, ceased not to rebuke the
vilde caitive, that little regarded her speeches, the breache of
his faithe and promise, and blamyng her self for trustyng of
hym, and then repented, when it was too late, that she had
not obeyed her father, and followed the advise of her frendes,
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 117
she began to curse her destinie^ and her cruell fortune, and to
crie out uppon the heavens, that had made her become the un-
forcunatest yong woman that ever loved man. And whilest
she was thus lamentyng her hard happe, and the Moore as &8te
as he could with his owres labouryng to speede his voiage, a
little foiste, or galley of Moores, that wente prollyiig up and
doune the coaste, havyng espied the small boate, drewe nere
imto it, and boorded it. And havyng founde this yong gentle-
woman, beeyng bounde therein, thei would have taken her
awaie ; but the old knave offeryng to resist them, and to keepe
her out of their handes, thei tooke her awaie from hym per-
force, and woundyng hym very sore, and asked of her in
their language from whence she came, and what she was ! But
she, not understandyng theim, could make them no aunswere,
but onely, with teares and wepyng, make them to understande
that she was a wofuU and unfortunate damsell : but the olde
Moore, feelyng hym self wounded to death, before he died
tolde theim bothe of what place and parentage she was, and
laied before them, by plaine reason, how greate a bootie thei
might accoumpte thei had made that momyng, if thei did carrie
her unto the Kyng of Tunise (as he had thought to have doen)
and sell her unto hym. Hee beeyng dedde, thei dispoiled
hym, and tooke from hym all that whiche Fiamma had given ;
and so he, havyng thought by treacherie and breakyng of his
&ithe to make greate gaine, loste bothe his life and all that
whiche he had gotten of the unadvised, and evill counselled
yong gentlewoman : and, havyng placed her in their foist, and
comforted her aswell as thei could, thei tooke their waie straight
toward Tunise.
It fortuned that the other fregate of Moores, that had founde
and taken Fineo, (as is alreadie saied before) met with this other
foiste, or galleie, wherein Fiamma was, and assaulted it ; and
havyng fought together a good while, (for that the other resisted,
and defended themselves stoutly) in fine, the fregate wherein
Finio was (who in the encounter and dury ng the fight had shewed
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118 RIGHE HIS FAREWELL
greate valour emoiig the reste) oyercame the other, aod tooke
from them all that thei had : so that Fiamma and Fineo wore
bothe now together, in the compaase of one smal vessell. And
although in that extremitie of bothe their eyill fortnnee, it was
a greate comfort for theae twoo lovers to see one the other, and
that bothe longed and desired extremely to embrace eche other,
and to tell the one to the other their accidentes and unfortu-
nate adventures, neverthelesse, Bineo made signes to Fiamm*
that in nowise she should take knowledge or acquaintaunce of
hym; and accordyngly she dissembled and made no shewe,
but as one had never seen hym.
Fineo, for the valour and courage whiche he had shewed in.
the battaile, was delivered of his chaines, and muche made of
emong the Moores, untill suche tyme as thei had conducted
bothe hym and her (as thei did verie shortly after) unto the.
Eyng of Tunise; who havyng seen and considered Fineo,
and understoode by the pirates that his comelie personage was
accompanied with greate valour, bought him and tooke hym.
to his service, in good place nere his owne persone. And beyng
moved with the beautie of the yong gentilwoman, bargained*
for her likewise for a greate somme of money, and caused her
to be put in the cube, whiche is a place where he keepeth his
concubines (as the Turke doeth in his seraglio) emong a greate
many of other women, and esteemed her verie much for that
the rovers (who had learned of those other that thei overcame
all that whiche the olde Moore had declared unto them of her
callyng and condition) did assure him that she was a gentle-
woman, borne of a noble familie in Geneva.
Fineo, by his service and discret behaviour, became in short
tyme verie deare unto the Kyng, so that in lesse then the
space of one whole yeare, the Kyng of speciall trust gave hym
the charge of the gate of the cube, whiche office the Eynges of
Tunise are never wont to give but unto suche as are in singular
&vour aboute theim. In the whiche FineOj to his greate con-
tentment, had the commoditie daiely to see his Fiamma, and
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TO MILITARIK PROFESSION. 119
she had do lesde oomforte and satisfaction to beholde and looke
upon hym ; whiche opdrtnnitie thei enjoyed and handeled so
dtscretly, that thei never gave any cause of suspition to any
persone of their fervent good will and affection.
The manor or eustome of the Kyng was, to cause his concu-
bines to come unto him, and to lye with them by order, as
thei had been bought or come to his handes; by reason of
whiche eustome, for that there were very many bought before
the commyng thether of Fiamma, there was alreadie a whole
yeare and a halfe welnie paste after her sale, and yet her tume
was not come to be called for. But. remainyng now but three
others to be brought unto the Kyng before her, Fineo con-
sideryng to his intollerable greefe that she was, ere it were
long, to be likewise called for, beganne to be tormented with
incredible passion and anguishe of mynde : and his woe en-
creased tenne thousand folde, by feare and imagination whiche
he conceived that she, being above all the Kynges concubines
farre the fairest, when he had once enjoyed her he would take
her to be one of his wives, whiche feare did no whitte lesse tor-
ment and afflicte Fiamma then it did her lover.
Whilest bothe these yong lovers lived in this sorte, there
chaunced to arrive at Tunise a shippe of Savona, with certaine
marchauntes of that citie, who seeyng Fineo there, and knowyng
hym, were wonderfully amarveiled, findyng hym alive, for that
he had been lamented at Savona of all his freendes for dedde.
Fineo, likewise, knowyng those marchauntes, and havyng auc-
thoritie and meanes to pleasure them in the court, welcomed
them, and made muche <^ them in freendly sorte ; and de-
maundyng of the state and wel&re of his &ther and brother,
and other ireendes, thei certified hym that thei were all well,
and that when thei should understande that he was alive and
in so good a case, thei would be very joyfuU, and think them-
selves happie if thei might hope to see hym once come agaiue,
as thei doubted not but one daie he would and might.
These marchantes havyng dispatched their businesse, de-
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120 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
parted thence, and by theim Fineo wrote letters to his father,
and to his brother, certifiyng them of his beyng in Tanise, and
how that Fiamma was with hym, and that he desired to deliver
hymself out of bondage, and her with hym, whiche thyng he
thou|i;ht he might easily bring to passe, if his brother would
come thither ; and with all described unto them a plot whiche
he had cast for the execution of his entent and desire.
Thei beyng returned safe unto Savona, deliyered the letters
unto the father and brother of Fineo, who with the rest of
bis freendes, and in effecte all the whole citie, were verie glad
that his fortune had not been altogether so firoward toward
hym as thei had supposed.
And his brother, accordyng to his instructicms, prepared a
verie pretie fregat, verie well appointed and ftimished with
merchaundize, emong whiche there were many trifles and
thynges of price, meete for ladies and gentlewomen. And
beyng arrived therewith at Tunise, Fineo brought them unto
the kyng, whom thei presented with some thynges of small
price, whiche were very gratefuU and acceptable unto him, and
emong other speeches, thei saied that thei had abord many
pretie thynges for dames and ladies, whiche thyng the kyng
understandyng, commaunded Fineo that the chefest of them
might be brought into the cube, to shewe suehe thingos as thei
had unto his concubines: by which occasion he gatte that
oportunitie whiche he looked for, to conferre and deale more
privatly with them, without suspition, and to give the better
order for the accomplishment of asmuch as he had devised.
Fineo and his brother, therfore, beyng come into the cube,
shewed forthe emong those women suche wares as they had
brought to please their fancies, and gave unto theim all some
one trifle or an other, as a gentle present to the firste ; and the
brother of Fineo presented Fiamma, emong the reste, with a
very faire purse, richely embrodered with golde and pearle, in
the whiche there was enclosed a letter, written by Fineo, by
the contentes whereof she might understande at large al that
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 121
whiche he did wishe and would have her to doe, to make their
escape together, and to ridde them selyes out of that thraldom
and captivitie. Assone as the twoo brethren had doen that
thei came for, and were departed, Fiamma, by their manner
gatheryng that the gift of that purse conteined some mis-
terie, withdrewe herself into a secrete place, and havyng opened
it, she founde therein the letter, whiche when she had redde,
she thanked Almightie God, that of his goodnesse had shewed
her the waie to deliver herself out of captivite, and from be-
comming dishonestly the concubine of an infidell kyng.
And when this appointed daie for the performing of their
purpose was come, Fiamma in the night, when all was silent
and others slept, came to a windowe barred with iron, where
Fineo and his brother were attendyng for her, who, with cer-
taine instrumentes, which thei had brought for that purpose,
brake and wrested the grate of the window, and takyng her
awaie with them, thei gotte her into their barque, and hoissed
saile, and directed their course with a merie winde toward the
coaste of Italie, whiche served theim verie &ire all that night
long, and the moste parte of the nexte daie. In the momyng,
Fiamma beyng missed, and Fineo likewise, the Kyng was ad-
vertised of their eskape, who perceivyng the marchauntes to be
gone also, rested assured that it was a sette match made for
the stealyng of Fiamma awaie. And be^g fiill of rage and
despight towardes them all, he caused certaine galleis and other
light vesselles to be armed in all haste, and to be sent after
them, givyng straight charge and commission to his captaines
that either thei should bring Fineo and the damsell, with the
cheef of the marchauntes, alive unto hym, because he would
cause them all three to be buried alive, or that if thei could
not get them alive, thei should bring their three heddes, for
that he would have them be set over the cube, for an example
and a terrour to all others.
But before those gallies and other yesselles could bee in a
readinesse to departe, Fortune, not havyng yet her fill of per-
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122 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
secutyng and afflictyi^ these two poore lovers, caased a o<hi-
trarie winde^ with an extreame storme and tempeBt to arise, by
force whereof the vessell wherein thei were was not without
greats daonger driven backe againe to Tanise, with so mache
greefe and sorrows of all them that were in it, as they maie
imagine that knowe the cnieltie and barbarousnesse of that
people. But in the begynning of the storme, the brother of
Fineo, dispairyng of his life, as he that was assured either to
be drouned by rage of the winde and seas, or els to die in tor-
ment if he retoumed into the hands of those infidels, gat him-
self into his cockboate, and therein hazarded his life ; and after
mache adoe, and a thoosande perilles of present death, reco-
vered the coaste of Italie at the last, and retoumed home to
Savona, full of woe, with heavie tidynges, declaryng unto his
&ther, that either the fregate would be lost, or els driven backe
againe to Tunise, where he was well assured that bothe his
brother and the yong damsell, his lover, should bee murthei^
in moste cruell manor*
At whiche doleftill newes, the father, as if he had scene his
soonne lye dedde before hym, beganne to weepe and lamente,
complainyng of his harde destinie, that caused hym to live so
long, or reserved hym to see those cruell and bitter daies.
Fineo, seeyng-hymself brought to so harde an exigent, for
that their vessell was«now driven backe nere unto Tunise, and
knowyng that he should feele the smarte of his &ulte, and the
kynges anger in sharpest manor and sorte, beyng determined
to live no longer, and to prevent the crueltie o£ the kyng,
drewe out his sworde, and would therewith have stroken hym
self to death. But Fiamma, catchyng hym by the arme : Alas !
Fineo, (% she) what shall become of me, if you bee dead i Shall
I remaine behinde to endure the cruell tormentes, that I knowe
this iufidell hath prepared for me t Yet rather, since that death
must needes deliver us of our misfortunes, before you execute
uppon yourself this your determination, ridde me out of the
worlde, and deliver me fix^m the paines which alreadie I feele
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TO MILITARIB PROFESSION. 123
in mj ima^nation, wherewith I assure myself the! wiU bryng
me to a shameM death. And with these woordes, offeryng her
breast nnto him, she requested him to strike her with his
Bwoorde ; but Fineo bad her bee of good comforte, for your
beautie my Fiamma, (saied he) beeyng so singular as it is, I
knowe will save you, and th»«fore you neede not feare, and I
alone should be the muine that thei would plague, and torment
to death for us bothe, and therefore, my deare, suffer me to dye
before, and content tiiy self to live, and Youchaafe sometyme to
remember thy unfortunate Fineo when he is dedde.
Whilest thei were thus talkyng and debatyng whiche should
firste dye, the people whiche the kyng had sent out to appro-
hende them came and bourded their fregate, and tooke them
bothe, whom thei bound in chaines, and brought on land to
the presence of the king, who, assone as he beheld the beautie
of Fiamma, felte his former wrathe and crueltie entended to
relent, and in muche milder maner then the two captives hoped
or looked for, he saied unto her : Tell me what moved you, I
praie you, fiure damsell, to runne awaie, and flie from me, at
whose handes you had no cause to looke for any other entreatie
than lovyng or freendlie I
Fiamma, who in that yere and a halfe that she had been in
the cube, had learned the language indifferently well, made
aunswere unto hym, that no cause or meanyng to flie from
hym, but her earnest desire to enjoye Fineo, whom she had
loved and chosen f6r her housbande many yeares before, had
forced her to doe that whiche she had doen : and herewith she
told him the beginning of their acquaintance and love, and how
many perilles and daungers thei had run through, still hopyng
one daie to come unto that happie houre, wherein their troubles
should have an ende, and that thei might bee honestlie united
and enjoye one an other : and finallie, castyng her self doune
at his feete, with aboundaunce of tearee, she besought hym
with all humilitie to pardone her, if she. had offended him,
and withal to forgive Fineo, since that long and faithftil
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124 RICUE HIS FAREWELL
loye had made thein to procure the accomplishement of their
desires.
The teares of Fiamma, and the onelie name of lore, were
of suche force and vertue in the harte of the Kyng, thongh he
were barbarous and cruell of nature, that the ire and hatred,
whiche he had conceived against them before, was then con-
verted and changed into pitie and compassion of their mis-
fortunes ; and where before he had appointed a cruell death to
bee their punishments, he now determined to overcome with.
his courtesie the firowardnesse of their perverse fortune, and
to make them, after so many perilles and^ dangers, contented
and happie, and to see an end at last of their miserieer,
by making them to enjoye their long Iio'ped-for desires.
Wherefore, havyng caused them to be bothe forthwith un-
bounde, he tooke from his owne finger a merveilous faire and
precious rubie, and giving it unto Fineo he saied unto him,
" Since your fortune hath bin suche, that after so many
strange adventures, and through suche daungers, you are
fallen into my handes, I, for my parte, will not be he that
will extinguishe or quence the flames of so fervent and con-
staunte love, or unloose or dissolve the bandes wherewith your
hartes bee bounde and knitte together : and therefore, Fineo,
I doe not onely pardon you bothe, but also I will have thee,
before thou departe hence, to wedde this damsell with this
ryng, and to take her for thy wife, and that she henceforth
enjoye thee for ever as her housbande.'" It is not to be de-
maunded whether the two lovers (who looked for none other
of the kynges courtesies then death) were glad to hear hym
use those speeches, yea or no; but bothe beeyng fallen on
their knees, and in humblest manor having yeelded their
thankes unto his majestic, Fineo, in his presence, wedded
Fiamma, and tooke her for his wife, to the unspeakable joye
and contentation of bothe their hartes and myndes ; and the
kyng, to honour their manage, caused a sumptuous feaste to
be prepared, with no lesse charge and aboundance of all
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thiDges, then if he had married a daughter of his owne to
some greate lorde or chiefe man of that coontrey.
And after certaine daies, the two yong maried lovers beyng
desirous to retoume into their owne countrey, he gave them
reiy riche and costly presentee, and sent them, honourably
aeeompanied, home to Savona; whose arivall was no lesse
manreilous then joyftil to the father and brother of Fineo, and
to all the citie, thei havyng been assuredly esteemed and ac-
compted as deade. Afterwards thei sent to Geneva to Fiam-
ma^s father and brother, certifiyng of al that had happened,
who then perswading them selves that God and nature had
created those two yong folke to bee matched and joyned to-
gether in wedlocke, were well contented with that whiche thei
saw was God^s will should be ; and beeyng gone both to Sa-
vona, the &ther embraced and accepted Fineo for his sonne-
in-lawe, and the brother for his brother-in-lawe. And the
two yong lovers lived ever after in greate happinesse and feli-
citie, givyng, by this successe of their harde fortune, an
assured argument, and a notable example, whereby we maie
leame, that though froward fortune doe for a while crosse and
molest the desires and travailes of men, yet in the ende she
can not let, but that of necessitie those thinges must come to
passe, whiche God, by his devine providence, wherewith he
mleth the whole world, hath appointed shal take effecte.
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126 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
•y
OF TWO BEETHREN AND THEIB WIVES.
THE ARGUMENT OF THE FIFT HISTORIE.
Tito brothers making ghoyse of their wivesj the one chouse for
beautie^ the other for riches : it happened unto them^ after thei
were married^ the one of their unves proved to be of light dis-
position^ the other a common scolde : in what maner thei liwd
witii their housbandes^ and how in the ende iJie first became to
live orderly and weU^ but the other could be brought by no
devise to any reason or good maner.
Gentlewomen, before I will proceede any farther in this
historie, I muste desire you to arme yourselves with pacience
in readyng hereof, that if you finde anything that might
breede offence to your modeste mjmdes, take it in this sorte,
that I haye written it onely to make you merrie, and not to
sette you a snarryng or grudgyng against me ; for although I
meane to present you with a chapter of knaverie, yet it shall
be passable, and suche as you maie very well permit, and the
matter that I minde to wright is upon this question, whether
a man were better to bee married to a wise harlot, or to a
foolishe oTerthwart and brauling woman ! This question, I
know, will seeme very doubtfal unto some, and yet in my
opinion very easie to bee aunswered : and to speake my
mynde without dissimulation of bothe those evilles, I thinke
the first is least, and therefore is to be chosen ; and herein I
could alledge for my better proofe an example of the auncient
Bomaines, who in all their govemmentes were moste wise and
politique, amongst whom the infirmitie of the firste was borne
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vrithall, because it proceaded of the frailtie of the fleshe, but
the outrage of the second was eyer condemned, for that it did
abounde from a wicked and mischevous mjnde. And in com-
mon reason is it not lesse noisome for a man to live accom-
panied with a wife, who, although she will some tyme flie out,
can 80 wisely dissemble with her housebande, that he shall
never so muche as suspecte her, whereby he shall receive no
discontentment in his minde, then to be bedfellowe with
Xantippa, a common scold, who daiely and hourely will be
checkyng, tauntyng, and railyng at him in J9uch sorte, that he
nhall thinke hymself moste blest and happie when he is fii>r-
thest from her companie! But for your better confirmation I
have set forthe this historic of twoo brethren, the one of them
married to a wenche that could so cunnynglie behave herself
iowardes hym, that he had thought she had beloved th^*e had
been no other God but himself, and yet, by your leave, she
would take reason when it was profiered her, but what of
that? the harte never greeves what the eyes see not. The >
other was married to a dame, that from her navill douneward
was more chast and continent, but otherwise of her tong suche
a devill of helle, that the poore man her housbande could
never enjoye merrie daie nor houre, although he devised many
a pretie remedie, as by the readyng of the processe of this tale
you shall better perceive, whiche followeth in this sorte.
There was somtime remainyng in a &mous citie twoo bre- Y
thren : the eldest (accordyng to the custome of the place) en-
joyed his father'^s goodes and possessions after his death,
wherby he was well able to live; the yongest had neither
landes nor livynges, saving that his &ther had trained hym up
in learning, whereby he was able to goveme hymself in all
maner of companies where soever he became. These twoo
brethren, beyng wearie of their single lives, disposed them-
selves to manage. The eldest, beeyng of hymself well able
to live, sought a wife onely for her beauty, without any other
respect either to her conditions or riches, and as the proverbe
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128 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
is (he that sekes shall finde) so in the ende he lighted on a
gentlewoman, called by the name of Mistres Dorithe, whose
beantie in deede was verie excellent, and there withall had a
passyng readie witte, marie her trainyng up had not been
after the beste nor worst maner, but, as a man might saie,
after the common sorte: this gentlewoman he married, who
could so well handle hym with kissyges, cuUynges, and other
amaroos exercises, that her housebande thought hymself the
most fortunate manne that lived to light on suche a wife,
although she cunnyngly armed his hedde with homes, as aft^r
you shall heare.
The second brother left (as you have heard) without main-
tenance or livyng, sought for a wife onely to releve his want,
and fortuned to hit of a widowe, in deede, with greate wealthe,
but in conditions so overthwart, and so spitftiU of her tongue,
that the poore man had not been married fuUie out a moneth,
but he more then a thousande tymes cursed the priest that
married hym, the sexton that opened the churche doore when
he went to bee married, yea, and his owne unhappie legges,
that had carried his bodie to bee yoked to so greate a mis-
cheef. But because I doe minde more orderly to tell you the
manors of these twoo gentlewomen, I will firste beginne with
Mistres Doritie, whose housebande, after thei had been a
while maried, fortuned to fidl sicke ; and then, accordyng to
that countrey manor, a doctor of phisicke was presently sent
for, who commyng many times to visite his pacient, began to
beholde and contemplate the lively beautie of this gentle-
woman, and lent her many rowlyng lookes and secrete coun-
tenaunces in suche sorte, that Mistres Doritie beyng well
practised in the arte of love, and seyng Maister Doctor to be
a man as sufficient to content a gentlewoman in her chamber
that was whole, as to minister medicines to those that were
sicke, did not onely requite hym againe with looke for looke,
but she yeelded hym a large usurie, and paid him more then
fourtie in the hundred. Master Doctor, who was likewise
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skilftill enough, could well perceive whereto those lookes did
tende, upon a tjme beyng alone 19 her companie, he saied
unto her as foUoweth. >^
Mistres Doritie, if the experience wljdche I have learned in
Phisickes arte might crave credite, and make my tale to bee
the better beleeyed, assure yourself, then, that I minde to saie
nothyng but that that shall bee to your owne behoofe ; and the
reason that makes me to enter into this discourse, is the pitie
that I take to see so proper a gentlewoman as yourself should
bee so deceived in a housebande, who, although you shall finde
hym bothe honeste, gentle, and lovyng, yea, and peradrenture
male contente you with suche rightes as appertaine to the mar-
riaGfe bedde, yet assure yourself he shall never be able to get
you with child, consideryng your natures and complexions be
so fiure different the one from the other, whereby you are like
for ever to remaine without issue : and one of the greateste
comfortes that male happen unto us in this worlde is to see
ourselves, as it were, regenerate and borne anewe in our chil-
dren, and barrenesse in the auncient tyme, hath been accompted
not onely infamous, but also moste hatefiiU emongst women, in
80 muche that Sara gave her owne handmaide to her house-
band, because she could not herself conceive a child ; but I
would wishe women more witte then t-o foUowe Sarahs example.
God defende thei should be so foolishe to give their maidens to
their housebandes ; I would wishe them rather themselves to
take their menne: it hath been ever holden for the greater
wisedome, rather to take then to give ; and sure thei shal finde
it more for their owne profites, that if their housbandes want
be suche, that he is not able to get a child, to take helpe of
some other that male supplie his imperfections. But I trusts I
shall not neede to use many perswasions, consideryng that
every wise woman will thinke that 1 have reason on my side.
Thus, Mistres Doritie, you have heard the somme of my taile,
protestyng, that if my service maie any waies stande you in
K
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180 BIOHB HIS FAREirAL
Bteade, I am as readie to ol^e, as he over whom yon have
power to oommaunde. ^'
Mistres Doritie, who all this while had well pondered hifl
woordes, knewe verie Veil how to whet Maister Doctor on, and
the more to set his teeth on edge, amiswered hym thner. I per-
ceive, Maister Doctor, you are something pleasantly disposed,
and hereafter, when I shall find my housbandes infirmitie to
be suche as you have saied, I meane to sonde for yon, deeiryng
you that you would not be out of the waie, to helpe me when I
have neede.
The Doctour knewe not well how to understande these
wordes, whether thei were merily spoken, or otherwise in dis-
daine of his former talke, aunswered thus. Alas, Mistres
Doritie, pardon me if my woordes seeme anythyng offensive
unto you, assuryng you that in this meane space that I have
made my recourse to your housebande, (whose healthe, by the
sufferance of God, I have now well restored) am myself falne
into a fever so extreame, as neither Galen, Hypocrates, Avicen,
Pliny, nor any other that ever gave rules of phisicke, could yet
prescribe a medicine for the malladie, or diet to suppresse the
humour that feedes it. I shall not neede to use longe circum*
staunce in the matter, knowyng your wisedome to bee suche,
that you can well conceive the somme of all my greef : it is
your beautie that is like to breede my bane, and hath alreadie
driven me into the greatest depth of daunger, unlesse some
plaintes of pitie maie prevaile, to yeelde remorse to hym that
vowes hymself to doe you service duryng li&.
Mistres Doritie, seyng the matter sorted out as she looked
for, could tell well enough how to handle Maister Doctor, and
to make hym the more eger, she delaied hym of with doubtfoU
speeches, but yet fedde hym still with suche entisyng and plea-
saunt countenaunces, that ministered greate hope of comfort to
his disease : ' she aunswered thus.
And could you then finde in your harte, Maister Doctor, to
deceive your very freend of his deare and lovyng wife! How
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€an you offer hym so manifest an injurie, to whom you are so
lately linckt in so greate a league of freendship as is betweene
my houseband and yourself! I can not think, Maister Doctor,
that it is good will that hath caused you to move this sute unto
me, but rather to see how I were disposed ; or peradventure
you use these wordes for exercise sake, knowyng the fashion of
you men to bee suche, as by praisyng of our beautie you thinke
to bring us into a fooles paradyse, yf we wil give credite straight
waie, that you love us so soone as you shall but tell us the
tale : but for my part, Maister Doctor, although I want wit to
encounter you with wordes, so likewise I want wit to beleve
any thing that you have said to be otherwise then wordes of
course.
These speeches did ingender suche a nomber of swete and
flowre alterations in Maister Doctor, that for his life he wiste
not how to understande them : one while thei were like to drive
hym to dispaire, an other while thei somethyng quieted hym
with hope, but in the ende determinyng to foUowe what he had
begonne, he saied.
Swete mistres, moste humbly I desire you to accompt of
me, not according to my desertes, which as yet are none at all,
but accordyng to the dutifiill service whiche hereafter I vowe
^Buthfnlly to doe unto you ; and for the better tostimonie of my
wordes, which, as you sale, seme to be of suche ordinary course,
I desire no other credite male be given theim then shall bee
agreable to my deedes, when it shall please you to commaunde.
But alas for the injurie which you speake of, that I should offer
to your housebande, who In deede I make accompt to bee my
verie freende, what is he, I praie you, that is able to prescribe
lawes to love I And as love is without lawcj so it is without
respect, either of freende or foe, &ther or brother, riche or
poore, mightie or weake, vertuous or vicious : the examples are
80 many and generall, that I should but waste the time to re-
peate them. But, Mistres Doritie, I proteste, the verie cause
that roaketh me to move this matter unto you is for no ill will
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132 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
that I bear to your housbande, but for the good wil I beare ta
your swete self: you maie use your housbande as your hous-
bande, and me as your freende, glad to stande at reversion,
when your housebande maie take his fill of the banket, and be
glutted with more then enough : farther, if you make so greate
aceompte of your honsbandes good likyng, as you saie, what
wives be ever better beloved, or more made of by their hous-
bandes, then those that have discretion to helpe their frendes
when thei neede ! But what sottishe opinion is this, whiche so
many doeth holde, that they thinke it so greate an injurie for
a man to seke the wife of his freende, when he is attached by
love, whose arrest neither goddes nor men have bin ever able
to resist ? But I praie you. Mistress Doritie, if I might aske
you this question, would you not thinke your good will better
bestowed upon your housbandes freende then his foe ! if you
love your housebande, I am sure you wil saie I have reason.
What should I longer trouble you then with circumstances ? I
knowe you are wise, and now I desire you, for the good will
that you beare to your housebande, to pitie me, his freende,
whom I trust you will restore with one drop of mercy, and
the rather for your honsbandes sake.
How thinke you, gentlewomen, bee not these gentle per-
swasions to bee used by a Doctor ! Marie, he was no Doctor
of Divinitie, and therefore you neede not foUowe his doctrine,
unlesse you liste yourselves; but this pitifuU gentlewoman,
seyng Maister Doctor at such derperate poinctes, for feare of
damning of her owne soule, that so deare a freende to her
housbande, as Maister Doctor was, should perishe and bee so
wilfiiUy caste awaie through her de&ult, she received hym for
her freend ; and so I praie God give them joye.
But it fortuned afterwardes this gentlewoman to light into
the companie of a lawier, who perceivyng this dame to be of
suche excellent beautie, joynyng hymself something nere her,
he sated. Gentlewoman, although I have no skill in the arte
of paintyng, yet assure your self, your forme and passing
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beautie is so sorely engraven and fixed in my mynde, that
although yourself were absent, I could drawe your perfect
counterfecte, savyng that I thinke all the apothecaries in this
citie were not able to fumishe me with colours to make the
perfecte distaine of the beautie in your face.
Mistres Doritie,knowyng whereto these speeches pretended,
aunswered. Indeede, sir, it should seeme you would prove a
passyng painter, that can so cunnyngly painte forthe with
wordes that whiche I knowe is too farre unworthie of so ex-
cellent a florishe as you would give it. — Mistres, (q^ the Lawier)
if I have committed any offence in these woordes whiche I
have spoken, it is in that I have taken upon me to praise your
beautie, and not able to give it suche due commendations as I
see it doeth deserve, the sight whereof doeth so captivate my
affections, and hath so creepled all my senees, that it hath
caused me in manor to forgette myself: no marvaile, then,
though my tongue doeth faile, and is not able to expresse the
perfection of you, unto whom with vowe of continuall service I
subjecte my life, livyng, and libertie, if it please you to accept
of it.
This gentlewoman, that had yet but one freende to truste
uppon besides her housbande, beganne to thinke that store was
no sore, and therefore determined not to forsake his irendlie
offer, but firste she demaunded of hym of his fecultie, and what
trade of life he used i to whiche he aunswered, that he was a
gentleman appertainyng to the lawe. It maie well bee so,
(q^ she) for I perceive, by your experience, that this is not the ;
firste plea that you have framed. — And yet beleeve me, (q^ the
Lawier) I was never brought before to pleade at beauties barre,
but sithe my happe is suche, I humblie holde up my handes,
desiryng to be tried by your courtesie and myne owne loialtie,
content3aig myself to abide suche dome and judgement as it
shall please you to appoincte, beeyng the cheef and soveraigne
judge yourself. She repliyng saied : Seeyng you have con-
stituted me to give sentence at ray pleasure, it is not the office
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134 tllCHB HIS FAREWELL
of a good justicer to bee parciall in his owne cauBe ; and there*
fore, this is the hope you shal looke for at my handes, that if
hereafter in your deedes I shall see as plaine proofe of perfeete
good will, as your woordes by pretence importe likelyhood of
earnest lore, you shall finde me ready to render suche recom-
pence as shall &11 out to your owne contentation and likyng.
This comfortable aunswere yerie well pleased hym; and
within a verie little space after, he so handeled the matter,
that he had entered his action in her common place.
Thus, what betweene Maister Doctor on the one side, wha
was still ministeryng of phisicke unto her, so long as th^e were
any drugges remainyng in his storehouse, and the Lawi^ on
the other side, who sufficiently enstructed her with his lawe,
thei used suche haunt unto this gentlewoman^s companie, that
the one b^anne to growe suspicious on the other, and eche of
theim desirous to have her severall to hymself, beganne in the
ende to envaigh the one against the other ; the Doctor against
the Lawier, and the Lawier against the Doctor, and to tel her
to her &ce what thei suspected, the one against the other. But
Mistres Doritie, beeyng very angry with theim bothe, thai
would so narrowlie looke into her doynges, did thinke it had
been sufficient for reasonable men that she had received ihem
into her &vour, and as ofti^n as it had pleased them to come
she welcomed them as themselves did desire : and what can a
man desire any more then to drinke so oflien as he shalbe a
thirste! But with &ire speeches she contented them bothe for
a tyme ; but she thought in th'ende to finde a remedy for that
mischeef.
And thus it fell out, that a Souldiour, who vras lately re*
toumed from the warres, I gesse aboute the same tyme that
Kyng Henry the Fift was retoumed from the winnyng of
Agincourt feelde, this Souldiour, I saie, bravyng it out aboute
the streates of the citie, (as commonly the custome of soul-
diours is, to spend more in a moneth then thei get in a yere)
as he roomed to and fro, and fortuned to espie this blasyng
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TO MILITARIB PROFESSSION. 136
staire lookyng out at a windowe, was sodaiiily stroken into a
greate[r] maze to Bee this lampe of light, then ever he had been
in the feelde to see the ensignes of his enemies ; and was so
fiirre oyercharged with her lore, that, but for feare to have been
marked by the passers by, he would have stoode still gazyng
and lookyng uppon her, but leamyng, in the ende, that she
was the mistres of the house, he began to devise how he might
make her understande the fervencie of his love, on whiche he
determined to write unto her. But then he knewe not how to
beginne his letter, because souldiours are verie seldome accus-
tomed to endite, especially any of these lovyng lines ; and to
speake unto her, he was likewise to leame how to use his
tearmes : neither wiste he how to come into her presence ; but
you shall see Fortune &voured hym, for in an evenyng, as he
passed through the streate, she was sittyng alone in her doore
to take the aire, and commyng unto her, not knowyng for his
life how to begin his tale, in the ende, Mistres, (% he) I praie
you, is your housebande within?
No, surely, sir, (q^ she) he is abroade in the toune, but I
knowe not where. And I would gladlie have spoken with
hym, (c^ the Souldiour) if he had ben within. Beleeve me, sir,
he is not within, (q^ she) but if it please you to leave your
arrande with me, at his commyng home, I will shew hym your
minde. in fiuth, mistres, (q^ the Souldiour) my arrande is not
greate : I would but have craved his helpe in chusyng me a
wife, because I perceive he hath some experience in the &cultie,
or eh think he could never have chosen so well for hymself.
If your arrande be no other then this, (q^ Mistres Doritie) you
maie.at your owne leisure come and doe it yourself; and as for
my housbandes experience that you speake of, although perad*
venture it bee not fittyng to your £Emcie, yet I am well assured
that he hath made his choyse of suche a one as he hymself very
wel liketh. I believe it well, (<^ the Souldiour) and if without
offence I might speake it, I sweare, so God help me, I like his
ehoise so wel, that I would thinke myself more then a thousand
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186 RICUE HIS FAREWELL
tymed happie, if I might be his halfe i or if my unwortbinesse
deserved not so greate a portion, I would craye no more ihea
yourself would willingly bestow on me, accordyngly as you
should see me able to deserve it. Why, sir, (q^ Mistres Doritie)
I doe not understande whereunto your speeches doeth tende,
neither what part you would have me to give you, when I have
alreadie bestowed of my housebande bothe my hande, my harte,
my minde, and good will. Alas ! gentlewoman, (% the Soul-
diour) these bee none of them that I would crave : there is yet
an overplus whiche you have not yet e^ken of, whiche, if you
please to bestow of a souldiour, I should think myself the hap-
piest man alive, whose love and good likyng towardes you is
suche, that I trust, in tyme to come, yourself will, judge me
worthie for my well deservyng zeale to have deserved hire.
Souldiours are seldome scene (q^ Mistres Doritie) to marche
under the banner of Venus ; but what so ever you bee, doe yon
thinke to overthrowe my vertues with the assault of your wan-
ton perswasions, or would you make me beleeve that you love
me as you sale, when you have no more respect to the hurt of
my soule i Gentlewoman, (q^ the Souldiour) I am not able to
encounter you with wordes, because it hath not been my pro-
fession, nor trainyng up, but if you doubte of my love and good
likyng, please it you to make triall : commaund anythyng that
your self shall thinke requisite, whiche if I doe not performe to
the uttermoste, then esteme my love in deede to be but feined,
and where you thinke that I goe aboute to seeke the prejudice
or hurte of your soule, beleeve me I never ment it.
Mistres Doritie, who had beene well acquainted before with
many suiters, had never been apposed with such a rough hewen
fellowe, that was so blunt and plaine, aswell in his gesture as
in his tearmes, beganne to thinke with herself that he might
well bee a Souldiour, for she knewe that thei had little skill in
the courting of gentlewomen ; yet she perceived by his counte-
naunce the vehemencie of the love he bare unto her, and per-
ceivyng his plaiuesse, she beganne to thynke hym more fitter
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for her diet then either Maister Doctor, or Maister Lawyer,
that could not be contented the one with the other, when she
gave tbenoL bothe so muche as thei could crave : and therefore
thinkyng with herself that to loose any longer tyme were but
a poinct of foUie, takyng the Souldiour by the hande, she ledde
hym up into a chamber, where other speeches were passed be*
tweene them in secrete, whiche I could never yet understande.
And what thei did &rther, when thei were by themselves,
gentlewomen, I praie gesse you, but this I must advertise you
pf, that before thei came foorth of the chamber againe, the
Souldiour had pleased Mistres Doritie so wel, that both Maister
Doctor and Maister Lawyer were put quite out of conceipt ; so
that from that tyme forwards, when thei came of their visita-
tion, the gentlewoman was not well at ease, or she had com-
panie with her, or she was not at home, that thei could no
more speake with her, which toumed them both into a wonderr
fill agonie. The Doctor had thought she had forsaken hym
for the love of the Lawyer : the Lawyer he thought asmuche
by the Doctor ; that, in the ende, not knowing otherwise how
to spitte out their venime against her, they devised eache of
them a letter, whiche thei sent her.
The first of these letters delivered unto her came from the
Doctor, whiche letter he left unpointed of purpose, because
that in the readyng of it it might bee poincted two waies, and
made to seeme either to her praise or dispraise ; but Mistres .
Doritie herself, in the readyng of it, poincted it SjS I have set
it doune, and foUoweth in this sorte :
And who would have thought, Mistres Doritie, that for the
lovyng advertisementes given you by your frende, you could
so lightly have shaken hym of, if I burdened you with any
thyng that might seeme greevous unto you, thinke it was love
that ledde me unto it, for that I protest inwardly in my mynde
I never did esteeme you otherwise then for as honest a gentle-
woman as lives this daie in Bridewell, I have heard s^rie somQ
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138 RIGHB HIS FAREWELL
have been scourged more upon evill will, then for any desertes
whereof thei might justly be accused, so if it be my happe to
QuSdT undesenred penaunce, I must impute it to my owne mis-
fortune, but yet contrarie to my expectation, consideryng how
I have ever taken you to be giyen in your conditions to prao*
tise unseemely, filthie, and detestable thynges : I, knowe you
have ever abhorred to live chastly, decently, and orderly : you
have ever been trained up to be wanton, proude, and inconti-
nent : you never tooke delight in that was good, honest, or
commendable : you wholie gave yourself to leudenesse, luste,
andlecherie: you were an open enemie to vertue, a frende to
vice. What should I sale I I doe but waste the tyme in the
settyng of you forth, and therefore will leave you like as I
founde you, i,
. This letter brought Mistres Doritie into suche a fhrie, when
she had perused it, thet she sware, by no beggers, she would be
so revenged upon the Doctor,/xhat she would make hym a spec-
tacle to all the phisitions in the worlde, how they should abuse
an honest gentlewoman while thei lived. /And in the middest
of her melancholie, her dearest freende the Souldiour happened
to come in, whom she made partaker of all her secretes,
shewyng him the letter whiche Maister Doctor had sent her ;
and as thei were devisyng how to use revengemente, a mes-
senger was knocking at the doore, to deliver a letter fix>m the
Lawyer, the tenure whereof followeth in this maner.
Maie this bee the rewarde of my true and &ithfoll love
whiche so firmely I have borne thee ! or is this the delight of
thy dalliaunce, whiche so many tymes thou haste used with
me i So careleslie to shake me of, as though I had committed
some notable abuse, when in deede I have loved thee a greste
deale more then I perceive thou art worthie of. Oh, feminine
flatterie ! 0, fained faunyng ! 0, counterfet courtesie ; O, depe
dissimulation ! But what hope is otherwise to b^ looked for
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TO MIUTABIB PROFESSION. 139
in these kites of Oiessides kinde! or what constancie maie
any man thinke to finde in a woman i No, no ; if a man maie
generally speake of their sexe, you shall never finde them but
counterfect in their courtesie, fained in their frendahip, dis-
sembling in their deedes, and in all their actions moste daun«
gerons for men to deale withall : for if she have a &ire &ce, it
is ever matched with a cmell harte ; their heavenly lookes
with hellishe thoughtes ; their modest countenaunces with
mereilesse mindes ; thei have witte, but it is in wiles ; if thei
love, it is too vehement ; when thei hate, it is to the death.
But, good GK)d ! with how many fopperies are thei accustomed
to feede fooWI 1 meane suche as bee lovemakers and [suiters
unto theim, whom thei delaie with as many devises as thei be
in number that seekes to serve them. Some thei lure with
lookes ; some thei practise with promises'; some thei feede with
flattery ; some thei delaie with daliance ; some thei winde in
with wiles; some thei keepe with kisses; some they diet
with dissimulation. One must weare her glove, an other must
weare her garter ; another laust weare her coulers ; another
shall weare the spoile of as muche as she can gette from ail
the reste by cousonage : and yet to see how daintie these dar-
lynges wil seeme to those that be not acquainted with their
customes were able to dash a young man out of countenaunce.
I warrant you, thei can make it more nice then wise ; more
coie then comely ; more fine then honest. And to whom doe
thei make the matter most daungerous, but to them that de-
serveth best to be rewarded i For where thei see a man that
is drouned in affection towardes them, over hym thei will
triumph, and can tell how to ride the foole without a snaffle :
one while thei will crosse hym with iroward language, then
againe comfort hym with some fiuned looke. Now she drives
hym into desperation with firounyng face; by and by she
baites hym againe with banquettes of uncertaine hope : suche
is their evill nature, (as I sale) that thei wiU shewe themselves
moste squemishe and daintie to hym that loves them moste
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140 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
entirely, and hym that seekes them least dishonestly, hym thei
rewarde with their coldest courtesie. For better proofe, lette
a man seeke to winne one of these tender peeces that goes for
a maide, honestly, and in the waie of manage, and I ¥rar-
rant you she will make the matter more coye and nice to
hym that meanes good earnest, then to an other that comes
but to trie and prove them. And what signes of shame&st-
nesse will thei seeme to make, when a man doeth but touch
them, &inyng themselves to be too young, when, indeede, if
thei once past the age of fifteen yeres, (if thei were not afeard of
breedyng of bugges in their beallie) by their good willes they
would never be without the companie of a man. Thus to con-
clude, their nature is openly to scome all men, bee their loves
never so honest, and secretly to refuse no manne, be his* luste
never so leude. Full aptly did Salomon in his Proverbes com-
pare you to wine, that can make us so dronken with your de-
vises, that notwithstandyng we see the snares with our eyes,
whiche you have sette to entangle us, wee can not shunne the
baito whiche wee knowe will breede our bane. Thus muche,
Mistres Doritie, I have thought good to signifie unto you,
whose discourtisie at this tyme hath caused me so generally to
envaie against your whole sexe, not otherwise mindyng to ac-
cuse yourself perticularly, knowing that if you should other-
wise have used me then you have, you should have degressed
and swarved quite from your kinde, and so I leave yon.
Gentlewomen, I beseche you, forgive me my fiskult, in the pub-
lishyng this in&mous letter : I promise you, I doe but signifie
it accordyng to the copie whiche this unhappie Lawyer sent to
Mistres Doritie ; and. when I had well considered the blas-
phemie that he had used against your sexe, I cutte my penne .
all to peeces wherewith I did copie it out, and if it had not
been for the hurtyng of myself, I promise you, I would have
cutte and mangled my owne fingers, wherewith I held the penne
while I was writyug of it : and trust me, accordyng to my
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 141
fikill, I could well have founde in my harte to have encountred
hym with an aunswere in your defence, but then I was inter-
rupted by an other, as you shall well perceive. For the Soul-
dioor, whiche you have heard spoken of, that was remainyng
with Mistres Doritie, when he had perused this letter, was put
into a wonderfull chafe, and in the middest of his furie he
uttered these wordes.
Ah, moste vile and blasphemous beast ! what art thou, that
with sucbe exclamations goest about to de&me those whom by
all honest humanitie and manhood we bee willed specially to
love, honour, and reyerence ! what art thou ? a man, a deyill,
or a Bubtill Lawyer ! Yea, surelie, and so thou maiest well
bee ; and herein haste thou shewed thyself no whit at al to
duresse from thy profession ; for as at the firste the lawes
were constituted to minister justice, and to give every one his
right, so now are thei made, by the practise of a nomber of
pettie foggers, the instrumentes of all iniquitie and wrong.
"iBven so^that worthie sexe, whiche at the firste were/given
unto man /by the Almightie God himself, /(o be his cheefesi
comforte and consolation, j see here the practise of a wicked
caitife, who with his eloquence would perswade us that thei
were our greatest mine and desolations. / Ah, wicked wretche
that thou art ! how thinkest thou to escape thus, to blowe forth
thy blasphemie against those blessed ones whom God hath per-
fited above all other creatures ! .. For at their firste creation
thei were made of the moste beste and purified mettall of mane,
where man hymself was framed but of slime and drosse. What
reason, then, that, beyng at the first framed moste pure and
peifecte creatures, but that thei should continue their firste
perfection to the ende of the worlde ! And like as at the first
. thei were made more excellent then man, where should wee
now seeke for grace, vertue, and goodnesse, but onely in the
feminine sexe, accordyng to their singuler creation.
I trust this is so evident, that there is no man able to denaie
it, and enough to prove, that as women at the firste were ere-
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1 42 RIOHE HIS FAREWELL
ated moirte perfecte, so they have still remained the storehoose
of all grace, vertue, and goodnesse ; and that if there be any-
thing founde in us men that is worthie of commendation, we
are onely to give thankes to women, from whom wee receive it,
as bejng descended fi*om out their entn^les. But with how
greate and manifolde miseries should wee men bee daily
afflicted, were it not for the comfbrte wee finde at womens
handes i for, besides that by their industrie we be notified,
made more clendly, and kept swete, who otherwise of our
selves we should become to bee moste fiithie and lothsome crea-
tures, so at all tymes and seasons thei bee so neceesarie and
convenient aboute us, that it were impossible for us to bee with-
out their blessed companies. First, in our health thei content
us with their &miliaritie ; in our sicknesse thei cherish us ; in
our mirth thei make it more abounde ; in sorrowe their com-
panie doeth beguile our pensive thoughtes ; in pleasure thei bee
our cheefe delightes ; in paine their presence bredeth comfort
to our grief; in wealth what greater treasure then to enjoye
our beloved ; in want what greater wealth then a lovyng and
faithftdl wife ; in peace we labour still to get their likyng ; in
warres thei make us shewe ourselves more valiaunt. But how
is it possible that women should behave themselves, but that
there are some wil finde feught with them ! first, if she be
fiimiliare, we judge her to be light ; if she seeme anything
straunge in her conversation. Ah ! we saie, she is adaungerous
dame ; if merrie, wee thinke her to be naught ; if sad, we saie
she is more grave then honest ; if she bee talkative, we saie
she is a tatlyng houswife ; if silent, we saie she is a sheepe; if
dendly in her apparell, we saie she is proude ; if plaine, or
homely, we saie she is a doudie, or a slut ; if thei denaie us
their ourtesie when we sue unto them, wee saie thei be cruell
tygers, beares, and bugges ; if thei have compassion of us, we
discredit them amongst our companions.
But see here the cunnyng of a caitife, that would wreste
the wordes of Salomon to the dispraise of women, because in his
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TO HIUTARIB PROFESSION. 14>3
Provaxbes be compareth'them to wine. Bat, to interprete the
words of Salomon by Salomon himself, in an other place of
the same Proverbes, he willeth wine should bee given to com-
Ibrte those that bee feeble and weake : now, compare these
plaees together, and see what harme he hath doen to women ;
and in my opinion he could not more aptly have made a com-
parifion, for as wine is a comforte to those that are feeble and
weake, so are women our greatest solace both in sicknesse and
in health : but if any wil saie that wine maketh us dronken,
and fit>m reasonable men to become more brute then beastes, I
annswere, that the faught is not to be imputed to the wine,
but to the beastlinesse of him that taketh more then enough ;
for there is nothyng so precious for our behoofes, but by our
own abuse we make it seeme most yile andlothsome : and thus
graonting Maister Lawyer his comparison to be true, he hath
doen little hurt, savying he hath shewed hymself a diligent
Bcholler to his maister the deyill, who is &ther of all lyes,
in maintainyng so manifest a lye against suche harmlesse
ereatures.
There were many other speeches pronounced by this soul-
dionr in behaulf of women, whiche I have forgot to recite ;
bat I pray, gentlewomen, how like you by this souldiour!
doe you not thynke hym worthie a sargantes fee for his aun-
swere! In my opinion you ought to love souldiours the
better for his sake.
Sut to retoume to Mistres Doritie. Those two letters had so
▼exed her, that there was nothing in her minde but how she
might be revenged. Her freende the souldiour promised for
her sake, that he would ao cudgill bothe Maister Doctor and
the Lawier, that thei should not, in one moneth after, be able
to lift their armes to their beds, savyng he wist not how to
get them into a place convenient, for y^ it was dangerous to
deale with them in the open streates : Mistres Doritie, givyng
hym twentie kisses for his courtesie, tolde him she would de-
vise to bryng them into some place where he might worke
his will.
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144 RICHK HIS FAREWELL
Presently after Mistres Doritie sent for Maister Doctor,
whom she knewe very well how to handle, and in a milde
maner she began greatly to blame hym, that beyng wise, aa
she knewe hym to be, would so rashly judge of her ; for that
he might well know that there was some greate cause that
itioved her to use hym as she had doen, otherwise then he
had conjectured : and thus with many other like speeches,
she so smothed the matter with Maister Doctor, that she
made hym beleeve her housbande had some suspition in their
&miliaritie, and that by his commaundement she had ab*
stained his companie for a tyme : the which, Maister Doctor,
(q^ she) I did for no evill will that I beare you, but for a tymef
to bleare my housbandes eyes, thinkyng in the ende so to
have handled the matter, that we might have continued oui:
accustomed freendship without any maner of suspition ; and
then drawyng forthe the letter whiche the Doctor had sent
her (she said). But see, Maister Doctor, your good opinion
conceived in me : loe ! here the reward that I have for my
courtesie bestowed of you, thus to raile and rage against nie,
as though I were the moste notable strumpet in a countrey.
The Doctour, knowyng in what forme he had wright the
letter, and desirous againe to renue his late acquaintaunce,
aimswered, that he never writte letter unto her, whereby he
had given any occasion for her to take any greef. No have f
(q^ Mistres Doritie) read you then heare your owne lines ;
takyng hym the letter, which the Doctor, as I told you before,
had lefte unpointed, and therefore in the readyng he pointed
it after this maner : —
And who would have thought (A^istres Doritie) that for
the lovyng advertisementes given you by your &eende, you
could so lightly have shaken hym of? If I burdened you
with any thing that might seme greevous unto you, thinke it
was love that ledde me unto it, for that I protest inwardlie in
my minde, I did never esteeme you otherwise then for as
honest a gentlewoman as lives this daie. In Bridwell, I have
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 145
heard s^e, some have been scourged more upon evill will, then
fer any desertes whereof thei might justly be accused ; so if it
be my hap to suffer undeserved penaunce, I muste impute it
to mine owne misfortune, but yet contrarie to my expectation,
oonsideryng how I have ever taken you to be given in your
oonditions. To practise unseemly, filthie, and detestable
thinges, I knowe you have ever abhorred; to live chastlie,
decently, and ordeijy, you have ever bin trained up ; to be
wanton, proude, and incontinent, you never tooke delight ; in
that was good, honest, or commendable, you wholie gave your-
flielf ; to leudnesse, luste, and lecherie, you were an open ene-
mie ; to vertue a freende ; to vice — ^what should I saie ! I
dooe bat waste the tyme in the settyng of you foorthe, and
therefore will leave you like as I founde you.
I praie you, Mistres Doritie (q^ the Doctor) where is this
railyng and ragyng you speake of? I truste, I have written
nothing that might discontent you. Mistres Doritie, per-
ceivyng the knaverie of the Doctour, and seeyng the matteiv
fell out BO fitte for her purpose, first givyng him a freendly
busse, she said, ^' Alas ! my deare freend, I confesse I have
trespassed in misconsteryng of your lines ; but forgive me, I
praie you, and now have compassion of her, whose love to-
warde you is suche, that it is impossible for me to live without
your good likyng ; and seyng that my housebandes jelousie is
80 muche, that yon can have no longer accesse to my house
but it must needes come to his eare by suche spie and watche
as he hath laied, neither my self can goe abroade to any place,
but I am dogged and followed by suche as he hath appointed ;
but now if your love bee but halfe so muche towardes me as I
trust I have deserved, and hereafter doe meane to requite, I
have alreadie devised a meane how for ever I might enjoye
my desired fireend, without either lette or molestation of any
one, seeme he never so muche to be offended at the matter.
The Doctor, the gladdest man in the worlde to heare these
newes, aunswered. And what is it, then, that should make you
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146 RIGHE HIB FAREWELL
stagger, or doubt of the frendahip of yonr lovyng Doctor !
no, not if thereby I shoold hazard the loase both of life and
goodes.
Alas ! (% Mistres Doritie) Gt>d defende I should worke jon
so greate a prejudice ; and I beseeche you use no more sache
speeches unto me, that I should goe about to put yoa into
any suche perill, the remembraunce whereof is more greevous
unto me, then if I had felte the force of a tl^onsande deathes :
and now behold my determination, and what I have deyised.
You have a house not hire hence, standyng in the feeldes,
whiche you keepe for your solace and recreation in the tyme
of sommer : to this house I have devised how you maie so
secretly oonveigh me, that you maie there keepe me at your
pleasure to your owne use, and to my greate contentation,
where I male at pleasure enjoye hym, more dearely beloved
unto me then the baales of myne owne eyes. — And here
withall she fi;ave him other Judas^ kisse, that the Doctor
desired her of all freendship not to bee long in her deter*
mination, for that he was readie to foUowe her direction when-
soever it would please her to commaunde ; yea, if it were pre-
sently, he was readie.
Mistres Doritie, who had driven the matter to that passe
she looked for, saied : Naie, Maister Doctour, there resteth
yet an other thyng : my housebandes jelousie (as I tolde you)
is suche, that there muste bee greate circumspection used in
the conveighyng me awaie, and therefore give eare to that I
have devised. I have in my house a certaine male with
stuffe, that is left with me to bee sent by the carriers into the
countrie, whereof my housbande doeth knowe verie well : this
stuffe I will cause to bee secretly taken forthe, and to bee sent
to the carrier'*s trust up in some other thing, without any
knowledge to any, savyng to my maide, that shall woorke this
feate herself, whose trustinesse I knowe to bee suche, as there
is no suspition to be had in the matter : the whiche, when she
hath doen, she shall trusse up me in the same male ; then, see
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 147
that yoQ fiule not, to morowe in the evenyng, about eight of the
docke, disgoiBod in a porter^a weede, to come to my house to
enquire for the same male, whiehe yon shall saie you wiU
beare to the carrier^s. My maide, who shall of purpose bee
readie to waite for yo.ur commyng at the houre, shall mdce no
bones to deliver you this male ; and thus, without either
doubte or jealonsie of any one, you maie carrie me into the
feeldes, where for your better ease you maie take me forthe,
snd disguisyng ourselves wee maie walke together to your
house aforesaied, where I maie remaine, without any manor
of suspition or knowledge to any, so long as it shall please
yourself.
0, moste excellent devise ! (q> the Doctor). I have this
matter alreadie at my fingers endes, and I warrant you, you
shall see me plaie the porter so cunnynglie, that how many
BO ever I meete, there shall none of tliem be able to suspect
me. Thus, with a fained kisse that she againe bestowed of
hym, for that tyme thei departed.
Mistres Doritie in like manor sent for the Lawyer, whom
she handeled in like sorte as she had doen the Doctor,
makyng hym beleeve that her housebandes jealonsie was
suche, as she durst no more come in his companie ; but of her-
self she loved him so entirely, that she would hazard any
thyng for his sake : and because he should the better beleeve
it, to morrowe (% she) in the aftemoone, my housebande will
be forthe of the dores, wherefore I praie you &ile not aboute
three of the clocke to come and visite me, when we shall have
leisure to dbporte ourselves to our better contentation. Many
like enticync; wordes she used, whiehe so perswaded the
Lawier, then dreadyng no badde measure at all, he promised
her not to faile, but he would keepe his hower 5 and thus de-
parted, verie joyftdl that he had againe recovered his mistres.
And the nexte daie, even as it had stroke three of the clocke,
he was knockyng at the doore of this gentlewoman, who, look-
yng for his commyng, was readie to receive him, and up thei
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148 RICHB HIS FAREWELL
goe together to a chamber, whiche she had appointed fer the
parpose, where for a tyme she dalied hym of with deyioes,
and sodainly her maide (accordjng as her mistres had giyen
her instructions) came hastely to the chamber doore, callyng
her mistres, saiyng that her maister was come in, and had
asked for her.
Mistres Doritie, who was not to leame to plaie her parte,
1/ seemed to be striken into a wonderful feare. Alas ! ((^ she to
the Lawier) for the love of €rod keepe yourself secret for a
tyme, that I maie goe doune and ridde hym awaie, if it be
possible: and thus goyng her waie doune, she shuttes the
doore after her.
The Lawier, who was readie to bewraie hym self for feare,
crepte under the bedde, where she lette hym alone the space
of an hower ; and then commyng up into the chamber, and
could not see hym, she beganne to muse what was become of
hym. He, hearyng one was come in at the chamber doore,
beganne to prie out under the beddes feete, and perceiyyng by
the skirt of her goune who it was, with a &int voice he said,
Alas ! my deare, what newes ? is your housebande gone !
Ah, my lovyng freende ! {<^ she) I was never so hardlie
beset sith I was borne : my housebande is come home with
three or fewer of his frendes whiche he mette withall in the
citie, and bee come out of the countrey of purpose to make
merrie with hym, and here thei bee appoincted this night to
suppe, and hether bee come to their beddes so long as thei
remaine in the citie, and this chamber is appointed for twoo of
them to lye in, that for my life I knowe not what shifte to
make, nor how to conveigh you hence.
Alas ! (q^ the Lawier) then am I utterly undooen : for the
love of Qod devise some meanes to conveigh roe out of the
house, for I would not remaine all night in this perplexitie,
no, not for all the golde in the worlde.
Mistres Doritie, makyng a little pause, sodainlie, as though
she had an invention but even then come into her hedde, she
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said, I have this onely remedie left : here is in the house a
male full of stuffe, whiche should this night be sent to the
carriers ; my devise is therefore to take forthe the stuffe, and
laie it aside till somtyme the next weake, when I will make
shift to sende the stuffe awaie verie well, and you shall be
presently packed up in this male, whiche my maide shall doe
while I am below with my housebande and his freendes, and
so causyng a porter to be sent for, he shall carrie you to your
chamber, or to any other place where it shall please yourself,
so that my husebande seeyng this male got forthe of doores,
will thinke it is the stuffe whiche he knoweth this night
should be sent.
Ho better devise in the worlde (% the Lawier) and let the
porter oonveigh this male to my chamber, you knowe where,
and deliver it to my manne, as sent from his maister, and will
hym to give hym fourtie pence for his labour.
The matter thus determined, Mistres Doritie sent up her
miude with this emptie male, wherein she trussed up the
Lawier, and there she left hyin, liyng from five of the clocke
nntill it was past eight, and in the sommer season. The
weather beyng verie hotte, the Lawier had like to have been
smothered, where he laye at the length. Accordyng to poinct-
mente comes Maister Doctour, disguised like a right porter,
with a longe gaberdine doune to the calfe of his legges, and
he enquires for a male that should goe to the carriers. Yea,
Marie (% the maide), if you please to come in, it is ready for
you. The Doctor, beeyng a good sturdie lubber, tooke up the
male verie easily, for feare of brusyng the gentlewoman's
tender ribbes, whom he* had thought he had upon his backe,
and thus forthe of dores he goes, takyng the next waie to*-
wardes his lodgyng.
Mistres Doritie, with her beloved soldiour (whom she had
made privie to her devise), stoode where she might see Mais-
ter Doctor, in his porter's weede, goyng with his carriage ;
whereat, when thei had a while sported themselves, the soul-
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dionr folawed Maister Doctor an eaeie pase, bat onely to kepe
the sight of hym ; and the Doctour he tooke his waie through
the streetes with a maine pase, till he had recovered the
feeldes, where lookyng aboute hym, to see what eompanie was
Btirryng, sawe no bodie neare hym but the souldionr, whom
he did not knowe, and then crossyng the waie from the com-
mon pathes, he came to the side of a baacke, and beyng weari«
(as he was not to be blamed, eonsideryng the knavishe bar-
then that he had borne uppon his backe), he, laiyng doune the
male tenderlie nppon the side of the bancke, seeying nobodie
bat the sooldioor, who was bat a little distance from hym»
saied, Ah ! my sweete wenche, I can see no creatore stirryng
in al the feeldes but one manne, which is commyng this waie^
i^ho so scone as he is paste, I will undoe the male.
The Lawier in the male, when he felt the porter lay hym
doune, was in a good hope that he had been in his owne cham-
ber, but hearyng by these speeches that he was in the feeldes,
began to conjecture assuredly that the porter had spoken those
wordes to some woman that was in his companie, with whom
he was confederate, for the stealyns: of suche thinges as tfa^
should finde in the male, and that when thei should open the
male, and finde hym there, thei would not sticke to cut hia
throte, for feare least he should bewraie them, and for the
onely spoile of suche thyngos as he had about hym, that the
Lawier was in suche a perplexitie that he wiste not for hia
life what he might doe : one while be had thought to have
cried out for helpe ; then he thought it would the soner bryng
hym to his ende ; and as he continued thus in the mtddest of
his muse the souldiour was eome to tfie* pla^, and speakysg
to the Doctor he saied : Porter, it seemeth thou haste been
knavishly loden, for I perceive thou art very hot ; but what
^hast thou in thy male, I praie thee, that thou art carriyng
this waie so late in the evenyng! Marie ((]^ the Doctor) I
have ware there, suche as it is. Hast thou ware, knave ! (q^ the
Souldiour) is that a sufficiente aunswere! What ware is
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it ! mennes ware, or women^s ware ! Sir, I knoe not {(^ the
porter), I have but the carriyng of it to a geiitleman''s house
that is here hard by. Well (% the Souldiour), undoe your
trusse, for I will see what wares you hare there before you
and I depart. Why, sir {(^ the porter), should I be so bolde
to undoe a gentleman's male, that is delivered me in trust to
be catied! No, sir, you shall pardon me, if you were my
&ther. And herewithall he tooke the male upon his backe,
and beganne to goe his waies ; but the Souldiour, knowyng
better what was in the male then the porter hymself that
carried it, and beeyng provided for the purpose with a good
cudgell, let drive halfe a dozen bloes at the male, as it laie
upon his backe, so surely, that the Lawier cries out, Alas !
ahis ! alas ! — Why,'porter (q^ the Souldiour), have you quicke
wares in yoUr male : no mervaile, you were so dajntie in the
shewyng of it.
Here withall the Doctor laied doune his male, and kneelyng
doune to the Souldiour, said. Ah, sir ! for the love of God bee
content, and I will not let to confesse the whole truthe unto
you. I have a gentlewoman in my male, whiche I have stolne
from her housebande, and seyng you to be a gentleman, but
yong in yeres, and impossible but that you should love the
companie of a fiure woman, beholde I will deliver her unto^
you to use at your pleasure, and when you shall see tyme to
restore her unto me againe, desiryng you, sir, of all courtesie,
to seeke no other displeasure against us. You have saied
well (k^ the Souldiour) ; but is she suche a one as is to bee
liked, faire, fireshe, and yong t Trust me, sir (q^ the Doctor),
if she bee not as faire and well likyng as any dame within
the walles of this citie, make me an example to all other how
thei shall dissemble with a gentleman suche as you are. Thou
saiest well (% the Souldiour), and now I thinke long till I
haye a sight of this paragon, whiche thou haste so praised
onto me. You shall see her straight, sir (q^ the Doctor) : and
here withall he began to unlase the male with great expe^
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diiion ; whiche, when he had unloaed at the one ende, that be
might come to the sight of this genilewoman^s Ace (as he had
thought), he saied to the Soldiour, See here the sight whiche
yon so mnche desire ! and puUyng the ende of the male open
with his handes, the Lawier throste fortbe hb hedde, and
^y looked with suche a piteous conntenannce, as though he had
been readie to bee toumed of the ladder ; but the Doctor,
seyng a face to appeare with a long beard, was in suche a
maze, that he could not tell in the worlde what he might saie.
The Souldiour, who had nerer more adoe then to forbeare
laughter, to see how these twoo, the one beheld the other,
saied to the Doctor : And is this the &ire gentlewoman whiche
thou hast promised me ! Haste thou no bodie to modie but
me, that with suche commendations thou giyest praise to a
woman, wl^ereby to set my teeth an edge, and then in the
ende thus to delude me! But I will teache thee how to plaie
the knave againe while thou liyeste. And here withall he layed
on with his cudgell, sparyng neither hedde, shoulders, armes,
backe, nor breast ; and so he bumbasted the Doctor, that for
the space of a quarter of a yere after, he was not able to lift
an urinall so hye as his hedde.
The Lawier, who had nothyng out of the male but his
hedde, seeyng this fraie, struggeled so muche as he could to
have gotte forthe, and to have runne awaie, while the porter
was a beatyng ; but it would not bee, his armes were so surely
laced doune by his sides, that for his life he could not gette
them forthe.
The Souldiour, when he had throughly requited Maister
Doctour''s knaverie that he had used against his beloved mu»-
tres in his letter, left hjrm, and beganne to bende hymself to-
wardes the Lawier. The Lawier, seyng the Souldiour com-
myng, had thought verely that he had been some good fellowe
that was walkyng there so late, to have taken some prey, said:
O sir ! for the love of Qod spare my life, and take my purse : to
whom the Souldiour aunswered : Naie, villaine, my commyng
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18 neither to take thy life uor thy parse, bat to xninister re-
▼engemente for thy lai^ speeches, whiche, like a discoorteoos
wretche, thoa haste ased against a woman : and there with all
laied upon hym so long as he was able to fetch any breath,
and then callyng the porter onto hym, he saied : Let these
wordes whiche T minde to speake saffice for a wamyng to yoa
bothe : if ever I maie leame that any of yoo, hereafter this, do
use any misdemeannre towardes any woman, either by word
or writyng, assure your selves, that although I have but dallied
with you at this tyme, I wil devise some one meane or other
to minister revenge, that all suche as you bee shall take an ex-
ample by you. And thus I leave you ; goyng his waie to his
sweete harte, tellyng her the whole discourse how he had
spedde, by whom he was welcomed with a whole laste of
kisses, &c.
And now to retoume to those twoo that were lefte in the
feeldes, as you have heard. The Doctor, takyng good vewe of
the Lawyer, knewe hym verie well, but the Doctor was so dis-
guised in his porter^s apparrell, that the Lawyer did not knowe
hym, but saied unto hym : A mischeef light of all suche porters,
that when thei be put in truste with carriages into the citie,
will bryng them into the feeldes to such banquettes as these !
Marie, (% the Doctor) a mischeef take all suche burthens, that
when a manne hath almoste broken his backe with bearyng
them, and then shall receive such a recompence for his labour
as I have doen ! Villdne ! (% the Lawyer) why diddest thou
not beare me to my chamber, as thou wert willed when thou
diddest receive me ! I would I had carried thee to the gallowes
(% the Doctor) so I had escaped this scouryng; but I perceive
this banquette was prepared for us bothe. And here withall
with much adoe he got of the porter^s coate, and making him-
self knowne to the Lawyer, cache of them conferred with the
other, how cunnyngly thei had been dealt withall, and did '
thinke it not bests for them any &rther to deale in the matter,
for feave of fitrther mischeef; but with much adoe got them
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lionio, where the Lawier kept his bedde very long after. But
the Doetor tboke sparmaceti, and Buche like thynges that
bee good for a bnue, and recovered hymself in a shorte
space.
Now, it fbll out afterwardes, that this Sonldiour, who lived
in greate orediie with Mistrea Doritie, (as he had well de-
served) was itnployed in the kynges warres. against forraine
^ fooes, with a greate number of others, where he spent his life
in his princes quarrell ; and Mistres Doritie, sorrowing a long
tjme the losse of so faithfuU a freende, seeyng the diversitie
of men, that i^e had made her choise emongat three, and had
found b«t one honest, feared to &1I into any further infamie,
contented herself to live orderly and &ithfdlly with her hoos-
. band al the rest of her life : and her housebande, who never
understoode any of these actions, loved her dearely to his
diyng daie.
And now to saie somethyng of the other brother and his
wife, whiche as you have heard was suche a notskble scold, that
her housebonde could never enjoy good daie, nor merie houre.
She was suche a devill of her tongue, and would so crossebite
hym with suche tauntes and spightfuU quippes, as if at any
tyme be had been merrie in her companie, she would tell hym
his mirthe proceaded rather in the remembraunce of that she
had brought hym, then fof any love that he had to herself. If
he were sadde, it was for greef she was not dedde, that he might
enjoye that she had. If he used to goe abroad, then he had
been spending of that he never gotte himself. If he taried at
home, she would saie it was happie he had gotten suche a wife,
that was able to keepe hym so idelly. If he made any pro-
vision for good cheare, or to fare well in his house, she would
bid hym spende that whiche he hymself had brought. If he
shewed hymself to bee sparyng, then she would not pinche of
that whiche was her owne. Thus, doe what he could, all that
aver he did was taken in the worste parte ; and seyng that by
no maner of iaire meanes he was able to reclaime her, in the
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end6 he densed this waie : h jmself, with a trnstie freend that he
made of his oouasaill, gotte and pinioned her armes so fiiste,
that she was not able to nndoe them, and then pnttyng h^
into an old peticoate, which he rent and tattered in peeces of
puTpoee, and shakjng her heire loose about her eyes, tare her ,
smocke sleeves, that her armes were all beare, and s<»iitohing
ihem all over with a bramble, that the blond followed, with a
greatechune about her legge, wherewith he tied her in a darke
house that was on his backside, and then callyng his neibours
about her, he would seeme with greate sorrowe to lament his
wives distresse, telling them that she was sodainly become
lunatique ; whereas, by his geasture, he tooke so greate greefe,
as though he would likewise have runne madde for companie.
But his wife (as he had attired her) seemed in deede not to be
well in her wittes ; but, seeyng her housebandes manors, shewed
her self in her conditions to bee a right Bedlem : she used no
other wourdes but cursynges and banninges, criyng for the
plague and the pestilence, and that the devill would teare her
housb^de in peeces. The companie that were about her, thei
would exhorte her, Good neighbour, forget these idle speeches,
which doeth so muche distemper you, and call upon God, and
he will surely helpo you. — Call upon God for help ? (q^ the other)
wherein should he helpe me, unlesse he would consume this
wretche with fire and brimstone ! other helpe I have no need
of. Her housebande, he desired his neighbours, for Gk)d^s love,
that thei would helpe him to praie for her ; and thus, altogether
kneeling doune in her presence, he beganne to saie. Miserere,
whiche all theie saied after him ; but this did so spight and
vexe her, that she never gave over her railyng and ragyng
againste them all. But in the ende, her houseband, who by
this shame had thought to have reclaimed her, made her to be-
come from evil to worse, and was glad hymself, in the ende,
cleane to leave, and to get hymself from her into a straunge
conntrey, where he consumed the rest of his life.
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Thus to conclade, besides the matter that I meane to prove^
menne maie gather example here, when thej goe a wiTyng,
not to chose for beautie without vertue, nor for riches without
good conditions. There be other examples, if thei be well
marked, worth the learning, both for men and women, whiche
I leave to the discretion of the read^.
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 157
OF GONSALES AND HIS VERTUOUS WIFE
AGATHA,
THE ARGUMENT OF THE SIXT HISTORIE*
Gonsales^ prekndyng to poison his terteous mfefor the lote of a
caufieaam^ cra/oed the helpe of Alonso, a scholer^ aomethynff
practisod in phieieke, who^ in the steade of poyaon^ gone hym
apouder^ whiehe did but bryng her in a aounde sleepe duryng
certaine howers ; but GoMoksJudgynff (in deede) that hie wife
had been dedde^ caused her immediately to be buried. The
acholer dgaine^ knowyng the operation of hispoulder^ for the
greaie love he bare to Ayatha^ went to the vault where she wcu
entombed^ abouit the hower that he knewe she should awake;
ftheny after some speeches used betweene iheim^ he carried her
home to his owne house^ where she remained for a tpace. In
the meane tyme^ Gonsaies^ beeyng married to his courtisane^ was
by her abused to the Gwernowrfor ths poisoning of his first
wife ; whereof being apprehend^ he confessed thefacte^ omd was
therefore judged to dye^ whiche beyng knowne to Agatha^ she
' came to the Judge, and clearyng her hotubande of the crime^
thei lived together in perfect peace and amitie.
There was a omety me in the oitie of Siville, in Spaine, a
gentilman named GonsfUes, who, thoagh he were a man of
yeares sufficient to be staied, and to give over the wanton
pranckes of yonthfuU foUie, yet was he by nature so enclined
to foUowe his lustes, and withall do variable and so nnconstant,
that he suffered hymself to be ruled wholy by his passions, and
measured all his doynp; rather by his delightes and pleasures
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158 RIOHB HIS FAREWELL
then by sounde discourse, and rale of reason. This gentleman,
fiillyng in love with a gentlewoman of the saied citie, whose
name was Agatha, sought all the meanes he could to have her
to wife; and her freendes, although thei were well enough
enformed of the disposition of Gonsales, wherby thei might
have feared the entreatie of their kinswoman, for that thei
knewe him very riche, and her dowrie not to be very greate,
thei were well content to bestowe her uppon hym, and thought
that thei had in so dojmg placed her very well. But, before
the first yere after their marriage was fuUie expired, Gonsales,
followyng his wonted hnmour, and waxing wearie of love, grewe
to desire chaunge, givyng thereby a notable example for women
to leame, how little it is to their commoditie, or quiet, to matehe
themselves to suche that be rather riche then wise ; and how
muohe it were better for them to bee married to men then to
their goodes.
For, beeyng come to sojourne, in that streate wherein he
dwelt [lived] a notable courtesane, who to the outward shewe
was verie fidre, though inwardly she was moste foule, as die that
under a goodlie personage did cover a wicked and dangerous
minde, corrupted with all vices, as for the moste part all suche
women doen. It was Gonsales chaunce to be one of the first
that fell into those snares, whiche she had sette for suche simple
men's mindes, as haunte after the exteriour apparance of those
thynges whiche their senses make them to delight in, and not
considering the daunger whereunto thei commit themselves, by
followyng of their disordinate appetites, doe suffer themselves
to be entrapped by suche leude dames : emong whiche this,
forsoothe, was one that was of singular skill to captive men^^s
mindes*, whiche by experience and by the naturall dispoilition
of her mynde, bent wholie to deceipte and naughtinesse, had
learned a thousand giles and artes, which waie to allure men
with the plesauntnesse of her baites. Wherefore, after he was
once entangled with her snares, he fell so ferre beyond all rea-
son and past all beleef, to dote upon this strumpet, that he
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could finde no reste, nor no Gontentment, bat so long as he
was with her.
Bat she, beeyng as dissolute a dame as any lived in the
-world, and as greedie likewise of gaine as ever any was of her
profession, would not content herself with Gonsales alone, but
yeelded unto as many as list to enjoye her, if thei came with
their handes fiill, and spared for no coste to reward her libe-
rallie. Whiche thyng was unto hym, that was so besotted on
her, so greevous and so intoUerable, that nothyng could be
more.
There was at that same tyme a scholer in the citie that
studied phieicke, with whom Gonsales had £ftmiliar acquaint-
aunce ; and the SchoUer .thereby havyng accesse and conversa-
tion in his house, beganne so fervently to be in love with
Agatha, hia wife, that he desired nothing so earnestly in the
worlde as to enjoye her, and to vfinne her good will. Where->
fore, havyng (as I have said) free accesse to her house, and to
declare his affection unto her without suspition, he ceased not
by al the meanes he was able to devise to solUcite and to pro-
cure her to yeelde unto his desire. With his endevour and
eameste suite, although it were unto Agatha noysome and dis*
pleasaunt, as she that was disposed to kepe herself honest, and
that she could in that respecte have been very glad that he
would forbeare to frequent her house, yet knowyng her
housebande to be a man of no verie greate substaunce, and but V^
slenderly stuffed in the hedpeece, and that he delighted greatly
in the &miliaritie of the Scholler, she forced herself to endure
with pacience the importunate molestation whiche he still
wearied her withall; takyng from hym, neverthelesse, all
hope to obtaine at any tyme any &vour at her handes, and
cuttyng hym shorte from all occasions as muche as she could,
whereby he might have cause either to molest her, or to looke
for anything to proceade from her that were lesse then honest.
The Scholer, perceivyng that his owne travaile to win her
affection was but labour loste, thought best to trie, if by the
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160 RICUE HIS FAREWELL
allarment or perwasion of any other, he might haply moye her
to shew herself more courteous and &yoarable unto him.
Wherefore, having foande out an olde mother Elenonr, a dis-
ciple of the Spanishe Gelestina, suche a one as was most eon*
nyng and skilfhll^in moUifiyng of women^'s mindee, to woike
them afterwarde to receire the impressions of their loyers, he
caused her to take acquaintaunce of Agatha, and by degrees
(as though she had been moyed with pittie and compassion of
her case) to declare unto her the loye which her housband bare
unto the courtisane, and to showe her how unworthiehe was thai
she should be true unto hym. And in the end, passyng from
one speech to an other, she saied plunly unto her, that it was
a greate foUie, since her housebande did take his pleasures
abroade with other women, to stande to his allowances, and to
take the leavyng of his strumpets, and therewith to bee con-
tent ; and that, if she were in her case, and had ft houseband
that would strike with the sworde, she would undoubtedly re-
quite hym, and strike with the scabberde : so she counselled
her to doe likewise.
Agatha, beyng a very discrete gentlewoman, and loyyng her
housbande as an honest woman ought to doe, saied to her in
aunswere of her talke, that she would bee right glad to see her
housbande to be suche a man as she wished hyni to be and as
he ought to be ; but that since she sawe it would not be, and
that he could not frame hymself thereto, she would not take
Scorn hym or barre hym of that libertie, whiche either the cua-
tome of the corrupted worlde, or the priyiledge that men had
usurped unto themselves, had given unto them, and that she
would never, for her part, violate or breake that fiuthe whiche
she had given hym, nor slacke or neclect that care and regarde
of her honour whiche all women by kinde and nature ought to
have, as the thing that maketh them to bee most commended
throughout the worlde, let her housbande doe what he list, and
like and love as many other women as pleased hym. And
that she thought herself so niuche the rather bounde so to doe.
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because he did not in the rest misuse her any waie, or suffer
her to want anything that reasonably she could desire or crave
at his hands ; and for that she had not brought hym in effect
any other dowrie, worthie to bee accompted o^ then her ho-
nestie : wherefore, she was fully resolved never to varie from
that constant resolution. And finally, shewyng herself some^
what moved and stirred with choler, she tolde her that she
munrailed at her not a little (that beyng a woman of those
yeres) that she should rather reprehend and chide yong folke,
if she should see them so bent, then encourage them to evill,
and mused much she could finde in her harte to give her suche
counsell ; whiche she assured her was so displeasant and so
ungrateful, as if from henceforthe she durst presume to speake
thereof any more, she would make her understande, perchaunce
to her smarte, how ill she could awaie with suche pandarly
practises.
This olde hag, havyng had her head washed thus without ly^
sope, departed from Agatha, and caime unto the SchoUer and
tolde hym in breefe how ill she had sped, and in what sorte
the honest gentlewoman had closed her mouth ; whereof the
SchoUer was very sory : yet, for all this, he thought he would
Bot give over his pursute, imaginyng that there is no harte so
harde or flintie, but by long love, by perseverance, praier, and
teares, male in the ende be mollified and wrought to be tender.
In this meane season, Gonsales, still continuyng his olde
fiuniliaritie with the Scholer, and havyng made hym privie of
the love he bare unto the courtisane, and what a greefe it was
unto him to see her enjoyed by any other then by himself,
one dale, among other talke betwene them of that matter, he
saied unto the Scholer, that it never grieved hym so muche to
have a wife as it did then, for that if he had bin unmarried, he
would have taken Aselgia (for so was the courtisane named) to
be his wife, without whom he could finde no rest nor quiete in
Diynde ; and so long as every man hath a share with hym in
her, he accompted himself as ill as if he had had no parte in
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her at all: and thereto saied Airther, that assuredly if it
were not for feare of the lawe, he would ease hymself of that
burden by riddyng of Agatha out of the worlds*
Thereunto replied the Scholer, saiyng, that in deede it was
a grievous thyng for a gentleman to be combred with a
wife whom he could not finde in his harte to love ; and that
in suche a case, he that did seeke the best waie he could
to deliver hymself of that yoke, was not altogether unezeu-
sable, though the rigor of justice had appointed severe puniahe-
mentes for suche as violentlie should attempt or execute any
suche thyng : but that men, that were wise, could well enough
finde out the meanes whiche waie to woorke their entMites,
without incurryng any daunger of the lawe for the matter.
Whiche language, indeede, he used unto hym but to feede
his humour, and to see wherennto that talke in fine would
tende, and acoordyng to his desire, before it was long, Gonsales,
havyng used the like speeches twoo or three tymes, and still
findyng hym to soothe his saiyng, tooke one date a good hart«
unto him, and brake his minde unto the Scholer at large, and
in plaine termes, to this effecte.
Alonso, (for that was the scholer^s name) I doe assure my-
self, and make full accompt, that thou art my fiuite freende, as
I am thyne, and I doubte not but that the freendship whiehe
is betweene us, doeth make thee no lesse sorie then myself to
see me greeve with this continuall trouble of mynde wherein I
live, because I can not compasse to take this woman whom I
love so dearely to bee my wife, and by that meanes come to
haife the full possession of her unto myself, whiche is the thyng
I doe desire above all other thinges in the worlde. And for
as muche as I dooe perswade myself that by thy meanes, and
with the helpe of thy profession, I maie happ to finde some
remedie for my greef, I have thought good to tell thee a con-
ceit whiche I have, thought on often tymes, wherein I meane
to use thee and thy assistance for the better accomplishyng of
my purpose in that behalfe, assuryng myself that thou wilte
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not refuse or denie me any fiirtheraunce that thy skill mate
aforde me, or shrinke and drawe backe from the performyng
of any freendly offer, whereby I maie come by to finde some
ease of minde, and be delivered of that intoUerable torment of
epirite wherewith I am oppressed, tor the love of this Aselgia,
in whom I have fixed and sette all my joyes and delightes.
Then shalte, therefore, understande that I am determined, as
scone as I can possible, to ridde my handes of Agatha my
wife, and by one meane or other to cause her to dye. And I
have been a this good while about the execution of this my
entent ; but because I could never yet devise the beste waie to
performe it, so that her death might not bee laied unto my
chaige, I have delaied it hetherto, and perforce contente to
beare the heavie burthen of my grooved mynde till nowe,
whiche henceforwarde I am resolved to beare no longer, if thou
wilt, accordyng to my trust in thee and as the freendship
whiche is betweene us doeth require, graunt me thy fiirtherance
and helpyng hande. Wherefore, knowyng that through thy
long studio in phisicke thou haste attained so greate knowledge,
that thou canst devise a noumber of secretes, whereof any one
might bee suffioiente to bryng my purpose to effecte, I dooe
require thee to fulfill my desire in that behalfe, and to give me
thy helpe to bryng this my desire to passe : whiche if thou
doe, I will acknowledge myself so long as I shall live to bee so
muche bounde unto thee, that thou shalt commaunde me and
all that I have, in any occasion of thine, as freelie and as boldlie
as thou maiest now any thing that is thine owne.
The Scholer, when he had heard Gonsales andhisdemaunde,
stoode still awhile, as musyng upon the requeste, and in the
meone while discoursed with hymself, how by the occasion of
this entente and resolution of Gonsales he might perhappes
finde out a waie to come by the possession of Agatha, and to
have her in his handes and at his devotion. But, keepyng
secrete his thoughtes and meanyng, he made hym aunswere,
that true it was that he wanted not secrete compassions, to
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make foike dye with poison, so as it could never bee discerned
by any phisition or other, whether the cause were violent or
no, but that for twoo respectes he thonght it not good to yeeld
unto his requeste : the one, for that phisicke and phiSitiona
were appoineted in the worlde, not to bereve menne of their
lives, but to preserve them and to core them of suche diseases
as were danngerous and perillous nnto theim : the other, be-
cause he did forsee in what jeoperdie he should putte his owne
life, whensoever he should dispose hymself to woorke any suche
practise, consideryng how severely the lawes have prescribed
punishementes for suche offences : and that it might &11 out,
how warely soever the thing were wrought, that by some sel-
dome or unlocked for accident the matter might be discovered,
(as for the moste parte it seemeth that God will have it) in
whiehe case hewerelike toencurre-no lesse daunger then 6on-
sales, and bothe (assured) without remission to lose their lives.
And that, therefore, he would not for the first respect take
upon hym to doe that whiehe was contrarie to his profession ;
nor for the seconde^ hazarde his life to so certaine a daunger,
for so hatefull a thing as those practises are to all the worlde.
Gonsales, verie sorie to heare his deniall, told hym that the
lawes and dueties of freendship doeth dispense well enough
with a manne, though for his freende he straine sometyme his
conscience ; and, therefore, he hoped that he would not for-
sake hym in a cause that concerned hym so weightilie as that
did. And that neither of those twoo respectes (if thei were
well considered) ought to bee able to remove hym from plea-
suryng of his freende ; for that now adaies, aswell were they
accompted and estemed phisitions that killed their pacientes,
as thei that did cure them : and because the thing beyng kept
secret betweene them twoo alone, he needed not to doubt, or
feare any daunger of his life by the lawe ; for if it should by
any mischaunce happen that he should bee imputed or bur-
thened with poisonyng of his wife, he assured hym that he
would never, whilest he had breathe, confesse of whom he had
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the poison, but would rather suffer his tongue to be pulled
out of his hedde, or endure any torment that might be devised.
The SchoUer, at the laste, seemyng to bee wonne by the
eameste of his petition, saied, that upon that eondition and
promesse of not revealyng him at any tyme, he would be
content rather to shewe hymself freendlie unto hym, tben a
true professor of his science, or an exact regarder of his con-
science, and that he would doe as he would hare hym.
And, havyng lefte Gonsales verie glad and joyfall for that
his promesse, he went home, and made a certaine composition
or mixture of ponders, the vertue whereof was suche, that it
would make them that tooke any quantitie thereof to slepe so
soundlie, that thei should for the space of certaine bowers seme
unto all menne to bee starke dedde. And the nexte daie he
retoumed to Gonsales, and to deliver it unto hym, saiyng :
Gonsales, you have caused me to dooe a thyng I proteste I
would not dooe it for my life ; but since you maie see, thereby,
that I have regarded more your freendshippe then my duetie,
or the consideration of that whiche is honest and lawfiill, I
muste require you eftsones to remember your promesse, and
that you will not declare to any creature livyng, that you have
had this poison of me.
Whiche thinge Gonsales verie constauntlie upon his othe
did promise hym againe; and havyng taken the pouder of
him, asked hym in what sorte he was to use it ! And he tolde
hym, that if at supper he did caste it there upon her meate, or
into her brothe, she should dye that night followyng, without
either paine or tormente, or any greevous accidentes, but goe
awaie even as though she were asleape. That evenyng, at
supper tyme, Gonsales failed not to put the pouder into his
wife^s potage, who havyng taken it, as sone as supper was
doen, feelyng herself verie heavie and drousie, went to her
chamber and gatte her to bedde, (for she laie not with Gonsales
but when he liste to call her, whiche had been verie seldome,
since he did fall into love with the strumpet) and, withifi an
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hower after, the operation of the poader tooke saclie foroe ia
lier bodie, that she laje as though she had been dedde, and
altogether sencelesse. Gonsales, m like sort, when he sawe
his tyme,' went to his bed, and liyng all that night with a
troubled minde, thinking what would become of Agatha, and
what successe his enterprise would take, the momyng eame
upon hym before he could once close his eyes ; whiehe beeyng
come, he rose, not doubtyng but that he should assuredlie finde
his wife dedde, as Alonso had promised hym.
As soone as he was up he went out of his house, and staied
but an hower abroade, and then he retoumed home again, and
asked his maide whether her mistres were up or no. The
maide made hym aunswere, that she was yet asleape ; and he,
makyng as though he had manreiled at her long liyng in bedde,
demaunded her how it happened that she was so slug^she thai
momyng, contrarie to her custome, whiehe was to rise eyeiy
momyng by breake of the daie, and badd her goe and wake
her, for he would have her to give hym something that Uye
under her keyes. The wenche, according to her maister^s
commaundement, went to her mistres beddeside, and ha^yng
called her once or twise somewhat softely, when she sawe she
waked not, she laied her hand upon her, and givyng her a
shagge, she saied withall, Mistres, awake ! my maister calleth
for you. But she liyng still, and not awakyng for aU that the
maide tooke her by the arme, and beganne to shake her good
and hard, and she, notwithstandyng, nether answeiyng, nor
stirryng hande or foote, the maide retoumed to her maister,
and tolde hym that for aught she could doe she could not
gett her mistres to awake. Gonsales, hearyng the maide
to saie so, was glad in his mynde ; but fainyng hymself to
be busied about somwhat els, and that he regarded little her
speeche, he bidde her goe againe, and shake her till she did
waken. The maide did so, and rolled and tumbled her in
her bed, and all in vaine : wherefore, commyng againe unto
her maister, she saied unto hym, that undoubtedly she did
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beleeye that .her mistres, his wife, was dedde, for she had
founde her verie colde, and rolled her up and doune the bedde,
and that yet she stirred not.
What I dedde ! q^ Qonsales, as if he had been all agaste and
amazed ; and risyng there withall, he went to her beddes side,
and called her, and shaked her, and wrong her by the fingers,
and did all that might bee, as he thought, to see whether she
were alive. But she, not feelyng anything that he did, laie
still like a dedde boddie, or rather like a stone.
Wherefore, when he sawe his purpose had taken so good
effecte, to dissemble the matter he beganne to crie out, and to
lament, and to detest his crueil destinie, that had so sone be^
reyed hym of so kind, so honest, and so &ithfull a wife : and
haying in the ende discovered her bodie, and finding no spot
or marke whereby any token or signe of poisonyng might be
gathered, as one that would not seme to omit any office of a
loyyng husband, he sent for the phisition to loke upon her ;
who, havyng used some suche meanes as he thought mete to
make her come to herself, finally, seyng her to remaine un*
moveable, and without sence, concluded that some sodaine
accident had taken her in the night, whereof she had died, and
for dead he left her.
At whiche his resolution, though Gonsales were very glad,-
yet to the outward shewe declaryng hymself to be verie sorie,
and full of woe and heavinesse, he behaved hymself in suche
cunnyng sorte, as he made all the worlde beleeve that he would
not long live after her : and havyng called her freendes, and
lamented with them her sodaine death and his misfortune, in
fine, he caused her funerall to bee very snmptuouslie and ho-
nourably prepared, and buried her in a vaute, whiche served
for a toumbe to all his ancestours, in a churche of a frierie that
standes without the citie.
Alonso, that was verie well acquainted with the place, and
had hymself a house not verie farre from that frierie, wente his
waie that same night unto his saied house, and wheu he sawe
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168 BICHE HIS FAREWELL
the tyme to aerye for his purpose, he gatte hym to the raifte
or toombe wherein Agatha was laied, with one of these little
lanterns that thei call blinde lanterns, because thei toame them,
and hide their lite when thei liste. And because he was a
yong manne of yerie good strengthe, and had brought with
hym instrumentes of iron to open the toumbe, and lifte up the
stone that covered it, he gatte it open, and havyng under-
propped it surely, he went into the vaute, and toke the wonum
straight waie in his armes, minding to bryng her out, and earrie
bw awaie so asleape as she was. But the force and vertue of
the ponder beeyng finished and spent, assone as he moved her
she awaked out of her sleape, and seyng herself clad in that
sorte, emong ragges and dedde bones, she beganne to tremble^
and to crie : Alas ! where am I ! or who hath brought me
hether, wretche that I am ! — Marie, that hath your cruell and
unfaithfuU housebande, aunswered the Scholer ; who havyng
poisoned you, to marrie a common strumpet, hath buried you.
here, whether I come to trie if by my skill I could revive you^
and call backe your soule, by those remedies whiche I had de-
vised, unto your bodie againe: whiche if I could not have
doen as I entended, I was resolved to have died here by you^.
and to have laied my dedde bodie here by yours, to reste until
the latter daie, hopyng that my spirite should in the meane
while have come and enjoyed yours, wherever it had been.
But since the heavens have been so &vourable unto me, as in
this extreame daunger wherein you were, to graunt suehe ver-
tue unto the remedies whiche I have used toward you, as the
whiche I have been able to keepe undissolved your gentle spi-
rite with your fidre bodie, I hope (my deare) that you wil
henceforthe consider what the affection of your wicked hous-
bande hath been toward you, and how greate good will, and
by consideration thereof, disceme and resolve whiche of us
twoo hath beste deserved to be beloved of vou.
Agatha, findyng herself in tliat sort buried in deede, did
easily beleeve the truthe whiche the Scholer told her, and to
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ber-edf condaded that her housebande had shewed hymseU*, in
her behalf, a man of all other moste cmell and disloyall.
Whei&ie, toumyng herself toward the Scholer, she saied onto
hjm.
Alonso, I can not deny bnt that my housebande hath been
to me not onely nnkmde, but cruell also : nor I can not but
eonfet»6 that you have declared yourself to bee moste loyyng
and affeotioned toward me : and of force I must acknowledge
myself beholdyng unto you, of no lesse then of my life, since
(alas !) I see myself here emong dedde bodies, buried alive.
Bat for as muche, as though my housebande have broken his
TOW to me, I have not yet at any tyme fiuled my faithe to
hym, I .doe require you, that if you desire that I should
esteeme this kind and loyyng office of yours as it deserveth to
bee esteemed, or make accompt of this life whiche you haye
^ven me, you will have due regardeand consideration of myne
honestie, and that you wiU not, by offeryng me any villainie,
(whiche neverthelesse I can not any waie misdoubte, where I
have alwaies founde so muche and so greate courtesie) make
this your courteous and pitifiiU acte to bee lesse commendable
and praise worthie then it is : whiche, if you dooe bridle your
unlawMl and sensuall appetite and desire, will remaine the
moste yertnous and worthie of honour and &me, that eyer
courteous gentleman hath doen for a miserable woman, since
the worlde b^an.
Alonso &iled not with affectuall and manifest argumentes
to perswade her, that her housband had now no more right or
title to her at all ; and that although he had, yet, if she were
wise, she should not conimitte herself unto his courtesie againe,
since, by this mortall token, he had g;iyen her a sufficient tes-
timonie of his ranckor andevill will towardes her, whereby she
might well enough bee assured not to escape, whensoeyer she
should resolve to putte herself againe into his handes : and that,
therefore, she- was not to make any accompt of hym, but to
flhewe herself thankfull for so greate a benefite as she had re-
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170 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
ceived, and to requite hym so with her farour and courtene,
as he might now in the ende attune to gather the firuite of his
long and constaunte good will, and of his travell susteined for
the saffegarde of her life. And with those woordes bendyng
hymself towarde her, he would have taken a kisse of her lippes,
but Agatha, thrustyng hym backe, saied to hym again.
If my housebande (Alonso) have broken those bandes, where-
with I was knit unto hym by matrimoQie, throu^ his wicked
and leude demeanour^ yet have not I for my parte dissolved
theim, neither will I at any tyme, so long as I shall live. As
for committyng myself unto his courtesie, or goyng any more
into his handes, therein I thinke it good to foUowe your ad-
vise : not that I would bee unwillyng to live and dwell with
hym, if I might hope to finde hym better disposed, but because
I would be lothe to fall eflsones into the like daunger and
grevous perill. And as for requityng you for this your com-
mendable travaile in my behalfe, I knowe not what better re-
compence I am able to give you, then to rest bounde unto you
for ever, and to acknowledge myself beholdyng unto your cour-
tesie for my life ; whiche obligation, if it male satisfie you, I
will be as glad and as content as I male bee in this miserable
state wherein I am. But if your meanyng perchance bee, that
the losse of myne honestie should bee the rewarde and hire for
your paines, I dooe beseehe you to departe hence out of this
toumbe, and to leave me here enclosed ; for I had rather dye
here, thus buried quicke through the crueltie of my housband,
then through any such compassion or pitie to save m}' life,
with the losse of myne honour and good name.
The Scholer by those wordes perceived well enough the
honest disposition of Agatha, whiche he wondered at, oonsi-
deryng that the terror of death it self was not able once to
move her from her fidthfiilnes and constancie of minde. And
though it were grievous unto him to finde her so stediast,
yet hopyng that by tyme in the ende he might overcome her
chaste and honest purpose, aunswered, that he could not but
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. ] 71
ooDimende her for her disposition, though he deserved a kinder
reoompence of hb long and fervent love, and she a more lovyng
and faithfull housbande. But since she was so resolved, he
would frame himself to be content with what she would, and
not crave of her any thjng that she would not willingly graunt
hym to have. And therewith helpyng her out of the sepulcher,
he led her home unto his house, and lefte her there with an olde
woman that kept his house, to whom he recomended her, and
whose helpe he was assured of,. to dispose the good will of
Agatha towardes hym, and the next momyng retoumed into
the citie.
Gonsales, after a fewe dales, seeming not to be able to live
without a wife to take care of his &milie, wedded that honest
dame, Aselgia, and made her mistres of hymself and all that
he had. This, his newe manage, so sone contrived, caused
the freendes of Agatha to marvaile not a little, and to. mis-
doubte that the sodaine death of their kinsewoman had not
happened without some misterie. Neverthelesse, havyng no
token, nor evidence, or profe, thei helde their peace. But
Gonsales havyng his desired purpose, and livyng with his
newe wiib, it befell unto hym (through Goddes just judgement
with this his joly dame) as it chaunced to Agatha with hym
before; for Aselgia, that was never wont to feede with so
spare a diet, as she that had never bin contented before with-
out greate chaunge, nor had not bin used to that kinde of
straightnes (which Gonsales, s^rowing jelous of her, began to
keepe her in), but had alwaies lived at libertie, and with suche
licentiousnesse, as women of her pn^ession are wont to doe,
became in shorte space to shewe herself so precise unto hym,
and to hate and abhorre hym in suche extreme sorte, that she
could not abide to see, or heare hym spoken of: by occasion
of whiche her demeanour towardes hym, Gonsales, to his
greefe, began at last to knowe and to disceme what difference
there is betweene the honest and carefoll love of an ' honest
wife, and the dissemblyng of an arrant strumpet. Wherefore
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172 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
one dale, among the rest, complainyng of the little lore whiehe he
perceived she bare hym, and she aunsweryng hym thawartly,
Gonsales, fallyng into heate of choler, saied angerly unto her.
Have I, thou naaghtie packe, poysoned Agatha for thy sake,
that was the kindest and the lovingest wife that ever man
had ! and is this the rewarde I hare, and the requitall thou
yeeldest me, to shewe thyself every daie more despighteAiU and
crabbed than other ! — Aselgia havyng heard hym, and noted
well his wordes, tooke holde of them, and straight waie thought
that she had founde the waie to rid herself of Gonsales :
wherefore she revelled his speeches unto a ribalde of hers,
such a one as supplied her want of that which €ronsales alone,
nor ten suche as he were able to satisfie her withall, and in-
duced hym to appeache hym for that facte, assuryng herself
that the lawe would punishe hym with no lesse then death,
and thereby she to remaine at libertie to dooe what she list
againe, as she had doen before. This companion accused
Gonsales upon his owne wordes unto the freendes of Agatha,
who, havyng had halfe a suspition thereof before, went and
accused him likewise before the judge, or hed magistrate of
the citie ; whereupon Gonsales and his woman were both ap-
prehended, and put to their examinations, to searche out the
truthe ; which Gonsales being halfe convicted by the confes-
sion of the gentle peate, his newe wife, but chiefly grieved
with the worme of his owne conscience, and to avoyde the
torment of those terrors which he knewe were prepared for
him, confessed flatly, affirmyng that he had poysoned her with
a poysone which he had kept of long tyme before in his house,
perfourmyng yet therein the promise whiche he had made
unto the Scholer. And upon his owne confession sentence was
given against hym, that he should loose his hed.
Alonso, when he understoode that Gonsales was condemned
to dye, was very glad thereof, supposyng that he beeyng once
dead, Agatha (who all this while, for anythyng that the olde
woman could sale or alledge unto her in the behalfe of Alonso,
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would never yeeld or consent to any one poincte wherein her
hoHour might have beene touched or spotted) should remaine
at his discretion, and that she would no longer refuse to
graunt hym her good will, when she should see her self deli-
vered of Gtmsales. But the daie beyng come wherein he was
to be put to execution, she havyng had inteligence of all that
had passed, and knowyng that he was appointed to dye that
daie, determined with herself that she would in that extremitie
deUver her disloyall housebande, and give hym to understande
how little she had deserved to bee so entceated by hym as she
had be^i. Wherefore, havyng gotten out of Alfonso his house,
she hied her unto the citie as fast as she could, and beeyng
before the justice or magistrate she saied unto him : Sir, Gon-
sales, whom you have condemned and commaunded to be put
to death this daie, is wrongfully condemned ; for it is not true
that he hath poysoned his wife, but she is yet alive, and I am
she : therefore, I beseehe you, give order that execution maie
be staied, since that your sentence grounded upon a false
enformation and confession, is unjust, as you maie plainly
disceme, by me beyng here.
When the govemour heard Agatha speake in this sorte,
whom he had thought to have been deade and buried, he was
all amazed, and halfe afiraied to looke upon her, doubtyng that
she was rather her spirite or ghoste, or some other in her like-
nesse, then a lively woman in deede ; for she was apparelled
in a very plaine and black attyre, and was very wanne and
pale, by reason of the affliction whiche she had indured, first
for her owne ill fortune, and then for the mischaunce of her
housband.
In this meane while the sergantes and officers had brought
Oonsales before the justice or magistrate, to the ende that he
(accordyng to the custome of the citie) should give them com-
maundement to leade hym to the place of execution, and there
to fulfill his sentence upon him ; but as sone as Agatha per-
ceived hym, she ranne unto hym, and takyng hym aboute the
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174 RIGHB HIS FAREWELL
necke, and kissing him, she said, Alas ! my deare housebande,
whereunto doe I see you brought through your owne folly and
disordinat.e appetite, which blinded your judgement i Behulde
here your Agatha alive, and not deade ; who even in this ex-
tremitie is come to shewe herself that lovyng and &ithftill wife
unto you that she was ever.
The justice or govemour, seyng this straunge accident,
caused execution to be staled, and signified the whole case
unto the lorde of the countrey, who at that tyme chaunced to
be at Sciville : who, wonderyng no lesse then the other at the
matter, caused bothe Gonsales and his wife to be brought be-
fore him, and demaunded of them how it had chaunced that
she, havyng bin buried for deade, was now found alive ? Gon-
sales could saie nothyng, but that for the love he bare unto
Aselgia he had poysoned his wife, and that he knewe not how
she was revived againe. But Agatha declared how the SchoUer,
with his skill, had delivered her from death, and restored her
life unto her, but how or by what meanes she could not tell.
The Lorde havyng sent for Alonso, and demaunded hym of
the truth, was certified by hym, how that in steede of poison
he had given to Gonsales a ponder to make her sleape ; af-
firmyug likewise, that notwithstandyng the long and eameste
pursuite whiche he had made to obt'aine her love, and the
crueltie and injurie whiche she sawe her housebande had used
towarde her, to put her in that daunger and perill of her life,
out of whiche he had delivered her, yet could he never by any
perswasion or entreatie winne her to fulfill his desire, or bryng
her to make breache of her fiuthe and honestie. • By whiche
reporte the Lorde knewe verie well, that in an honest woman
the regarde and respect of her honour and chastitie doeth ferre
exceade any other passion, for any miserie, be it never so
great ; and commendyng highly the love and constancie of the
woman towarde her housebande, and praisyng the pollicie of
Alonso, he toumed hymself unto Gonsales, and saied unto
hym. Full evill hast thou deserved to have so good and so
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 175
verteoiifi a gentlewoman to thy wife, and in reason she ought
now rather to be Alonso his wife then thine: neither wert
thou worthie of lease then that punishment which the lawe
hath condempned thee unto, though she be yet alive, since thou
as much as in thee laye hast doen to bereve her of her life ; but
I am content that her yertue and goodnesse shall so muche
be available unto thee, that thou shalt have thy life spared
unto thee for this tyme. Not for thy owne sake, because thou
deservest it not, but for hers, and not to give her that sorowe
and greefe whiche I knowe she would feele, if thou shouldest
dye in that sorte ; but I sware unto thee, that if ever I male
understande that thou dooest use her henceforth otherwise
then lovyngly and kindely, I will make thee, to thy greevous
paine, prove how severely I can punishe suche beastly and
heinous factes, to the example of all others.
Cronsales, imputyng his former offence to want of witte and
judgemente, made promis unto the Lorde that he would
alwaies dooe as he had commanded hym ; and aecordinglie,
havyng forsaken cleane that baggage strumpette that he had
wedded, he lived al the rest of his daies in good love and
peace with Agatha Ids wife ; whose chaste and constant minde
eaused Alonso, where before he loved her for her exterior
beauty, ever after to reverence her, and in maner to worship
her as a divine creature, for the excellencie of her vertue,
resolving with hymself, that a more constaunt &ithe and
honest disposition could not bee founde in any mortall woman.
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OP ARAMANTHUS, BORNE A LEPER.
THE ARGUMENT OF THE VII HISTORIE.
Aramanthus^ foonne to Rodericke^ Kyng of Tolasia^ beeyng
borne a kper^ teas sent by hie father to the He of Candy for
remedie^ and by a tempeste at the sea the jshippe teas driven
into Turkie^ where she was ccute atoaie^ and no manne saved
but the childe; tehiche teas taken up by a poore fisherman^ and
fostered as his oumesoonne^ and afterwardes^ ^ervyng the Turke
in his warres^ shewed himself so politique^ that the Turke, by
his onely advise, incroached muche upon the Christians, and^
in fine, by his meane, the City of Tohsia was taken, his father
put in prison, and how in the ende he teas knowne to bee the
soonne of Bodericke.
I shall not neede by any long circumataonce to discribe
how many troubles, tumultes, broyles, brabbles, murthers, trea-
sons ; how many kingdomes have been disturbed, how many
countries laied waste : how many cities have been racked, how
many tonnes have been rased, and how many mischeefes have
ever happened, sithence the firste creation of the worlde untill
this present daie, by that monsterous vice, ambition, con-
sideryng'that every historic maketh mention, every chronicle
beareth recorde, and every age, tyme, and season, have seen
with their eyes, and this our tale that foUoweth shall some-
thyng make more evident.
There was sometyme remainyng in the famous citie of
4 Tolosia a worthie k'3^g, whose name was Bodericke, who was
likewise espoused to a moste vertuous queene, called Isabell :
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and iraely a happie court it might bee called, whiche thei
held, as well for the love that was betweene the kyug and
qaeene, aa for the vertae and clemencie wherewith bothe the *
one and the other were accompanied.
There was remainyng in the coort the Duke of Garia, who ^
was the onely brother of Bod^ricke, Kyng of Tolosia. This
Duke, beejmg a greate deale more vicious then his brother was
verteous, practised no other thing, but how he might come by
the kyngdome of Tolosia ; knowing that there were no more
betweene hym and it but the Kyng, who loved hym more
dearely by a greate deale then he deserved. But it fell out
the Queene Isabell was knowne to bee with childe, the Duke,
verie lothe that any other heires should steppe in betwene
hym and home, devised to poyson the Queene, and so had
thought to have doden by as many as the Kyng should have
taken to wife (if at any tyme thei proved to be with child),
but by the providence of Qod this poyson tooke no greate
effeete in the Queene, saving that when she was delivered of a
Sonne, the child was founde to be in a notable leprosie : and ^
the Kyng, havyng intelligence of an excellent phisition (but
especially for the curying of that disease) was remainyng in
the isle of Candy, prepared a ship presently to sende the
ehilde, whiche by the extreamitie of a contrarie winde was
driven into Turkie, and the shippe caste awaie uppon the
maine, and all the menne drouned exceptyng the childe, whiche
beyng in a cradle was carried to the shore as it laye ; where a
fisherman founde it, with suche sumptuous furnitures aboute
it, with a verie riche Jewell hangyng aboute the necke. He
tooke it up in his armes, and cariyng it home, with bathes and
homely oyntmentes of his owne devising, within a very little
space the childe was restored to perfecte health, whom he
called. Aramanthus, and brought hym up as his owne sonne^
the childe knowyng no other in deede, but that the fisherman
had been his father. And as Ammanthus grewe in yeres, so
he proved of a verie comely personage, but of a moste excel-
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lent and perfecte witte, although he had no other trainyng up,
but used to goe to the sea with his &ther a fishyng.
Now, it fell out that the Tnrke was leaviyng a mightie
arniie, to set upon the Cristians : the cause was this : he had
twoo children, a sonne and a daughter; the daughter, her
name was Florella, whose beautie was yerie excellent, and
minding to matche his daughter with some noble prince, he
pretended that suche countries, cities, tonnes, castelles, f^^rtes,
or whatsoever he could by conquest get from the Christians,
to give them all for his daughter's dowrie.
Aramanthus, hearyng of this preparation to the warres,
would needes become a souldier, whereat his &ther, the fisher-
man, was greatly displeased, and beganne to preache unto his
Sonne of the incommodities of warre, and with how many mi-
series souldiers are besieged. Aramanthus, whose basenesse
' of his bringyng up could not conceale the nobility of his
birthe, would in no wise be perswaded, but goe he would ; and
beyng pressed for an ordinarie souldier, when he came to the
place of service shewed hymself so valiant, and in verie shorte
space became to be so expert, that that captaine under whose
ensigne he served bare awaie the credite from all the reste ;
and in the ende was hymself preferred to charge, whiche he
governed with so greate discretion, and still conducted with
suche celeritie and sleight, that who but Armanthus and his
companie had the onely name throughout the Turkes campe :
and where there was any attempt to be given, where valiancie
should bee showne, Aramanthus he must give the charge ;
and where any policie must bee put in practise, Aramanthus
he must laye the platte : that, to bee shorte, he grewe into
suche credite with the greate Turke hymself, that Araman-
thus onely gave hym consaill in all his afiaires, and there
withall had so good successe, that his practises stil prevailed,
and came to happie ende, that the Turke by his advise had
dooen wonderftill spoiles upon the Christians, and had taken
from them many cities, tonnes, and provinces. And thus,
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leavyng them in the warres for a season, I will convaye.my
tale againe to Isabella queene and wife to Bodericke, who
was now the second time knowne to be with child ; whereat
the Duke of Garia beyng wonderfully wrothe, pretendyng to
finde a qnicke dispatche for all together, he secretly accused
the Queene of adulterie to the King, his brother, and with
Buche allegations and fiilse witnesses as he had provided, so
enformed the king, that his tale was credited : and the rather
for the Kyng, knowyng his Queene to bee with child, did
thinke hy mself too &rre spent in yeres to dooe suche a deede ;
and yet the Kyng was replenished with so greate pitie, that
he could not endure to heare of her death : he therefore by a
messenger commaunded her presently to departe the court, and
in paine of her life never after to come in his presence. These
newes did wonderftilly amaze the Queene, who, with many
piteous intercessions, desired to knowe her accusers, and that
she might but speake for herself before his Majestie, and then,
as he should finde her, to use her accordyng to her deseites i
but all in vaine, for the Duke had so throughlie incensed the
King, that he would neither abide to see, nor heare her.
The Duke, understandyng how matters had passed, came to
the Queene, and seemed muche to lamente her case, per*
swadyng her to holde herself contented for a little season, not
doubtyng but in tyme that he hymself would so perswade
with his brother, that she should bee heard to speake in her
owne defence : in the meane season, if it pleased her to use
his house in the eountrey, he would provide for her all manor
4>f necessaries whatsoever she should want ; and for her better
comfort, if she had any assured freendes, whose companie shd
desired, that she might secretly sonde for theim to holde her
fellowshipp, and to passe the tyme; and that he hymself
would many tymes visite her, and daiely enforme her how
matters did passe in her behalfe with the Kyng his brother.
The poore Queene, thinkyng all had proceaded of good will
whiche this traitour had proferred, gave him more than a
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180 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
thousande ihankes, reposyng herself, and the innocencie of her
cause, onely in this Judas, who practised nothyng els but her
death, and the death of that she went withall.
The nexte daie he provided a couple of ruffians, suche as
he knewe were for his purpose, whiche should have secretely
conveighed her to the Duke's house (as she had thought) ;
but as the Duke had willed them, as thei rode over a forest,
when they came to the side of a woode, they took her from
her horse, spoiled her of suche thynges as were aboute her,
and niynded to have killed her, and throwne her in some
bushe. But it fell out that there were certaine banished menne
in the woode, whiche lived in that desarte in manner of out-
lawes, and hearyng the piteous complainte of the Queene thei
came to her rescue ; but the villaines, that would have slain
her, perceivyng them, fledde and left the Queene, where these
outlawes came unto her, unto whom, from point to point, she
declared every thyng, how it was happened unto her. The
outlawes, havyng greate compassion when thei knewe her to
be the Queene, for that thei had ever heard her to be noblie
reported on, brought her with theim to their cave, where thei
ministered suche releef to her distresse as menne might dooe
that were in their estates. The Queene, thinkyng that God
had preserved her life to some better purpose, contented her-
self for a season to remaine emongest theim, where she learned
to plaie the cooke, and to dresse their meate, suche as thei
brought in, or could provide for in the forest. And thus,
leavyng the Queene with these outlawes, I will retoume againe
to speake of Aramanthus, whf> was now devisyng to frame a
plotte, how he might betraie the citie of Tolosia, whereof his
father was kyng, as you have heard.
For the Turke havyng intelligence of the pleasauntnesse of
this citie, and of the wonderfuU wealthe and riches wherewith
it did abounde, and therewithall had learned that it was of
suche force and inviusible strengthe, that there was no manner
of hope how it might be subdued, whereat the Turke was verie
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sorrowfuU and sadde ; but my yoDg fisherman, Aramanthus,
whose cunnyng never failed where courage could not helpe,
caused the Turke, with his whole armie, by sea to come before
this citie, which is situate &ste upon the sea side, and there
to come to an anker, where Aramanthus hymself, as a mes-
senger appointed from the Turke, came to the Kyng of To-
losia, to whom he told this tale : That the Turke, his maister,
l^'^T^g ^11 ^^ divers partes of Christendome, where he had
made warres a long space, and upon divers considerations
mindyng to departe with his armie into his owne countrey for
a season, and beyng upon the seas, one night as he was liyng
upon his bedde, beholde a vision appeared unto hym in a
dreame, whiche shewed hym how greevously he had ofiended
the God of the Christians in persecutyng, spoilyng, and the
murtheryng of theim, as he had doen in this journey ; and for
that he should knowe that the Christian God was the moste
hi<i^h and Almightie God indeed, whom with his tyrannic he
had so displeased, he should bee creepled of all his limmes
from that tyme forthe till his diyng daie, whiche should verie
shortlie followe : with this he awaked, and givyng a piteous
grone, suche as was about him commyng unto hym, founde
hym in a wounderfoU maze, and so benummed in all his
partes, that he was not able to stirre hande nor foote. The
next daie, callyng his counsailers and captaines aboute hym,
not able of hymself to come forthe emongest theim, but as he
was brought out of his cabbin on men^s backes, he declared
unto theim the whole circumstance of the premisses, and beyng
striken with a wonderfiiU remorse in conscience, he determined
to saile backe againe, not myndyng to depart from out those
partes of Christendome till he had made satisfaction of all
suche spoiles and outrages as he had committed againste the
Christians, and hymself with his whole armie to become
christened, and there to be instructed in the true and perfect
fiuth : and as he continued this determination, beholde a con-
trary winde hath driven us on these partes, where hearyng of
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182 RIGHE HIS FAREWELL
the fame of this noble citie of Tolosia, he hath sent me unto
your grace, desiryng nothyng bnt your saffe conduct for hym-
self, and certaine of his cheef lordes and counsailers that be
aboute hym, that in this noble citie thei might be baptized,
and receive the Christian &ithe, promisyng hereafter not onely
to joyne in league and perfecte amitie with the Christians, but
also to lincke with them in religion, hymself, his countries,
kyngdomes, and provinces.
This t^le was not so smothly tolde, but there was greate
dpubte and suspition had in the matter : in the ende, thinkyng
thei could receive no prejudice by receivyng of so small a
nomber, gave safe condite for the Turke hymself, and for five
hundred of his companie, such as it pleased hymself to appointe.
The next daie the Turke was brought into the citie on
mennes shulders, with his appointed companie, where he was
worthely received by the Kyng hymself, with the rest of his
lordes, and brought into a pallace of purpose, verie richely
furnished, where beyng laied doune upon a bed, as though he
had been able neither to stande nor sit, and givyng the Eyng,
with the rest of his companie, greate thankes for his enter-
tainment, he desired hym, with the Duke his brother (ac-
cordyng to the custome) to be his godfathers when he should
be christened, to whiche request thei bothe willingly agreed.
The next daie the Turke hymself was the first that received
Christendom e, and then all the reste of his noble menne that
were wyth hym, the whiche beeyng finished, many godlie ex-
hortations were preached unto theim by learned men. The
Turke seemed in verie gratefull maner to take this courtesie
wherewith the Eyng had used hym; and thus takyng his
leave, hymself with all his companie departed againe aborde
the shippes, the Turke hymself beyng caried upon mennes
backes, making showe as though he had been so feeble and
weake, that he had not been able to have mooved or stirred
any one joynt without heipe, fainyng that he would have
departed with his companie into Turkic.
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 183
. The Kyng of Tolosia, with all his people and citezens,
sejng with what devotion the Torke, with the rest of his
eompanie, had received christendome, beganne to thiuke as-
saredlj, that onely by the devine providence of God the Turke
was so converted, and doubted nothyng of the tale whiche
Aramanthas before had tolde them, whiche toumed in the
ende to their utter subversion : for the next daie Aramanthus
commyng againe to the Kjng, brought woorde of the death
of the Turke, and with a piteous discourse, uttered with a nom- v/
ber of &ined sighes, saied, that aboute twelve a docke of the
night paste the Turke deceased, and desired at the houre of his
death, that as in this worthie citie he had received the true
Gatholike faithe, so likewise that he might be entoumbed, and
receive Christian buriall in the cathedrall churche, to the
whiche he had given by his will fourtie thousande frankes ; \
more to the common treasure of the citie a hundred thousande
frankes ; to the Kyng himself, as a president of his good will,
a riche jeweU, whiche hymself did weare, of greate estimation ;
to the Duke, his brother, his owne armour and furniture.
Item, to the releef of the poore within the citie tenne thou-
sande frankes. Many other thynges {<y Aramanthus) he hath
bequeathed that I have not spoken of, the whiche, God willing,
shal be performed to the uttermoste.
The Kyng seemed greatelie to lamente the death of the
Turke, and began to conjecture assuredly that it was the
will of God but to preserve his life till he had received chris-
tendome, but the tyme of his buriall was deferred for cer-
taine dales, till thynges might be provided, and more readie
for the pompe and solempnisyng of his iunerall ; and wonder-
full cost was bestowed by Aramanthus, who had the onely
orderyng of the matter, hopyng in the ende to receive the
whole commoditie, and also to be rewarded with a large and
bountifull intrest. The daie of buriall beyng at hande, Ara-
manthus desired the Kyng, that for so muche as the Turke
had finished his daies in the middest of his armie, emongst his
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souldiers, that he might likewise be buried like a noble cap-
taine, and accordjng to the maner of the feeld, he might he
brought to his grave with certaine bandes, trailing their wea-
pons, as the castome of sonldiers is to burie their dedde. This
request seemed to bee verie conyenient, and therefore was the
readlier graunted. But what should I stand with long cir-
cumstaonce to discipher all the ceremonies that were used in
this treason i The daie was come that this practise must be
put in ure, and an emptie coffin solempnlj brought to the citie,
under showe of greate sorowe, when they were al filled with
greate joye and gladnesse to see what happie successe was like
to followe of that thei had premeditated : and, accordjng as
Aramanthus had given order, five thousande of their choise men
were appoincted to marche, the one halfe before, and the other
halfe after the coffin, trailyng their ensignes and weapons ; and
in this maner thei entered the citie, where the Kyng, with his
nobles and principalles of the citie, were readie in moumyng
weedes to accompanie the corse.
When Aramanthus sawe his tyme the alarum was given,
and he hymself was the first that laied handes of the Kyng
his father : the rest of his nobles were so enclosed, that there
could not one of them escape : defence there was none to be
made, for the one side were in armes, killyug and murthering
of as many as thei could see stirryng in the streates, the other
side unprovided, glad to hide themselves for the savegard of
their lives. The reste of the fleete were likewise in a readi-
nesse, and ronnyng a lande, entered the citie, where there was
no manne to repulse theim.
And thus the famous citie of Tolosia was taken by the
Turkes, even in a moment, without any maner of resistaunce.
The churches and prisons were filled fuU of Christians, where
thei were whipped, racked, and tormented to the death, unlesse
thei would forsake their &ithe: the Kyng hymself, with his
brother and all the lordes, were committed to prison, there to
\ be fedd with bread and water, (and yet to be scantled with
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 185
suche short alowance, as it was not able to suffice nature) and
80 to be dieted, unlesse thei would forsake their faithe.
Now the Turke, who onely by the meanes of Aramanthus
had conquered firom the Christians so many cities and tounes,
for the love he bare unto hym, and in respecte of his service,
determined to make Aramanthus his soonne in lawe, and to
give hym his daughter Florella for his wife, and for her dowrie,
all suche partes as he had taken from the Christians by con-
quest : and understanding that the &ther of Aramanthus was
but a poore fisherman, he pretended likewise to make hym a
duke, and to give hym Uvyng to maintaine his estate. The
Turke, therefore, with all possible speede, hasted messengers
with shippyng to bryng his daughter, with the olde fisherman
the supposed &ther of Aramanthus, to this citie of Tolosia,
where he minded to performe that he had determined.
Now, it fell out that the miserable Queene Isabel (whom you
have heard was left with child, remainyng with certaine out-
lawes) was delivered of a daughter, whiche she herself nursed
in the cave, where she had remained ; and hearyng that the
Turke had taken the citie of Tolosia, would needes goe see
what was become of the Kyng her housebande. Her daughter,
whiche was not yet fully a yere old, she committed to the out-'
lawes, to bee fostered with suche homely junkettes as thei could
provide, who, seyng her determination, promised to drie nurse
the child so well as thei could till she should make retoume.
Thus, preparyng herself in a verie simple attire, with a bon-
dell of broomes on her hedde, she came to the citie of Tolosia,
where, roming up and doune the streates to sell her broomes,
she learned all that had happened to the Kyng, and how he
was readie to perishe, for want of foode and sustenance : where-
fore, myndyng to give such succours as her habilitie would
serve, she devised, in the maner of a poore servaunt, to gette
into the service of the Turke, who was the jailer and had the
custodie of the Kyng, where, every night, as oportunitie would
serve, she conveighed to hym, through a grate, suche frag-
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186 BICHE HIS FAREWELL
mentes as she spared out of her owne beallie, whiche were verie
shorte, and there withall muche more homelie, bat somethyng
the better to amende his cheare, she would lean herself cloase
to the grate, and thrustyng in her teate betwene the irons, the
Eyng learned againe to sucke ; and thus she dieted him a long
season.
Neither wiste the Kyng what she was, that bestowed on
hym so greate grace and goodnesse, yet he blessed her more
then a thousande tymes a daie ; and although there were
many of his companie that died for wante of sustenaunce, yet
he againe, with these banquettes, recovered hymself, and began
to waxe strong. Whereat the Turke beganne to suspecte
some parciallitie in the jailer, and caused a privie watche to
bee kepte ; but Isabell, suspectyng nothyng, accordyng to her
accustomed manor, at night when it was darke, came to her
nurserie, where her order that she so long used was espied ;
and beeyng apprehended by the watche, the next daie she was
presented to the Turke, and in what maner thei had founde
her. Whereat the Turke, wonderfullie agreeved, sware by Ma-
hounde hymself that she should presentlie bee tortured,
with the greatest tormentes that might be devised ; and in
the middest of his furie, woorde was brought hym that his
daughter Florella, with the fisherman that was &ther to Ara-
manthus, were arrived, and readie to present themselves before
hym : whereat the Turke wonderfullie rejoyced, and callyng
Aramanthus, caused them to bee brought in. Florella gave
that reverence to the Turke, whiche bothe appertained to the
duetie of a childe, and also as belonged to his estate : Ara-
manthus, likewise, although he were the greateste counsailour
apertinent to the Turke, yet used that duetifuU reverence to
the fisherman his father, as is to bee required in a childe. The
Turke, imbracyng his daughter Florella, tolde her the cause
that he had sent for her was to espouse her to Aramanthus,
who, although the destinies had denaied to make noble by place
of birthe, yet through his vertues, valiaunce, and worthie ex-
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ploitee, he had gained the title of trae nobilitie, in despite of
Fortune^s teeth. Florella, havyng heard of the &me and wor-
thinesse of Aramanthus, was the beste pleased woman in the
worlde ; and the Tonrke, tournyng hym towardes the fisher-
man, saiedy And a thonsande tjmes happie art thoo, old
fitther, that haste lived to see thyself so highly exalted in thy
ofispring.
The poore fisherman, kneelyng donne, saied : Moste mightie
and magnificente prince, not mindyng longer to conceale the
thing whiche might redounde so greatly to the contentation of
sdche worthie personages, seyng then that Aramanthus, who
onely through his owne valianncie hath aspired to so greate
dignitie and honour, how greatly were I then to be blamed,
and how worthely might I be condemned, if I should take
upon me to bee the sire of hym, who by all likelihoode is de-
scended of roiall and princelie race : for better testimonie, be-
hold this riche mantell, and these other costly fiimitures,
wherein I founde Aramanthus wrapped, and, by seemyng, saved
by his cradell, whiche brought hym a shoore from some shippe
that was wracked, where I founde hym by the sea side, (as I
saie) wrapped in these sumptuous fiimitures, with this riche
and precious jewell about his necke, beyng but an infaunte, by
conjecture not above the age of a quarter of a yere ; where,
takyng hym up in my armes, I brought hym home to my
house, called hym by the name of Aramanthus, and thus fos-
tered hym up as my owne child, untill the dale that he came
to serve your majestic in the warres.
TheQueene Isabell, whiche stoode by and heard this discourse,
and seyng the furnitures, and the jewelles wherwith she had
decked her childe, assuryng herself that Aramanthus was her
soonne, could no longer staie her speeche, but saied : And doe
I then beholde my sonne with my unhappie eyes ? is he living
here in presence whom I deemed to bee dedde! Oh, moste
gracious goddes ! I yeelde you humble ihankes. And would to
God, my soonne, thy commyng had been but halfe so happie
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as thy presence is joyfiill to me, thy wretched mother ! — What
newes be these (q^ the Turke) which I heard ; I think the
woman be out of her wittes. But what art thou that wouldest
chalenge Aramanthus for thy sonne, whose parentes, now I
wel perceive, are no beggars like thyself! — Yes, surely, (q^ the
Queene) and much more miserable then those that goe from
doore to doore, and although his &ther sometyme swaied the
sworde of govemement, and satt in place and seate of princely
throne. — Dispatche then at once, (q^ the Turke) and tell me
who is his father, and what is the miserie wherewith he is
perplexed : wherein if thou canst perswade me with a truth,
assure thee that, onely for Aramanthus sake, I am the man
that will minister release.
Behold then, (q, the Queene) Eyng Bodericke is his father,
whom thy self keepest here in pryson, in this miserable manor ;
and I, whom thou seest here, am his mother, the wyfe of the
Kyng, and sometyme the Queene of this wretched citie of
Tolosia : who beyng delivered of a soonne, whiche by the plea-
sure of God was visited in my wombe, and borne in an ex-
treame leprosie, for helpe whereof he was sent by his &ther
by shippyng to the ile of Candy, and till this presente daie
there was never tidynges heard, either of the shippe, or of any
one man that was in her. And now, beholde ! I see with myne
eyes the furnitures wherein I wrapped my childe, and the
Jewell whiche I put about his necke with myne owne handes at
his departure. The fisherman, verifybg this tale to be true,
saied indeede that he found him in an extreame maladie, which
he cured himself with medicines of his own providing.
Aramanthus, havyng heard how matters were sorted out,
beganne to teare hymself, saiyng, Ah, moste wicked and un-
naturall wretche ! what friries have saved thee, that thou wert
not dround with the reste, but that thou must be preserved as
an instrument to woorke thy parentes wracke ! Gome, come,
you hellishe hagges, and shewe your force on hym that hath
worthely deserved it. But what hath Tantalus offended, that
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TO HILITARIE PROFESSION. 189
he should continually bee sterved ! or how hath Sisiphus, that
rowles the restlesse stone ! or what trespasse hath beene com-
mitted by Prometheus, Ixyon, Titian, or Danaus sillie daughters,
drawyng water at the welle, that maie bee compared to that
whiche I have dooen t is it possible, then, that I should escape
unpunished, or that the sacred goddes will be unrevenged of my
&cte? No, no; I have deserved to bee plagued, and have
merited more worthely to bee tormented then any of these afore
rehearsed.
Florella, overhearyng these desperate speeches, fell doune
in a Bowne, for greef to see her Aramanthus so disquieted.
The Turke, after his daughter was come againe to herself, sor-
rowed to see the heavinesse of Aramanthus, caused the Kyng
his father, with the Duke of Garia, presently to be sent for out
of prison ; and taking Isabell on the one of his handes, and
Aramanthus on the other, he sayed to the Kyng: Receive
here, noble prince, a moste lovyng and faithAiU wife, and a
moste valiaunt and worthie soonne; and myself, from an
enemie, for ever after this to become thy moste assured and
trustie freende.
The Kyng was wonderftilly amazed to heare these speeches^
did thinke hymself to bee in some dreame, till in the ende he
heard the whole discourse how every thyng had happened, and
beyng ravished with gladnesse, he saied : ! happie evill,
whiche bryngeth in the ende so greate a good i and welcome bee
that sorrowe, whereby is sprong a joye muche more sur-
mountyng then ever was any heavinesse. And with many like
speeches, he still embraced his sonne Aramanthus in his armes ;
and although he understoode that it was the Queene, his wife,
which so lovyngly had succoured hym, when he was readie to
have famished in the prison for want of meate, yet he could
not finde in his harte to beare her any countenaunce, consi-
deryng what he had conceived against her, by the information
of his brother, (as before you have heard) whiche beyng per-
ceived by the Duke, moste humbly desiring forgivenesse, he
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confessed to the Eyng al his mischeef, from the beghinyng to
the endyng, whereof the Kyng was bothe sorie and glad : sorie,
for that he had so unnatorallj dealt with so yertnons and
coarteous a wife, and glad, for that he was so resolved and con-
firmed in her chastitie, whiche before he had in suspence.
And now the Turke,for the love that he bare to Aramanthus,
and for the likyng that he sawe to bee in his daughter towardes
hym, whom he hjmself had appoincted to bee her spouse, be-
came indeede to be christened, with all his retinew that was
aboute hym ; and then restoryng Bodericke againe to the kyng-
dome of Tolosia, by al consentes, the mariage betweene Ara-
manthus and Florella was concluded, with great pompe and
magnificence : and thus the Turke, leayyng this new married
couple in the citie of Tolosia, departed with his armie into
Turkie.
The Queene Isabell, not forgettyng the greate goodnesse she
had received by these outlawes, whiche before had saved her
life, and with whom her daughter yet remained, so dealt with
the Eyng her housebande, that thei were altogether sent for,
and verie joyfully receivyng his dau^^hter, restored the outlawes
againe to their libertie, bestowyng of them, for recompence,
roomes, and'offices of credite and estimation.
Thus, to conclude, every one beyng well contented, thei lived
together in quietnesse, with many long and happie daies.
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TO MILITARIE PROFKSaiON. 191
OP PHYLOTUS AND EMILIA.
THE ARGUMENT OP THE VHI HISTORIE.
I^hilotus^ an old and auncimt citizen of Borne, faUeik in lote
with EmUia, a yimg and beauti/tdl virgin, the daughter of
Alberto, who hnowyng the wonderfuU wealthe of Phyhtus,
wotdd haw forced his daughter to have maried hym, but in the
ende waspretely deceived by Phylemo, the brother of Emdia,
who maried with Phylotua in hie sisters steade, and other
pretie actions that fell out by the waie.
It hath many tymes bin had in question, and yet could never
be decided, from whence this passion of extreame love doeth
proceede, whose fane is suche, where it once taketh possession,
that (as thei saie) love is without lawe, so it maketh the pa-
cientes to bee as utterly voide of reason ; but, in my opinion,
the self same thyng, whiche is many tymes shadowed under
the title of love, maie more properly be termed and called by
the name of luste : but, be it love, or be it luste, the difference
is nothyng so muche as the humour that feedes it is wonderfiiU
straonge, and hath no manor of certaintie in it, exceptyng this,
it is without parciaUtie ; for commonly, when it driveth us to
affect, it is doen without any manor of respect, for sometyme
it maketh us to linger after our frendes, sometyme to languishe
after our foes ; yea, betweene whom there hath been.had mor-
tall hostilitie. The sonne hath beene scene to fSsdl in love with
the wife of his fitther ; the &ther again, m like maner, with
the wife of his soonne ; the king hath bin attached with the
poore and needie beggar } yea, and though there have bee#
many which have seen their owne errour, and there with all
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have confessed their abuse, yet thei have not bin able to re-
fraine them selves from prosecntyng their follie to the ende.
And all be it reason proffereth us sondrie sufficient causes why
we ought to refraine the appetite of our owne desires, yet
fancie then is he that striketh suche- a stroke, that reason^s
rules can naught at all prevaile, and like as those whom love
hath once intangled, the more thei strive the fiurther thei bee
tied, so it is unpossible that love should be constrained, where
affection breedes not likyng, nor &ncie is not fed ; but where
these two hath once joyned in election, al other affectes be so
dimme and blinded, that every vice seemeth to us a vertue,
whereof springeth this proverbe. In love there is no lacke.
So that, indeede, to saie the truth, if there be any pietie to be
imputed to this raging love, it is in that it is not parciall, nor
hath it any respecte of persones, but bee thei frendes, be thei
foes, be thei riche, be thei poore, be thei young, be thei olde,
bee thei wise, bee thei foolishe, love is still indifferent, and re-
specteth all alike. But if any man will thinke that in respecte
of beautie, we esteeme not all the reste, I am able to saie it is
not true, consideryng how many have forsaken the better
likyng, and have chosen the worse ; so that, for my parte, the
more I consider of it, the more I am amazed, and therefore will
beate my braines no more aboute it, but leave it to the credite
of suche as have bin lovers themselves, whose skill in the
matter I preferre before mine owne, and will come to my His-
toric of Phylotus, who, beyng an aged man, fell in love with a
yong maiden, &rre unfittyng to his yeares, and followeth in
this sorte.
In the gallant citie of Naples, there was remainyng a yong
man, called by the name of Alberto. This Alberto beyng
maried not fully out a yeare, his wife was delivered of a Sonne,
whom he named Phylemo, and upon divehi considerations,
mindyng io ckaunge his habit-ation, he prepared hym self to
^oe dwell at Home ; and first takyng order for his sonne
Phylemo, who for the tendemesse of his age he left still in.
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Naples at name, hyiu self, his wife, with all the reste of his
hoQseholde, came to Rome, where he had not very loDg re-
mained, but his wife was likewise delivered of a daughter, whom
he called by the name Emilia, who, as she grewe in yeares, she
likewise proved to bee very beautiful! and faire. And amongst
a greate nomber of others, there was dwellyng in Borne an aun-
cient citizen, whose name was Phylotus, a man very orderly in
yeares^ and wonderfully aboundyng in goods : this Phylotus,
havyng many tymes taken the viewe of Emilia, beganne to
growe very sore in love with her, or rather I maye saie, in his
olde yeares beganne to doate after this young maiden ; for it can
not bee properly called love in these olde men, whose. dotage,
if it were not more then outragious, either their greate discre-
tion would represse it, or their many yeares would mortifie
it. But Phylotus, in the ende, desired Emilia of her &ther
in the waie of mariage.
Alberto, accordyng to the custome of parentes, that desire
to marie their daughters, more for goods then for good will <
betweene the parties, more for lucre then for love, more for
livyng then for learning, more for wealth then for wit, more for
honour then for honestie ; and so thei maie have great store of
money, thei never consider farther of the man. Alberto, in
like manor, knowyng the wealth wherewith Phylotus was in-
dued, who had never a childe but one onely daughter, whose '
name was BrisiUa, gave his full consent, without any &rther
consideration of the inequalitie of the yeares that was betweene
Phylotus and his daughter : he never remembred what strifes,
what jarres, what debates, what discontentment, what counter-
faityng, what dissembling, what louryng, what loathyng, what
never likyng is ever had where there is suche differences be-
twene the maried; for perfecte love can never bee without
equalitie, and better were a married couple to continue with-
out livyng then without love. And what are the occasions that
make so many women to straie from their housbandes, but
when thei bee maried to suche as thei cannot like of; but
o
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surely, if women did thronghly consider how daungerons it is
for them to deale with these olde yonthes, I thinke thei would
bee better advised in medling with them ; for, besides that
thei be unwildie, lothsome, (and sir reverence of you) very un-
lovely for you .to lye by, so thei bee commonly inspired with
the spirite of jelousie, and then thei wille looke to you so nar-
rowly, and mewe you up so closely, that you will wishe a
thousande tymes the prieste had bin hanged that maried you^
but then to late.
But to retourne to our historic. Alberto, respecting more
the wealth of Phylotus then the likyng of his daughter, gave
his consent to take him for his sonne in lawe, and tolde EmeUa
how he had disposed on her. Emelia, seeyng what an olde
babie her father had chosen to be her housebande, moste
humbly desired hym to give her leave to chouse for herself;
whereat her father, being very angrie, beganne sharply to rate
her, saiyng: And arte thou, then, so muche wedded to thine
owne will, that thou skomest to be directed by me, thy lovyng
fitther, or thinkest thou that thy wisedome doeth so fiirre sur-
mount my wit, that thou canst better provide for thyself then
I, which so careAiUy have hetherto brought thee up! or doth
the tendere love, or the chargeable cost which I have bestowed
on thee, deserve no better recompence, then to despise those
that I would have thee to like of!
Emelia, fidlyng doune of her knees before her &ther, saied :
Moste deare and lovyng &ther, moste humbly I beseche you,
for the affection whiche by nature you beare me, not to thinke
me so gracelesse a childe, that I would goe aboute to contraty
you, or stubbornly would refuse what soever you would think
convenient for my behoofe : and although you shall finde in
me suche duetie as is meete for a daughter, and all obedience
that is fit for a childe $ yet, sir, consider the harte, whiche can
not bee compelled, neither by feare, neither by force, Bor is not
otherwise to be lured then onely by fimcies free consent And
as you have bestowed on me this fraile and transitori life so
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TO MIUTARIE PROFESSION. 195
my bodie shall be at jour digposition) as it shall please you to 4
appoinot it, and I will conclude with this humble petition, de-
siryng you not to bestowe me of any that is not agreable to
my &ncie and good likyng.
Well {(^ her fiither) then see you finme your likyng to like
well of my likyng. I have promised you to Phylotus in mar-
riage, and Phylotus is he that shall be your housband : and
looke you goe not aboute to oontende againste that I have de*
termined ; if you doe, nerer accompt me for fiither nor frende.
And thus he departed.
Emelia, hearyng this cruell conclusion of her &ther, was
wonderfiilly abashed, and beeyng by herself in her chamber,
she be^nne to consider of her father^s wordes ; and, for feare
to incurre any fiurther displeasure, she devised how she might
frame her self to the likyng of her lover ; and, with a yong
woman^s minde, she first beganne to consider of his wealth, of
his callyng, of the reverence wherewith he was used in the
dtie, and that likewise, in beyng his wife, she should also bee ;
had in estimation, and bee preferred before other women of
meaner credite : and to desire superioritie, it is commonly every
woman's sicknesse, and therefore this could not chouse but
please her very well. Then she remembred how commodious it <
were to marrie one so wealthie as Phylotus, wherby she should
not neede to beate her braines aboute the practising of house-
wiferie, but should have servauntes at commaundment to sup-
plie that toume : this likewise pleased her very well ; but be-
cause she would well perswade herself, she beganne to conjec-
ture how she should spende the time to her contentment ; and
therefore she beganne to thinke what a pleasure it was to bee
well fiimished with sondrie sutes of apparell, that in the
momyng, when she should rise, she might call for what she
liste to put on, accordyng as the tyme and the &sshion did
require, and her fitncie served beste ; for thus Phylotus was
well able to keepe his wife : and this pleased her likewise very
well ; and then, when she were up, she might breake her fiuit
o 2
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with a cuppe of malmsie or muskadine uexte her harie : it was
very good for ill ayres in a momyng, and this she thought
was but an easie matter, and likewise pleased her very well :
when she had broken her fast, then she might stirre about the
house, and looke to this, and see to that, and where she found
anythyng amis, not to touche it with her owne fingers for
manyng the beautie of her hande, but to call for Gioelie, Jone,
or Gate, and to chide them like sluttes, that thei could not spie
a faught but when thei muste be tolde ; this likewise pleased her
yerie well : then to have provided for dinner some junckettes,
that served beste her appetite. Her housebande had good store
of coyne, and how could it be better spent then upon themselves,
to make their &re the better ! this likewise pleased her verie well.
Now, when she had dined, then she might go seke out her ex-
amplers, and to peruse whiche worke would doe beste in a ruffe,
whiche in a gorget, whiche in a sleeve, whiche in a quaife, whiche
in a caule, whiche in a handcarcheef ; what lace would doe beste
to edge it, what seame, what stitche, what cutte, what garde :
and to sitte her doune and take it forthe by little and little, and
thus with her nedle to passe the after noone with devising of
thinges for her owne wearyng ; this likewise pleased her passyng
well : then to provide for supper some shift of diete, and son-
drie sauces, the better to helpe the stomacke, oranges, lemons,
olives, caphers, salades of sondrie sortes : alas ! a croune will
goe a greate waie in suche trifles ; this likewise pleased her
verie well : when she had cupped, to use some exercise, ae-
cordyng to the season ; if it were in sommer, to goe walke with
her neighbours, to take the aire, or in her garden, to take the
verdure of swete and pleasaunt flowers ; this likewise pleased
her verie well : when she was come in, and readie to go to her
chamber, a cuppe of cold sacke to bedward is verie good for
digestion, and no coste to speake of, where suche abondance
doeth remaine ; and this likewise pleased her verie well.
But now, although she had devised to passe the dale tyme
with suche contentation, when she remembred at night she
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 197
must goe to bedde to be lubber leapt, and ^th what cold cour-
tesie she should be entertaioed by her graie headed bedfelowe,
what firosen embracementes he was able to bestowe of her, all
was marde, and quite dashte out of remembraunce, and all the
commodities, before spoken of, that she should receive in the
tyme of the daie, would not serve to countervaile that one in- ^'
commoditie, in the season of the night. Like as we saie, one
vice spilles a greate noumber of vertues.
Thus Emelya was now to seeke, and could in no wise frame
herself to love Philotus ; but when she had flattered herself
with a thousande delightes that she should receive in the daie
tyme by his wealth, when she remembred bedd tyme, she was
newe to beginne as before. Wherefore she remained in greate
perplexitie, thinkyng her happe to bee over hard, and the com-
forte verie bare, where the beste choice had duche assuraunce
of doubtfoll ende. For to marrie after her &ther'*s mynde, she
knewe would breede her lothed life ; and to gainsaie what he
had determined would likewise loose her father^s likyng, that
she wiste not for her life whereon to resolve : and thus from
daie to daie, as she continued in this doubte, there happened .
to hit into her companie a yong Bomaine gentleman, whose
name was Flavins, who sodainly fell in love with Emelia ; and
iakyng the tyme whilest his opportunitie served, he let Emelia
to understande of the greate love he bare her. Emelia, ac-
cordyng to the custome of women, made the matter verie coye
at the firste, although in her harte she were right gladd, con-
sideryng her case how it stoode. '
Flavins was so muche the more importunate upon her, and
with suche nice termes, as woers be accustomed, he so courted
and followed Emilia, that she, perceivyng his fervent affection,
tolde hym a verie short circumstaunce, how her &ther had
disposed her to one that she could not like of; and, therefore,
if he would first promise to take her as his wife, and that he
could finde suche meanes to conveigh her from her father s
house in secret sorte (for otherwise she was sure her father
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198 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
would be a let to hinder their purpose) she waB contented to
harken to his speeche, and yeelde to his demaunde. Flayius,
the gladdest man in the worlde to heare these joyfbll newes,
sware unto her that all should bee accomplished, and that with
as muche speede as herself would desire.
There was no more to conclude of then, but how she might
be conveighed from out her &ther^s house. Flavins devised
that late in an evenjng, or in the night tyme, when every one
were quiet in their beddes, if she could finde the meanes to get
forth of doores, then he would bee readie to receive her. But
that could not bee, for both her &ther and mother never failed
to bee at home in the evenynges, and at nightes she was lodged
in her ^stther^s chamber, that it was impossible for her to get
forthe. So that there was no remedie, but that the feate must
bee wrought in some after noone, when bothe her &ther and
mother used to bee abroade about their businesse : and then
she knewe not how to come forthe alone, because she had not
been accustomed so to doe ; and to foUowe a stranger, it would
breede the greater suspition.
But Flavins, to avoide all these surmises, devised the nexte
evenyng to conveigh her in, at some backe windowe of her
father^s house, a sute of mannes apparell, wherin the next dale
in the aftemoone, her &ther and mother being abroad, she
should shift herself, and so come her waies, unknowne of any,
to suche a place, where he himself would be readie awaiting
for her, and so conveighe her home to his owne house. This
devise Emelia liked passyng well, and accordyng as it was ap*
poincted. The nexte evening. Flavins conveighed this sute of
aparel in at the windowe, where Emelia was readie to receive
it ; and laiyng it up in safetie till the nexte daie in the after
noone, her father and her mother beyng bothe forth of dores,
she quickly shifted herself into this mannes apparell, and thus
forthe of dores she goes to her appointed place, where Flavius
was staiyng, who, accordyng to promise, conveighed her home
to his owne house.
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TO MIUTARIK PROFESSION. 199
This matter was not so closely handeled by Emelia, but she
espyed by one of her fether^s servauntes, who, beyng on the
iMUskflide, through a windowe sawe her how she was strippyng
of herself, and marked how she put on the mannes apparell ;
whereat the yong fellowe had greate marveile, and stood still,
beholdyng to see what would fall out in the ende. But when
he sawe her goe forthe adores, he hasted after into the streates ;
but Emelia was so sodainly gone, that for his life he wiste not
whiche waies to seeke after her: wherefore, in a wonderfull
baste he came to his maister, whom he found in the citie, in
the companie of Philotus, sayng, sir ! I have verie erill newes ^
to tell you. — What is the matter ! (% his maister) is anythyng
amisse at home! Yea, sir, (i^ the servaunte) your daughter
Emelia is even now departed into the citie, in the habite of a
manne, but whiche waies she went, I could not for my life
devise ; for, after she gat once forthe of the place where she
shifted her, I could never more set eye of her.
Is Emelia gone i (q^ her lover, Philotus) Oh God ! what
evill newes bee these that I heare ! and, without any further
staye, bothe the lather and the lover gatte theim out at the
doores together, and abonte the streates thei runne like a couple
of madde menne. Now, it fell out that Phylemo, the sonne o^^.
Alberto and brother to Emelia, whom you have heard before,
was lefte at Naples, beyng an infimt, and had remained there
till this time at schoole, and at this verie instant was come
from Naples to Bome to visite his fiither and mother, of whom
be had no manor of knowledge, otherwise then by their names.
And it fortuned that Alberto and Phylotus happened to meete *^
with Philemo in the streates, who was so like his sister Emilia,
that bothe Alberto and Phylotus assured themselves that it
could bee no other but she. Wherefore Alberto, commyng to
bjm, saied: Staie, staie, moste shamelesse and ungracious
girle ! dooest thou thinke that by thy diguisyng of thyself in
this manor, thou canste escape unknowne to me, who am thy
father J Ah, vile strumpet that thou arte ! wliat punishetnent
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200 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
ifi sufficiente for the filthinesse of thy fiicte! And with this
he seemed as though he would have flmeupon her in the streate
to have beate her ; but Phylotus thrnste in betweene theim, '
and desired his neighbour to stale hjmself : i^d then, im-
bracyng Philemo in his armes, he saied, Ah, Emelia, my
sweete and lovyng wenche, how canste thou so unkindely for-
sake thy PhilotuB ! whose tender love towardes thee is suehe,
that as I will not let to make thee soveraigue of myself, so
thou shalt be dame and ntistres of all that ever I have, assu-
ryng thee that thou shalt never want for golde, gemmes,
Jewells, suche as be fit and convenient for thy degree.
Philemo, seyng a couple of old doating fooles thus clus-
teryng aboute hym, not knowyng what thei were, bad thought
at the firste thei had been out of their wittes i but in the ende,
by their woordes perceivyng a fiirther circumstance in the
/ matter, he devised somethyng for his owne disporte, to feedo
them a little with their owne follie, saied. Pardon me, I be-
seche you, this ^my greevoua offence, wherein I knowe I have
too &rre straied from the limites and boundes of modestie, pro-
testyng hereafter so to goveme myself, that there shall be no
sufficient cause whereby to accuse me of suche unmaidenlike
partes, and will ever remaine with suche duetie and obedience^
as I trust shall not deserve but to be liked duiyng life,
Pliilotus, havyng heard this pitifiill reconciliation made by
his Emelia, verie gently 'entreated her father in her behalf.
Well (<^ her fiither) seeyng you will needes have me to forgive
this her leudnesse, at your requeste I am contented to pardon
her ; and then, speakyng to Philemo, he saied : How saie you,
houswife, is your stomacke yet come doune i are you contented
to take Philotus for your housebande ! Yea, my good &ther,
(q^ Philemo) and that with all my harte. Oh, happie newes !
(q^ Philotus) and here withall he began to sette his cappe on
the one side, and to toume up his muschatoes, and feU to
wipyng of his mouthe, as though he would have falne a kissyng
of her by and by in the streates ; but remembryng hymself
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TO MILITABIE PROFESSION. 201
where he was, hee brought Alberto, with Philemo, into a
fireendes house, that was of his &miliare acquaintance, and
there the marriage betweene theim was throughlie concluded,
and all parties semyng to give their full consentes.
Philotus desired his &ther in lawe that he might have the
custodie of Emelia, swearjng, by his old honestie, that he
would not otherwise use her then his owne daughter Brisilla,
untill the daie of his nuptials, and then to use her as his wife ;
to whiche request Alberto seemed verie willyngly to give con-
sent. But then, because Philotus would not carrie his beloved
through the streates in her mannes apparell, he desired her
&thir in law to go home, and sonde some suite of her apparell,
wherewith to shifte her before he would carrie her to his owne
house. Alberto, seyng matters so throughlie concluded, tooke
his leave of theim bothe, and goyng his waies home, he caused
all his daughter's apparell to be looked together, and to be
sent to the place where Philotus was remainyngwithPhilemo,
who, takyng forthe suche as should serve the toume for that
present, Philemo,- so well as he could, arraied hymself in one
of his sister's suites of apparell, and thus departed with Phi- \y
lotus to his owne house, where Philotus, callyng his daughter
Brisilla, he saied unto her : Behold here the partie whom I
have chosen to be your mother, chargyng you, of my blessyng,
that you honour, reverence, and obeye her, and with all dili*
gence that you be attendaunt upon her, and readie at an ynche
to provide her of anythyng that she shall either want or call
for. And you, my deare and lovyng Emelia, I doe here ordaine
and appoint you to bee mistres of this house, and of all that is
in it, desiryng you to accepte of this, my daughter, to doe you
service in the daie tyme, and in the night to vouchsafe her for
your bedfellowe, untill our daie of marris^e bee prefixed, and
then my self will supplie the roome. Philemo, seyng the
excellent beautie of Brisilla, wasnothyng sorie to have suche a
bedfellowe, but thought every hower a daie, till night was
come, which beyng approched, to bedde thei went, where Phi-
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202 BIGHB HIS FABEWBLL
lerno did not thinke it his readiest wale to give an j Bodaine
attempte, but therefore he brake into this disconrse foUowyng.
My Brisilla, were it not bat that we bee fonnde paiciall in
the causes of our freendes, bat especially where the canses doe
touche our parentes, our judgementes be so blinded by affec-
tion, that we can neither see, nor well oonfesse a manifest
truthe ; but if matters might be considei^ on, without re-
spect of persones, with indifference, and aecordyng to the
truthe and equitie of the cause, I durste then put myself in
your arbitremente, my Brisilla, and to abide your sentence,
whereto I doubt not, but you would confesse the prejudice I
sustaine, it is muche intollerable, and almoste impossible, for a
yong maide to endure, and the rather, if you would measure
my condition by your owne estate, who beeyng, as you see, a
yong maiden like yourself^ and shoidd be thus constrained by
my frendes to the marriyng of your &ther, whom I doe con-
fesse to bee worthie of a better wife then myself. But oon-
sideryng the inequalitie of our yeres, I can not for my life
frame myself to lore hym, and yet I am forced against my
will to marie him, and am appoincted to be your mother, that
am more meete to be your companion and plaie felowe. But
that affiance whiche I have conceived in your good nature,
hath made me thus boldly to speak unto you, desiryng but to
heare your opinion with indifferencie, whether you thinke I
have good cause to complaine, or naye : and then, peradven-
ture, I will saie farther unto you, in a matter that doeth con-
cerue your owne behoofe.
Brisilla hearyng this pitifull complaint, verie sorowMl in
her behalfe, saied : Would to God I were as well able to mi-
nister releef unto your distresse, aecordyng to your owne con-
tentment, as I am hartely sorie to consider your greef,. and do
wel perceive the Juste occasion you have to complaine.
Ah, my Brisilla I said Philemo, I am as hartely sorie in
your behalfe, and peradventure doe understande something
whiche yourself dooe not yet kuowe of, which will greeve you
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TO HILITARIB PROFESSION. 203
bat first, Brisilldf let me aske you this question,
doe you knowe ray &ther, or naie I
No, sure (% Brisillft), I have no manor of knowledge of him,
ofiiiher did I knowe whether you had any father alive, or nay,
but now by your owne reporte ; and as straunge it was to me
to heare the woordes whiche my &ther used to me this daie,
when he brought you home, for that I never understoode
before that he went aboute a wife.
Philemo was verie glad to heare these newes, because it
served so muche the better for his purpose, and therefore saied
as foUoweth.
This tale that I minde to tell you (my Brisilla) will seme
more straunge then ail the reste, and yet assure yourself it is
nothyng so strange as true, and therefore give eare to that I
mynde to saie. Doe you not thinke it verie straunge in deede,
that the one of us should bee made bothe mother and daughter
to the other, and that our &thers, whiche bee now so diescrepit
and olde, should bee so overhaled with the furie of their fonde
and unbrideled affections, that to serve their owne appetites
thei force not with what clogges of care thei comber us, that
be their lovyng daughters, but have concluded betwene them
selves [a orosse marria£;e, and so indeede it maie well be
tearmed, that will Ml out so overthwarte to our behoofes, who
beyng now in our yong and tender yeres, and should bothe of
ufl be made the dearlinges of twoo old menne, that seekee to
prefene their owne lust before their children'^s love, and mea*
sure the fierie flames of youth by the dead coales of age, as
though thei were able with their cold and rare imbracementes
to delaie the forces of the fleshe, whose flames doeth excead in
these our greene and tender yeres, and as muche possible for
us to continue in likyng, as flowers are seen to agree with
froste. But in plaine tearmes (my Brisilla), and to discipher
a very troth, it is contracted betweene our aged parentes that
your father (as you see) should first tsike me to his wife:
whiche weddyng beeyng once performed, then my father, in
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204 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
like maner, should chalenge you, accordyng as it is concluded
betweeno them.
Alas ! (q^ Brisilla) these newes bee straunge in deede, and
it should seem by your wordes so ftdlie resolved on, that there
is no hope of redresse to be had in the matter.
None in the worlde (q^ Philerno) ; but thus betweene our-
selves, the one of us to comfort the other.
A colde comforte (q^ Brisilla), we shall finde in that ; but
oh, pitilesse parentes ! that will preferre your owne pleasures
with your children'^s paine, your owne Ukyng with you chil-
dren's loathyng, your owne gaine with your children's greefi»,
your owne sporte with your children's spoUe, your own delight
with your children's despight. O, how muche more happie
had it been, that we had never been borne !
Alas, my Brisilla ! (c^ Philerno), torment not yourself with
suche extreame anguishe, for if that would have served for
redresse the matter had been remedied, and that long sithence.
But I would to God, my Brisilla, that I were a manne for your
onely sake, and havyng so good leisure as thus beeyng together
by ourselves, we would so handle the matter, that our &thers
should seeke newe wives.
Alas ! (q^ Brisilla), suche wishes are but waste, and un-
possible it is that any suche thyng should happen.
Impossible ! (c^ Philerno.) Naie surely, Brisilla, these is
nothyng impossible, but I have knowne as greate matters aa
these have been wrought : doe we not read that the goddesse
Venus transformed an ivorie image to a lively and perfect
woman, at the onelie requeste of Pygmalion I Diana likewise
converted Acteon to a harte; Narcissus for his pride was
turned to a flower ; Araehne to a spider ; with a greate num-
ber of others have bin trasformed, some into beastes, some
into foules, and some into fishes ; but amongst the reste of
the miracles that have bin wrought by the goddesse, this
storie falleth out moste meete and fittyng to our purpose.
There was sometime remaining in the countrey of Phestos
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 205
a nuuied conple, the honsbande called by the name of Lictus,
the wife Telethusa, who beyng with childe, was willed by her
hoasbande, so sone as she should be delivered, if it were not
a lad, that the childe should presently be slaine. His wife
beyng deliyered at her appoincted tyme brought forthe a girle,
and yet, notwithstandyng her housbandes commaundement,
brought up the childe, makyng her housebande beleeve it was
a boye, and called it by the name of Iphis, and thus as it
grew in yeares was apparelled like a lad. And beyng after by
his father assured to a wife, called by the name of lanthe, a
young maiden, and the daughter of one Telest, dw.ellyng in
Dictis, Telethusa, the mother of Iphis, fearyng her deceipt
would bee knowne, deferred of the marriage daie so long as
she could, sometymes fainyng tokens of iU successe, some-
times &ining sicknesse, sometymes one thyng, sometymes
another; but when all her shiftes were driyen to an ende, and
the marriage daie at hand, Telethusa commyng to the temple
of the goddesse Isis, with her heire scattered aboute her eares,
where before the aulter of Isis she made her humble suppli-
cations 5 and the gentle goddesse, having compassion, trans-
formed Iphis to a man.
Loe here, Brisilla, as greate a matter brought to passe as
any wee have spoken of yet, and the goddesses bee of as greate
force and might in these dales as ever thei were in times past :
we want but the same zeale and &ithe to demauhde it ; and
sure, in my opinion, if either of us made our request to the
goddes, who commonly be still assistant to helpe distressed
wightes, thei would never refuse to graunt our reasonable re-
questes, and I will adventure on it myself, and that without
any &rther circumstaunce. — ^And here with all he seemed,
with many piteous sighes, throwing up his handes to the
heavens, to mumble forthe many wordes in secrete, as though
he had been in some greate contemplation, and sodainly, with-
out any manor of stirryng either of hande or foote, did lye
still as it had bin a thing immovable, whereat Brisilla beganne
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206 RIOHE HIS PABBWEIJ^
for to muse, and in the ende spake to hym ; but Phylemo
made no maner aunswere, but seemed as though he had bm in
some trannce, wherewith Briailla began to call, and with her
arme to shake hym, and Phylemo givyng a piteous sigh, as
though he had bin awaked sodainly out of some dream, saied :
O, blessed goddesse Venus! I yeeld thee humble thankes,
that hast not despised to graunt my request. And then speak-
yng to Brisilla, he saied : And now, my Brisilla, be of good
comforte, for the same goddesse whiche has not disdained to
heare my supplication, will likewise be assistaunt to further
our farther pretences, as hereafter at our better leisure we
shall consider of. In the meane tyme receive thy lovyng
freende, that to daie was appoincted to be thy &ther^s wife,
but now consecrated by the goddesse to be thy lovyng house-
bande. And here withall imbrasing Brisilla in his armes, she
perceived in deede that Emelia was perfectly metamorphosed,
whiche contented her very well, thinkyng herself a thrisd
happy woman to light of suche a bedfdlowe. Thus both of
them, the one pleased very well with the other, they passed
the tyme, till Phylotus had prepared and nuide all thynges
readie for his marriage daie, 'and then, callyng his freendes and
neighbours about hym, to the churche thei goe together,
where Alberto gave Phylemo his sonne, in the steede of his
daughter Emelia, to Phylotus for his wife. When all the reste
of the marriage rites that are to be doen in the churche were
performed, thei passed forthe the daie with feastyng and greate
mirthe untill it was night. When the companie beganne to
breake up, and eveiy one to take his leave, and Phylotus,
with his bride, were brought into their chamber, where Phy-
lemo, desiryng the companie to avoide, and makyng &st the
doore, he saied to Phylotus : There resteth yet a matter to be
decided betweene you and me, and seyng we be here together
by ourselves, and that tyme and place doeth &11 out so fit, I
hold it for the best, that it be presently determined.
What is the matter then i (c^ Phylotus) : speake boldly, my
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 207
Emelia, and if there be anything that IiangeB in dispence
betwene ns, I trust it shall easdy bee brought to a good
agreement,
I praie God it male (n Phjlemo), and to reyeale the matter
in breefe and shorte circumstaance, it is this. You are now
my hoQsebazide, and I your lawful! wife, and for that I dooe
knowe the difference in our yeares, yourself being so olde, and
1 Tery yong, it must needes fall out there will be as greate
derersitie in our conditions, for age is commonly given to be
frowarde, testie, and overthwart ; youth, againe, to be firolique,
pleasaunt, and merrie : and so, likewise, in all our other con-
ditions wee shall be founde so contrarie and disagreejmp;, that
it will be impossible for us to like the one of the others
doynges ; for when I shall seeme to followe my owne humour,
then it will fidl out to your discontentment ; and you againe,
to follow that diet which your age doeth constraine, will be
moste lothsome unto me. Then you, beeyng my housebande,
will thmke to commaunde me, and I must be obedient to your
will, but I, beyng your wife, will thinke scome to be con-
trolde, and will dispose of my self accordj/ng to my owne
likyng, and then what braules and brabbles will &11 out, it
were to muche to bee rehearsed ; and thus we shall live neither
of us bothe in quiet, nor neither of us bothe contented, and
therefore for the avoidyng of these inoonyeniences I have
devised this waie : that beyng thus together by our selves we
will trie by the eares whiche of us shall bee maister, and have
authoritie to commaunde. If the victorie happen on your side,
I am contented for ever after to firame myself to your ordi*
naunce and will as it shall please you to appointe ; if other-
wise the conquest happen on my side, I will triumph like a
victor, and will looke to beare such a swaie, that I will not be
contraried in any thing, what so ever it shall please me to
commaunde.
Phylotus knowyng not what to make of these speeches, and
thinkyng the tyme verie long till he had taked his firste
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208 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
friutes, said : Gome, come, my Emelia, lette as goe to bedde;
where I doubt not but we shall so well agree, that these mat-
ters will easely bee taken up, without any controrersie suche
as you have spoken of.
Never while I live (c^ Phylemo), before I knowe where on
to resolve, and whether you shall reste at my commaunde-
ment, or I at yours.
Why (q^ Phylotus) dooe you speake in earnest! or would
you looke to commaunde me that am your housebande, to
whom you ought to use all duetie and obedience !
Then were I in good case (% Phylemo), that should bee
tied to use duetie or obedience to a manne of youryeares, that
would not let to prescribe us rules of your owne dotage, to be
observed in steede of domesticall discipline.
Then I perceive ((^ Phylotus) wee shall have somethyng
adooe with you hereafter, that will use me with these tearmes
the verie firste night. But see you make no more to dooe,
but come on your waies to bedde.
And I perceive (% Phylemo) the longer that I beare with
you the more foole I shall finde you : and with this up with
his fiste, and gave Phylotus a sure wheritte on the eare. Phy*
lotus in a greate rage flies againe to Phylemo : there was
betweene them souse for souse, and boxe for boxe, that it was
harde to judge who should have the victorie. In the ende
Phylemo gettes Phylotus &ste by the graie bearde, and by
plaine force pulles hym doune on the flower, and so he pomek
hym aboute the &ce, that he was like to have been strangled
with his owne bloud, which gushed out of his nose and mouth*
Wherefore holdyng up his handes, he cried. Oh, Emilia!
I yeelde myself vanquished and overcome. For God^s sake
holde thy handes. and I will never more contende with thee
duryng life.
Phylemo staiying hymself, saied : Art thou contented,
then, to yeeld me the conquest, and hereafter this, accord-
ing as thou hast said, nevermore to strive with me, never
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 209
to giunsay anything, what so ever it shall please me to com-
mannde.
Never, while I live (% Phylotos) ; and therefore, for God'*s
sake, let me arise, and chalenge to yourself what superioritie
you please, whiche for me shall never be denaied so long as I
shall live.
Well (cb Phylemo) but before I will let you arise, I will
hare you promise me to confirme these conditions, which
folowe in this maner : firste, that at my pleasure I miue goe
abroade with my freendes, to make merie so often as I liste,
whither I liste, and with whom I list ; and neither at my
goyng forthe to be demaunded whither I will, ne at my re-
tume to bee asked where I have been : I will fSeurther have you
condescende to this ; that for as muche as I have learned that
it is not onely verie untothsome, but likewise verie unwhole-
some, for youth and age to lye sokyng together in one bedde,
I will therefore make no bedfellowe of you but at my owne
pleasure, and in maner as followeth, that is to saie : this first
yere I shall be contented to bestowe one night in a moneth to
doe you pleasure, if I male see you worthie of it, or that you
be able to deserve it ; but the first yere beyng once expired,
fower tymes a yere male very well suffice, that is one night a
quarter, as it shall please myself to appoinct. There be many
other matters whiche I will not now stande to repeate, but
these before rehearsed be the principall thynges wherein I wil
not bee controlde, but meane to foUowe myne owne likyng.
How saie you, Phylotus? can you bee contented to ^me
yourself herein, to followe my direction?
Alas ! (% Phylotus) I see no other shifte : I must perforce
endeavour myself patiently to abide what soever it shall please
you to commaunde ; and doe yeeld myself as recreant and
overcome, and wholy doe put myself to your &vour and
mercie, readie to receive whatsoever it shall please you to
awarde unto me.
Phylerno, letting hym now arise, saied : Prepare yourself
p
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210 RICHG HIS FABEWELL
then to goe to your bedde, and anon, at myae o;nii leasore, I
will come unto you, and departe againe at myne owne pleasure,
when I shall see tyme.
Phylotns, eomfortyng hymself with these swete speeches,
did thinke it yet to be some parte of amendes that she had
promised to come and visite hym, went quietly to his bedde,
there to abide the good hower till Emelia did come.
Phylemo havyng prepared one of these marcenarie women
(whereof there are greate store in Rome to bee had) con-
veighed her to the bedd of Phylotus, givyng her enstmctions
how to use herself, and went himself to his beste beloved Bri-
silla, whom he had made privie to his whole devise, and in
this manor it was agreed betwene them : thei had thought to
have dieted Phylotus once a moneth with some cast stuffe,
N^' . suche as thei could hire best cheape in the toune.
{K^f^ s But it fell out that Flavius, whom you have heard before had
stolne awaie Emelia, beyng at the churche the same daie thafc
Phylotus was maried, and saw Alberto give his daughter
Emelia to Phylotus for his wife, had thought assuredly that
hymself had been deceived by some devill or spirite, that had
taken upon hym the likenesse of Emelia : and therefore, hast-
yng hymself home with all possible speede, came to Emelia,
and blessyng hymself, he saied. I charge thee, in the name
of the livyng God, that thou tell me what thou art, and that
thou presently departe to the place from whence thou earnest :
and I conjure thee, in the name of the holie Trinitie, by our
blessed ladie Yirgine Marie, by aungels and archaungles,
patriarkes and prophetes, by the Apostles and fewer Evan-
gelistes, Matthew, Marke, Luke and Jhon, by all the holie
martyres and confessours, and the reste of the rable and
blessed route of heaven, that thou quietly departe without any
manor of prejudice either to manne, woman, or childe, either
to any maner of beaste that is uppon the &ce of the earth,
the foules of the ayre, or the fishes in the sea, and without
any maner of tempest, storme, whirlewinde, thunder or
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 21 1
lightnyng, and that thoa take no maner of shape that maie
seeme either terrible or fearful! unto me.
Emriia hearyng these woordee, meryeilvng muohe what
thei ment, with a smilyng conntenaunce came towardes Fla-
▼ins, saijng: Whj how now, Seignior Flayias ! what, doe you
thinke me to bee some devill, or any hagge of hell, that you
tsJl to eonjniyng, and blessyng of yourself !
I charge thee come no nere ((| Flavins) : stande backe, for
these inticementes can no longer abuse me. When I have seen
with myne eyes my beloved Emelia maried in the churche,
and given by Alberto, her father, to Phylotus for his wife,
what should I thinke of thee but to be some feende, or sent
anto me by some inchauntement or witchcrafte ! and there-
fore I will no longer neither of thy compainie, neither of thy
conference. And herewithall takyng Emelia by the shoulders
he thrust her forthe of doores, and shuttyng the doore after
her, he gat hym to his chamber, where he fell to his praiers,
thinkyng assuredly that Emelia had been some spirite. But
Emelia, afl;er slie had a three or fewer daies made what
meanee she could to Flavins, and sawe it was in vaine, was
driven to goe to her &ther, before whom fUlyng upon her^
knees, she desired hym moste humbly to forgive her, Al-
berto takyng her up in his armes, saied, that he knewe no-
thyng wherein she had offended hym, but her suite might
easily be graunted.
Deare &ther (% Emelia) I knowe 1 have offended, and so
fiurre as my facte deserveth, rather to be punished then pitied ;
the 'remembraunoe whereof is so lothsome unto me, that I
fieare to call you by the name of father, having shewed myself
80 unworthie a dau^ter. These wordes she pronounced witlw
such sorrowe that the teares streamed doune her cheekes,
wherewith Alberto, moved ^ith naturall affection, saied :
Deare child, I knowe no such offence that ought to be, so
greevously taken ; but speake boldly — whatsoever it be, I
freely forgive it.
p 2
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212 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
Emelia, verie well comforted with these speeches, began to
discourse how she firste disguised herself in pager's apparel,
and what greef it was to her conscience that she should so
&rr straie from the duetie and obedience of a childe, and to
become a fugitive in a mannes apparell. But her &ther not
sufieryng her further to proceede in her tale, saied: Ahis!
deare daughter, if this bee the matter, it is long agoe sithe I
have bothe forgiven and forgotten these causes, and therefore
let these thynges never trouble you. But tell me now, how
doe you like of your bedfellowe, how agree you with him, or
he with you, I would be glad to knowe i
A.las ! deare &ther (q^ Emelia) that is the matter that I
come to you : he hath turned me awiue, and wil no longer
take me for his wife ; and what is the cause that hath moved
hym unto it, I protest before God I knowe not for my life.
Hath he turned thee awaie ? (% Alberto) myself wil quickly
finde a remedie for that matter : and without any more to do
would not tarry so much as while his goune was a brushyng,
but out of doores he goes towards Phylotus, whom by chaunce
he met withall in the streates, and in greate chafe begins to
chalenge hym for abusyng of his daughter, swearyng that he
would make all Borne to speake of his abuse, if he ment to
proceede in that he had begunne.
Phylotus, wonderyng to see the man in suche an agonie,
beganne to wishe that he had never scene hym nor his daugh-
ter neither, and that, if any bodie have cause to complaine, it
is T (c^ Phylotus) that have married suche a wife, that is more
like to a devill then a woman ; and I perceive now is maiuT*
tained in her mischiefe by you, that are her iather, who ought
rather to rebuke her then so to take her part, and to incourage
her in her leudenesse.
What incouragment is this you speake of! (^ Alberto) I
knowe not what you meane by these wordes ; but assure your-
self of this, that as I will not maintaine my child in anything
that is evill, so I wiU not see her take a manifest wrong.
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 213
Doe you thinke this to be good, then (% Phylotus), that
your daughter should bestowe suche hansell on her house-
ba&de as she^liath all readie bestowed upon me? and then,
poin^^g to his fiice, he said, See here your daughter's handie
woorke : how thinke you, is this requisite to be borne with
aU, that you stande so muche in your daughter's defence !
Alberto, sdeyng his fiice all swolne, and the skinne scratched
o^ perceiyed that Phylotus was at a fraie, and had good
eanse to oomplaine, and, wonderyng that his daughter was so
sodainly become a shrewe, said : If this bee my daughter's
handie woorke, I can neither beare withall, neithei>will I al-
lowe it in her so to use her housebande ; and therefore, I praie
you, lette me heare the matter debated betweene you, and I
doubte not but to take such order, as there shall no more any
suche rule happen betweene you.
I am contented you shall debate what you will (c^ Phylotus)
so it maie be doen with quietnesse ; but I will never more con-
imde with her for the masterie while I live : she hath alreadie
wonne it — I am contented she shall weare it.
I prsue you then (c^ Alberto) that you will goe home to
your owne house, and I will goe fetche my daughter, and will
oome unto you straightwaie ; and I doubt not but to take suche
order betweene you as shall Ml out to bothe your likynges.
I praie God you maie (% Philotus) and I will goe home,
and there will staie your commyng.
Alberto likewise went to his owne house, and callyng Emelia,
said never a woorde unto her, but willed her to followe hym ;
and commjmg to the house of Philotus, whom he founde
within, tarriyng his commyng ; and by fortune, at the same
instant, Philemo and Brisilla bothe were gone into the tonne
to buye certaine thynges that thei had neede of. And Alberto
beginning first to rebuke his daughter, that would seme in
suche manor to abuse her houseband, and with a long dis-
course he preached unto her, with what duetie and obedience
women ought to use their housebandes withall, and not to
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21 4 RICHB HIS FAREWELL
take upon them, like maisters, to correct and chastice them.
Emelia denaied not only the fiict, but alfio she denued Phi-
lotus to be her housebande.
What have wee here to doe i (c^ her father) how caost thou
(shamelesse qneane) denaye that whiche within these fower
daies was performed in the &ce of the whole worlde !
Emelia, standing stiffe to her tackelyng, would in nowise
confesse that ever she was married.
Then her &ther began to charge her with her owne words
which she had used to hym before ; how she had disguised her-
self in man^s apparell, and so stole awaie forthe of dores, tho
whiche Emelia never denaied. Why then (^ her father) did
not I meete thee in the streates, and at the request of thy
housebande, here present, did foigive thee thy jGeuiH, to whom
I then delivered thee, and with whom thou hast ever sithenoe
remained i
Emelia made flatte deniall of any of all these saiynges to
bee true. Alberto, in a greate fiirie, would have taken wit-
nesse of Philotus in the matter ; but Philotus, fearyng an
other banquet at night when he should goe to bedde, durste
not in any wise seeme to contrary Emelia. In the ende, after
greate fendyng and provyng had in the matter, Emelia, from
poincte to poincte, discoursed to her &ther, how she firste fell
into the likyng of Flavins, and by his practise so conveighed
herself awaie in his page's apparell, and had with hym re-
mained all this while, till now he had toumed her awaie.
Her &ther would in no wise allowe this tale to be true ; but
Flavins beeyng well knowne to bee a courteous gentleman,
Alberto devised to sonde for hym, who presently, at his gentle
intreatie, came to the house of Philotus, where he spared not
to confesse a truthe, that onely for the love that he bare to
Emelia he devised to steale her awaie ; and there came one
unto him in the likenesse of Emelia, and in the same apparell
that he had provided for her, whom he verie charely kepte,
uutill suche tyme as he sawe with his owne eyes that Emelia
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was married in the ohurche to Philotns, and then assniyng
hym self that he had been deeeiyed by some spirite that had
taken upon hym the similitude and likenesse of Emelia, he
presentlie came home and toumed her awaie, and what was
become of her he could never leame.
Alberto, muche amazed to heare this tale, said : Senior
Flavins, dooe you knowe your Emelia againe if you see her !
And tken poinctyng to his daughter, he said : Is not this
the same Emelia that you speake of, whiche you have toumed .
aw^e!
I knowe not (q^ Flavins) the one from the other, but sure I
sawe with myne eyes twoo Emelias so like, that the one of
them of force must needes bee the devill.
There is no question (c^ Philotus) but that is my wife : if
there bee ever a devill of theim bothe, I knowe it is she. Out,
alas ! that ever I was borne. What shall I now dooe ! I
knowe I have married a devill.
And by fortune, as Alberto chaunced to look forthe of the
windowe, he espied Philemo and Brisilla in the streate com-
myng homewardes. Peace ! (c^ Alberto) here commeth the
other Emelia : wee shall now trie whiche of theim is the devill
(I thinke) before we departe.
By this Philemo was come in, and hearing how matters
had been debated, and were ialne out, againe knowing Alberto
to be his father, and what prejudice his sister Emelia was
like to sustaine if she should be forsaken by her freende and^
lover. Flavins, confessed the whole matter, humbly desiryng
his father to forgive hym.
When he had a while wondered at the circumstaunce, and
the truthe of every thing laid open and come to light, all
psu-ties were well pleased and contented, savyng Philotus : for
when he remembered, first, the losse of his love, Emelia,
then how Philemo had beaten him, what a bedfellowe he
had provided hym, while he hymself went and laie with his
daughter, these thynges putte all together made hym in
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216 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
8uche a chafe, that he was like to run out of his wittes. Bat
when he had raged a good while, and sawe how little helpe it
did prevaile hym, he was contented, in the ende, that his
daughter Brisilla should marrie with Philemo, and Flayius
yerie joyAilly received againe his Emelia (when he knewe she
was no devill) and bothe the marriages consumat in one day.
And so I praie Otod give them joye, and every old dotarde so
good successe as had Philotus.
FINIS.
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TO MUilTARIB PBOFESSION. 217
THE CONCLUSION.
Gentle reader, now thon hast perused these histories to the
ende, I doubte not but thou wilte deeme of them as thei wor-
thely deserve, and thinke suche vanities more fitter to bee pre-
sented on a stage (as some of theim have been) then to bee
published in printe, (as till now they have never been) but to
excuse myself of the foUie that here might bee imputed unto
me, that my self beyng the first that have put them to the
print, should likewise be the first that should condemne them
as vaine. For mine owne excuse herein I aunswere, that in the
writyng of them I have used the same manor that many of our
yong gentlemen useth now adaies in the wearing of their ap-
parell, which is rather to foUowe a fiishion that is newe, bee it
never so foolishe, then to bee tied to a more decent custome,
that is cleane out of use ; sometyme wearyng their haire firee-
seled so long, that makes theim looke like a water spaniell ;
sometymes so shorte, like a newe shome sheepe ; their beardes
sometymes cutte rounde, like a Philippes doler, sometymes
square, like the kynges hedde in Fishstreate ; sometymes so
neare the skinne, that a manne might judge by his face the
gentleman had had verie pilde lucke : their cappes and hattes
Bometjmes so bigge, as will hold more witte then three of them
have in their heddes ; sometymes so little, that it will hold no
witte at all: their rufies sometimes so huge, as shall hang
abottte their neckes like a carte wheele ; sometymes a little
&llyng bande, that makes theim looke like one of the queen^s
silkewomen : their clokes sometymes so long, as it shall trippe
on their heeles, sometymes so shorte, as will not hang over
their elbowes : their jerkinnes sometymes with hye collors,
buttoned close under their chinne ; sometymes with no collars
at all aboute their neckes, like a wenche in a redde wastcoate
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218 RICHE HIS FAREWELL
that were washyng of a bncke ; sometymes with long, sausie
sleeves, that will be in every dishe before his maister ; some-
tymes without sleeves, like Scogins manne, that used to run of
sleevelesse errandes : their dublettes sometyme fikggotte wasted
above the navill ; sometymes cowebeallied belowe the flanckes,
that the gentleman must undoe a button when he goes to pisse.
In their hoose so many fashions as I can not describe ; some-
tymes garragascoynes, breached like a beare ; sometymes close
to the docke, like the devill in a plaie (wantyng but a taile) ;
sometymes rounde, like to Saincte Thomas onions : sometymes
petite ruffes, of twoo ynehes long, with a close stockyng cleane
aboute the nocke of his taile ; sometymes disguisyng theim-
selvee after the use of Spaine, sometymes after the Italian
manor ; and many tymee thei imitate the Frenche &shion so
neare, that all their haire is readie to &11 of their heddes.
Now I am sure, if any of tfaeim were asked why he used
snche variotie in his apparell, he would aunswere, because he
would followe the &shion. Lette this, then, suffice likewise
for myne excuse; that myself, seeyng trifles of no accoumpt to
be now best in season, and suche vanities more desired then
matters of better purpose, and the greatest parte of our writers
still busied with the like, so I have put forthe this booke, be-
cause I would followe the fashion.
And nowe, freendlie reader, because I have entred thus farre
to speake of fashions, I will conclude with a tale that maketh
somethyng for my purpose. I have read it so long agoe, that'
I cannot tell you where, nor the matter is not greate, though
I doe not tell you when. But in Englande (as I think) and,
as it should seme, nere aboute London, there was sometymes
dwellyng a gentleman, though not of verie greate wealth, yet
of a verie honest life, and of good reporte emongest his neigh-
bours, whose name was Maister Persinus. This gentilman
had a daughter, whose name was Mildred, aboute the age of
eighteeneyeres, of a singulare beautie, verie well tcftined^up by
her owne mother, who was likewise living, and with whom she
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TO MILITABIB PROFEBBION* 219
now remamed. It forioned that a devil of hell, called Bal-
thaser ; no inferiour devill, bat a maister deyill, a principall
officer and oommaimder in helle ; and troste me, if there were
eyer a deyill that was an honeste manne, Balthaser was he,
Bayyng that, beyng now an auncient devill, and well spente in
yeres, he beganne to waxe wanton, and to doate in the love of
Mistres Mildred ; bnt yet not like our greatest parte of lovers
now a daies, that still practise their loves unlawftilly, more for
luste then for loyaltie. But Balthaser, contrariwise, bare his
love honestlie, lawfollie, yea, and in the waie of marriage, the
whiche to bryng to passe, he toke snche continnall care and
travaile in his mynde, that he now confessed the fire of helle
to bee but a trifle, in respecte of the scorchyng flames of love ;
Bometymes conjeeturyng in his minde what bashfulnesse is
founde to bee in yong damselles in these daies, but especially
when a manne comes to proffer them love, they are so shame-
fast, that with a good wil thei would never heare of marriage
till thei were thirtie yeres old at the leaste ; and many of theiro,
if it were not for menne, I thinke, could bee well contented to
leade apes in hell : other whiles he remembered the greedie de-
sire that is generallie in parentes, who never consente to the
marriyng of their faire daughters without some greate joynter.
Now, the devill had no landes, and, therefore, to finde the beste
remedie he could, thei saie the devill is able to put uppon hym
all manor of shapes 5 so he tooke upon hym the presence and
personage of so gallant a yong gentleman, as fitted so well the
fimcie of Mistres Mildred, that, without any long circumstance,
she was contented to accept hym for her housebande: the
whiche beeyng perceived by her &ther and mother, not mindyng
to contrarie their daughter's likyng, gave their free consentee.
There was no more to dooe, but to appoincte for their marriyng
dale, the whiche beeyng once expired, the devil, sittjmg by his
beste beloved, uttered these wordes, or suche like as foUowetb.
My good Mildred, my deare and lovyng wife, I muste con-
fesse myself not a little beholdyng unto you, that, neither
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220 RICHB HIS FAREWELL
examinyng my petigree, from whence I came, neither yet how
I am able to kepe you, would, notwithstandyng, vouchsafe to
take me for your housebande, I muste thinke your courteeie
proceaded of love, and doe accoumpte myself so mnche the
more beholdyng unto you. And now to give you some triall
that you have not made your choice of a rascall, or a knave of
no reputation, I am contented to give you one demaunde, what-
soever you thinke beste to require of me ; and therefore, my
deare, aske what you liste, your desire shalbee satisfied, alwaies
provided that hereafter you never trouble me with any &rther
requestes.
The yong wife, wonderfully well contented with these lovyng
speeches of her courteous housebande, desired of hym a little
pause and respite : and now, commyng to her mother, to whom
she unfolded the whole contentes of the premises, sittyng theim
doune together to consider of the matter, after a greate nom-
ber of consultations, and as many imaginations had betwene
them, in the ende thei concluded that her request should bee
for a sute of apparell of a gallaunt fashion, but even then newlie
come up: and, commyng to her housebande with this de-
maunde, thei had therr wishe presently accomplished, and this
sute of apparell laied by them, so well made and fitted as pos-
sibly could bee desired.
Thus all parties were well pleased: thei continued in good
likyng for the space of one moneth, at whiche tyme an other
newe &shion was then come up, as well in the attiryng of their
heddes, as also in the makyng of their gounes, kirtells, and
stomachers. Mistres Mildred, beyng now quite out of con-
ceit, for that she had never a goune to putte on her backe
but of a stale cutte, and the fashion at the leaste of a
monethe olde, who would blame the gentlewoman, though she
tooke it very grievously. Alas ! her minde was so fiu* out of
quiet, that her meate almoste did her no manor of good :
whiche sodaine alteration beyng perceived by her houseband,
he beganne to intrete her to shewe hym the cause of her con-
ceived greef ; the whiche when she had reveiled, the good honest
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 221
devill her houseband saied: Well, my deare wife, although
when I satisfied your last demaunde, my conditions were that
you should never trouble me with any ftrther requestes, yet,
onoe againe to recomforte you, aske of me what you will, I will
graunte your desire ; but, to cutte you of all hope that here-
after this I wil never be troubled again with newe fashions,
assure yourself that this is the last request that ever I minde
to graunt you.
Mistres Mildred, givyng hym twentie kisses for his kind-
nesse, went again to her mother with these joyfiill newes, and,
concluding as before, thei brought the devill an invontorie of
newe &shions, beginning with cappes, caules, quayves, ruffes,
partlettes, sleeves, gounes, kirtelles, peticotes ; and there was
no stitche, no outte, no lace, no garde, nor no &shion that was
then in use, but in this inventorie it was to bee founde : and
as before, this bill was no sooner presented, but all thinges
were in readinesse, so well fitted and fashioned, as if the moste
cunnyngest workemen in Englande had been at the makyng.
But what should I sale ? Before another moneth was expired,
there was a newe invention ; for then came up newe &shions
in their caps, in their hattes, in their caules, newe fashioned
shadowes ; then came up periwigges, frizelyng, and curlyng ;
then came up dublettes, bombastyng, and bolsteryng ; newe
fiuhions in their gounes, kirtelles, and peticotes ; then thei be-
gan to weare crimsin, carnation, greene and yellowe stockynges :
to bee shorte, there was suche alteration in women^s apparell,
from the top to the toe, in a moneth, that Mistres Mildred
thought herself now againe to bee deane out of fashion, the
remembraunce whereof brought her likewise to be quite out of
countenaunce. But when she remembered how she was prohi-
bited irom makyng any further demaundes, it did so gaule her
at the harte, that now she beganne to froune, lumpe, and lowre
at her housebande, whiohe when he perceived, he saied unto
her: Why, how now, my good Mildred! I feare me thy
hedde is troubled againe with newe fiushions. From whence
commeth these 'sodaine fittes! What is the matter that
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222 RiOHB HIS FAREWELL
breedeth snehe alteration in thy maners! Tell me, I praie
thee, what is it that doeth offende thee I
The poore gentlewoman, not able to Bpeake one woorde for
weepyng, at the laste, burstyng out into these tearmes, if (c^
she) I had made my choise of a'housbande worthie of myself,
I should never have given hym cause thus to wonder at met,
nor myself have had occasion to complaine for suche a trifle,
for that I might have doen as other women doe, and Kave fol-
lowed every fiwhion and every newe devise, without either
grudgyng, or restraint of my desire : I should not then have
been injoyned to suche* a kind of silence, but I might-have
made my housebande privie to my wantes : I should not "then
have bin kept, like Jone of the countrey, in a tyrebf the dlde
fassion, devised a moneth agoe.
While Mistres Mildred was proceeding in these speedies, or
suche other like, the devill her housebande was stroke in suche
a dumpe, that, not able any longer to indure her talke, he not
onely avoided hymself from her presence, but also devised with
speede to flie the countrey ^ and commyng to Dover, thinkyng
to crosse the seas, findyng no shippyng readie, he altered his
course, and gat hym into Scotlande, never staiyng till he came
to Edenbrough, where the kyng kept his court. And now,
forgettyng all humanitie, whiche he had learned before in
Englande, he began againe a freshe to plaie the devill, and so
possessed the King of Scots himself wiih such straunge and
unacquainted passions, that, by the conjecture of phisitions
and other learned men, that were then assembled together to
judge the kynges diseases, thei al concluded that it must
needes bee some feende of hell that so disturbde their prince.
Whereupon, proclamations were presently sent forthe, that who-
soever could give releef should have a thousand crounes by the
yere, so long as he did live. The desire of these crounes caused
many to attempt the matter, but the fiirie of the devill was
suche, that no man could prevaile.
Now, it fortuned that Persinus, the &ther of Mistres Mil-
dred, at this present to be at Edenbrough, who, by constrainte
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TO MILITARIE PROFESSION. 223
of some extremitie, was now compelled to practise phisicke,
wherein he had some pretie sight ; but therewithal! so good
successe, that who but Persinus, the English phisition, had al
the name through the whole realme of Scotlande. The fame
of this phisition came to the hearyng of the kyng, who, sendyng
for Persinus, began to debate wiUi hym of the straongnesse of
his fittes, profferyng large sommes of money if he ooulde finde
a remedie : to whom Persinus answered, that it passed farre
his skill. The kyng, notwithstandyng, would not give over,
but intreated Persinus to take in hande the cure ; whiche when
he still denaied, did thinke it rather proceeded of stubbornesse
then for want of experience, wherefore he began to threaten
hym, swearyng, that if he would not accomplishe his request,
it should cost hym his life.
Persinus, seeyng hymself so hardly besteade, was contented
to trie some part of his cunnyng; and the next daie, when the
kyng was in his fitte, he was brought in to see the maner how
it helde hym. Whom the devill perceivyng to come in at the
doore, speaking to Persinus, he saied in this maner.
My father Persinus, I am glad I see you here. But what
winde hath driven you hether to this place !
Why, what arte thou, (q^ Persinus) that callest me thy
father!
Marie, (q^ the devill) I am Balthaser, that was once maried
to your daughter ; in deede, a devill of hell, though you never
knewe it before, whom your daughter weried so muche with
her newe &shions, as I had rather be in hell then married to
Buche a wife.
And arte thou, then, Balthaser? (^ Persinus) why, then, I
praie thee, good sonne, departe the Kyng of Scots ; for he
hath threatned me, for thy cause, to take awaie my life.
Marie, (^ Balthaser) even so I would have it : it were some
parte of aquitaunce for your daughter's kindnesse towaides me.
Persinus, seyng the disposition of the devill, thought it not
good to deale any farther with hym at that present ; but after-
warde, when the kyn^ was come to hymself, he requested of
f
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224 RICHE HIS FABEWELL, ETC.
hym bat respite for one moneth ; and against the daie that he
should then take him in hande againe, he devised with the
king that all the ordnaunce in the tonne might be shot of, an
the belles in the towne might be rong, and that all the trum-
pets, druinmes, and all maner of other instroments, might alto-
gether sounde about the court and lodging of the King.
These thynges beyng accordingly prepared, and the daie
come that was assigned, Persinus being with the King at the
beginning of his fit, accordyng as it was appointed, the ord-
naunce was shot of, the belles began to ring, musitions played
on eveiy side : at whiche sodaine noyse, the devill beganne to
wonder, and callyng to Persinus, he saied : Why, how now,
&ther, what meaneth all this noyse !
Why, (^ Persinus) doest thou not knowe the meanyng !
then, I perceive, devilles dooe not knowe all : but, because thou
must be acquainted with it, I will tell thee afore hande. The
laste tyme I talked with thee, thou toldest me thou hadst
married my daughter ; and thy tokens were so true, that I am
sure thou didst not lye ; for which cause, knowing where thy
bidyng is, I have sent for her to the towne, and this noyse that
thou hearest is her welcome to the courte.
And is my wife, then, come hether to seeke me out ! {(^ the
devill) then I shall sure to be troubled with new fashions.
Naie, then, farewell, Scotland ; for I had rather goe to hell.
And thus leavyug the kyng, he departed his waie.
Now to conclude. If a sillie woman were able to wearie the
devill, that troubled hym with newe fashions but once in a
moneth, I thinke- God himself will be wearied with the out-
rages of men, that are busied with new &ngles at the least
once a daie. I can no more; but wishe that gentlemen,
leavyng suche sup^ciall follies, would rather indevour them-
selves in other exercises, that might be much more beneficiall
to their countrey, and a greate deale better to then* owne repu-
tation : and thus an ende.
FINIS.
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PIERCE PENNILESS' S
SUPPLICATION TO THE DEYIL.
BY
THOMAS NASH.
FROM THE FIRST EDITION OF 1592,
COMPARED WITH LATER IMPRESSIONS.
WITH
AN INTRODUCTION AND NOTES,
BY J.PAYNE COLLIER, ESQ., F.S.A.
LONDON:
REPRINTED FOR THE SHAKESPEARE SOCIETY.
1842.
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LONDON :
P. 9nORBRI., JUH., 51, RUPRRT 8TRBKT, HATMARKFT,
PRINTER TO H. R. U. PRINCE ALBERT.
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COUNCIL
THE SHAKESPEARE SOCIETY.
THE MOST NOBLE THE MARQUESS OF KOBMANBT.
RT. HON. LORD BRATBROORE, F.S.A.
RT. HON. LORD F. EGERTON, M.P.
RT, HON. THE EARL OF GLENGALL.
RT. HON. EARL HOWE.
RT. HON. LORD LEIGH.
RT. HON. THE EARL OF P0WI8.
AMTOT> THOMAS, ESQ., F.R.S., TREAS. S. A.
ATRTON, WILLIAM, ESQ., F.R.S., F.S.A.
BOTFIELD, BERIAH, ESQ., M.P.
BRUCE, JOHN, ESQ., F.S.A.
COLLIER, J. PAYNE, ESQ., F.SJk., DIRECTOR.
CRAIK, GEORGE L., ESQ.
CUNNINGHAM, PETER, ESQ., TREASURER.
DYCE, REV. ALEXANDER.
FIELD, BARRON, ESQ.
HALLAM, HENRY, ESQ., F.R.S., V.P.S.A.
HALLIWELL, J. O., ESQ., F.R.S. F.S.A.
HARNESS, REV. WILLIAM.
MACREADY, WILLIAM C, ESQ.
MILMAN, REV. HENRY HART.
OXENFORD, JOHN, ESQ.
PETTIGREW, T. J., ESQ., F.R.S., F.S.A.
PLANCHE, J. R., ESQ., F.S.A.
THOMS, WILLIAM J., ESQ., F.S.A.
TOMLINS, F. GUEST, ESQ., SECRETARY.
WATSON, SIR FREDERICK BEILBY, K.C.H., F.R.S.
WRIGHT, THOMAS, ESQ., M.A., F.S.A.
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The Council of the Shakespeare Society desire it to be understood
that they are not answerable for any opinions or observations that
may appear in the Society's publications ; the Editors of the several
^orks being alone responsible for the same.
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INTRODUCTION.
The ensuing tract is reprinted froni the earliest im*
pression, an edition of extreme rarity, and we have com-
pared it with sabseqaent copies in 1592^ 1593, and
1595, the two last of which are of more frequent occur-
rence, though all difficult to be procured. The author,
in one of his subsequent works, (" Have with you to
Saffron Walden,") informs us that his " Pierce Penni-
less" had been six times printed between 1592 and
1596, but we have not been able to meet with more
than five impressions of those years. Its popularity
was extraordinary.
Many years ago, Mr. Octavius Gilchrist, whose know-
ledge of such matters was great, and whose taste
and judgment were good, issued a prospectus for a
reprint of " Pierce Penniless his Supplication to the
Devil ;" but his proposal (never carried into effect) was
to adopt the text of the second, and not of the first edi-
tion, which, probably, he could not obtain. The dif-
ferences are trifling, in no case (the preliminary matter
excepted) more than verbal, but, having the earliest im-
pression in our hands, we have thought it expedient to
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VI INTRODUCTION.
take that as our original, comparing it as we proceeded
with later copies : to any subsequent to 1595, it was
not necessary to resort.
This reprint, on seyeral accounts, comes peculiarly
within the prorince of the Shakespeare Society. It
contains the earliest defence of theatres and theatrical
performances and actors, (with the exception of Lodge's
tract, in answer to Gosson's " School of Abuse ")
and in its pages are found those two yery curious no-
tices of historical plays, which Shakespeare is supposed
to haye seen, if not to haye employed. ** How would
it haye joyed brave Talbot," (exclaims Nash, p. 60 of our
reprint) ^* the terror of the French, to think that after
he had lain two hundred year in his tomb, he should
triumph again on the stage, and have his bones new em-
balmed with the teares of ten thousand spectators at
least, (at several times) who, in the tragedian that re-
presents his person, imagine ^hey behold him fresh
bleeding." This passage is believed to refer to a lost
play, of which Shakespeare made use in his ** Henry
VI." Part I. ; and it establishes the great popularity of
the subject, because, at the date referred to, it is pro-
bable that none of our public theatres would contain
more than about four or five hundred persons: thus,
the drama must have been represented at least twenty
times before crowded audiences, in order to make
up the number of ^' ten thousand spectators." Ano-
ther passage, which will be read with interest, in re-
lation to the works of our great dramatist, is the fol-
lowing : — " What a glorious thing it is to have Henry
the Fifth represented on the stage, leading the French
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INTRODUCTION. Vll
king prisoner, and forcing both him and the dauphin to
swear fealty !" We know of no existing play in which
precisely sach scenes are contained, and we may, there-
fore, conclude that our old stage was in possession of
three dramas founded upon the eyents of the reign of
Henry V., viz. that described by Nash ; " The Famous
Victories of Henry the Fifth," first printed in 1598, and
Shakespeare's historical play.
Another circumstance connected with the name of
Shakespeare renders Nash's '^ Pierce Penniless " espe-
cially interesting. We find, in a poem near the com-
mencement of it, two lines, which are also contained
yerbatim in a drama, printed in 1608, with ^'written by
W. Shakspeare" on the title-page, and reprinted in 1619)
subsequently included in the third folio impression of his
works in 1664. The internal eyidence that he had some
concern in the production of it seems at least as strong
as the external, for " The Yorkshire Tragedy" comprises
lines which could scarcely haye proceeded from any other
pen. How the couplet
" Divines and dying men may talk of hell.
Bat in my heart her several torments dwell/'
came to be borrowed from Nash, and inserted in " Tlie
Yorkshire Tragedy," it is, perhaps, yain to speculate.
It was a short drama, got up in a hurry on a melancholy
incident, of then recent occurrence, and possibly the
lines we haye quoted were in the mind of the writer of
" The Yorkshire Tragedy," and were transferred to the
play, because they could be so conyeniently and appo-
sitely introduced.
But, besides these peculiar and especial claims to the
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Ylii INTRODUCTION.
attention of all who are interested in whatever relates
to Shakespeare and his productions, " Pierce Penniless"
is a very singular, highly finished, and, in many respects^
amusing picture of the manners of the times when it was
written. Some of the descriptions of persons and hahits
of different grades of society have remarkable force, and
obvious fidelity, and carry with them the conviction, that
little is to be allowed even for the exaggerations of a poet.
If ash was a young man who had mixed in most of the
scenes he paints ; and his style is unusually pure and
free from those inflations and bombastic expressions,
which, as we read, induce a doubt as to the truth and
accuracy of the representations of which they form a
part. His eloquence is natural and flowing ; and although
now and then we meet with what may be looked upon as
a trifling affectation of scholastic learning, yet compared
with many, if not most, of his scribbling contemporaries^
he is very free from this defect : his writings are gene-
/ rally to be regarded as models of choice, nervous, and
idiomatic English. If not the best, he was certainly
one of the best prose authors of the period in which he
flourished. As a vigorous, pungent, and bitterly sati-
rical writer, it may be doubted whether he ever had his
equal in our language.
At the time when he produced " Pierce Penniless,"
he must have been a young man, and in one place he
speaks of his " beardless years." He was of St. John's
College, Cambridge, and took his degree of B.A. in
1585.* This is almost the only date connected with his
* He tells us himself in his " Lenten Stnff/' 1599, a tract in praise
of red herrings, reprinted in both editions of the Harleian Miscellany,
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INTRODUCTION. ix
private history that can be fixed with certainty ; but he
is supposed to have quitted the university in some dis-
grace about 1586, and he certainly never proceeded Mas-
ter of Arts. The cause of his disgrace has nowhere been
explained, and we find the consequences of it thus al-
luded to by the anonymous author of a tract called
" Polymanteia," printed in 1595: ** Cambridge, make
thy two children friends : thou hast been unkind to one
to wean him before his time, and too fond upon the
other to keep him so long without preferment : the one
is ancient, and of much reading ; the other is young, but
full of wit." The one who was " ancient, and of much
reading,'* was Nash's antagonist, Gabriel Harvey, of whom
we shall have more to say hereafter ; the other, to whom
Cambridge had been " unkind'' in " weaning him before
his time," and who was " full of wit," was Nash ; and
the expression is too unequivocal (coupling it with the
fact that Nash never became M. A.) to allow us to doubt
that he left his college under some imputation of mis-
conduct. It has been stated that he was concerned in
writing a satirical production, called Terminus et non
that he was horn at Leostoff, in Saffolk, hut he does not give any
date. He farther informs us that his family belonged to the Nash's
of Herefordshire. He addressed a private letter to Sir Robert Cotton,
(preserved in the British Museum, and printed in '* The Hist, of
Engl. Dram. Poetry and the Stage/' i., 303) and called him his
" right worshipfull and loving cousin." Like nearly all Nash's com-
positions, it is fall of curious allusions to circumstances of the time,
among others to the publication of Sir J. Harington's *' Metamor-
phosis of Ajax," which serves to fix the date of the letter shortly
after 1596. Nash was then poor, and pleaded poverty to Sir Robert
Cotton^ observing, " I am merry now, though I have ne'er a penny
in my purse."
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X INTRODUCTION.
Terminus, which gave great offence^ and that his partner
in the oomposition, whoever he might be, was expelled.
No record of the expulsion of Nash, if, indeed, such me-
morials were preserved at that date, has been discovered.
It appears from more than one of Nash*s productions,
that he had visited Italj,^ and that he had also been in
Ireland before 1589 : possibly he travelled for a short
time after he had been ejected from Cambridge ; but we
find him in London in 1587, in which year he wrote a
very amusing and clever introductory epistle to a tract
[hj the celebrated Robert Greene, called " Menaphon,"
iafterwards better known by the name of " Greene's Ar-
cadia,'' the title it bore in the later impressions.*^ This
^ The passage npoD this point in Nash's " Almond for a Parrot/'
(printed without date, but anterior to 1590) is too carious, with re-
ference both to him and Kemp, the actor of Dogberry, Peter,
&c., in Shakespeare's plays, to require any excuse for quoting it«
" Coming (says Nash) from Venice this last summer, and taking
Bergamo in my way homeward to England, it was my hap, sojourn-
ing there some four or five days, to light in fellowship with that
famous Francattip harlequin, who, perceiving me to be an English-
man by my habit and speech, asked me many particulars of the
order and manner of our plays, which he termed by the name of re-
presentations. Amongst other talk, he inquired of me if I knew any
such Parabolano, here in London, as Signior Charlatano Kempino ?
Very well, (quoth I) and have been often in his company. He
hearing me say so, began to embrace me anew, and ofiered me all
the courtesy he could for his sake, saying, although he knew him
not, yet for the report he had heard of his pleasance, he could not
but be in love with his perfections being absent." Mr. Halliwell, in
his notes to the L%id»9 Coventria, printed for this Society, has shewn
(p. 410) that Kemp afterwards visited Italy.
« We take the date of Greene's " Menaphon," 1587, from the
edition of that author's " Dramatic Works," by the Rev. A. Dyce.
He does not seem to have met with any copy of it of so early a date
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INTRODUCTION. XI
seems to have been Nash's earliest appearance in the cha-
racter of an author, bnt his style, even at that period, is
remarkable for its viyacity, grace, and facility.
He promised his ** Anatomy of Absurditie" in that
epistle, and accordingly it came ont in 1589, bnt several )
other productions in the same year are attributed to him. '
It is certain that about this date he embarked in his con-
test with the Puritans, and directed against them a pow-
erful battery of satire and ridicule in various publications.
This was the opening of what was termed the ^^ Martin-
Marprelate controversy,'' in which Nash belaboured his
adversaries without measure or mercy. At this period
he wrote his *' Plaine Percevall, the Peace-maker of
England," 1689; "Martin's Month's Mind," 1589;
" The Return of the renowned Cavaliero, Pasquil of
England," 1589 ; his '* Almond for a Parrot," which is
without date, but certainly published before 1590;
and his " Pasquil's Apology," which bears date in that
year. Some of these pieces are anonymous, but there is
little doubt that they came from his pen, and they are
all in the same free and unrestrained style of witty sar-
casm, convincing argument, and ludicrous invective.
Even deprived of the temporary interest which belonged
to the subject, all these productions are extremely plea-
sant reading, and while going through them, we are as-
tonished at the exhaustless stores of the writer's terms
of humorous objurgation.
The adversaries of Nash in this literary conflict were
as 1587, and quotes the title-page of the impression of 1589. It was
also printed in 1599, 1605, 1610, 1616, and 1634. It was reprinted
in vol. i. of •• Archaica," edited by the late Sir Egerton Brydges.
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XU INTRODUCTION.
" legion ;" bat they were no match for him at any point
but in tedious quotations from Scripture. Having si-
lenced them^ at least for a time, his next antagonist was
a single individual, of great learning and considerable
talents, whose name has before been introduced — Gabriel
Harvey, There were three Harveys, (xabriel, Kichard,
and John, and Nash and his friend, Robert Greene, un-
luckily discovered that they were the sons of a rope-
maker* John and Richard Harvey were astronomers,
or, perhaps more properly, astrologers, and published
some predictions (referred to in the body of the tract
now reprinted), which never came to pass, although the
writers were imprudent enough to stake their profes-
sional reputation upon their punctual fulfilment. Nash,
laughed at their disappointment ; and, as we may conclude
from what is said in " Pierce Penniless,*' thereby in-
curred the wrath of Gabriel Harvey, who came forward
in defence of his brothers, and incidentally of him-
self against the imputation of the lowness of their origin.
Nash retorted in his " Wonderful Strange Astrological
Prognostication," which made its appearance in 1591,
and to which (xabriel Harvey replied, as we learn from
Nash, promulgating the name of the author, which, we
apprehend, (for we have never seen the tract) was con-
cealed. Hence the revenge taken by Nash in some of the
following pages, though he conceals the name of the
individual who had made the attack upon him.
There seems little reason to doubt that Nash wrote
" Pierce Penniless his Supplication to the Devil," to relieve
himself from pressing temporary necessity. He avows
his extreme poverty in the outset, and laments the little
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INTRODUCTION. Xlll
encoaragement given by the rich to writers, whether of
poetry or prose. The first edition was published (as
will be seen by our exact reprint of the title-page) by
Richard Jones, who was the ** book-midwife" to many
authors of the day, especially to those whose produc-
tions were of a lighter and more popular character.
Whether Nash sold the MS. to him does not appear ;
but he was absent when it was printed, and the proba-
bility is that he did procure money for it from Jones :
in his epistle before the second edition, (which we
shall insert presently) he does not pretend that the
bookseller had come unfairly by the copy. The prin-
cipal ground of Nash's complaint was that the publisher
had put a '^ long-tailed title" to it, and had thus let the
author, " in the forefront of his book, make a tedious
mountebank's oration to the reader," This of itself is
somewhat curious, if not important, as a piece of literary
history, since it shews that in many cases the lengthy lau-
datory title-pages to tracts of the time were not the
composition of the writer of the body of the work, but
of the bookseller who wished to make it sell. It strongly
confirms, too, the opinion of some of the commentators
on Shakespeare, that, when we find his " Merchant of
Venice" called " a most excellent history," or " Love's
Labours Lost" a " fine conceited comedy," the author
of those plays had nothing to do with such descriptive
designations. Nash was decidedly opposed to such
" tricks of trade," and, accordingly, the " forefront" of
the second edition of his " Pierce Penniless" was, as he
directed, simply in these terms :
•* Pierce Fenilessehis Supplication to the Diuell. Barbaria grandis
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XIV INTRODUCTION.
habere nihil. Written by ThomaB Nash, Gent. London, printed
by AbeU Jeffes, for L B. 1592."
Nash's letter to Jeffes, preceding this impression, is
well worth preserving, and we subjoin it, by pennis8ion>
from a copy in the library of Lord Francis Egerton.
'* A prwate Epistle of the Author to the Printer. Wherein hie fiM
meaning and purpose (m publishing this books) is setfoorth.
*' Faith, I am verie sorrie (sir) I am thus miawares betrayed to
infamie. You write to me, my book is hasting to the second impres-
sion : he that hath once broke the ice of impudence need not care
how deepe he wade in discredit. I confesse it to be a meer toy, not
deseruing any judicial mans view : if it haue found any friends, so it
is ; you knowe very wel that it was abroad a fortnight ere I knewe of
it, & vncorrected and vnfinished, it hath offired it selfe to the open
scorne of the world. Had you not beene so forward in the repub-
lishing of it, you shold haue had certayne epistles to orators and
poets, to insert to the later end : as, namely, to the ghost of Ma-
chevill, of Tully, of Ovid, of Roscius, of Pace, the Duke of Norfolk's
jester ; and, lastly, to the ghost of Robert Greene, telling him what
a coyle there is with pampheting on him after his death. These
were prepared for Pierce Penilesse first setting foorth, had not the
feare of infection detained mee with my lord in the countrey.
" Now, this is that I woulde haue you to do in this second edition.
First, cut off that long-tayled title, and let mee not, in the forefront
of my booke, make a tedious mountebank's oration to the reader,
when in the whole there is nothing praise-worthie,
" I heare say, there bee obscure imitators, that goe about to frame
a second part to it, and offer it to sell in Paules Church-yard and
elsewhere, as from mee. Let mee request you (as ever you will ex-
pect any favour at my hands) to get some body to write an epistle
before it, ere you set it to sale againe, importmg thus much : — that if
any such lewde devise intrude it selfe to their hands, it is a cosenage,
and plaine knauery of him that sels it, to get mony, and that I haue
no manner of interest or acquaintance with it. Indeed, if my ley*
sure were such as I could wish, I might haps (halfe a yeare hence)
write the returne of the Knight of the Post from Hel, with the
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INTRODUCTION. XV
Devth answer to the SvpplieatUm; bat, as for a second part of
Pierce Penilesse, it is a most ridiculous rogery.
" Other news I am aduertised of, that a scald trivial lying pamphlet,
cald Greens Groats-worth of Wit, is given out to be of my doing.
God neuer haue care of my soule, but utterly renounce me, if the
least word or Billable in it proceeded from my pen, or if I were any
way privie to the writing or printing of it. I am growne at length
to see into the vanity of the world more than euer I did, and now I
condemne my selfe for nothing so much as playing the dolt in print.
Out vpon it ! it is odious, specially in this moralizing age, wherein
euery one seeks to shew himselfe a polititian by mis-interpreting.
In one place of my booke Pierce Pemiesse saith, but to the knight
of the post, / prt^f how might I call you; & they say I meant one
Howe, a knaue of that trade^ that I neuer heard of before. The an*
tiquaries are offended without cause, thinking I goe about to detract
from that excellent profession, when (God is my witnesse) I rever-
ence it as much as any of them all, and had no manner of allusion to
them that stumble at it. I hope they wil gtue me leave to think
there be fooles of that art, as well as of al other ; but to say I utterly
condemne it as an unfruitfull studie, or seeme to despise the excel*
lent qualified partes of it, is a most false and injurious surmise.
There is nothing that, if a man list, he may not wrest or pervert : I
cannot forbid anie to thinke villainously. Sed caveat emptor. Let
the interpreter beware, for none euer hard me make allegories of an
idle text. Write who wil against me, but let him look his life be
without scandale ; for if he touch me neuer so little, De be as good
as the Blacke Booke to him & his kindred. Beggerly lyes no beg-
gerly wit but can invent : who spumeth not at a dead dogge ? but
I am of another mettal : they shall know that I Hue as their evil
angel, to haunt them world without end, if they disquiet me without
cause. Farewell, and let me heare from you as soone as it is come
forth. I am the plagues prisoner in the country as yet : if the sick-
nesse cease before the thirde impression, I wil come and alter what*
soeuer may be offensive to any man, and bring you the latter
ende.
" Your friend,
" Tho. Nash."
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XVI INTRODUCTION.
There are several passages in the preceding epistle
which require brief notice. In the first place, it appears
that Nash had by this time found a patron, for he says
that ^' the fear of infection had detained him with his
lord in the country." This nobleman may have been
the personage whom Nash celebrates under the name of
Amyntas, at the conclusion of " Pierce Penniless," and
to whom he there contends Spenser ought to have in-
serted a sonnet with the others at the end of his " Faerie
Queene," 1590. While Nash was thus resident with his
lord in the country, his " Summer's Last Will and Tes-
tament" was performed as a private show, and a clue
may be afforded to the name of the peer who had taken
Nash under his protection, by the fact that it was repre-
sented at Croydon, as appears from the piece itself.^ In-
ternal evidence proves that it was acted in the autumn
of 159S. The terms in which Nash speaks of his dead
friend Greene's " Groatsworth of Wit" (which originally
came out in 1592) are deserving remark. It appears
that the authorship of it had been imputed to Nash ; and
this we learn, not merely on the evidence of Nash himself
in the preceding " epistle," but on that of Henry Chettle,
who published his " Kind Heart's Dream" (without
date) early in 1593. Nash somewhat angrily repudiates
Greene's tract as " a scald, trivial, lying pamphlet ;" and,
^ See a reprint of it, from the only impression in 1600, in the
last edition of •* Dodsley's Old Plays," which also contains Peek's
" Edward the First," 1593, Lodge's " Wounds of CivU War/'
1594. and Greene's "Friar Bacon and Friar Bungay," 1594, as
well as " Appius and Virginia," by R. B., 1575, and the interlude of
•' The World and the Child," 1522, all for the first time included in
that Collection.
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INTRODUCTION. XVU
possibly, one of the " lying " portions of it, in the opi-
nion of Nash, was that in which an attack was made
upon Shakespeare as " the only Shake-scene of a coun-
try," and as ** an upstart crow, beautified with the
feathers" of other poets. We have the more reason to
believe that this injurious character of our great dra-
matist was rejected by his contemporaries, because, in
the preliminary matter to his " Kind Heart's Dream,"
Chettle himself apologises for it in terms that do
him great credit.® As he had committed a wrong,
he was anxious to make the earliest and best amends
in his power.
" The Black Book," spoken of by Nash, may have
been the work which the Rev. Mr. Dyce places among
Greene's tracts, called " The Black Bookes Messenger,"
printed in 159S. In 1604 was published a pamphlet,
called " The Black Book," which has been assigned to
Middleton, and which must have been a considerably
later production.
ISfash, in his letter to Jeffes, with some indignation
« See the ezceUent reprint of this very rare and interesting tract
(of which only two copies seem to be known), made under the able
superintendence of Mr. Rimbault for the Percy Society. Chettle
(speaking, no doubt, of Shakespeare, although he does not name
him) there says that *' he had himself seen his demeanour no less
civil than he exceUent in the quality he professed : besides [he adds]
divers of worship have reported his uprightness of dealing, which
argues his honesty, and his facetious grace in writing, that approves
his art/' (p. iv.) This was intended by Chettle, and no doubt received
by Shakespeare, as sufficient amends for the offensive expressions in
the " Groatsworth of Wit." Nash, we may be certain, wrote to
Jeffes before " Kind Heart's Dream" was published.
b
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XVlll INTRODUCTION.
disavows any " second part" to his " Pierce Penniless,"
and denies that he had had any hand in such a produc*
tion, should it he offered for sale in the trade ; at the
same time he admits that, if leisure permitted, he might
he disposed to write " The Return of the Knight of the
Post from Hell with the Devil's Answer to the Suppli-
cation ; " and an anonymous piece, with a correspond-
ing title, came out in 1606, considerably after Nash's
death, and which in name alone resembled the original.
Dekker, too, in the same year, put forth a tract, which
he called " News from Hell, brought by the Devil's
Carrier," in which he endeavoured, though only with
moderate success, to imitate the humorous and satirical
vein of his predecessor.
The literary " flyting," (as it would have been called
in Scotland) between Nash and Gabriel Harvey, was main-
tained for several years,^ with one considerable interval,
when hostilities ceased, as if a truce had been agreed to
by each party. As this subject has been as accurately
as entertainingly treated by Mr. D'Israeli, in his " Ca-
' It is thus alluded to by the celebrated old poet, Thomas Church-
yard, who began writing under Lord Surrey, and did not lay down
his pen, tiU he laid down his life in 1G04: the following stanza is
from his " Pleasant Conceit penned in Verse," 1593.
" No writer now dare say the crowe is blacke.
For cruell kytes will crave the cause and why :
A faire white goose bears feathers on her backe.
That gaggles still, much like a chattering pye.
The angel bright, that Gabrill is, in sky
ShaU know that Nash I love and will doe still.
When GabrilVs words scarce win our world's good will."
Nash had secured the permanent kindness of Churchyard by praising
his ballad of " Shore's Wife," which some enemies of the veteran
versifier had insisted was too good to have been written by him.
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INTRODUCTION. XIX
lamities of Aathors/' it is not necessary to enter farther
into the subject here» than to make the following quota-
tion from Nash's ** Have with you to Safifron Walden,"
1596, with reference to the origin of the quarrel. It is
to be observed that this admirable tract terminated the
hostility between the parties, for the heavy-harnessed
Harvey never again ventured to enter the lists with his
light-armed, active, and most annoying antagonist.fl^ In
the pamphlet last mentioned, Nash asserts that the quar-
rel was entirely of Harvey's " seeking and beginning, in
Hie Lamb of God [a work mentioned in the ensuing
pages], where he and his brother * ♦ • scummered out
betwixt them an epistle to the readers against all poets
and writers; and M. Lily [the dramatic poet, and author
of Pap with a Hatchet ] and me by name he beruffianised
and berascalled, compared to Martin, and termed us
piperly make-plays and make-bates, yet bade us hold
our peace, and not be so hardy as to answer him ; for, if
we did, he would make a bloody day in Paul's Church-
yard, and splinter our pens till they straddled again as
wide as a pair of compasses." — (Sign. V 2.) Nash's
rancour against Harvey was increased by the fact that
the latter wrote a most severe and gross attack upon
Greene after his death, and when he seems to have
supposed that nobody would be ready to take up the
cudgels for that prolific pamphleteer.
We have already noticed Nash's " Summer's Last
V If Harvey ever replied, it was in the character of Richard Lich-
fields the Cambridge barber, id a small tract, entitled " The Trim-
ming of Thomas Nash," printed in 1597. The contest was then
put a stop to by the public authorities.
b2
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XX INTRODUCTION.
Wai and Testament," acted in 1592, but not printed
until 1600. He also assisted Marlowe in the composi-
tion of their fine tragedy, " Dido, Queen of Carthage,'*
printed in 1594, the year after the death of the great
poet, who, we may conjecture, had the principal share
in the composition. These are the only dramatic works
in which Nash was concerned that have come down to
our day, but he wrote and suffered in 1597 for a play
called ** The Isle of Dogs," which no doubt was of a
satirical description, and gave so much offence that Hens-
lowe's company, by which it was acted, was silenced for
a time, and the author, after having been brought be-
fore the Privy Council, was imprisoned. How long
he was confined no authority that we have met with
mentions; but when he wrote his " Lenten Stuff," in
1599, he alluded to it himself vrith evident satisfaction,
as a trouble from which he had escaped without injury
to his character.
It will be seen that, near the conmiencement of the
ensuing tract, Nash introduces the name of Sir Philip
Sidney, as that of a man who knew how to value and
reward learning and talents, Nash, in the preceding
year, had contributed to the popularity of Sidney
by editing an impression of his poems, prefacing it
by a long and interesting letter, of which no notice
has ever been taken, on account of the extraordi-
nary rarity of the volume to which it belongs. Only
a single copy of it is known ; and as it is in a pri-
vate collection, and may never be accessible to those
who are curious in such matters, a literal copy of the
title-page will not be unacceptable :
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INTRODUCTION. XXI
•• Syr P. S. His Astrophel and Stella. Wherein the excellence of
sweete Poesie is concluded. To the end of which are added sundry
other rare Sonnets of divers Noblemen and Gentlemen. At London,
Printed for Thomas Newman. Anno Domini, 1591."
The miscellaneous poems at tne end of this " Astro-
phel and Stella " are chiefly by Samuel Daniel, twenty-
eight of whose sonnets are inserted : all of these, with
the exception of four, were included in the " Delia " of
1592, and in subsequent editions of that beautiful work :
in the first impression of 1592, Daniel complains that
" a greedy printer had published some of his sonnets
with those of Sir Philip Sidney," referring to Nash's
edition of " Astrophel and Stella." Some poems by
E. 0,, meaning, no doubt, the Earl of Oxford, and by
anonymous versifiers, who subscribe " Content," and
Megliora Spero, accompany Daniel's sonnets ; and the
U7iique volume is concluded by the two subsequent
stanzas, to which no name, initial, nor motto is sub-
scribed, and which we may conclude, both from that
circumstance and from their tenor, were by Nash. The
lines are not much in themselves, but the existence of
them has never been hinted at by any of tie biogra-
phers of Nash, nor by a single bibliographical antiquary.
" If floads of teares could dense my follies past.
And smokes of sighes might sacrifice for sin ;
If groning cries might salve my fault at last.
Or endles mone for error pardon win ;
Then would I crie, weepe, sigh, and ever mone
Mine error, fault, sins, follies, past and gone.
** I see my hopes must wither in their hud ;
I sec my favours are no lasting flowers ;
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xxii INTRODUCTION.
I see that words will breath no better good
Than losse of time, and lightning but at bowers :
Then, when I see, then this I say, therefore.
That favours, hopes, and words can blind no more."
It is to be remarked that another edition of Sidney's
"Astrophel and Stella" was published in 1691. It
was a corrected and authentic impression, as far as a
judgment can be formed from its appearance; while
that edited by Nash (who, we may presume, was selected
for the purpose on account of his popularity as an au-
thor) was most probably surreptitious. Newman, the
bookseller, in his dedication of the small volume, admits
that the MS. from which it was printed had been " much
corrupted by ill writers."
In an Introduction, like the present, to one of Nash's
most celebrated pieces, we shall not think any apology
necessary for quoting at length, from the earliest im-
pression of " Astrophel and Stella," the prefatory let-
ter of its avowed editor. Until now it has not seen the
light from the period of its first publication, and al-
though bibliographers may have been aware of its ex-
istence, not a single extract, quotation from it, or even
reference to it, has ever been made, that has come under
our observation. Every thing Nash wrote must have its
recommendations, of thought, language, or allusion ; but
the commencement of what follows is written in a
somewhat grandiloquent and turgid strain, unlike his
usual style ; but after he has dismissed his compliment
to the Countess of Pembroke, he alights from his stilts,
and talks in his usual easy, sprightly, and pointed
manner.
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INTRODUCTION. XXlll
" Somewhat TO readk for them that list.
" Tempus adest plausus aureapompa venit — so endes the Sceane of
Idiots, and enter Astrophel in pompe. Gentlemen, that have seene
a thousand lines of folly drawn forth ex uno puncto impudentue, and
two famous mountains to goe to the conception of one mouse ; that
haue had your eares deafned with the eccho of Fames hrazen towres,
when only they have been toucht with a leaden pen ; that have seene
Pan sitting in his bower of delights, & a number of Midasses to ad-
mire his miserable hornepipes, let not your surfeted sight, new come
from such puppet play, thinke scome to turn aside into this theater
of pleasure ; for here you shall find a paper stage strewd with pearle,
an artificial heaven to ouershadow the faire frame, and christal wala
to encounter your carious eyes, whiles the tragicommedy of love is
performed by starlight. The chiefe actor here is Melpomene, whose
dusky robes, dipt in the ynke of teares, as yet seeme to drop when I
view them neare. The argument cruel chastity, the prologue hope,
the epilogue dispaire, videte quaso, et Unguis animisque favete. And
here, peradventure, my witles youth may be taxt with a margent
note of presumption for offering to put up any motion of applause in
the behalfe of so excellent a poet, (the least sillable of whose name,
sounded in the eares of judgement, is able to giue the meanest line he
writes a dowry of immortality) yet those who observe how jewels
oftentimes com to their hands that know not their value, & that the
cockscombes of our dales, like Esops cock, had rather have a barley
kemell wrapt up in a ballet, then they wil dig for the welth of wit in
any ground that they know not, I hope wil also hold me excused,
though I open the gate to his glory, and invite idle eares to the ad-
miration of his melancholy.
" Quidpeiitur sacris nisi tantum/ama poetis,
which, although it be oftentimes imprisoned in ladyes caskFetJs, and
the president booke of such as cannot see without another man's
spectacles, yet at length it breakes foorth in spight of his keepers,
and useth some private penne (in steed of a picklock) to procure his
violent enlargement.
" The sunne for a time may maske his golden head in a cloud,
yet in the end the thicke vaile doth vanish, and his embellished
blandishment appeares. Long hath Astrophel (England's sunne)
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XXlY INTRODUCTION.
withheld the beames of his spirite from the common view of our
darke sence, and night hath hovered oner the gardens of the
Nine Sisters, while ignis fatuus, and grosee fatty flames, (such as com-
monly arise out of dunghilles) have tooke occasion, in the middest
eclipse of his shining perfections, to wander abroade with a wispe of
paper at their tailes, like hobgoblins, and leade men vp and downe
in a circle of absnrditie a whole weeke, and never know where they
are. But nowe that cloude of sorrow is dissolved, which fierie Loue
exhaled from his dewie haire, and affection hath vnburthened the
labouring streames of her wombe in the low cesterne of his grave :
the night hath resigned her jettie throne vnto Lucifer, and cleere
daylight possesseth the skie that was dimmed : wherfore breake off
your daunce, you fairies & elves, and come from the fieldes, with the
tome carcases of your tunbrills, for your kingdome is expired. Put
out your rush candles, you poets & rimers, and bequeath your crazed
quarterzayns to the chandlers ; for, loe ! here he commeth that hath
broken your legs. Apollo hath resigned his ivory harp vnto Astro-
phel, and he^ like Mercury, must lull you a sleep with his musicke.
Sleep Argus, sleepe Ignorance, sleep Impudence, for Mercury hath
lo, & only lo Pcean belongeth to Astrophel. Deare Astrophel ! that
in the ashes of thy loue, liuest againe like the Phanix ; 6 might thy
bodie (as thy name) line againe here amongst us ; but the earth, the
mother of mortalities hath snatcht thee too soone into her chilled
colde armes, and will not let thee by any meanes be drawne from her
deadly imbrace ; & thy diuine soule, carried on angels wings to
heauen, is installed in Hermes place, sole prolocutor to the gods.
Therefore mayest thou neuer retume from the Elisian Fieldes like
Orpheus, therefore must we ever mourne for our Orpheus,
" Fayne would a second spring of passion heere spende it selfe on
his sweet remembrance; but religion, that rebuketh prophane la-
mentation, driukes in the riuers of those dispaireful teares, which
languorous ruth hath outwelled, & bids me looke backe to the house
of honor, where, from one & the selfe same roote of renowne, I shal
And many goodly branches deriued, & such as, with the spreading
increase of their vertues, may somewhat ouerahadow the griefe of
his los. Amongst the which, fayre sister o£ Phcebus, & eloquent
secretary to the Muses, most rare Countesse of Pembroke, thou art
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INTRODUCTION. XXV
not to be omitted ; whom artes doe adore as a second Minerva, and
our poets extoll as the patronesse of their invention ; for in thee the
Lesbian Sappho, with her lirick harpe, is disgraced, & the laarel gar-
lande, which thy brother so braaely advanst on his launce, is still
kept greene in the temple of Pallas, Thou only sacrificest thy soule
to contemplation ; thou only entertainest emptie-handed Homer, &
keepest the springs of Castalia from being dried vp. Learning,
wisedom, beautie, & all other ornaments of nobilitie whatsoeuer^
seeke to approve theroselaes in thy sight, and get a farther scale of
felicity from the smiles of thy fauonr.
" O Jove digna viro ni Jove nata fores.
" I feare I shall be coanted a mercemary flatterer, for mixing my
thoughts with such figurative admiration ; but generall report, that
Burpasseth my praise, condemneth my rethoricke of dulnesse for so
colde a commendation. Indeede, to say the truth, my stile is somewhat
heavie gated, and cannot daunce trip and goe it soliuely, with oh my
love, ah my love, all my loues gone, as other shepheards that have been
fooles in the morris time out of minde ; nor hath my prose any skill to
imitate the almond leafe verse, or sit tabring five yeres together no-
thing but to bee, to bee, on a paper drum. Onely I can keepe pace
with a Grauesend barge, and care not if I have water enough to land
my ship of fooles with the tearrae (the tyde I should say). Now,
euery man is not of that minde ; for some to go the lighter away will
take in their fraught of spangled feathers, golden peebles^ straw,
reedes, bulrushes, or any thing, and then they beare out their sayles
as proudly, as if they were balisted with bullbeefe. Others are so
hardly bested for loading, that they are faine to retaile the cinders of
Troy, and the shiuers of broken trunchions to fill vp their boate, that
else should goe empty ; and if they haue but a pound weight of good
merchandise, it shall be placed at the poope, or pluckt in a thousand
pieces to credit their carriage. For my part, euery man as he likes,
Meus cujusque is est quisque^ Tis as good to goe in cut fingerd
pumps as corke shoes, if one weare Cornish diamonds on his toes.
To explain it by a more familiar example ; an asse is no great states-
man in the beastes common- wealth, though he weare his eares
upsevant muffe, after the Muscovy fashion, & hange the lip like a
capcasc halfe open, or looke as demurely as a sixpenny browne loafe.
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XXVI INTRODUCTION.
for he hath some imperfections that do keepe him from the common
councel : yet of many he is deemed a very vertaous memheo and one
of the honestest sort of men that are ; so that our opinion (as Sextna
Empedocles) gives the name of good or ill to every thing. Out of
whose works (latelie translated into English for the benefit of
unlearned writers) a man might collect a whole booke of this argu-
ment, which no doubt would prove a worthy common-wealth matter,
and far better than wits waxe karvell : much good worship haue
the author.
" Such is this golden age wherein we live, & so replenisht with
golden asses of all sortes, that if learning had lost it selfe in a groue
of genealogies, wee neede doe no more but sette an old olde goose
ouer halfe a dozen pottle pots (which arc, as it were, the egges of
invention) and wee shall haue such a breede of bookes within a little
while after, as will fill all the world with the wilde fowle of good
wits. I can tell you this is a harder thing then making gold of
quicksilver, and will trouble you more then the morrall of Esops
glow-worme hath troubled our English apes ; who, striving to warme
themselues with the flame of the philosophers stone, have spent all
their wealth in buying bellowes to blowe this false fyre. Gentle-
men, I feare I have too much presumed on your idle leysure, and
beene too bold to stand talking all this while in an other mans
doore ; but now I will leave you to survey the pleasures of Paphos,
and ofifer your smiles on the aulter of Venus,
" Yours in all desire to please,
" Tho. Nashk."
It seems evident that Nash felt, in the opening of the
preceding epistle, (which we give literatim) that he was
perfonning a task ; but, towards the conclusion, he freed
himself from this impression, and shook off the restraint
upon his pen. It is impossible -at this time of day to ex-
plain some of the temporary, and designedly ambiguous,
touches at authors of his day near the close, but the hit
'at Peele and his "Tale of Troy," 1589, seems pretty
obvious, and Nash sets out with an obscure reference to
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INTRODUCTION. XXVU
Greene, and to the manner in which he was accustomed
to yaunt his uniyersity degrees at Oxford and Cambridge
in the title-pages of his tracts.^ Nash must have taken
his degree of Bachelor of Arts at a very early age, if in
1691 he could talk of his "witless youth" with any
regard to accuracy.
We have already spoken of Nash's imprisonment in
1597, for writing his play called "The Isle of Dogs,"
and we have no trace that he subsequently contributed
any thing to the stage. His genius does not, in fact,
seem to have been dramatic ; nor was it narrative, as
may be judged from his " Life of Jack Wilton," printed
in 1594, which he confesses (in the dedication to the
Earl of Southampton) to be in " a clean different vein
from his other former courses of writing." It was ac-
knowledged to be a failure, and he never attempted any
thing more of the kind.* His pious strains were at
^ Nash probably had some quarrel with Greene not very long
after he had written for him the preliminary epistle to " Menaphon,"
in 1587. In his " Anatomie of Absurditie/' 1589^ he casts ridi-
cule upon his productions, calls him the •* Homer of women," and
ends one of his paragraphs thus : " Therefore, see how far they
swerve from their purpose, who with Greene colours seeke to garnish
such Gorgon-like shapes." That they afterwards were upon good
terms again is very certain, but it is possible that Nash at no time
had his satirical pen under very good control, and that he now
and then wielded it even against those with whom he was most inti-
mate. His good sense and his good taste were offended by the af- '
fected style of some of his contemporaries, and in the tract above
quoted^ he abuses those writers who attributed to minerals and
herbs properties not belonging to them, for the sake of founding
affected similes upon imaginary qualities.
* It is remarkable that Nash has left nothing behind him in prose
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XX VlU INTRODUCTION.
least more acceptable, and his " Christ's Tears over Je-
rusalem" went through three editions, in 1593, 1594,
and 1613. Here it was that he endeavoured to make
amends to, and peace with, Gubriel Harvey ; but the
offer was most ungraciously and ungenerously rejected
by the latter in his " New Letter of Notable Contents,"
1593. The consequence was, that Nash renewed the
attack with redoubled vigour in a prefatory epistle to
the copies of his " Christ's Tears," bearing date in 1594.
As bibliographers have passed over this remarkable
production without notice, in consequence, perhaps, of
the belief that the impression of 1594 was only a re-
print of that of 1593, we shall present a few interesting
extracts from it ; and, first, what Nash says of Harvey,
after lamenting that he had ever made overtures of
peace to his adversary.
" I thought to make my foe a bridge of golde, or faire words, to
Hie by ; be hath vsed it as a high way to inuade me. Hoc pia lingua
dedit : this it is to deale plainely. An extreme gall he is in this
age, and no better, that beleeves a man for his swearing. Im-
or poetry that is devoted to the sabject most common to all versi-
fiers — love. It appears, by his " Anatomie of Absurditie/' 1589,
(dedicated to Sir Charles Blunt) that he had been enamoured of
some lady two summers before, and that, meeting with a disappoint-
ment, it had produced a " pensiveness," which long continued to
weigh upon his spirits. It is very clear that the lady had been false ;
for in the same tract he declares, '• Constancy will sooner inhabit
the body of a cameleon, a tiger, or a wolfe, than the heart of a
woman."
j Sir Egerton Brydges reprinted Nash's " Christ's Tears over
Jerusalem," in " Archaica," vol. i. but from the impression of 1613,
and without the highly interesting epistle to which we refer.
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INTRODUCTION. XXIJC
pious Gabriell Harvey, the vowed enemie to all vowes and pro-
testations, plucking on with a slavish prinat submission a generall
publike reconciliation, hath, with a cunning ambuscado of con-
fiscated idle others^ welneare betrayed me to infamie etemall (his
owne proper chaire of torment in hell). I can say no more, but the
deuill and he be no men of their words. Many courses there be, as
Machiavell inspirdly sets downe, which in them selues seem singular
and vertuous ; but, if a man follow them, they wilbe his vtter sub-
uersion : others that seeme absurd, odious, and vitious, that, well
looked into, will breede him most ease. This course of shaking
hands with Harvey seemd at first most plausible and commendable^
and the rather because I desired to conforme my selfe to the holy sub-
ject of my booke ; but afterwards (being by his malice peruerted) it
seemd most degenerate and abject. Henceforth, with the forenamd
Machiavel, for an vnrefutable principle I will hold it, that he is
vtterly vndone which seekes by new good tumes to roote out old
lodges. A prouerbe it is as stale as sea-beefe : saue a thief from
the gallows, and hee'le be the first to shew the way to Saint Gilesesse.
Harvey I manifestly saued from the knot vnder the eare : verily, he
hath hanged him selfe had I gone forwards in my vengeance."
This last obseryation forms, in fact, the point of an
epigram upon Nash by Freeman, quoted in " Dodsley's
Old Plays," last edit., vol. ix., p. 8. Nash afterwards
vindicates John Lily, ** poor deceased Kit Marlowe,"
and Dr. Peme ; and from thence proceeds thus to notice
complaints made against his " Life of Jack Wilton.'*
" Leave we him [Harvey] till his fatall houre call for him, and let
vs cast about to some more necessarie matter. I am informed there
be certaine busie wits abrode, that seeke, in my Jacke WUtan, to
anagram matize the name of Wittenberge to one of the Vniversities
of England ; that scome to be counted honest, plaine meaning men,
like their neighbours, for not so much as out of mutton and potage
but they will construe a meaning of kings and princes. Let one but
name bread, but they will interpret it to be the towne of Bredau in
the low countreyes ; if of beere he talkes, then straight he mockes
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XXX INTRODUCTION.
the coantie Beroune in France. If of foule weather, or a shower of
raioe, he hath relation to some that shall raigne next. Infinite nana-
her of theee phanatical strange hierogliphicks haue these new deci-
pherers framed to them seines, & stretcht words on the tenter hooks
so miserably^ that a man were as good, considering every circum-
stance, write on cheveril as on paper."
Some parties had objected to the style in which
Nash's " Christ's Tears over Jerusalem" was written,
and especially of the compound words he had employed
in it, thereby likening our language, as one of our old
dramatists beautifully expresses it, to
" the learned Greek,
Blest in the lovely marriage of sweet words."
To these critics Nash answers happily as follows :
" To the second rancke of reprehenders, that complain of my
hoystrous compound wordes, and ending my Italionate coyned verhes
all in ize, thas I replie : That no winde that hlowes strong hut is
hoystrous ; no speech or wordes of any power or force to confute or
perswade, hut must he swelling and hoystrous. For the compounding
of my wordes, therein I imitate rich men, who, having store of white
single money together, convert a number of those small little sentes
into great peeces of gold, such as double pistoles and portugues. Our
English tongue, of all languages, most swarmeth with the single
money of monosillables, which are tlie onely scandal of it. Bookes
written in them, and no other, seeme like shop-keepers' boxes, that
containe nothing else saue halfe-pence, three-farthings, and two
pences. Therefore what did me I, but, having a huge heape of
those worthlesse shreds of small English in my pia maters purse, to
make the royaller shew with them to men's eyes, had them to the
compounders immediately, and exchanged them foure into one, and
others into more, according to the Greek, French, Spanish, and
Italian."
Farther on in the same epistle Nash introduces Spenser
by name, and makes yarious allusions to his contem-
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INTRODUCTION. XXxi
poraries, some of which are now hardly intelligible, but
most of them interesting to literary antiquaries. We
regret that we have not room for the whole of this curious
production.
His last publication was his "Lenten Stuff," in
1599, unless we are to consider his "Summer's Last
Will and Testament," in 1600, an authorized impression.
Dispute has arisen respecting the period of his death,
some maintaining that it took place in 1604 (see "The
Bridgewater Catalogue," p. 200), and others, that it
happened eariier. The Rev. Mr. Dyce, in his edition of
Middleton's Works, (vol. i., p. xviii.) is in favour of the
latter opinion, founding himself on a passage in a play
called " The Return from Parnassus," printed in 1606,
but originally acted before the death of Queen Elizabeth.^
No doubt can be entertained upon the point by those
who refer to Charies Fitzgeoffrey's " Affanise, sive Epi-
grammatum Libri Tres," printed in 1601 ; for among the
Cenotaphia we meet with the following, which is, of
course, quite decisive. We reprint it precisely as it
stands in the original.
" THOMiE Nasho.
** Qaam Mors edictom Jovis imperiale secata
Vitalis Naehi extingueret atra faces ;
k The editor of the last edition of " Dodsley's Old Plays" (who,
in fact, excepting in some scattered notes, was only the editor of six
additional plays, then inserted for the first time) had stated the same
opinion about fifteen years before, in the notice of Nash which pre-
cedes the reprint of " Sammer's Last Will and Testament," in these
words : '' It is certain that Nash was not living at the time when ' The
Return from Parnassus' was produced, which, though not printed until
1606, was written before the end of the reign of Elizabeth."
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XXXU INTRODUCTION-
Annatam jnveni linguam calamumqae tremendum
(Fulmina bina) prins insidio&a rapit ;
Moz ilium aggreditnr nudum, atque invadit inerm^,
Atqne ita de victo vate trophea refert.
Cur si vel calamus praestb vel lingua fuisset.
Ipsa quidem metuit mors truculenta mori."
Whether the wording of this cenotaph should be under-
stood literally, or only poetically, may admit of doubt,
but it is not the first time the same point has been em-
ployed for a similar occasion. At all events, it is now
clear that Nash was dead in 1601, and this is probably
the nearest point at which we shall be able to arrive. It
is somewhat singular, therefore, that Dekker, writing in
1607, when his " Knight's Conjuring" (which is a re-
print, with additions, of his " News from Hell") was
published, should speak of Nash as " newly come" to the
Elysian fields. At that date he had been dead at least
eight years ; and this fact may give some countenance to
the belief that " The Knight's Conjuring," either by that
or some other name, was an earlier publication than Mr.
Rimbault has supposed in his excellently-edited reprint
: of it for the Percy Society. The conclusion of that tract
[ is perhaps more interesting than any other of the time,
I since it contains notices of the following contemporaries
of Dekker, then dead — Spenser, Watson, Kyd, Achelley,
' Bentley (the actor), Marlowe, Greene, Peele, and, lastly,
Nash. To revive such productions is rendering an im-
portant service to our early literature.
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PIERCE PENILESSE
HIS SUPPLICATION TO
THE DEUILL.
Describing the ouer-spreading of Vice, and
the suppression of Vertue.
Pleasantly interlac'd with variable delights ; and
pathetically intermixt with conceipted
reproofes.
Written by Thomas Nash, Gentleman.
LONDON,
Imprinted by Richard Ihones, dwelling at the
Signe of the Rose and Crowne^ nere
Holbume Bridge.
1592.
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THE PRINTER TO THE GENTLEMEN
READERS.
Gentlemen,
In the Authour's absence^ I haue been bold to
publish this pleasaunt and wittie discourse of Pierce
Penilesse, his Supplication to the Diuell: which title,
though it may seeme strange, and in it selfe somewhat
preposterous, yet if you vouchsafe the reading, you shall
iinde reason, as well for the Authour's vncouth nomina-
tion, as for his vnwonted beginning without epistle,
proeme, or dedication : al which he hath inserted con-
ceitedly in the matter ; but He be no blab to tell you in
what place. Bestow the looking, and I doubt not but
you shall finde dedication, epistle, and proeme to your
liking, •
Yours bounden in affection,
R.L
h2
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PIERCE PENILESSE, HIS SUPPLICA-
TION TO THE DIUELL.
Hauing spent manie yeres in studying how to liue,
and liude a long time without money ; hauing tyred my
youth with foUie, and surfeited my minde with vanitie, I
began at lengtli to looke backe to repentaunce, & ad-
dresse my endeuors to prosperities But all in vaine ; I
sate vp late> & rose early, contended with the colde^ and
conuersed with scarcitie ; for all my labours turned to
losse, my vulgar muse was despised & neglected, my
paines not regarded, or slightly rewarded, and I my selfe
(in prime of my best wit) layde open to pouertie. Where- Djscite qui
upon (in a malecontent humor) I accused my fortune, fap»t»» c'i"» .
* ^ ' \ bSBC qilSB RCl-
raild on my patrones, bit my pen, rent my papers, and mus merles :
ragde in all points like a mad man. In which agonie ^cies^'^er fera
tormenting my selfe a long time, I grew by degrees to a bella sequi.
milde dis-content ; and pausing a while ouer my stan-
dish, I resolued in verse to paynt forth my passion:
which, best agreeing with the vaine of my vnrest, I began
to complaine in this sort : —
Why is't damnation to despaire and dye, Estaliquidfa-
When life is my true happinesse disease? p^r verba le-
My soule, my soule, thy safetie makes me flye v^''^*
The faultie meanes, that might my paine appease.
Diuines and dying men may talke of hell.
But in my hart her seuerall torments dwell.
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6 PIERCE PENILESSE.
iD^enio j)crii Ah worthlesse wit, to traine me to this woe,
meo. Deceitful! artes, that nourish discontent !
Ill thriue the follie that hewitcht me so ;
Vaine thoughts eulieu, for now I will repent :
Paupertas And yet my wants perswade me to proceede,
ut versus fa^ Since none takes pitie of a schoUer's neede.
cerem.
Forgiue me, God, although I curse my birth,
And ban the aire, wherein I breathe a wretch ;
Since miserie hath daunted all my mirth,
And I am quite vndone through promise-breach.
Pol me occi- Qh frends ! no frends, that then vngently frowne.
distis, amici. . o ^ »
When changing fortune casts vs headlong downe.
Without redresse complaynes my carelesse verse,
Hei mihi. And Mydcus eares relent not at my moane :
2«c meadicS ^"^ «^™ ^""^ ^^ ^"^ ^ ™y g"®"^« ""^^^^^
movent. 'Mongst them that will be moou'd when I shall groane.
England adieu, the soyle that brought me foorth ;
Adieu vnkinde, where skill is nothing woorth.
These rymes thuss abruptly set dowoe, I tost my ima-
gination a thousand wayes, to see if I coulde finde anie
meanes to relieue my estate ; but all my thoughts con-
sorted to this conclusion, that the world was vncharitable.
Miser est qui- ^^^ I ordained to be miserable. Thereby I grew to cod-
cunque serum- gj^j^j. j^^^ manie base men, that wanted those parts which
nam suam ne- ' ^
quit occul- I had, enioyed content at will, and had wealth at com-
^^^' maund : I cald to mind a cobler, that was worth fine hun-
dred pound ; an hostler that had built a goodly Inne,
and might dispende fortie pounds yerely by his land ; a
carre-man in a lether pilche, that had whipt a thousand
Fortuna fa- pound out of his horse tayle : and haue I more wit than
tet fatuos. all these ? (thought I to my selfe) am I better borne ?
am I better brought vp ? yea, and better fauored ? and
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PIERCE PENILE8SE. 7
yet am I a begeer? What is the cause? how am I Mentis ex-
, ... rt pendite cau-
cro6t, or whence is this curse? sam.
Euen from hence, that men that should employ such
as I am« are enamoured of their owne wits, and thinke
whateuer they doo is excellent, though it be neuer so
Bcurvie ; that learning (of the ignorant) is rated after
the value of the inke and paper ; and a scriuener better
paid for an .obligation, than a schoUer for the best poeme
he can make ; that euerie grosse brainde idiot is suffered
to come into print, who, if bee set fborth a pamphlet of Scribimus in-
the praise of pudding pricks, or write a treatise of Tom poemata pas-
Thumme, or the exployts of Vntrusse, it is bought vp **™'
thicke and three-folde, when better things lye dead«
How then can wee chuse but be needie, when there are
»o manie droanes amongst us ? or euer proue rich, that
toyle a whole yeare for faire lookes ?
Gentle Sir Philip Sydney, thou knewst what belongd Cultor et An-
to a scboUer ; thou knewest what paines, what toyle, /um'saucte'
what trauell conduct to perfection : well couldst thou virorum.
giue euerie vertue his encouragement, euerie arte his
due, euerie writer his desert, cause none more vertuous,
wittie, or learned than thy selfe*
But thou art dead in thy graue, and hast left too few H*^" rapiunt
eucoeesors of thy glorie, too fewe to cherish the sonnes of nos.
the muses, or water those budding hopes with their
plentie, which thy bountie erst planted.
Beleeue me, gentlemen, (for some crosse mishappes Fluctibus in
haue taught me experience) there is not that strict obser- PaiillureVe-'"
nation of honour, which hath been heretofore. Men of liuq""*
great calling take it of merit to haue their names eter-
nisht by poets ; and whatsouer pamphlet or dedication
encounters them, they put it vp their sleeues, and scarce
giue him thankes that presents it. Much better is it for
those golden pennes to raise such vngratefull peasants
from the dung-hill of obscuritie, and make them equal
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8 PIERCE PENILESSB.
in fame to tlie worthies of olde, when their doating selfe-
loue shall challenge it of dutie, and not onely giue them
nothing themselues, but impouerish liberalitie in others.
This is the lamentable condition of our times, that
men of arte must seek almes of cormorants, and those
that deserue best be kept vnder by dunces, who count
it a policie to keep them bare, because they shuld follow
their books the better ; thinking belike, that, as prefer-
ment hath made themselves idle, that were earst painfull
in meaner places, so it would likewise slacken the endea^
uours of those students, that as yet strive to excell in
hope of aduauncement. A good pollicie to suppresse su-
perfluous liberalitie; but, had it been practised when
they were promoted, the yeomandry of the realme had
been better to passe than it is, and one droane should
not haue driuen so manie bees from theyr honie-combes*
I, I, wele giue loosers leaue to talke : it is no matter
what sic probo and his pennilesse companions prate,
whilst we haue the gold in our coffers : this is it that
will make a knaue an honest man, and my neighbour
Crompton's stripling a better gentleman than his grand
sier. O ! it is a trim thing when Pride, the sonne, goes
before, and Shame, the father, foUowes after. Such pre-
sidents there are in our common-wealth a great manie ;
not so much of them whome learning and Industrie hath
exalted, (whome I prefer before genus ei proavos) as of
carterly vpstart«, that out-face towne and countrey in
their veluets, when Sir Rowland Russet-coat, their dad,
goes sagging euerie day in his round gascoynes of white
cotton, and hath much adoo (poore pennie-father) to
keepe his vnthrift elbowes in reparations.
Marry, happie are they, say I, that haue such fathers to
worke for them whilst they play ; for where other men
turn ouer manie leaues to get bread and cheese in their
olde age, and studie twentie yeares to distill golde out of
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PIERCE PENILESSE. 9
incke, our yong masters doo nothing but deuise how to
spend, and aske counsaile of the wine and capons, how
they may quickliest consume their patrimonies. As for
me, I liue secure from all such perturbations; for
(thankes bee to God) I am vacuus viator, and care not,
though I meete the commissioners of New> market-heath
at high midnight, for anie crosses, images, or pictures
that I Carrie about mee, more than needes.
Than needes, quoth I ; nay, I would be ashamde of it,
if opus and usus were not knocking at my doore twenty
times a weeke when I am not within : the more is the
pittie, that such a franke gentleman as I should want ;
but, since the dice doo runne so vntowardly on my side,
I am partly prouided of a remedie. For whereas, those
that stand most on their honour haue shut vp their
purses, and shift vs off with court holly-bread ; and on
the other side, a number of hypocriticall hot-spurres,
that haue O O D alwayes in theyr mouthes, will give
nothing for Code's sake ; I haue clapt vp a handsome
Supplication to the Diuell, and sent it by a good fellowi
that I know will deliuer it.
And because you may beleeue me the better, I care not
if I acquaint you with the circumstance. I was informd
of late dayes, that a certaine blinde retayler, called the
Diuell, vsed to lend money vpon pawnes or anie thing, and
would let one for a need haue a thousand pouudes vppon
a statute merchant of his soule : or if a man plyde him
throughly, would trust him vppon a bill of his hand, witli-
out anie more circumstaunce. Besides, hee was noted
for a priuie benefactor to traytors and parasites, and
to aduaunce fooles and asses farre sooner than anie ; to
be a greedie pursuer of newes, and so famous a politician
in purchasing, that Hel, which at the beginning was but
an obscure village, is now become a huge citie, whervnto
all countreys are tributarie.
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10 PIERCE PENILESSE.
These manifest coniectures of pleotie, assembled in one
common-place of abilitie, I determined to clawe Auarice
by the elboe, till his full belly gaue me a full hand ; and
let him bloud with my pen (if it might be) in tlie veyne
of Liberalitie: and so (in short time) was this paper-
monster. Pierce Penilesse, begotten.
But written and all, here lies the question ; where shall
I finde this old asse, that I may deliuer it ? Mas, thats
true : they say the lawyers haue the Diuel and all, and
it is like enough he is playing ambodexter amongst
them. Fie ! fie ! the Diuell a driver in Westminster
Hall? it can neuer be.
Now, I pray, what doo you imagine him to be ? Per-
haps you thinke it is not possible he should be so graue.
Oh ! then, you are in an errour, for hee is as formale as
the best scriuener of them all. Marry, hee doth not vse
to weare a night- cap, for bis homes will not let him ; and
yet I know a hundred, as well headed as he, that will make
a jolly shift with a court-cup on their crownes, if the
weather bee colde.
To proceed with my tale. To Westminster Hall I went,
and made a search of enquirie, from the blacke gowne
to the buckram bag, if there were anie such serjeant,
bencher, counsailer, atturney, or pettifc^ger, as Signior
Comuio Diabolo, with the good face ? But they all (vni
voce) affirmed that be was not there : marry, whether hee
were at the Exchange or no, amongst the ritch mer-
chants, that they could not tell ; but it was the likelier
of the two, that I should meete with him, or heare of him,
(at the least) in those quarters. I faith, and say you so ?
quoth I ; and lie bestow a little labour more^ but He hunt
him out.
Without more circumstance, thether came I ; and,
thrusting my selfe (as the manner is) amongst the con-
fusion of languages, I askt (as before) whether he were
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PIEECE PENILESSE. 11
there extant or no ? But from one to another, Non notd
D^Bmoneniy was all the answere I could get. At length
(as Fortune serude) I lighted vppon an old, straddling
usurer, clad in a damaske cassocke, edgde with fox-furre;
a paire of trunke slops, sagging down like a shoomaker^s
wallet, and a short tlirid-bare gown on his backe, fac't
with moath-eaten budge : vpon his head he wore a filthy,
coarse biggin^ and next it a garnish of night-caps^ with
a sage butten cap of the forme of a cow sheard, ouerspred
verie orderly : a fat chufFe it was (I remember), with a
grey beard cut short to the stumps, as though it were
grymde, and a huge, worm-eaten nose, like a cluster of
grapes hanging downwards. Of him I demaunded, if hee
could tell me anie tidings of the partie I sought for.
By my troth, quoth he, stripUng, (and then he cought)
I saw him not lately, nor know I certainly where he
keepes ; but thus much I heard by a broker, a friend of
mine, that hath had some dealings with him in his time,
that hee is at home sicke of the goute, and will not be
spoken withall vnder more than thou art able to giue,
some two or three hundred angels, if thou hast anie sute
to him ; and then, perhaps, hele straine curtesie, with his
legges in child bed, and come forth and talke with thee ;
but, otherwise, non est domi — he is busie with Mammon
and the Prince of the North, howe to build vp his king-
dome, or sending his sprites abroad to vndermine the ma-
ligners of his gouernment.
I, hearing of thiscolde comfort, tooke my leaue of him
very faintly, and, like a carelesse malcontent, that knewe
not which way to turne, retyred me to Paules, to seeke
my dinner with Duke Humfrey ; but, when I came there,
the olde souldiour was not vp. He is long a rising,
thought I j but that's all one, for he that hath no money
in his purse, must go dine with Sir John Best-be-trust,
at the signe of the Chalke and Post.
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12 PIERCE PENILESSE.
Two hongry turnes had I scarce fetcht in this wast gal-
lery, where I was encountered by a neat pedanticall fellow,
in forme of a cittizen ; who thrusting himselfe abruptly in-
to my companie, like an intelligencer, began very earnestly
to question with mee about the cause of my discontent,
or what made me so sad, that seemed too young to bee
acquainted with sorrow. I, nothing nice to vnfold my
estate to any what soeuer, discourst to him the whole
circumstance of my care, and what toyll and paynes I had
tooke in searching for him that woulde not bee heard of.
Why, sir (quoth hee), had I been priuie to your purpose
before, I could haue easd you of thys trauell ; for, if it
be the deuill you seeke for, know I am his man. I pray,
Non bene sir, how might I call you ? A knight of the post, quoth
dunt"S^luria ^^^ ^^^ ^^ ^ ^^ tearmed ; a fellow that will sweare you
testes. any thing for twelve pence ; but, indeede, I am a spirite
in nature and essence, that take vppon mee this humaine
shape, onely to set men together by the eares, and send
soules by millions to hell.
Now, trust mee, a substantial trade; but when doe
you send next to your master ? Why, euery day ; for
there is not a cormorant that dyes, or cut-purse that is
hangM, but I dispatch letters by his soule to him, and to
all my friends in the low countreys : wherefore, if you
haue anie thing that you would haue transported, giue it
ine, and I will see it deliuered.
Yes, marry haue I (quoth I) a certayne Supplication
here to your master, which you may petuse if it please
you. With that he opened it, and read as followeth :
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PIERCE PENILESSB. 18
To the High and Mightie Prince of Darknesse,
Donsell dell Lucifer, King of Acheron, Styx,
and Phlegeton, Duke of Tartary, Mar-
quesse of Conytus, and Lord High
Regent of Lymbo, his distressed
Orator, Pierce Penilesse, wisheth
encrease of damnation and
malediction eternal, per
Jesum Christum Do-
minum Nostrum.
Most humbly sueth unto your sinfulness your single
soald orator, Pierce Penilesse : that whereas your impious
excellence hath had the poore tennement of his purse any No : He be
time this halfe yeere for your dauncing schoole, and he ^ ]^^i^ ^{[ue i
(notwithstanding) hath received no peny nor crosse for '^^^*
farme, according to the usuall manner, it may please your
gracelesse Majestic to consider of him, and give order to
your servant Avarice he may be dispatched; insomuch as
no man heere in London can haue a dauncing schoole with-
out rent, and his wit and knavery cannot be maintained
with nothing. Or, if this be not so plausible to your
honourable infemalship, it might seem good to your hel-
hood to make extent upon the soules of a number of un-
charitable cormorants, who, having incurd the daunger
of a prcemunire with medling with matters that properly
concerne your owne person, deserve no longer to live (as
men) amongst men, but to bee incorporated in the society
of divels. By which meanes the mighty controuler of
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14 PIERCE PENILESSE.
fortune and imperious subverter of destiny, delicious gold,
the poore man^s god, and idoll of princes (that lookes
pale and wanne through imprisonment) might at length
be restored to bis powerful! monarchie, and eflsoon bee
set at liberty, to helpe his friends that have neede of him.
Id est, for the I knowe a great sort of good fellowes that would ven-
gold. ^^^ f'*^'^® ^°^ ^^s freedom, and a number of needy lawyers
(who now mourne in threed bare gownes for his thral-
dome) that would go neere to poison his keepers with false
Latine, if that might procure his enlargement ; but inex-
orable yron detaines him in the dungeon of the night, so
that now (poore creature) hee can neither trafique with
the mercers and tailers as he was wont, nor dominere in
tavernes as he ought
Famine, Lent, and Dessolation, set in onion skind
jackets before the doore of his indurance, as a chorus in
tragedie of Hospitality, to tell Hunger and Poverty thers
no reliefe for them there ; and in the inner part of this
The descrip- Ugly habitation stands Greedinesse, prepared to devoure
dine^ ^^ ^ *^*^ enter, attired in a capouch of written parchment,
buttond downe before with labels of wax, and lined with
sheepes fels for warmenes : his cappe furd with catskins,
after the Muscovie fashion, and all to be tasseld with
angle hookes, instead of aglets, ready to catch hold of all
those to whom he shewes any humblenes : for his breeches,
they were made of the lists of broad cloaths, which he
had by letters pattents assured him and his heyres, to the
utter overthrowe of bow-cases and cushin-makersj and
bumbasted they were, like beer barrels, with statute mar-
chants and forfeitures : but of all his shooes were the
strangest, which, being nothing els but a couple of crab
shels, were tooth'd at the toes with two sharp sixpeny
nailes, that dig'd up every dunghill they came by for
gold, and snarl'd at the stones as he went in the street,
because they were so common for men, women, and chil-
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PIERCE PENILESSE. 15
dren, to tread upon, and he could not devise how to wrest
an odde fine out of any of them.
Thug walkes he up and downe all his life time, with
an yron crow in his hand instead of a sta£Fe, and a satjants
mace in his mouth, (which night and day he gnawd upon)
and either busies himselfe in setting silver lime twigs, to
entangle young gentlemen, and casting foorth silken
shraps, to catch woodcocks, or in syving of Muck-hills
and shop-dust, whereof he will boult a whole cart load
to gain a bowM pinne.
On the other side, Dame Niggardize, his wife, in a The descrip-
sedge rugge kirtle, that had beene a matte time out of Jj?" ""l^,^^^
mind, a course hempen rayle about her shoulders, bor-
rowed of the one ende of a hop beg, an apron made of
almanackes out of date, (such as stand vpon screenes, or
on the backside of a dore in a chandlers shop) and an
olde wiues pudding pan on her head, thrumd with the
parings of her nayles, sate barrelling vp the droppings of
her nose, in steed of oyle, to sayme wool withall, and
would not aduenture to spit without halfe a dozen of
porrengers at her elbow.
The house, (or rather the hell) where these two earth-
wormes encaptiued this beautifuU substaunce, was vast,
large, strong built, and well furnished, all save the
kitchin ; for that was no bigger than the cooks roome in
a ship, with a little court chimney, about the compasse
of a parenihe$i8 in proclamation-print : then judge you
what diminutiue dishes came out of this doues-neast. So,
likewise, of the buttrie ; for whereas in houses of such
stately foundation, that are built to outward shewe so
magnificent, euerie office is answerable to the hall, which
is principall, there the buttrie was no more but a blind
cole-house, vnder a paire of stayres, wherein (vprising
and downe lying) was but one single kilderkin of small
beere, that would make a man, with a carrouse of a
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16 FIERCE FENILESSE.
spooneful, runne through an alphabet of faces. Nor usd
they any glasses or cups (as other men), but onely little
farthing ounce boxes, whereof one of them fild vp with
froath ^n manner and forme of an alehouse) was a
meales allowance for the whole houshold. It were
lamentable to tell what miserie the rattes and myce
endured in this hard world ; how, when all supply of
victualls fayled them, they went a boot-haling one night
to Sinior Greedinesse bed-chamber, where, finding no-
thing but emptinesse and vastitie, they encountred
(after long inquisition) with a cod-peece, well dunged
and manured with greace (which my pinch-fart penie*
father had retaind from his Bachelorship, vntill the eat-
ing of these presents). Vppon that they set, and with
a couragious assault rent it cleane away from the
breeches^ and then carried it in triumph, like a coffin, on
their shoulders betwixt them. The verie spiders and
dust-weauers, that wont to set vp their loomes ill euerie
windowe^ decayed and vndone through the extreame
dearth of the place, (that affoorded them no matter to
worke on) were constrained to breake, against their
wills, and goe dwell in the countrey, out of the reach of
the broome and the wing : and generally, not a flea nor
a cricket that caried anie braue minde, that would stay
there after he had once tasted the order of their fare.
Onely unfortunate golde (a predestinate slaue to drudges
and fooles) lines in endlesse bondage there amongst them,
and may no way be releast, except you send the rot halfe
a yeare amongst his keepers, and so make them away
with a murrion, one after another.
The com- O ! but a farre greater enormitie raigneth in the heart
^^^de ^^ ^^ *^® ^^^'^ • ^"^®> ^'^® peruerter of all vertue, sitteth
apparailed in the merchants spoyles, and mine of yong
citizens, and scorneth learning, that gaue their vp-start
fathers titles of gentrie.
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PIERCE PENILESSE. 17
All malcontent sits the greasie sonne of a cloathier. The nati\re of
and complaines (like a decayed carle) of the mine of *° "P***""'
ancient houses ; whereas, the weauers loomes first framed
the web of his honour, and the locks of wool, that bushes
and brambles haue tooke for toule of insolent sheepe
that would needs striue for the wall of a fir-bush, haue
made him of the tenths of their tarre, a squier of low de-
gree; and of the collections of the scatterings, a justice,
Tarn Marti quam Mercurioj of peace and of coram. Hee
will bee humorous, forsooth, and haue a broode of fashions
by himselfe. Somtimes (because Love commonly wears the
liuerie of Wit) hee will be an Inamorato Poeta^ and son-
net a whole quire of paper in praise of Ladie Manibetter,
his yeolowfac'd mistres, and wear a feather of her rain-
beaten £Emne for a fauor, like a fore-horse. All Italio*
naio is his talke, aud his spade peake is as sharpe as if
he had been a pioner before the walls of Roan. Hee will
despise the barbarisme of his owne countrey, and tell a
whole legend of lyes of his trauayles vnto Constantinople*
If he be challenged to fight from his delaterie dye-case,
hee obiects that it is not the custome of tlie Spaniard, or
the Germaine, to looke backe to euerie dog that barkes*
You shall see a dapper Jacke^ that hath beene but once
at Deepe, wring his face round about, as a man would
stirre vp a mustard pot, and talke English through the
teeth, like Jaques Scabd-hams, or Monsieur Mingo de
Moustrapo ; when (poore slaue) he hath but dipt his bread
in wylde boares greace, and come home againe, or been
bitten by the shinnes by a wolfe ; and saith, he hath ad-
ventured vppon the barricadoes of Gurney, or Guingan,
and fought with the yong Guise hand to hand.
Some thinke to be counted rare politicians and statesmen. The counter-
by beeing solitarie : as who should say, I am a wise man, '^'^ politician.
a braue man, Secreta mea miM : frustra sapitf qui sibi
non sapit ; and there is no man worthie of my companie or
c
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18 PIERCE PENILE8SE.
friendship^ when, although he goes vngaitned like a male-
content cutpursse, and weares his hat oner his eyes lyke
one of the cursed crue, yet cannot his stabbing dagger^
or his nittie loue-locke, keepe him out of the legend of
fantasticall cockscombes. I pray ye, good Mounsier
Diuell, take some order, that the streetes be not pestered
with them so as they are. Is it not a pitiful thing that
a fellow that eates not a good meales meat in a weeke,
but beggereth his belly quite and cleane, to make his
backe a certain kind of brokerly gentleman, and nowe
and then (once or twice in a tearme) comes to the
eighteene pence ordenarie, because hee would be scene
amongst caualiers and braue courtyers, lyuing otherwise
all the yeere long with salt butter and Holland cheese in
his chamber, shoulde take vppe a scomf ull, melancholike
course in his gate and countenance, and talke as though
our common- wealth were but a mockery of gouernment^
and our majestrates fooles, who, wronging him in not
looking into his deserts, not imploying him in state
matters, and that, if more regard were not had of him
very shortly, the whole realme should have a misse of
him, and he would go (I mary would he) where he should
be more accounted off.
Is it not wonderfuU ill-prouided, I say, that this dis-
dainfuU companion is not made one of the fratemitie of
fooles, to talke before great states, with some olde mothe-
eaten polititian, of mending high waies, and leading
armies into Fraunce.
The prodigall A young heyre, or cockney, that is his mothers darling,
young mas- j£ j^^ ^^^^^ playde the waste-good at the Innes of the
Court, or about London, and that neither his students
pension, nor his outhrifts credite, will seme to maintaine
his coUidge of whores any longer, falles in a quarrelling
humor with his fortune, because she made him not king
of the Indies, and sweares and stares, after ten in the
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PIERCE PENILESSE. 19
hundreth, that nere a such pesant, aa his father or brother,
shall keep him vnder : he will go to the sea« and teare
the gold out of the Spanyards throats, but he will haue
it, byrlady : and when he comes there, poore soule, hee
lyes in brine, in balist, and is lamentable sicke of the
scurvyes ; his dayntie fSeu-e is turned to a hungry feast of
dogs and cats, or haberdine and poore John, at the most ;
and, which is lamentablest of all, that without mustard.
As a mad ruffion, on a time, being in daunger of ship-
wrack by a tempest, and seeing all other at their vowes
and praiers, that if it would please God, of his infinite
goodnesse, to deliuer them out of that imminent daunger,
one woulde abiure this sinne, whereunto he was adicted ;
an other, make satisfaction for that vyolence he had
committed ; he, in a desperate jest, began thus to recon-
cile his soule to heauen, *'0 Liord 1 if it may seeme good
to thee to deliuer me from this feare of vntimely death,
I vowe before thy throne, and all thy starry host, neuer
to eate haberdine more whilst I Hue/'
Well, so it fell out, that the sky cleared and the
tempest ceased, and this carelesse wretch, that made such
a mockery of praier, ready to set foote a land, cried
out: Not without mustard, good lord! not without
mustard; as though it had been the greatest torment
in the world to haue eaten haberdine without mustard.
But this by the way, what pennance can be greater for
pride, than to let it swinge in hys owne halter ? Dtike
beUum tneaperiis : theres no man loues the smoake of his
owne countrey that hath not been syngde in the flame
. of an other soyle. It is a pleasant thing, ouer a fulle
pot, to read the fable of thirsty Tantalus, but a hard
matter to disgest salt meates at sea, with stinking
water.
Another misery of pride it is, when men that haue The pride of
good parts, and beare the name of deepe scholers, cannot ^**® iea»^n«a-
c«
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be content to participate one faith with all Christendome,
but, because they will get a name to their vaineglory,
they will set their self loue to study to inuent new sects
of singularities thinking to liue when they are dead, by
hauing theyr sect called after their names ; as Donatists
of Donatus, Arrianus of Arrius, and a number more new
faith-founders, that haue made England the exchange of
innouations, and almost as much confusion of religion in
euerie quarter, as there was of tongues at the building of
the Tower of Babell. Whence, a number that fetch the
articles of their beleefe out of Aristotle, and thinke of
heauen and hell as the heathen philosophers, take occa-
sion to deride our eclesiasticall state, and all ceremonies
of diuine worship, as bug-beares and scar-crowes, be-
cause (like Herodes souldiers) we diuide Christs garment
amongest vs in so manie peeces, and of the vesture of
saluation make some of us babies and apes coates,' others
straight trusses and diuells breeches, some gaily gas-
Coynes, or a shipmans hose ; like the Anabaptists and
adulterous Familists, others with the Martinists, a hood
with two faces, to hide their hypocrisie, and, to conclude,
some, like the Barrowists and Greenwoodians, a garment
fill of the plague, which is not to be worn before it be
ney^ washt.
Hence atheists triumph and reioyce, and talke as pro-
phanely of the Bible, as of Beuis of Hampton. I heare
say there be mathematitians abroad that will prooue men
before Adam ; and they are harboured in high places,
who will maintayne it, to the death, that there are no
diuells.
Thedevill It is a shame {Senior Belzibub) that you shoulde
(as other ^^'^ suffer yourselfe thus to be tearmed a bastard, or not ap-
nien), but proue to your predestinate children, not only that they
know their ^'^"® ^ father, but that you are hee that must owne them.
owne father. Xhese are but the suburbes of the sinne we haue in hand :
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PIERCE PENILESSE. SI
I must describe to you a large cittie, wlioly inhabited
with this damnable enormitie.
In one place let me shewe you a base artificer, that The pride of
hath no reuenues to host on but a needle in his bosome, " * **"'
as braue as any pensioner or nobleman.
In an other comer, Mistris Minx, a marchants wife. The pride of
that will eate no cherries, forsooth, but when they are at ^jves.
twentie shillings a pound, that lookes as simperingly as
if she were besmeard, and iets it as gingerly as if she
were dancing the canaries, she is so finicall in her speach,
as though she spake nothing but what she had first sewd
ouer before in her samplers, and the puling accent of her
Yoyce 16 like a fained treble, or ones voyce that interprets
to the puppets. What should I tell how squeamish she is
in her dyet, what toyle she puts her poore seruants vnto,
to make her looking glasses in the pauement? how she
wil not goe into the fieldes, to cowre on the greene grasse,
but shee must haue a coatch for hir convoy, and spends
halfe a day in pranking her self, if shee bee inuited to
anie strange place? Is not this the excesse of pride,
Signior Sathan ? Goe too ; you are vnwise, if you make
her not a chiefe saint in yomr calender* ^
The next obiect that encounters my eyes, is some such The pride of
obscure vpstart gallants as, without desert or seruice, are JJ^^ng up of
raised from the plough to be checkmate with princes : nothing,
and these I can no better compare than to creatures that
are bred sine coitu, as crickets in chimnyes ; to which I
resemble poore scuUians, that, from turning spit in the
chimney comer, are on the »odayne hoysed vp from the
kitchen into the wayting chamber, or made barons of the
beanes, and marquesses of the mary-boanes : some by
corrupt water, as gnats, to which we may liken brewers,
that, by retayling filthie Thames water, come in few
yeres to be worth fortie or fiftie thousand pound : others
by dead wine, as little flying wormes ; and so the vintners
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9X PIERCE PENILESSE.
in like ease : others by slime, as frogs, which may be al-
luded to Mother Bunches slymie ale, that hath made her,
and some other of her fil pot familie so wealthier others
by dirt, as wormes, and so I know manie gold-finders
and hostlers come vp : some by hearbs, as cankers, and
after the same sort our apothecaries : others by ashes, as
scarabes, and how else get our colliers the pence ? others
from the putrified flesh of dead beasts, as bees of bulls,
and butchers by fly-blowne beefe, waspes of horses, and
haekney-men by selling their lame iades to huntsmen, for
carrion.
Sparagus a Yet am I not against it, that these men by their me-
never ^row- chanicall trades should come to be sparage gentlemen
thr ^"h '^^ chufip-headed Burghomasters; but that better places
man's dung, should bee possessed by coystrells, and the coblers crowe,
for crying but ave C^esar^ be more esteemed than rarer
birds, that haue warbled sweeter notes vnrewarded. But
it is no mervaile ; for, as hemlocke fatteth quayles, and
henbane swine, which to all other is poyson, so some
mens vices haue power to aduance them, which would
subuert anie else that should seeke to clymbe by them ;
and it is inough in them, that they can pare their nayles
well, to get them a lining, when as the seauen liberall
sciences and a good legge, will scarse get a scholler bread
and cheese.
These whelpes of the first lytter of gentilitie, these ex-
halations, drawen vp to the heauen of honour from the
dunghill of abiect fortune, haue long been on horsebacke
to come riding to your diuellship ; but, I know not how,
lyke Saint George, they are alwaies mounted but neuer
moue. Here they out-face towne and countrey, and doo
^ nothing but handle factions with their betters. Their
bigge limbes yeeld the common-wealth no other seruice
but idle sweate, and their heads, like rough hewen
gloabes, are fit for nothing but to be the blockhouses for
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PIERCE PENILESSE. 23
sleepe. Raynold, the fox, may well beare yp his tayle
in the lyons denne, but when he comes abroad, he is
afraide of euerie dogge that barkes. What curre will
not bawle; and be readie to flye in a mans face, when he
is set on by his master, who, if bee bee not by to encou-
rage him, he casts his tayle betwixt his legges, and steales
away like a sheepe-byter. Ulisses was a tall man vnder
Aiax shield, but by himselfe bee would neuer aduenture
but in the night. Pride is neuer built but vppon some
pillers; and let his supporters faile him neuer so little,
you shall finde him verie humble in the dust. Wit often-
times stands in steade of a chiefe arche to vnderprop it,
in souldiers strength, in women beautie.
Drudges, that haue no extraordinarie giftes of bodie The base in-
ner of minde, filche themselues into some noble-mans djj|,d*ge^^ and
seruice, either by bribes or by flatterie, and, when they their practise
are there, they so labour it with cap and knee, and ply it
with priuie whisperinges, that they wring themselues
into his good opinion ere he be aware. Then, doo they
vaunt themselues ouer the common multitude, and are
readie to braue anie man that stands by himselfe. Their
lords authoritie is as a rebater to beare vp the peacockes
%yle of their boasting, and anie thing that is said or
done to the vnhandsoming of their ambition is straight
wrested to the name of treason. Thus doo weedes grow
vp whiles no man regards them, and the ship of fooles is
arriued in the hauen of felicitie, whilest the scoutes of
envie contemne the attempts of anye such small barkes.
But beware you that be great mens fauorites : let not
a seruile, insinuating slaue, creep betwixt your legs into
credit with your lords ; for pesants that come out of the
colde of pouertie, once cherisht in the bosome of prospe-
ritie, will straight forget that euer there was a winter of
want, or who gaue them roome to warme them. The
son of a churle cannot choose but prooue vngrateful, like
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34 FIERCE PENILE8SE.
his father. Trust not a villaine that hath been mise-
rable, and is sodainely growen happie. Vertue aseendeth
by degrees of desert vnto dignitie : golde and lust may
lead a man a nearer way to promotion^ but he that
hath neither comelinesse nor coyne to commend him.
As by carry, vndoubtedly strydes ouer time by stratagems, if of a
mcr tales, or _,,.,, , ^ ^ . • x
playing the moaie-nili hee growes to a mountame m a moment.
doutypandor. xhis is that which I vrge: there is no frendship to be
had with him that is resolute to doo or suffer any thing
rather than to endure the destenie whereto he was borne ;
for he will not spare his owne father or brother to make
^ himselfe a gentleman.
The pride of Fraunce, Italy, and Spaine, are all full of these false-
hearted Machiuillians ; but properly pride is the disease
of the Spaniard, who is bom a braggart in his mother's
womb ; for, if he be but 17 yeares olde, and hath come
to the place where a field was fought, (though halfe a
yeare before) hee then talkes like one of the giants that
made warre against heaven, and stands vpon his honor,
as much as if he were one of Augustus souldiers, of
whom he first instituted the Order of Heralds : and let a
man sooth him in this vayne of kilcowe vanitie, you maye
commaund his heart out of his belly to make you a
rasher on the coales, if you will next your heart.
The pride of The Italian is a more cunning proud fellow, and hides
tie ta lan. ^ y^ humor farre cleanlier, and, indeed, seemes to take a
pride in humilitie, and will profer a straunger more cur-
tesie than he meanes to performe. Hee hateth him
deadly that takes him at his word : as, for example, if
vpon an occasion of meeting he request you to dinner or
supper at his house, and that at the first or second in-
treatie you promise to be his guest, he will be the mor-
talst enemie you haue : but if you deny him, he will
think you have manners and good bringing vp, and will
loue you as his brother : marry, at the thirde or fourth
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PIERCE PENILESSE. S6
time you must not refuse him. Of all things he counteth
it a mightie disgrace to haue a man passe justling by
him in hast on a narrow causey, and aske him no leaue,
which hee neuer reuengeth with lesse than the stab. ^
The Frenchman (not altered from his owne nature) is
wholly compact of deceiuable courtship, and (for the
most part) loues none but himselfe and his pleasure :
yet though he be the most Grand Signeur of them all, he l.^^e ,P"^®. ^^
.„ ^ . . . . the French-
Will say^ A vostre service et cammandemenie monsteur, to man.
the meanest vassaile he meetes. He thinkes he doth a
great fauour to that gentleman, or follower of his, to
whom hee talkes sitting on his close stoole : and with
that &uour (I have heard) the princes wonted to grace
the noble men of Fraunce ; and a great man of their na-
tion comming (in time past) ouer into England, and
being here verie honorably receiued^ hee, in requital of
his admirable entertainment, on an euening going to the
privie, (as it were to honour extraordinarielie our Eng-
lish lords appointed to attend ypon him) gaue one the
candle, another his girdle, and another the paper : but
they (not acquainted with this newe kinde of gracing)
accompanying him to the privie dore, set downe the
trash, and so left liim ; which hee (considering what
inestimable kindnesse he extended to them therein more
than vsuall) took very hainouslie.
The most grosse and senselesse proud dolts (in a dijBTe^ fhe pride of '
rence from all these kindes) are the Danes, who stande ^^^ ^"®"
80 much vpon their vnweldie burlibound souldiery, that
they account of no man that hath not a battle axe at his
girdle to hough dogs with, or weares not a cock's fether
in a thrumb hat like a caualier : briefly, he is the best
foole bragart vnder heauen. For, besides, nature hath
lent him a flabberkin face, like one of the foure windes,
and cheekes that sagge like a woman's dugges ouer his
chin-bone, his apparailc is so pufl vp with bladders of
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PIERCE PENILESSE.
If you know
him not by
any of these
markSftook on
his fingers,
and you shall
bee sure to
find halfe a
do7en situer
rings, worth
three pence a
peece.
The Danes
enemies to al
learning.
No rewards
among them
for desert.
tajBTatie, and his backe (like biefe stuft with parlsey) so
drawne out with ribands and deuises, and blisterd with
light sarcenet bastings, that you would thinke him no*
thing but a swarme of butterflyes, if you saw him a farre
off. llius walkes hee vp and downe in his maiestie,
taking a yard of ground at euery step, and stampes on
the earth so terrible, as if he ment to knock vp a spirite,
when (foule drunken bezzle) if an Englishman set his
little finger to him, he falls like a hogVtrough that is
set on one end* Therefore, I am the more vehement
against them, because they are an arrogant asse-headed
people, that naturally hate learning, and all them that
loue it : yea, and for they would vtterly roote it out from
amongst them, they haue with-drawen all rewards from
the professors thereof. Not Barbary it selfe is halfe so
barbarous as they are.
First, whereas the hope of honour roaketh a souldier in
England : byshopricks, deanries, prebendaries, and other
priuate dignities animate our diuines to such excellence :
the ciuill lawyers haue their degrees and consistories of
honour by themselves, equall in place with knights and
esquiers : the common lawyers (suppose in the beginning
they are but husbandmen's sonnes) come in time to be
the chiefe fathers of the land, and many of them not the
meanest of the Privie Counsell.
There, the souldiour may fight himselfe out of his
skinne, and doe more exployits than hee hath doyts in
his purse, before from a common mercenary hee come to
bee corporall of the mould cheese, or the lieftennant gette
a captainship. None but the sonne of a corporall must
bee a corporall, nor any be captaine but the lawfull
begotten of a captaine's body. Byshops, deanes, preben-
daries, why they know no such functions : a sort of ragged
ministers they haue, of whom they account as basely as
waterbearers. If any of the noblemen refrayn three
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PIERCE PENILESSE. 97
howers in his life time from drinking, to study the lawes^
he may, perhaps, haue a little more gouemment put in
his hands than an other ; but, otherwise, burgomasters
and gentlemen beare the sway of both swords, spiritual
and temporall. It is death there for any but a husband-
man to marrie a husbandman's daughter, or a gentle-
man's childe to ioyne with any but the sonne of a gen-
tleman« Mary thys, the king may well banish, but he
cannot put a gentleman to death in any cause whatso-
soeuer, which makes them stand yppon it so proudly as
they doe. For fashion sake some will put their children
to schoole, but they set them not to it till they are four-
teene yeare old ; so that you shall see a great boy with a
beard leame his ABC, and sit weeping vnder the rod
when he is thirty yeeres olde.
I will not stand to inferre what a preiudice it is to the What it is to
thrift of a florishing state, to poyson the groth of glory, "fthout hope,
by giuing it nought but the puddle water of penury to
drinke ; to clippe the wings of a high towring faulcon,
who, whereas she wont in her feathered youthfulnesse,
to looke with amiable eye on her gray breast, and her
speckled side sayles, all sinnowed with siluer quilles, and
to driue whole armies of fearfuU foules before her to her
master^s table; now shee sits sadly on the ground,
picking of wormes, mourning the cruelty of those vngen^
tleman-like idle hands, that dismembreth the beauty of
her trayne.
You all know that man (in so much as hee is the image
of God) delighteth in honour and worship ; and al holy
writ warrants that delight, so it bee not derogatory to
any part of God's owne worship. Now, take away that
delight, a discontented idlenesse ouertakes him. For his
hyre, any handicraft man, be he carpenter joyner or
paynter, will plodingly do his day-labor; but to adde
credit and fame to his workmanship, or to winne a mas-
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PIERCE PENILESSE.
And that
sense often
times maks
them sence-
lesse.
Withered
flowers need
much water-
ing.
And will in-
dure all wea-
thers as wel
as they.
They may
well be called
counterfeits,
since the
beauty they
imitate is
counter-
fey ted.
tery to himselfe aboue all other, hee will make a further
assay in his trade than euer hitherto hee did : hee will
haue a thousand florishesy which before hee neuer thought
vpon, and in one day rid more out of hand than erst he
did in ten. So in armes, so in arts : if ty ties of fame and
glory bee proposed to forward mindes, or that any soue*
reigntie (whose sweetnes they haue not yet felt) bee set
in likely view for them to sore to, they will make a
ladder of cord of the links of their braines, but they wil
fasten their hands, as wel as their eies, on the imaginatiue
blisse, which they already enioy by admiration. Expe*
rience reproues me for a fool, for delating on so manifest
a case.
The Danes are bursten -bellied sots, that are to be
confuted with nothing but tankerds or quart pots, and
Ovid might as wel haue read his verses to the Getes that
vnderstood him not, as a man talke reason to them that
haue no eares but their mouthes, nor sense but of that
which they swallow downe their throates. God so loue
mee, as I loue the quickwitted Italians, and therefore
loue them the more, because they mortally detest this
surley swinish generation.
I neede not fetch colours from other countreyes to
paint the vgly visage of Pride, since her picture is set
foorth in so manie painted faces here at home. What
drugs, what sorceries, what oyles, what waters, what
oyntments, doo our curious dames vse to enlarge their
wythered beauties. Their lips are as lauishly red, as if
they vsed to kisse an okerman euery morning, and their
cheekes suger-candyed and cherry blusht so sweetly after
the colour of a newe Lord Mayor's posts, as if the pageant
of their wedlocke holiday were hard at the doore ; so that
if a painter were to drawe anie of their counterfets on a
table, he needes no more but wet his pencill, and dab it
on their cheekes, and he shall haue vermillion and white
enough to furnish out his work, though he leaue his tar«
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PIERCE PENILESSE. S9
:. boxe at home behinde him. Wise w£ts that sin- washing Marke these
poet that made the ballet of Blue Starch and Poaking [^pin^^^^
Stickes, for, indeed, the lawne of licentiousnesse hath phors, good
consumed all the wheate of hospitalitie. It is saide, So^saleth the
Lawrence Lucifer, that you went vp and downe London learned Poli-
1., 1 1 « , .1 ^^^^^^ Rime-
crymg then like alanteme and ceuidle man. I meruaile rusjn his first
no laundresse would giue you the washing and starching ^g^anJ^^rst
of your face for your labour, for God knowes it is as fine of hys
blacke as the Blacke Prince. starch.*' ^^
It is suspected you haue been a great tobacco-taker in The devill a
your youth, which causeth it to come so to passe ; but S^ker. *^*^
Dame Nature, your nurse, was partly in fault, else she
might haue remedied it. She should haue noynted your A medicine to
face ouer night with lac virgtrds^ which, bakeing vpon it "^ ^jjj® ^^
in bed till the morning, she might haue pild off the scale
like the skin of a custard ; and making a posset of vergis
mixt with the oyle of Tartary and camphire, and bathde
it in it a quarter of an houre, and you had been as faire
as the floure of the frying-pan. I warrant, we haue old
hacksters in this great grandmother of corporations, Ma-
dam Troynonant, that haue not backbited anie of their
neighbours with the tooth of en vie this twentie yeare, in He that wipes
the wrinckles of whose face yee may hide false dice, and u'**u ^u^^jf^**^*
play at cherry pit in the dint of their cheekes ; yet these shall forfeit
aged mothers of iniquitie will haue their deformities newe ^^J^
plaistered ouer, and weare nosegayes of yeolow haire on
their furies forheads, when age hath written, Hoe ! God,
be here ! on their bald, burnt, parchment pates. Pish,
pish ! what taike you of olde age or balde pates? Men Alias, Mother
and women that haue gone vnder the south pole, must CofnelmsMe-
lay of theyr furre night- caps in spyght of their teeth, and
become yeomen of the vineger bottle : a close periwig
hides al the sinnes of an old whore-master ; but cucidlus Translated
non facU monachum — 'tis not their newe bonnets will word for
keepe them from the old boan-ach. Ware when a man's originalem.
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80 PIERCE PENILESSE.
sitrnes are written on his ey-browes, and that there is not
a hayre bredth betwixt them and the falling sicknesse*
The times are dangerous, and this is an yron age ; or
rather no yron age, for swords and bucklers goe to pawne
apace in Long Lane, but a tinne age, for tinne and pew*
ter are more esteemed than Latine. You that be wise,
despise it, abhorre it, neglect it, for what should a man
care for golde that cannot get it.
An antiquarie is an honest man, for he had rather
The commen- scrape a peece of copper out of the durt, than a crowne
dation of An- Qy^j qJ Ploidon's standish. I know manie wise gentlemen
tequanes. , *='
Laudamus of this mustie vocation, who, out of loue with the times
nwtris utlmur "^^^^^^^^ ^^7 1^^®* ^^ ^ retayling of Alexander's stirrops,
annifl. because (in veritie) there is not such a strong peece of
stretching leather made now adaies, nor yron so well
tempred for anie mony. They will blow their nose in a
box, and say it is the spettle that Diogenes spet in ones
face, who, being inuited to dinner to his house, that was
neate and braue in all poynts as might be deuised, and
the grunting dog, somwhat troubled with the rheume (by
meanes of his long fasting, and staying for for dinner more
than wont), spet full in his host's face ; and, being askt
the reason of it, said it was the foulest place he could
spie out in all his house. Let their mistres (or some
other woman) giue them a fether of her fanne for a
fauour, and if one aske them what it is, they make an-
swere a plume of the Phenix, wherof there is but one in
the whole world. A thousand jymiams and toyes haue
they in theyr chambers, which they heape vp together,
with infinite expehce, and are made beleeue of them that
sel them, that they are rare and precious things, when
they haue gathered them vp on some dunghill, or rakte
them out of the kennell by chaunce. I knowe one sold
an olde rope with foure knots on it for foure pound, in
that he gaue it out, it was the length and bredth of
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Christ's tomb. Let a tinker take a peece of brasse worth
a halfpenie, and set strange stampes on it, and I warrant
he may make it more worth to him of some fantasticall
fbole, than all the kettels that euer he mended in his life.
This is the disease of our new-fangled humorists, that
know not what to doo with their wealth. It argueth a
yerie rustic wit, so to doate on worm-eaten elde.
Out vpon it ! how long is Pride a dressing herselfe? The com-
Enuie, awake ! for thou must appeare before Nicholao |^^"* °
MalevoIOf great muster-master of hel. Mark you this
sly mate, how smoothly he lookes ? The poets were ill
aduised that fained him to be a leane, gag-toothed bel-
dame, with hollow eyes, pale cheekes, and snakie haire i
for hee is not onely a man, but a iolly, lustie, olde gentle-
man, that will wink, and laugh, and iest drily, as if he
were the honestest of a thousand ; and, I warrant, you
shall not heare a foule word come from him in a yeare.
I will not contradict it, but the dog may worrie a sheepe
in the darke, and thrust his neck into the collar of cle-
mencie and pitie when he hath done ; as who should say,
Grod forgive him ! he was a sleep in the shambles, when
the innocent was done to death. But openly, Enuie sets
a ciuill, fatherly countenaunce vpon it, and hath not so
much as a drop of bloud in his &ce to attaint him of
murther. I thought it expedient, in this my Supplica- .
tion, to place it next vnto Pride, for it is his adopted
Sonne : and hence comes it that proud men repine at
others prosperitie, and grieue that anie should be great
but themselues. Mens cuf usque, is est quisque ; it is a
prouerbe that is as hoarie as Dutch-butter. If a man
will goe to the diuell, he may goe to the diuell : there
are a thousand iugling trickes to be vsed at Hey, passe,
come aloft I and the world hath cords enough to trusse
vp a calfe that stands in ones way. Enuie is a crocodyle
that weepes when he kills, and fights with none but he
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feedes on. This is the nature of this quicksigbted
monster : — he will endure anie paines to endamage an-
other ; wast his bodie with vndertaking exploytes that
would require ten men's strengths, rather than any should
get a penie but himselfe ; bleare his eyes to stand in his
neighbor'^s light, and, to conclude, like Atlas vnderprop
heauen, rather than anie should be in heauen that he
likde not of, or come to heauen by anie other meanes
but by him.
r You, goodman wandrer about the world,^ how do ye
spend your time, that you doo not rid vs of these pesti-
lent members ? You are vnworthie to haue an office, if
you can execute it no better. Behold another enemie of
mankind, besides thy selfe, exalted in the south, — ^Philip of
Phillip of Spaine ; who, not contented to be the god of gold and
cfeaTan^cne- chiefest commaunder of content that Europe affords, but
my to man- now he doth nothing but thirst after humane blood, when
devil. 1^ foote is on the threshold of the graue : and as a wolfe,
beeing about to deyoure a horse, doth balist his belly with
earth, that he may hang the heavier vpon him, and then
forcibly flyes in his face, neuer leaning his hold till he
hath eaten him vp ; so this woluish vnnatural usurper,
being about to deuoure all Christendome by inuasion,
doth cramme his treasures with Indian earth to make
his malice more forcible, and then flyes in the bosome of
France and Belgia; neuer withdrawing his forces (as the
wolfe his fastning) till hee hath deuoured their welfare,
and made the war-wasted carcases of both kingdomes a
pray for his tyrannie. Onely poore England giues him
bread for his cake, and holds him out at the armes end.
His Armados (that, like a high wood, ouer-shadowed the
shrubs of our lowe ships) fled from the breath of our
cannons, as vapors before the sunne, or as the elephant
flyes from the ramme, or the sea-whale from the noyse
of parched bones. The winds, enuying that the aire
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should be dimmed with such a chaos of woodden clowdes^'
raised yp high bulwarkes of bellowing waues, where
Death shot at their disorderd nauie; and the rockes
with their ouer-hanging jawes, eate vp all the fragments
of oake that they left. So perisht our foes, so the
heauens did fight for vs — Prceterit HippameneSy resonant
speciacuda platisu.
I doo not doubt (Doctor Diuell) but you were prefeut
in this action, or passion, rather, and helpt to bore holes
in ships to make them sink faster ; andrence out galley-
foysts with salt water, that stanke like fustie barrells
with their masters' feare. It will bee a good while ere
you doo as much for the king, as you did for his subjects.
I would haue ye perswade an armie of goutie usurers to
goe to sea yppon a boon voyage : trye if you can tempt
Enuie to embark himselfe in the maladuenture, and
leaue troubling the streame, that poets and good fellowes
may drinke, and souldiers sing placebo, that haue mur-
mured so long at the waters of strife.
But that will neuer be ; for as long as Pride, Ryot,
and Whoredome are the companions of yong courtiers,
they will alwayes be hungrie, and readie to bite at anie
dogge that hath a boane giuen him beside themselues.
Jesu ! what secret grudge and rancour raignes amongst
them, one beeing readie to despaire of himselfe, if hee
see the prince but giue his fellow a faire look, or to dye
for greefe if hee bee put downe in brauerye neuer so
little. Yet this custome haue our false harts fetcht from
other countries, that they wil sweare and protest loue
where they hate deadly, and smile on him most kindly^
whose subuersion in soule they haue vowed. Fraus sub*
linii regnai in aula — 'Tis rare to find a true friend in
kings' pallaces : eyther thou must be so miserable that
thou fall into the hands of scornfuU pittie, or thou canst
not escape the stinge of enuy. In one thought, assem-
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ble the fiEtinous men of all ages, and tell mee which of
them all sat in the sunneshine of his soueraigne's grace,
or wext great of lowe beginnings, but hee was spite-
blasted, heau'd at, and ill spoken of, and that of those
that bare them most countenance. But were Enuy
nought but words, it might seeme to be onely women's
Murder, the sinne ; but it hath a lewde mate hanging on his sleeue,
wjropanion of ^^^^ Murther, a steme feUow, that (like a Spanyard in
fight) aymeth all at the heart : hee hath more shapes
than Proteus, and will shift himselfe, vppon any occa-
sion of reuengement, into a man's dish, his drinke, his
apparell, his rings, his stirhops, his nosgay.
Italic the O Italic, the academic of man-slaughter, the sporting
firmurd"ero^ V^^^ ^^ murtlier, the apothecary -shop of poyson for all
inventions. nations! how many kind of weapons hast thou inuented
for malice ! Suppose I loue a man's wife, whose hus-
band yet Hues, and cannot enioy her for his iealous ouer-
looking, phisicke, or, rather, the art of murther, (as it
may be vsed) will lend one a medicine, which shall
make him away in nature of that disease hee is most
subiect too, whether in the space of a yeere, a moneth,
halfe a yeere, or what tract of time you will, more or
lesse.
In Rome the papall chayre is washt, euery fine yeere
at the furthest, with this oyle of aconitum. I pray God,
the Kinge of Spayne feasted not our holy father Sextus,
that was last, with such conserve of henbane ; for it was
credibly reported hee loued him not, and thys, that is
nowe, is a god made with his owne hands ; as it may ap-
peare by the pasquill that was set vp of him, in a man-
Tlie pasquill ner of a note, presently after his election — SoL Re. Me. Fa.
made'^ujon *^^* ^^ ^ ^V' Solus Rex Me Facit, onely the King of
this last Pope. Spayne made me pope. I am no chronicler from our
owne countrey, but if probible suspition might be heard
vpon his oath, I thinke some men's soules would be
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PIERCE PENILESSE. 35
canonized for martyrs^ that on earth did sway it as mo- As Cardinal
--hies. Si?;.'"'
Is it your wil and pleasure (noble Lants-graue of
Lymbo) to let us haue lesse carousing to your health in
poyson^ fewer vnder-hand conspyrings, or open quarrells
executed onelyin wordes^as they are in the worldenowe
a dayes ; as if men will needes carouse, conspire, and
quarrel], that they may make RuiEans' Hall of hell, and
there bandy balls of brimstone at on^ an othecs head,
and not trouble our peacable Paradize with their priuate
hurliburlies about strumpets, where no weapon (as in
Adam's Paradize) shold be named, but onely the angell
of Prouidence stand with a fiery sword at the gate to
keepe out our enemies.
A perturbation of minde (like vnto Enuy) is Wrath, The com-
which looketh farre lower than the former j for, whereas ^^i^^
Enuy cannot be said to be but in respect of our supe- branch of
riours. Wrath respecteth no degrees nor persons, but is ^*
equally armed agaynst all that offend him. A hare-
brained little dwarfe it is, with a swarth visage, that
hatli his hart at his tonffue's end, if he be contraride, and Little men for
•111 1.1 1 -r/.! the most part
will be sure to doe no nght, nor take no wrong. If hee are most
bee a judge or a justice (as sometimes the lyon comes to *"o«"y-
giue sentence against the lamb), then he sweares by no-
thing but by Saint Tybome, and makes Newgate a noune Newgate, a
substantiue, whereto all his other words are but adiec- for al prisons,
tiues. Liffhtly, hee is an olde man, (for those yeares are ^* ^^^^ ^* *
\ ^ . , \ -, common name
most wayward and teatish) yet be he neuer so olde or for a man or a
so froward, since Auarice likewise is a fellow vice of ^*^™*"-
those fraile yeares, we must set one extreame to striue
with another, and alay the anger of oppression by
the sweet incense of a newe purse of angels ; or the
doting planet may haue such predominance in these
wicked elders of Israel, that, if you send your wife, or
some other female, to plead for you, she may get your
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36 PIERCE PENILESSK.
pardon vppon promise of better acquaintance. But
whist! these are the workes of darknesse, and may not
be talkt of in the day time. Furie is a heate, or fire, and
must bee quencht with maides water.
A tale of a Amongst other cholericke wise justices he was one
that, hauing a play presented before him and his toune-
ship by Tarlton and the rest of his fellowes, her Maiesties
seruants, and they were nowentring into their first mer-
riment (as they c^ it), the people began exceedingly to
laugh, when Tarlton first peept out his head. Whereat
the justice, not a little moued, and seeing with his beckes
and nods, hee could not make them cease, he went with
his staffe, and beat them round about vnmercifully on
the bare pates, in that they, being but farmers and
poore countrey hyndes, would presume to laugh at the
Queenes men, and make no more account of her cloath
in his presence.
The causes conducting vnto Wrath are as diuers as
the actions of a man's life. Some will take on like a mad
man if they see a pigge come to the table. Sotericus,
the surgeon, was cholericke at sight of sturgeon. The
The nature of Irishman will draw his dagger, and bee readie to kill and
slay, if one break wind in his companie — and so some of
our English men, that be souldiers, if one giue them the
lye. But these are light matters, whereof Pierce com-
plaineth not.
Be aduertised, Master Osfcetidum^ bedle of the blacke-
smithes, that lawyers cannot deuise which way in the
world to begge, they are so troubled with brabblements
and sutes euerie tearme, of yeomen and gentlemen that
fall out for nothing. If John a Nokes his henne doo but
leap into Elizabeth de Grappes close, shee will neuer
leaue hunting her husband till he bring it to a tdsiprha.
One while, the parson sueth the parishioner for bring-
ing home his tythes; another while, the parishioner
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PIERCE PENILESSE. 37
sueth the parson for not taking away his tythes in.
time.
I beard a tale of a butcher^ who^ driuing two calues a merry tale
over a common that were coupled together by the neckes ^ * . *^"t<5^«''
^ ° '' and hw calves.
with an oken wyth, in the way where they should
passe^ there lay a poore, leane mare, with agalde backe ;
to whome they comming (as chance fell out), one of one
side, and the other of the other, smelling on her, (as their
manner is) the midst of the wyth that was betwixt their
neckes rubd her, and grated her on the sore backe, that
shee started and rose vp, and hung them both on her backe
as a beame ; which, being but a rough plaister to her raw
vlcer, she ran away with them (as she were frantick) into
the fens, where the butcher could not follow them, and
drownde both her self and them in a quagmyre. Now,
the owner of the mare is in law with the butcher for the
losse of his mare, and the butcher enterchangeably en-
dites him for his calues. I pray ye, Timothie Tempter,
be an arbitrator betwixt them, and couple them both by
the neckes, (as the calues were) and carrie them to hel
on your backe, and then, I hope, they will be quiet.
The chiefe spur vnto Wrath is drunkennes, which, as
the touch of an ashen bough causeth a gidinesse in the
viper's head, and the batte, lighty strooke with the leafe
of a tree, loseth his remembrance, so they, being but
lightly sprinckled with the iuyce of the hop, become
sencelesse, and haue their reason strooken blind,' as soon
as euer the cup scaleth the fortresse of their nose. Then
run their words at random, like a dog that runnes after
his master, and are vppe with this man and that man, and
generally invey against all men, but those that keepe a
wette comer for a friend, and will not thinke scorne to
drinke with a good fellowe and a souldiour ; and so long
doe they practise this traine on the ale- bench, that, when
they are sober, they cannot leaue it. There be them that
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gette their lyuing all the yeere long by nothing but
rayling.
A tale of one Not farre from Chester, I knewe an odde, foule-
a foule ^^ ^ mouthde knaue, called Charles the Fryer, that had a face
mouthde g© parboyled with mens spitting on it, and a backe so
often knighted in Bridewell, that it was impossible for
any shame or punishment to terrifie him from ill speak-
ing. Noblemen hee would liken to more vgly things
than himselfe ; some to after my most hearty commen-
dations, with a dash ouer the head ; others to guilded
• chines of beefe, or a shooemaker sweating when hee
pulles on a shooe ; another to an olde verse in Cato,
Ad consilium ne accesseris, antequam voceris ; an other
to a Spanish codpisse ; an other that his face was not
yet finisht, with such like innumerable absurd allu-
sions : yea^ what was he in the court but he had a com-
parison instead of a capcase to put him in. Upon a
time, being challengde at his owne weapon in a priuate
chamber, by a great personage, (rayling, I meane) he so
farre outstript him in villainous words, and ouer-bandied
him in bitter terms, that the name of sport could not
persuade him patience, or containe his furie in anie de-
grees of iest, but needes hee must wreake himselfe vpon
him : neither would a common reuenge suffice him, his
displeasure was so infinite, (and, it maybe, common re-
uenges he tooke before, as farre as the whipcord would
stretch vpon like prouokements) wherefore he caused
his men to take him, and bricke him vp in a narrow
chimney, that was neque mofor neque minor corpore lO'
cato ; where he fed him for fifleene dayes with bread and
water through a hole, letting him sleepe standing if he
would, for lye or sit he could not, and then he let him
out to see if he could leame to rule his tongue anie
better.
It is a disparagement to those that haue anie true
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PIERCE PENILESSE. 39
spark of gentilitie, to be noted of the whole world so to
delight in detracting, that they should keepe a venomous
toothde curre, and feede him with the crums that fall
from his table, to doe nothing but bite euery one by the
shins that passe by. If they will needes be merrie, let
them haue a foole, and not a knaue, to disport them, and
seeke some other to bestow their almes on, than such an
impudent begger.
As there be them that rayle at ^ men, so there be
them that rayle at all artes, as Cornelius Agrippa, De
Vanitale Scientiartjtm, and a treatise that I haue seenein
dispraise of learning ; where he saith, it is the corrupter
of tlie simple, the schoolemaster of sinne, the storehouse
of treacherie, the reuiuei^pf vices, and mother of cowardize ;
alleadging manie examples how there was neuer man
egregiouslie euill but hee was a schoUer ; that, when the
vse of letters was first inuented, the Golden World
ceased, facinttsque invasit mortaks ; how studie doth
effeminate a man, dimme his sight, weaken his braine,
and engender a thousand diseases. Small learning
would serue to confute so manifest a scandale; and I
imagine all men^ like my selfe, so vnmoueablie resolued
of the excellence thereof, that I will not, by the vnder-
propping of confutation, seeme to giue the idle-witted
aduersarie so much encouragement, as he should surmize
his superficiall arguments had shaken the foundation of
it, 'gainst which he could neuer haue lifted his penne if
herself had not helpt him to hurt herselfe.
With the enemies of poetry, I care not if I haue a An invective
bout ; and those are they that tearme our best writers but ^n^J^feg ^f^
babling ballat-makers, holding them fantasticall fooles Poetry.
that haue wit, but cannot tell how to vse it. I, my
selfe, haue beene so censured among some dull-headed
diuines, who deeme it no more cunning to write an ex-
quisit poem, than to preach pure Calvin, or distill tlie
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Absit arro- iuice of a commentary into a quarter sermon. Proue it
fhls speech when you will, you slow spirited Saturnists, that haue
should con- nothing but the pilfries of your penne to poUish an ex-
vines butsuch hortation withall ; no eloquence but tautologies to tye the
dunces as e^res of your auditory vnto you ; no inuention but heere
abridge me» ^ '^ .
of their law- is to be noted, '• I stole this note out of Beza or Marlorat ;"
and care^ not °^ ^^^ ^ moue, no passion to vrge,but onely an ordinary
how unpre- forme of preaching;, blowen vp by vse of often hearins:
pared they , , f f , „ ^ / ,
speake to ^^^ speaking; and ]|ou shall nnde there goes more ex-
tlieiraudi- quisite paynes and purity of wit tp the writing of one
Such sermons ^^^^ *'^^® poem as Rosamond, than to a hundred of your
I meane as dunsticall sermons.
sectaries
preach in Should we (as you) borrow all out of others, and
othe^r^cmfv^^^ gather nothing of our selues, our names would be baffuld
tides, when on euerie booke-sellers stall, and not a chandler's mus-
from the^cob- ^^i^d-pot but would wipe his mouth with our wast paper.
ler's stall to New herrings, new ! we must cry, euery time we make
their pulpits. % ^^ ^ , n i i • j -i
our selues publique, or else we shall be chnstend with a
hundred newe tytles of idiotisme. Nor is poetry an art
whereof there is no vse in a man^s whole life, but to de-
scribe discontented thouglits and youthfull desires, for
/ there is no study but it dooth illustrate and beautifie.
' How admirably shine those diuines aboue the common me-
diocritie^ that haue tasted the sweet springs of Pernassus !
The u^e of Siluer-tongu'd Smith, whose well tun'd stile hath made
1 oetry. ^j^^ death the generall teares of the Muses, queintlye
Smitlii. couldst thou deuise heauenly ditties to Apolloes lute, and
teach stately verse to trip it as smoothly as if Ouid and
thou had but one soule. Hence along did it proceede, that
that thou wert such a plausible pulpit man, before thou
entredst into the wonderfull wayes of theologie, thou re-
finedst, preparedst, and purifiedst thy wings with sweete
poetrie. If a simple man's censure may be admitted to
speake in such an open theater of opinions, I neuer saw
abundant reading better mixt with delight, or sentences
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PIERCE PENILESSE. 41
which no man can challenge of prophane affectation^
sounding more melodious to the eare, or piercing more
deepe to the heart.
To them that demaund, what fruites the poets of our The fruits of
time bring forth, or wherein they are able to approue ^^^^y-
themselues necessarie to the state? thus I answere : first
and formost, they haue cleansed our language from bar*
barisme, and made the vulgar sort, here in London^
(which is the fountaine whose riuers flowe round about
England) to aspire to a richer puritie of speach than is
communicated with the comminaltie of anie nation vnder
hoauen. The vertuous by their praises they encourage
to be more vertuous ; to vicious men they are as infer-
nall hags, to haunt their ghosts with eternall infamie
after death. The soldiour, in hope to haue his high
deedes celebrated by their pens, despiseth a whole armie
of perills, and acteth wonders exceeding all humane con-
iecture. Those that care neither for God nor the diuell,
by their quills are kept in awe. Multifamam, (saith one) Plia. lib. 3.
pauci conscientiam vereniur.
Let God see what he wil, they would be loath to haue
the shame of the world. What age wil not prayse im- .
mortal Sir Philip Sidney, whom noble Salustius (that /-»
thrice singular French poet) hath famoused, together
with Sir Nicholas Bacon, lord keeper, and merry Sir
Thomas Moore, for the chiefe pillers of our English
speech. Not so much but Chaucer's host, Baly in
Southwarke, and his wife of Bath, he keepes such a stirre
with in his Canterbury tales, shalbe talkt of whilst the
Bath is vsde, or there be euer a badde house in South-
wark.
Gentles, it is not your lay chronigraphers that write The dispraise
of nothing but of Mayors and Sheriefs, and the deare ^ri^'hew^"*"
yeere, and the great frost, that can endowe your names
wyth neuer dated glory ; for they want the wings of
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42 PIERCE PENILESSE.
choyse words to flye to heauen, which wee haue. They
cannot sweeten a discourse, or wrest admiration from men
reading, as we can, reporting the meanest accident.
Poetry is the hunny of all flowers, the quintessence of
all scyences, the marrowe of witte, and the very phrase
of angels. How much better is it, then^ to haue an
eligant lawyer to plead ones cause, than a stutting towns-
man, that loseth himselfe in his tale, and dooth nothing
but make legs ; so much is it better for a nobleman, or
gentleman, to haue his honour's story related, and his
deedes emblazond, by a poet than a cittizen.
Alas, poor latynlesse authors ! they are so simple, they
knowe not what they doe : they no sooner spy a new
ballad, and his name to it that compilde it, but they put
him in for one of the learned men of our time. I mar*
uell how the masterlesse men, that sette vp their bills in
Paules for seruices, and such as paste vp their papers on
euery post, for arithmetique and writing-schooles, scape
eternitie amongst them : I beleeue both they and the
knight marshaPs men, that nayle vp mandates at the
court gate, for annoying the pallace with filth or making
water, if they set their names to the writing, will
shortly make vp the number of the learned men of our
time, and be as famous as the rest. For my part, I do
challenge no praise of learning to my selfe, yet haue I
worne a gowne in the university, and so hath caret
iempus turn habet moribus ; but this I dare presume,
that, if any Mecaenas bihde mee to him by his bounty,
or extend some round liberalitie to mee worth the speak-
ing of, I will doe him as much honour as any poet of my
beardlesse yeares shall in England. Not that I am so
confident what I can doe, but that I attribute so much to
my thankfuU mind aboue others, which I am perswaded
would enable me to worke miracles.
On the contrary side, if I bee euill intreated, or sent
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away with a flea in mine eare^ let him looke that I will
rayle on him soundly; not for an houre or a day, whiles
the injury is fresh in my memory, but in some elaborate,
poUished poem, which I will leaue to the world when I
am dead, to be a liuing image to all ages of his beggerly
parsimony and ignoble illiberalitie : and let him not
(what soeuer he be) measure the weight of my words by
this booke, where I write quicquid in buccam venerit, as
fast as my hand ccm trot, but I haue tearmes (if I be
vext) laid in steepe in aqua fortis and gunpowder, that
shall rattle through the skyes, and make an earthquake
in a pesant's eaies. Put case (since I am not yet out of I would fell
the theame of Wrath) that some tyred jade belonging to ^^.^^ ,^^*^
the presse, whome I neuer wronged in my life, hath but I am
named me expressly in print (as I will not doo him), and ^ould make
accused me of want of learning:, vpbraiding me for re- ^> ? booke sell
in hys latter
uiuing, in an epistle of mine, the reuerend memorie of dayes^ which
Sir Thomas Moore, Sir John Cheeke, Doctor Watson, {^ J^j^^d^^'J
Doctor Haddon, Doctor Carre, Master Ascharo, as if bin a ^reat
they were no meate but for his masterships mouth, or priater.
none but some such, as the sonne of a ropemaker^ were
worthie to mention them. To shewe how I can rayle,
thus would I begin to rayle on him : — ^Thou that hadst
thy hood turned ouer thy eares, when thou wert a bache-
lor, for abusing of Aristotle, and setting him vpon the
schoole gates^ painted with asses eares on his head, is it
anie discredit for me, thou great baboune, thou pigmee
braggart, thou pampheter of nothing hut paansy to bee chandler's
censured by thee, that hast scorned the prince of philo* 8bop,oratthe
sophers : thou, that in thy dialogues soldst hunnie for a stoll, if you
balfepenie, and the choysest writers extant for cues a ^^^ ^pe^^
peece ; that cam'st to the logick schooles when thou wert wrapt vp in
a fresh- man, and writst phrases; off with thy gowne, of such a''^^^
and vntrusse, for I meane to lash thee mightily. Thou pampWet as
° "^ incerti autho-
hast a brother, hast thou not^ student in almanackes ? ris, lo P«eau.
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Go too ! lie stand to it, he fathered one of thy bastards,
(a booke I meane) which, being of thy begetting, was
set forth vnder his name.
Gentlemen, I am sure you haue heard of a ridiculous
asse, tliat manie yeares since sold lyes by the great, &
wrote an absurd astrologicall discourse of the terrible con-
iunction of Satume and Jupiter, wherein (as if hee had
latelie cast the heauen's water, or been at the anatomizing
of the skies intrayles in Surgeons^ Hall) hee prophecieth of
such Strang wonders to ensue from starres distemperature,
& the vniuersal adultry of planets, as none but he, that is
bawd to those celestiall bodies, could euer descry. What
expectation there was of it both in towne and country,
the amazement of those times may testifie; and the rather,
because he pawned his credit vpon it in these expresse
Which at tearmes : " If these things fall not out in euerie poynt as
^^T^LlTf^ « I haue wrote, let mee for euer hereafter loose the credit
was wortb a '
dozen of bal- of my astronomie." Wei, so it happend, that he happend
for'in be not ^^^ to be a man of his word : his astronomie broke his
deceiv'd, his Jay with his creditors, and Satume and Jupiter proued
rope-maker, honester men than all the worlde tooke them for. Where-
vpon the poore prognosticator was readie to runne him-
selfe through with his Jacobus staffe, & cast himselfe
headlong from the top of a globe, (as a mountaine) and
breake his necke. The whole uniuersitie hyst at him,
Tarlton at the Theater made iests of him, and Elderton
consumed his ale-crammed nose to nothing in bear-
bayting him with whole bundells of ballets. Would you,
in likely reason, gesse it were possible for anie shame-
swoln toad to haue the spet-proofe face to outlive this
disgrace ? It is, deare brethren, VivU, imo, vivU ; and,
which is more, he is a vicar.
Poor slaue ! I pitie thee that thou hadst no more grace
but to come in my way. Why could not you haue sate
quyet at home, and writ catechismes, but you must be
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FIERCE PENILESSE. 45
comparing me to Martin, atfd exclayme against me for
reckning vp the high schollers of worthie memorie?
Jupiter ingeniis pnebet ma numina vatum^ saith Ouid ;
segue ceJebrari qttoUbet ore sinit. Which, if it be so, I hope
I am aliquiSy & those men, quos honoris causa nominavif
are not greater than gods. Methinks, I see thee stand
quiuering and quaking, and euen now Uft vp thy hands
to heauen, as thanking God my choler is somewhat
asswaged ; but thou art deceiued, for howeuer I let fall
my stile a little^ to talk in reason with thee that hast none,
I doo not meane to let thee scape so.
Thou hast wronged one for my sake, (whom for the
name I must loue) T. N., the Master Butler of Pem-
broke Hall, a ferre better schoUer than thy selfe, (in my
judgement) and one that sheweth more discretion and
gouemment in setting vp a size of bread, than thou in
all thy whole booke. Why man, thinke no scorne of
him, for he hath helde thee vp a hundred times, whiles
the Deane hath giuen thee correction, and thou hast capd
and kneed him (when thou wert hungry} for a chipping.
But thats nothing, for, hadstthou neuer beene beholding
to him, nor holden vp by him, he hath a beard that is a
better gentleman than all thy whole body, and a graue
countenance, like Cato, able to make thee run out of thy
wits for feare, if he looke sternly vpon thee. I haue
reade ouer thy sheepish discourse of the Lambe of God
and his Enemies, and entreated my patience to bee good
to thee whilst I read it; but for all that I could doe
with myselfe, (as I am sure I may doe as much as an
other man) I could not refrayne, but bequeath it to the
priuie, leafe by leafe as I read it, it was so vgly, dorbel-
licall, and lamish. Monstrous, monstrous, and palpable ;
not to be spoken of in a christian congregation ! thou
hast skumed ouer the schoole men, and of the froth of
theyr folly made a dish of diuinitie brewesse, which the
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dogges will not eate. If the printer haue any great
dealings with thee, he were best get a priuiledge be*
times, eul imprimendum solum, forbidding all other to
sell waste paper but himselfe, or else he will be in a wo-
His owne full taking. The Lambe of God make thee a wiser bell-
weather than thou art, for else, I doubt thou wilt be
driuen to leaue all, and fall to thy father's occupation,
which is, to goe and make a rope to hange thy selfe.
Neque enim lex cBquior ulla est, guam necis artifices
arteperire sua : and so I leaue thee till a better oppor-
tunitie, to be tormented world without end of our poets
and writers about London, whom thou hast called pi-
perly make-playes and make-bates: not doubting but
he also whom thou tearmest the vayn Pap-hatchet, will
haue a flurt at thee one day, all ioyntly driuing thee to
this issue, that thou shalt bee constrained to goe to the
chiefe beame of thy benefice, and there, beginning a la-
mentable speech with cur scripsi, cur perii, ende with
pravumprava decent, juvat inconcessa voluptas, and with
a trice trusse vp thy life in the string of thy sancebell.
So be it, pray penne, inke, and paper, on their knees,
that they may not be troubled with thee any more.
Redeo ad vos, met auditores. Haue I not a indifferent
pretty veine in spurgalling an asse P if you knew how
extemporall it were at this instant, and with what haste
it is writ, you would say so. But I would not haue you
thinke, that all this that is set downe heere is in good
earnest, for then you goe by S. Gyles the wrong way to
Westminster ; but onely to shew how for a neede I could
rayle, if I were throughly fyredv So hoe I Honiger Ham-
mon : where are you all this while, I cannot bee ac-
quainted with you ? Tell me, what doe you thinke of
the case ? am I subject to the sinpe of wrath I write
against, or no, in whetting my penne on this block ? I
know you would faine haue it so, but it shal not choose
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FIERCE FENILESSE. 4/
but be otherwise for this once. Come on : let vs turne
ouer a new leafe, and heare what Gluttony can say for her
selfe ; for Wrath hath spet his poyson^ and full platters
doe well after extreame purging.
The Romayne emperours that succeeded Augustus Thecom*
were exceedingly giuen to this horrible vice, whereof giuttooie.
some of them would feede on nothing but the tongues of
phesants and nightingales 3 other would spend as much
at one banquet, as a king's reuenues came to in a
yeare: whose excesse I would decypher at large, but
that a new Laureate hath sau'd me the labor ; who, for
a man that standes vpon paines and not wit, hath per-
formM as much, as anie storie dresser may doe, that sets
a new English nap on an olde Latine apothegs. It is '^
enough for me to licke dishes here at home, though I
feed not mine eyes at anie of the Romane feasts. Much
good doo it you. Master Dives, here in London : for you
are he my pen meanes to dine withalL Miserere mei^
what a fat churle it is ! Why, he hath a belly as big as
the round church in Cambridge, a face as huge as the
whole bodie of a base viall, and legs that, if they were
hollow, a man might keepe a mill' in either of them.
Experto crede Roberto, there is no mast like a mer*
chaunt's table. Bondfide^ it is a great misture, that we
have not men swine as well as beasts, for then we should
haue porke that hath no more bones than a pudding,
and a side of bacon that you might lay vnder your head
in stead of a bolster.
It is not for nothing that other countreyes, whome wee
vpbrayd with drunkennesse, call vs bursten-bellyed glut-
tons ; for we make our greedie paunches powdring tubs of
beefe, and eate more meate at one meale, than the Spa-
niard or Italian in a month. Good thriftie men, they
drawe out a dinner with sallets, like a Swart-rutter's sute,
and make Madona Nature their best caterer. We must
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48 PIERCE PENILESSE.
Nature in haue our tables furnisht like poultrers stalls, or as though
buf pkyne ^® ^^^^ ^ victuall Noah's arke againe, (wherein there
dame, but in was all sortp of liuinff creatures that euer were) or els the
opayue and . ^ ,
Italyrbecause good-wife wil not open her mouth to bid one welcome.
more use of ^ stranger that should come to one of our magnificoes
her than we) houses, when dinner were set on the board, and he not
a lady. J^^ Set, would thinke the goodman of the house were a
haberdasher of wylde-fowle, or a merchant venturer of
daintie meate, that sells commodities of good cheere by
the great, and hath factors in Arabia, Turkey, Egipt,
and Barbarie, to prouide him of straunge byrdes, China
mustard, and odde pattemes to make custards by.
Lord ! what a coyle haue we, this course and that
course, remouing this dish higher, setting another lower,
and taking away the third. A generall might in lesse
space remoue his camp, than they stand disposing of
their gluttonie. And whereto tends all this gurmandise,
but to giue sleepe grosse humors to feede on, to corrupt
the braine, and make it vnapt and vnweldie for anie
thing ?
r The Romane Censors, if they lighted vppon a fat cor-
pulent man, they straight tooke away his horse, and con-
strayned him to goe a foote, positiuely concluding his
carkasse was so puft up with gluttonie or idlenes. If.
wee had such horse-takers amongst vs, and that surfet-
swolne churles, who now ride on their foot-cloathes,
might bee constrayned to carrie their flesh budgets from
place to place on foote, the price of veluet and cloath
would fall with their bellies, and the Gentle Craft {alias
the red herrings kinsmen) get more, and drinke lesse.
Plenus venter nil agii Ubenter^ et plwres gula occidit
guam gladius. It is as desperate a peece of seruice to
sleep vpon a full stomacke, as it is to seme in face of the
bullet : a man is but his breath, and that may as wel be
stopt by putting too much in his mouth at once, as
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running on the mouth of the cannon. That is verified of
vsy which Horace writes of an outragious cater in his
time. Quicquid qucesierat ventri donabat avarOy whatso-
euer he could rap or rend, he confiscated to his couetous
gut. Nay, we are such flesh -eating Saracens, that chast
fish may not content us, but we delight in the murder of
innocent mutton, in the vnpluming of pulterie, and quar-
tering of calues and oxen. It is horrible and detesUible,
no Godly fishmonger that can digest it. Report (which
our modemers clepe flundring fame) puts mee in me-
morie of a notable jest I heard long agoe of Doctor Arare wittie
TTT • 1 .1 1 1 n n y nil *®®^ ^^ DoCtOf
Watson, vene conducible to the reproofe of these fleshly- Watson's.
minded Belials, He being at supper, on a fasting or Or rather
fish night at least, with a great number of his friends cause alliheyr
and acquaintance, there chanced to be in the companie "*"^ ^jV «"
an outlandish doctor, who, when all other fell to such
victuals (agreeing to the time) as were before them, he
Querslipt them ; and there being one ioynt of flesh on
the table for such as had meate stomackes, fell freshly to
it. After that hunger (halfe conquered) had restored
him to the vse of his speach, for his excuse he said to his
friend that brought him thether, fTofeci\ dominey ego
mm malissimus jriscaior, meaning by piscator^ a fish-
man ; (which is a libertie, as also malissimus^ that out-
landish men in their familiar talke doo challenge, at
least vse, aboue vs). At tu es bonissimus camifeXj quoth
Doctor Watson, retorting very merrily his owne licentious
figures vpon him. So of vs it may be said, we are malis^
simi piscatores^ but bonissimi cam\fices. I would Eng-
lish the jest, for the edification of the temporalitie, but
that it is not so good in English as in Latine : and
though it were as good, it would not conuert clubs and
clouted shoone from the flesli-pots of Egipt^ to the
provant of the Low-countreyes ; they had rather (with
the seruing.man) put vp a supplication to the Parlia-
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ment House, that they might haue a yard of pudding for
a penie, than desire (with the baker) there might bee
three ounces of bread sold for a halfe penie.
The modera- Alphonsus, King Philip's confessor, that came ouer
Alpbonso^ ^ith him to England, was such a moderate man in his
King Phillip's jyet that he would feede but once a day, and at that
confessor. / ' /'
time hee would feed so slenderly and sparingly, as scarse
serued to keep life and soule together. One night, impor-
tunately inuited to a solempne banquet, for fashion sake
he sate downe among the rest, but by no entreatie could
be drawne to eate any thing : at length, frute being set
on the boord, he reacht an apple out of the dish, and
put it in his pocket, which one marking that sat right
ouer against him, askt him, domine, cur es solicUus m crcu*
tinumf Sir, why are you careful for the morrowe?
Whereto he answered most soberly, Imo hoc fado^ nu
amicCy tit ne rim aoUdiua in crastinum. No ; I doo it,
my friend, that I may not be careful! for the morrow : as
though his appetite were a whole day contented with so
little as an apple, and that it were enough to pay the
morrowes tribute to nature.
The strange Eare, and worthie to be registred to all posterities, is
alteration of ^. _, . ,«• , , . i t». . - ■»>
the Countie ^^ Countie Molynes (sometime the Pnnce of Parmaes
Moline's, the companion) altred course of life ; who, being a roan that
ipa's compa- liued in as great pompe and delicacie as was possible for a
"*^"' man to doo, and one that wanted nothing but a kingdome
that his hart could desire, upon a day entring into a
deepe melancholy by himselfe, he fell into a discoursiue
consideration what this world was, how vain and transi-
torie the pleasures thereof, and how manie times he had
offended God by surfeiting, gluttonie, drunkennes, pride,
whoredome, and such like, and how hard it was for him,
that liuM in that prosperitie that he did, not to bee en-
tangled with those pleasures : whereupon he presently
resolu'd, twixt God and his owne conscience, to forsake
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it and all his allurements, and betake him to the seuerest
forme of life vsed in their State. And with that cald all
his souldiers and acquaintance together, and, making
knowen his intent vnto them, he distributed his lyuing
and possessions (which were infinite) amongst the poorest
of them ; and hauing not left himselfe the worth of one
farthing vnder heauen, betooke him to the most beggerlie
new erected order of the Frier Capuchines. Their insti-
tution is, that they shall possesse nothing whatsoeuer of
their owne more than the cloathes on their backes, con-
tinually to goe barefoote, weare haire shirts, and lye
ypon the hard boords, winter and summer time : they
must haue no meat, nor ask any but what is giuen them
voluntarily, nor must they lay vp any from meale to
meale, but giue it to the poore, or els it is a great pe-
naltie. In this seuere humilitie lyves this deuout Countie,
and hath done this foure yeare, submitting himselfe to al
the base drudgerie of the house, as fetching water,
making cleane the rest of their chambers, insomuch as he
is the junior of the order. O ! what a notable rebuke
were his honourable lowlines to succeeding pride, if this
prostrate spirit of his were not the seruaunt of supersti-
tion, or bee misspent not his good workes on a wrong
fiiith.
Let but our English belly-gods punish their pursie
bodies with this strict penaunce, and professe the Capu-
chinisme but one month, and He be their pledge, they
shall not grow so like dry fats as they doo. O ! it will
make them jolly long-winded, to trot vp and downe the
dortor staires, and the water-tankard will keepe vnder
the insurrection of their shoulders, the haire shirt will
chase whoredome out of their boanes, and the hard
lodging on the boards take their flesh downe a button
hole lower.
But if they might be induced to distribute all their
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PIERCE PENILESSE.
goods amongst the poore, it were to be hoped Saint Peter
would let them dwell in the suburbes of heauen; whereas^
otherwise, they must keepe aloofe at Pancredge, and not
come neere the liberties by fine leagues and aboue. It
is your doing (Diotrephes Diuell) that these stall-fed
ccMinorants to damnation must bung vp all the wealth
of the land in their snaphaunce bags, and poore schollers
and souldiers wander in backe lanes, and the out-shiftes
of the citie, with neuer a rag to their backes ; but our
trust is that, by some intemperance or other, you will
tourne vp their heeles, one of these yeares, together, and
prouide them of such ynthrifts to their heyres, as shall
spend in one weeke amongst good fellowes what they
got by extortion and oppression all their life-time.
From gluttonie in meates, let me discend to super-
fiuitie in drink, a sinne that, euer since we haue mixt
our selues with the Low Countries, is counted honourable,
but before we knew their lingring warres, was held in
the highest degree of hatred that might be. Then, if
wee had seene a man goe wa.llowing in the streetes, or
line sleeping: vnder the boord, wee would haue spet at
super nagu- . . .
lum, a devise him as a toade, and cald him foule, drunken swine, and
new'^come out warned all our friends out of his company : now, he is no
ofFraunce; body that cannot drinke mper nagulum. carouse the
which is after -r *r ? ^
a man hath hunters' hoope, quafFe vp$ey freze crosse, with leapes
tunide up the gjoues, mumpes, frolickes, and a thousand such domi-
cup, todropit nering inuentions. He is reputed a pesaunt and a boore
and ^make ^a ^^^^ ^^^^ °°* ^^^ ^^^ licour profoundly ; and you shall
pearl with heare a caualier of the first feather, a princockes that
which, if it ^^ ^^^ ^ P^^ ^® other day in the court, and now is all
slide, and he ^ \^q frenchified in his souldiours sute, stand vpon termes
cannot mak . . .
stand on, by With " God's wounds ! you dishonour me, sir, you doo me
The com-
plaint of
drunkenues.
Drinking
^^^uch^lie ^^® disgrace, if you do not pledge me as much as I
too
must drinke drunke to you 3" and, in the midst of his cups, stand
asaine for his ^» i* 1 j 1 • • • ^ -xt.
penance. Taunting his manhood, beginning euerie sentence with
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PIERCE PENILESSE. 53
'* When I first bore arraes,^ when he neuer bare anie thing
but his lord's rapier afler him in his life. If he haue
been ouer^ and visited a towne of garrison, as a trauailer
or passenger, he hath as great experience as the greatest
commander and chiefe leader in England. A mightie
deformer of men's manners and features is this vnneces-
sarie vice of all other. Let him bee indued with neuer
so manie vertues, and haue as much goodly proportion
and fauour, as Nature can bestow vpon a man, yet if hee
be thirstie after his owne destruction, and hath no ioy
nor comfort, but when he is drowning his soule in a gal-
lon pot, that one beastly imperfection wil vtterly obscure
all that is commendable in him, and all his goode quali-
ties sinke like lead downe to the bottome of his carrow-
sing cups, where they will lye, like lees and dregges, dead
and vnregarded of any man.
Clim of the Clough, thou that vsest to drinke nothing
but scalding lead and sulphur in hell, thou art not so
greedie of thy night geare. O ! but thou hast a foule
swallow if it come once to the carrousing of humane
bloud ; but thats but sildom, once in seauen yeare, when
theres a great execution, otherwise thou art tyde at rack
and manger, and drinkst nothing but the agtui vitcB of
vengeance all thy life time. The prouerbe giues it
foorth thou art a knaue, and therefore I haue more hope
thou art some manner of a good fellowe : let mee in-
treate thee (since thou hast other iniquities inough to
circumuent vs withall) to wype this sinne out of the
catalogue of thy subtilties : helpe to blast the vyues, that
they may beare no more grapes, and sowre the wines in
the cellars and merchants' storehouses, that our countrey-
men maye not pisse out all their wit and thrift against
the walls. King Edgar, because his subiects should not King Edgar's
offend in swilling, and bibbing, as they did, caused certaine agaiMt d^
yron cups to be chayned to everie fountaine and wells ing.
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PIERCE PENILESSE.
The wonder-
full absti-
nence of the
Marquesse of
Pi>aua, yet
living.
The private
lawes
amon^rst
drunkards.
side^ and at everie vintner's doore, with yron jons in them,
to stint euery man how much he should drinke ; and he
that went heyond one of those pins forfeyted a pennie
for everie draught. And, if stories were well searcht, I
belieue hoopes in quart pots were inuented to that ende,
that eurie man should take his hoope, and no more. I
haue heard it iustified for a truth by great personages,
that the olde Marquesse of Pisana (who yet lines) drinkes
not once in seauen yeare ; and I haue read of one An-
dron of Argos, that was so sildome thirstie, that hee
trauailed ouer the hot, burning sands of Lybia, and
neuer drank. Then, why should our colde clyme bring
forth such fierie throats ? Are we more thirstie than
Spaine and Italy ^ where the sunnes force is doubled ?
The Germaines and Lowe Dutch, methinkes, should bee
continually kept moyst with the foggie ayre and stinck-
ing mystes that aryse out of theyr fennie soyle ; but
as their countrey is ouer-flowed with water, so are their
heads alwayes ouer-flowen with wine, and in their bel-
lyes they haue standing quag-myres and bogs of English
beere.
One of their breede it was that writ the booke,
De Arte Bibendi, a worshipfuU treatise, fitte for none
but Silenus and his asse to set forth : besides that vo-
lume, wee haue generall rules and iniunctiotis, as good
as printed precepts, or statutes set downe by acte of
Parliament, that goe from drunkard to drunkard ; as
still to keepe your first man, not to leaue anie flockes in
the bottome of the cup, to knock the glasse on your
thumbe when you haue done, to haue some shooing
home to pul on your wine, as a rasher of the coles, or a
redde herring, to stirre it about with a candle's ende to
make it taste better, and not to hold your peace whiles
the pot is stirring.
Nor haue we one or two kinde of drunkards onely.
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but eight kindes. The first is ape drunke ; and he Tbe eight
leapes, cmd singes, and hollowes, and daunceth for the drunkennes.
heauens : the second is lion drunke ; and he flings the
pots about the house, calls his hostesse whore, breakes
the glasse windowes with his dagger, and is apt to quar-
rell with anie roan that speaks to him : the third is
swine drunke ; heauie, lumpish, and sleepie, cmd cries
for a little more drinke, and a fewe more cloathes : the
fourth is sheepe drunke ; wise in his own conceipt, when
he cannot bring foorth a right word : the fifth is mawd-
len drunke ; when a fellowe will weepe for kindnes in the
midst of his ale, and kisse you, saying, '• By Grod, cap-
tame, I loue thee. Goe thy wayes; thou dost not
thinke so often of me as I doo of thee ; I would (if it
pleased God) I could not loue thee, so well as I doo ;'^
and then he puts his finger in his eye, and cryes : the
sixt is Martin drunke; when a man is drunke, and
drinkes himselfe sober ere he stirre: the seuenth is
goate drunke; when, in his drunkennes, he hath no
minde but on lecherie : the eighth is fox drunke — ^when
he is craftie drunke, as manie of the Dutchmen bee,
that will neuer bargaine but when they are drunke. All
these species, and more, haue I seen practised in one
companie at one sitting, when I haue been permitted to
remayne sober amongst them, onely to note their seuerall
humours. Hee that plyes anie one of them harde, it will
make him to write admyrable verses, and to haue a deepe
casting head, though hee were neuer so verye a dunce
before.
Gentlemen, all you that will not haue your braynes j^^ diacom-
twice sodden, or your flesh rotten with the dropsie, that modities of
•^ 1.1 drunkennes.
loue not to goe in greasie dublets, stockings out at the
heeles, and weare ale-house daggers at your backes, for-
sweare this slavering brauerie, that will make you haue
stinking breathes, and your bodies smell like brewers'
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aprons : rather keepe a snuffe in the bottome of the
glasse to light you to bed withall^ than leaue neuer an
eye in your head to lead you over the threshold. It
will bring you, in your olde age, to be companions with
none but porters and car-men ; to talke out of a cage,
ray ling as dronken men are wont, a hundred boyes won-
dering about them ; and to dye sodainely, as Fol Long,
the fencer, did, drinking aqua vitcB, From which (as all
Lt- the rest) good Lord deliuer Pierce Penilesse !
plainroT '^^^ "^^®® ^f ^^^^ enormitie (as of all euills) is Idlenes,
Sloth. or Sloth, which, hauing no paineful prouince to set hira
selfe a worke, runnes headlong, with the raynes in his
own hand, into all lasciuiousnesse and sensualitie that
maye bee. Men, when they are idle, and know not
what to do, saith one, " Let vs goe to the stilliard, and
drinke Rhenish wine." " Nay, if a man knew where a
good whorehouse were," saith another, " it were some-
what like." " Nay," saith the third, " let vs goe to a
dicing-house or a bowling-alley, and there we shall haue
some sport for our money." To one of these three (at
hand, quoth pick purse) your euill angelship. Master
Mani-headed Beast, conducts them, ubi quid agitur —
betwixt you and their soules be it, for I am no drawer,
box-keeper, or pandar, to bee priuie to their sports. If
I were to paint Sloth, (as I am not seene in the sweet-
nings) by Saint John the Euangelist, I sweare I would
draw it like a stationer that I knowe, with his thumb
vnder his girdle, who, if a man come to his stalle to aske
him for a booke, neuer stirres his head, or looks vpon him,
but stands stone still, and speakes not a word, only with
his little finger poynts backwards to his boy, who must
be his interpreter; and so all the day, gaping like a
dumbe image, he sits without motion, except at such
times as hee goes to dinner or supper, for then he is as
Videlicet, be- quicke as other three, eating sixe times euerie day. If
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I would raunge abroad^ and looke in at sluggards' key- fore he come
holes, I should iinde a number lying a bed to saue ^^^^ ^ ^^t '
char&[es of ordinaries ; and in winter, when they want breakfast,
« . , . , ,/. , • , then dinner,
nring, loosing halfe a week s commons together, to then after
keepe them warme in the linnen. And, hold you con- 5^"f?
^ 'J nuncbings,
tent, this summer an vnder-meale of an aftemoone long a supper, and
doth not amisse to exercise the eyes withall. Fat men *^«^®*"PP®^-
and farmers' sonnes, that sweate much with eating hard
cheese, and drinking olde wine, must have some more
ease than yong boyes, that take their pleasure all day
running vp and downe.
Setting jesting aside, I hold it a great disputable ques- Which is bet-
tion, which is a more euill man, of him that is an idle ^^^^^^ ^J ®
glutton at home, or a retchlesse vnthrift abroad ? The vagrant un-
glutton at home doth nothing but engender diseases,
pamper his flesh vnto lust, and is good for none but his
owue gut : the vnthrift a broad exerciseth his bodie at
dauncing schoole, fence ^choole, tennis, and all such re-
creations ; the vintners, the victuallers, the dicing-houses,
and who not, get by him. Suppose he lose a little now
and then at play, it teacheth him wit \ and how should
a man know to eschue vices, if his owne experience did
not acquaint him with their inconueniences ? Omne
iffnoium pro magnifico est : that villanie we have made
no assayes in, we admyre. Besides, my vagrant reueller
haunts playes, and sharpens his wits with frequenting
the companie of poets : he emboldens his blushing face
by courting faire women on the sodaine, and lookes into
all estates by conuersing with them in publique places.
Now, tell me whether of the two, the heauie headed
gluttonous house dove, or this liuely, wanton, yong gal-
lant, is like to proue the wiser man, and better member in
the common wealth ? If my youth might not be thought
partiall, the fine qualified gentleman, although vnstiud,
should carie it clean away from thelazie clownish droane.
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The effects of Sloth in nobilitie, courtiers, schoUers, or anie men, is
the chiefest cause that brings them in contempt. For«
as Industrie and vnfiattigable toyle raiseth meane persons
from obscure houses to high throanes of authorities so
sloth, and sluggish securitie, causeth proud lordes to
tumble from the towers of their starrie discents, and bee
trod ynder foote of euerie inferior Besonian. Is it the
lo% treading of a galliard, or fine grace in telling of a
loue tale amongst ladies, can make a man reuerenst of the
multitude P No; they care not for the false glistring of
gay garments, or insinuating curtesie of a carpet peere ;
but they delight to see him shine in armour, and oppose
himselfe to honourable daunger, to participate a volun-
tarie penny with his souldiours, and relieue part of theyr
want out of his own purse. That is the course he that
will be popular must take ; . which, if hee neglect, and sit
dallying at home, nor will be awakt by anie indignities
out of his loue-dreame, but suffer euery vpstart groome
to defie him, set him at naught, and shake him by
the beard vnreuenged, let him straight take orders, and
bee a church-man, and then Iiis patience may passe for a
vertue ; but otherwise to be suspected of cowardise, and
Tlie means to not car^d for of anie. The onely enemie to sloth is con-
tention and emulation; as to propose one man to my
selfe, that is the onely myrrour of our age, and strive to
out goe him in vertue. But this strife must be so tern-
pred, that we fal not from the eagernes of praise, to the
enuying of their persons ; for, then, we leaue running to
the goale of glorie, to spume at a stone that lyes in our
way; and so bid Atlante, in the midst of her course,
stoup to tieike vp the golden apple her enemie scattered
in her way, and was out-runne by Hippomenes. The
contrarie to this contention, and emulation, is securitie,
peace, quiet, tranquillitie ; when we haue no aduersarie
to pry into our actions, no malicious eye, whose pursuing
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our priuate behauiour might make vs more vigilant ouer
our imperfections than otherwise we would be.
That state or kingdome that is in league with all the
world, and hath no forreigne sword to vexe it, is not
halfe so strong or confirmed to endure, as that which
liues euerie houre in feare of inuasion. There is a cer-
taine wast of the people for whom there is no yse but
warre; and these men must haue some employment
still to cut them off« Nam si foras hostem nan habent,
dond invenieni. If they haue no seruice abroad, they
will make mutinies at home. Or if the affaires of the
state be such, as cannot exhale all these corrupt excre-
ments, it is verie expedient they have some lyght toyes
to busie their heads withall, to cast before them as bones
to gnaw vppon, which may keepe them from hauing lea-
sure to intermeddle with higher matters.
To this effect the policie of playes is verie necessarie, Tlie defence
however some shallow-brayned censurers (not the deepest
serchers into the secrets of gouernment) mightily op*
pugne them. For whereas the after noone being the
idlest time of the day, wherein men, that are their owne
masters, (as gentlemen of the court, the innes of the court,
and the number of captaines and souldiers about London)
doo wholly bestow themselues vpon pleasure, and that
pleasTure they deuide (how vertuously it skills not) either
into gameing, following of harlots, drinking, or seeing a
play, is it not then better (since of foure extreames aU
the world cannot keepe them but they will choose one)
that they should betake them to the least, which is
playes? Nay, what if I proue playes to be no extreame,
but a rare exercise of vertue ? First, for the subject of
them (for the most part) it is borrowed out of our Eng-
glish chronicles, wherein our forefathers valiant actes
(that haue lyne long buried in rustie brass and worme-
eaten bookes) are reuiued, and they themselves raysed
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60 PIERCE PENILESSE.
from the graue of obliuion, and brought to pleade their
aged honours in open presence ; than which, what can
bee a sharper reproofe to these degenerate effeminate
dayes of ours ?
How would it haue joy'd braue Talbot (the terror of
the French) to thinke that after he had lynetwo hundred
yeare in his tomb, he should triumph againe on the
stage, and haue his bones new embalmed with the teares
of ten thousand spectators at least, (at seuerall times)
who, in the tragedian that represents his person, imagine
they behold him fresh bleeding?
I will defend it against anie coUian, or club-fisted
usurer of them all, there is no immortalitie can be giuen
a man on earth like vnto playes. What talke I to them
of immoralitie, that are the onely vnderminers of honour,
& doo enuie anie man that is not sprung vp by base
brokerye like themselues ? They care not if all the aun-
cient houses were rooted out, so that, like the burgo-
masters of the Low Countries, they might share the go-
uernment amongst them as States, & be quarter- masters
of our monarchy. Al arts to them are vanitie : and, if
you tell them what a glorious thing it is to haue Henry
the Fifth represented on the stage, leading the French
king prisoner, and forcing both him and the Dolphin
sweare fealtie. I, but (will they say) what doo we get
by it ? respecting neither the right of fame that is due
to true nobilitie deceased, nor what hopes of eternitie are
to be proposed to aduentrous minds, to encourage them
forward, but onely their execrable lucre, and filthie
vnquenchable auarice.
They know when they are dead they shall not bee
brought ypon thee stage for any goodnes, but in a mer-
riment of the usurer and the diuell, or buying armes of
the herald, who giues them the lyon, without tongue tayle
or tallents, because his master whom he must serue is a
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PIERCE PENILESSE. 61
townsman^ and a man of peace, and must not keepe anie
quarrelling beasts to annoy his honest neighbours.
In playes, all coosonages^ all cunning drifts ouerguylded Tlie use of
with outward holinesse, all stratagems of warre, all the ^ ^^^'
canker-wormes that breede on the rust of peace^ are
most liuely anotomiz'd: they shew the ill successe of
treason, the fall of hastie climbers, the wretched ende of
vsurpers, the miserie of ciuill dissention, & howe iust
God is euermore in punishing of murther. And to proue
euerie one of these allegations, could I propound the cir-
cumstances of this play and that play, if I meant to
handle this theaiue other wise than obiter. What should
I say more ? they are sower pills of reprehension, wrapt
vp in sweete words. Whereas some petitioners to the x^e confuta-
Counsaile af^ainst them obiect, they corrupt the youth of ^^^ of cittn
..i.,i . /.,. , 2ens obiec-
the cittie, and with-drawe prentises from their worke, tionsagaiast
they heartily wish they might bee troubled with none of V^^y^^'
their youth nor their prentises; for some of them (I
meane the ruder handicraftes seruaunts) neuer come
abroad, but they are in danger of vndooing : and, as for
corrupting them when they come, thats false; for no
playe they haue encourageth anie man to tumults or re-
bellion, but layes before such the halter and the gallowes,
or prayseth or approoueth pride, lust, whoredome, prodi-
galize, or drunkennes, but beates them downe vtterly.
As for the hindrance of trades and traders of the citie by
them, that is an article foysted in by the vintners, ale-
"wiues, and victuallers, who surmise, if there were no
playes, they should haue all the companie that resort to
them, lye bowzing and beere-bathing in their houses
euerie after-noone. Nor so, nor so, good brother bottle-
ale ; for there are other places beside, where money can
bestow it selfe : the signe of the smocke will wype your
mouth clean, and yet I haue heard ye haue made her a
tenaunt to your tap-houses. But what shall he doo that
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bath spent himselfe? where shall he haunt? Faith,
when dice, lust, and drunkennes, and all haue dealt
vppon him, if there be neuer a playe for him to goe to
for his peny, he sits melancholy in his chamber, deuising
vpon felonie or treason, and how bee may best exalt him-
selfe by mis-chiefe.
In Augustus time (who was the patrone of all wittye
sports) there hapned a great firay in Rome about a
player, insomuch as all the citie was in an vproare:
whereupon the emperour (after the broyle was somewhat
ouer-blown) cald the player before him, and askt what
was the reason that a man of his qualitie durst presume
to make such a brawle about nothing. He smilingly re-
A players plide, " It is good for thee, O Caesar ! that the peoples
wittyaaswere jjeads are troubled with brawles and quarrels about vs
and our light matters ; for otherwise they would looke
into thee and thy matters.'^ Read Lipsius or anie pro-
phane or christian politician, and you shall finde him of
A comparison this opinion. Our playes are not as the players beyond
players and sea, a sort of squirting baudie comedians, that haue
thepl^ere chores and common curtizans to play womens parts, and
sea. forbeare no immodest speach or vnchast action that may
procure laughter ; but our sceane is more stately fumisht
than euen it was in the time of Roscius, our representa-
tions honorable, and full of gallaunt resolution, not con-
sisting, like theirs, of a pantaloun, a whore, and a zanie,
but of emperours, kings, and princes, whose true tragedies
{Sophocleo cothumo) they doo vaunt.
Not Roscius nor Esope, those tragedians admyred be-
fore Christ was borne, could euer performe more in action
The due com- than famous Ned Allen. I must accuse our poets of
Nwl Alien ""^ ^^^^ ^^ partialitie, that they wiU not boast in large im-
pressions what worthie men (aboue all nations) England
affbords. Other countreyes cannot haue a fidler breake
a string but they will put it in print, and the olde Ro-
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PIERCE PENILESSE. 63
manes in the writings they published, thought scorne to
vse anie but domestical examples of their owne home-
bred actors, schollers, and champions, and them they
would extoU to the third and fourth generation ; coblers,
tinkers, fencers, none escapt them, but they mingled
them all on one gallimafry of glory.
Heere I haue vsed a like methode, not of tying my
selfe to mine owne countrey, but by insisting in the ex-
perience of our time ; and, if I euer write any thing in
Latine, (as I hope one day I shall) not a man of any de-
sert heere amongst vs, but I will haue vp. Tarlton,
Ned Allen, Knell, Bentley, shall be made knowen to
D^aunce, Spflyne, and Italie ; and not a part that they
surmounted in more than other, but I will there note
and set downe, with the manner of their habites and at-
^re.
The child of sloth is lechery, which I haue plac't last Tlie seaventh
in my order of handling : a sinne that is able to make a p"a*lJft*'of *^"*'
man wicked that should describe it; for it hath more lechery,
starting-holes than a siue hath holes, more clyents than
Wesimimter Hall, more diseases than Newgate. Call a
leete at Byshqpsffote^ and examine how euery second
house in Shorditch is mayntayned : make a priuie search
in Souihwarkey and tell mee how many shee-inmates you
finde. Nay, goe where you will in the suburbes, and
bring me two virgines that haue vowd chastity, and He
build a nunnery.
fVeatminstery Westminster! much maydenhead hast
thou to answere for at the day of judgement. Thou hadst
a sanctuary in thee once, but hast few saints left in thee
now. Surgeons and appothecaries, you know what I
speake is true ; for you liue (like sumners) vppon the
sinnes of the people, tell me is there any place so lewde
as this lady London ? Not a wench sooner creepes out
of the shell, but she is of the religion. Some wiues will
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64 PIERCE PENILESSE.
SOW mandrake in theyr gardens, and crosse neighbour-
hood with them is counted good-fellowship.
The court I dare not touch, but surely there (as in the
heauens) bee many falling starres, and but one true
Diana. Consuetudo peccandi toUii sensum peccati. Cus-
tome is a lawe, and lust holdes it for a lawe, to liue
without lawe. Lais, that had so many poets to her
loners, could not allwaies preserue her beautie with their
prayses. Marble will weare away with much rayne,
gold wil rust with moyst keeping, and the ritchest gar-
ments are subiect to time's moath-frets : Clitemnestra,
that si ewe her husband to enioy the adulturer ^gistus,
and bathde herselfe in milke euery day to make her
younge againe, had a time when shee was ashamed to
viewe herselfe in a looking- glasse, and her boddie
withered, her minde being greene. The people poynted
at her for a murtherer, yonge children howted at her as
a strumpet. Shame, misery, sicknesse, beggery, is the
best end of vncleannesse.
liais, Cleopatra, Helen, if our clyme had any such,
noble Lord Warden of the wenches & anglers, I commend
them with the rest of our vncleane sisters in Skorditch,
the Spittle^ Soutkwarkej Westminster^ and TwmbuU
StreetCj to the protection of your portership; hoping
you will speedily carrie them to hell, there to keepe
open house for all yonge deuills that come, and not let
our ayre bee contaminated with theyr six penny damna^-
tion any longer.
Your diuelships
bounden execrator,
Pierce Pennilesse.
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Fierce penilesse. 65
A Supplication caldst thou this? (quoth the knight of
the post) it is the maddest Supplication that euer I
saw I me thinkes thou hast handled all the seauen deadly
sinnes in it, and spared none that exceedes his limits in
any of them. It is well doone to practise thy wit, but
(I beleeue) our lord will cun thee little thanke for it.
The worse for mee (quoth I), if my destenie be such,
to lose my labour euery where ; but I meane to take my
chance, be it good or bad. Well, hast thou any more
that thou wouldest haue me to doe ? (quoth hee) Onely
one sute, (quoth I) which is this ; that, sith opportunitie
so conueniently semes, you would acquaint me with the
state of your infemall regiment, and what that hell is,
where your lord holdes his throne ; whether a world like
this, which spirites like outlawes doe enhabit, who, being
banisht from heauen, as they are from their countrey,
envy that any shall be more happie then they, and
therefore seeke all meanes possible, that wit or arte may
inuent, to make other men as wretched as themselues ?
or whether it be a place of horror, stench, and dark-
nesse, where men see meat, but can get none, or are euer
thirstie, and ready to swelt for drinke, yet haue not the
power to tast the coole streames that runne hard at theyr
feete? where (permutaia vicimtudine) one ghost tor-
ments an other by tumes, and hee that all his life time
was a great fornicator, hath all the diseases of lust con-
tinually hanging vpon him, and is constrayned (the
more to augment his misery) to haue congresse euery
bowre with hagges and olde witches ; and he that was
a great drunkard heere on earth, hath his penance as-
signde him, to carouse himselfe drunke with dishwash
and vineger, and surfet foure times a day with sower
ale and small beere ? as so of the rest, as the vsurer to
swallow moulten gold, the glutton to eate nothing but
toades, and the murtherer to be still stabbd with dag*
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gers, but neuer dye ? or whether (as some phantasticall
refyners of phylosophy will needes perswade vs) hell is
nothing but error, and that none but fooles and idiote
and mechanicall men, that haue no learning, shall be
damnd? Of these doubts if you will resolue me, I shall
thinke my self to haue profited greatly by your com-
panie.
Hee, hearing me so inquisitiue in matters aboue hu-
mane capacitie, entertained my greedie humor with this
answere. Poets and philosophers, that take a pride in
inuenting new opinions, haue sought to renoume their
wits by hunting after strange conceits of heauen and
hell ; all generally agreeing that such places there are,
but how inhabited, by whom gouemed, or what betides
them that are transported to the one or the other, not
two of them iumpe in one tale. We, that to our terror
and griefe doo knowe their dotage by our sufferings, re*
ioyce to thinke how these sillie flyes play with the fire
that must bume them.
But leaning them to the laborynth of their fond curio-
side, shall I tell thee in a word what hell is ? It is a
place where the soules of vntemperate men, and ill liners
of al sorts, are detayned and imprisoned till the generall
resurrection, kept and possessed chiefly by spirites, who
lye like souldiours in garison, ready to be sent about
any sendee into the world, when soeuer Lucifer, theyr
lieftenaunt generall, pleaseth. For the scituation of it,
in respect of heauen, I can no better compare it than to
Callis and Doner ; for, as a man standing vpon Callis
sands may see men walking on Doner clyffes, so easely
may you discerne heauen from the farthest part of hell,
and behold the roelodie and motions of the angels and
spirites there resident in such perfect manner, as if you
were amongst them ; which, how it worketh in the
mindes and soules of them that haue no power to appre*
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hend such felicitie, it ia not for me to intioiatej because
it is preiudiciall to our monarchie.
I would bee some (quoth I) to importune you in anie
matter of seorecie ; yet this I desire, if it might bee done
without offence, that you would satisfie me in full sort,
and according to truth, what the diueU is whom you
seme, as also how he began, and how farre his power
and authoritie extends ?
Persie, beleeue me, thou shry vest me verie neere in
this latter demaond, which concemeth ya more deeply
than the former, and may worke V8 more damage than
thou art aware of ; yet, in hope thou wilt conceale what
I tell thee, I wil lay open our whole estate plainly and
simply vnto thee as it is. But first I will begin with the
opinions of former times, & so hasten forward to that
mamfe»te $mvim that thou seekest. Some men ther be
that, building to much vpon reason^ perawade them*
selues that there are no diuells at alL but that this word
damon is such another morall of mischiefe, as the poet's
Dame Fortune is of mishap ; for as vnder the fiction of
this blinde goddessewe ayme at the folly of princes and
great men in disposing of honors, that oftentimes pre*
ferre fooles and disgrace wise men, and alter their
fauors in turning of an eye, as Fortune turns her
wheele, so vnder the person of this olde Gnathonicall
companion, called the Diuell, we shrowd all subtiltie,
masking vnder the name of simplicitie all painted
holines devouring widowes houses, all gray-headed foxes
olad in sheepes garments ; so that the Diuell (as they
make it) is onely a pestilent humour in a man, of plea^
sure, profit, or policie, that violently carries him away
to vanitie, villanie, or monstrous hjrpocriaie. Under va-
nitie I comprehend not onely all vaine arts and studies
whatsoeuer, but also dishonorable prodigality, vntempe-
rate venerie, and that hatefiil sinne of selfe-loue, which
f8
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is so common among vs : vnder villany I comprehend
murder^ treason, theft, cousnage, cut-throat couetise, and
such like : lastly, vnder hypocrisie, al Machiavilisme, pu-
ritanisme, & outward gloasing with a mans enemie, and
protesting friendship to him I hate and meane to
harme, all vnder-hand cloaking of bad actions with com-
mon-wealth pretences ; and, finally, all Italionate con-
veyances, as to kill a man and then moume for him,
quasi vero it was not by my consent, to be a slaue to
him that hath iniur'd me, and kisse his feete for oppor*
tunities of reuenge, to be seuere in punishing offenders,
that none might haue the benefite of such meanes but
myselfe, to vse men for my purpose & then cast them
off, to seeke his destruction that knowes my secrets ;
and such as I haue imployed in any murther or strata-
gem, to set them priuily together by the eares to stab
each other mutually, for fear of bewraying me ; or, if
that faile, to hire them to humor one another in such
courses as may bring them both to the gallowes. These,
and a thousand more such sleights, hath hypocrisie
learned by trauailing strange countries. I will not say
she puts them in practise here in England, although
there be as many false brethren and crafty knaues here
amongst vs as in any place ; witnes the poore miller of
Cambridge, that, hauing no roome for his hen-loft but
the testor of his bed, and it was not possible for anie
hungrie poultrers to come there but they must stand vpon
the one side of it, and so not steale them but with great
hazard, had in one night notwitlistanding (when hee
and his wife were a snorting) all the whole progenie of
their pulterie taken away, and neyther of them heard
anie sturring : it is an odde tricke, but what of that,
we must not stand vpon it, for wee haue grauer matters
in hand than the stealing of hennes. Hypocrisie, I re-
member, was our text, which was one of the chiefe mor-
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rail Diuelfl, our late doctours aiErme to be most busie in
these dayes ; and busie it is, in truth, more than anye
bee that I knowe : now you talke of a bee. He tell you
a tale of a battle-dore.
The beare on a time, beeing chiefe burgomaster of all
the beastes vnder the lyon, gan thinke with himselfe
how hee might surfet in pleasure, or best husband his
authoritie to enlardge his delight and contentment. With
that hee beganne to prye and to smell through euerie
comer of the forrest for praye, to haue a thousand ima^
ginations with himselfe what daynetie morsell he was
master of, and yet had not tasted. Whole beards of
sheepe had he deuoured, and was not satisfied; fat oxen,
heyfers, swine, calues, and yong kiddes were his ordinarie
vyands : he longed for horse-flesh, and went presently to
a medowe, where a fat cammell was grazing, whom, fear**
ing to encounter with force because he was a huge beast
and well shod, he thought to betray vnder the colour of
demaunding homage, hoping that, as he should stoop to
doo him truage, he might seaze vpon his throate, and
stifle him before he should be able to recouer himselfe
from his false embrace. But therein hee was deceiued,
for, comming vnto this stately beast with this imperious
message, in stead of dooing homage vnto him, he lifled vp
one of his hindmost heeles, and stroake him such a blowe
on the forhead that he ouer-threwe him. Thereat not a
little moou'd, and enrag'd that he should be so dishonored
b^ his inferiour, as he thought, he consulted with the ape
how he might be reuenged. The ape, abhorring him by
nature because he ouer-lookt him so lordly, and was by
so manie degrees greater than he was, aduised him to dig
a pit with his pawes right in the way where this big boand
gentleman should passe, that so stumbling and falling in,
he might lightly skip on his backe, and bridle him, and
then hee come and seaze on him at his pleasure. Nq
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sooner was this perawaded &an performed ; for eniiy, that
is neuer idle, could not sleep in his wrath^ or oner-slip
the least opportumtie, till he had seene the oonfosion of
his enemie. Alas, goodly creature, that thou mightst
no longer Uue 1 What auailetii thy gentlenes, thy prow-
esse, or the plentiful pasture wherein thou wert fed, since
malice triumphs ouer al thou oiMnmandest? Well may
the mule rise vp in armes, and the asse bray at the au-
thors of thy death, yet shall th^r furie be feitall to them-
selues, before it take holde on these traitours. What
needetii more words P the deuourer feedes on his captiue,
and is gorged with bloud. But, as auarice and crueltie
are euermore thirstie, so far'd it with tiiis hungrie
usurper ; for, hauing fle At his ambition with this trea-
cherous conquest, he past along through a groue, where
a heard of deare were a ranging ; whom, when he had
stedfestly surveyed from the fattest to the leanest, hee
singled out one of the fairest of the company, with whom
he meant to close up his stomache instead of cheese :
but because tiie wood-men were euer stirring there-
about, and it was not possible for one of his coate to
commit 'such outrage vndescried, and that, if he were
espied, his life were in perill, though not with the lion,
whose eyes he coulde blinde as he list, yet with the lesser
sort of the brutish comminaltie, whom no flattry might
pacific. Therefore, he determined slylie and priuily to
poyson the streame where this jolly forrester wonted to
drink ; and as he determined so he did : whereby it
fell out that, when the sunne was ascended to his height,
and all the nimble citizens of the wood betooke them to
their laire, this youthfull lord of the lawnds, all faint and
malcontent, (as prophecying his neere approaching mis-
hap by his languishing) with a lazie, wallowing pace,
strayed aside from the rest of his fellowship, and betooke
him all carelessly to the corrupted fountaine that was
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prepared for his funerall. Ah, woe is mee I this poyson
is pitiles. What need I say more, since you know it is
death with whom it encounters ? And yet cannot all
this expence of life set a period to insatiable murther ;
but still it hath some anvyle to worke vpon, and ouer-
casts all opposite prosperitie that may anie way shadow
his glorie. Too long it were to reherse all the practises
of this sauadge Uood hunter ; how he assailed the uni-
come as he slept in his den^ and tore the heart out of his
breast ere he could awake; how he made the lesser beasts
lie in wayt one for the other, and the crocodyle to coapa
with the basiliske, that when they had enterchaungeably
weakned each other, bee might come and insult ouer them
both as he list. But these were lesser matters, which
daily vse had wome out of men's mouths, and he himself
had so customably practised, that often exercise had quite
abrogated the opinion of sinne, and impudence throughly
confirmd an vndaunted defiance of vertue in his fietce.
Yet new-fangled lust, that in time is wearie of wel£Eure^
and will be as soone cloyed with too much ease and de-
licacie, as pouertie with labour and scardtie, at length
brought him out of loue with this greedie, bestiall hu-
mour ; and now he affected a milder varietie in his diet :
he had bethought him what a pleasant thing it was to
eate nothing but honnie another while, and what great
store of it there was in that countrey.
Now did he cast in his head, that if hee might bring
the husbandmen of the soyle in opinion that they might
buy honey cheaper than being at such charges in keeping
of bees, or that those bees which they kept were most of
them drones, b what should such idle drones doo with
such stately hyues, or lye sucking at such precious honni-
combs; tiiat if they were took away from them and
distributed equally abroad, they would releeue a great
manie of painfull labourers that had need of them, and
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would continually Hue seruiceable at their conunaund, if
they might enioy such a benefite : nay more^ let them
giue waspes but onely the wax, and dispose of the honnie
as they thinke good, and they shal humme and buzze a
thousand times lowder than they, and haue the hiue fuller
at the yeres end (with yong ones, I meane) than the bees
are wont in ten yere.
To broach this deuice the foxe was addrest like a
shepheards dogge, and promist to haue his pattent seald,
to bee the king^s poulterer for euer, if hee could bring it
to passe. Faith, quoth he, and He put it in a venter, let
it hap how it will. With that he grew in league with an
old camelidn, that could put on all shapes, and imitate
anie colour, as occasion serued ; and him he addrest, some-
time like an ape to make sport, & then like a crocodile
to weepe, sometime lyke a serpent to sting, cmd by and
by like a spaniel to fawne; that with these sundrie
formes, (applyde to mens variable humors) he might
perswade the world he ment as he spake, and only in-
tended their good when he thought nothing lesse. In
this disguise these two deceiuers went vp and downe,
€md did much harme vnder the habite of simplicities
making the poore silly swaines beleeue they were cunning
phisitions, and well scene in all cures, that they could
heale anye malady, though neuer so daungerous, and re-
store a man to life that had been dead two dayes, only by
breathing vpon him, Aboue all things they perswaded
them, that the honny that their bees brought forth was
poysonous and corrupt, by reason that those floures and
hearbs, out of which it was gathered and exhaled, were
subiect to the infection of euery spider and venlmous
canker, and not a loathsome toade (how detestable soeuer)
but reposde himselfe vnder theyr shadow, and lay sucking
at their routes continually : wheras in other countries, no
noisome or poisnous creature might liue, by reason of the
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PIERCE PENILESSE. 73
imputed goodnes of the soyle, or carefull diligence of the
gardners aboue ours; as, for example, Scotland, Den-
marke, and some more pure parts of the 17 proukices.
These perswasions made the good honest husbandmen to
pause, €md mistrust their owne wits verie much in nou-
rishing such dangerous animals; but yet, I know not
how, antiquitie and custome so ouer rulde their feare, that Interdum
none would resolue to abandon them on the sodaine, til tum^d^et
they saw a further inconuenience ; whereby my two cun- ubi peccat.
ning philosophers were driuen to studie Galen anew, and
seeke splenatiue simples to purge their popular patients
of the opinion of their olde traditions and customes;
which, how they wrought with the most part that had
least wit, it were a world to tell. For now nothing was
canonicall but what they spake, no man would conuerse
with his wife but first askt their aduise, nor pare his
nayles, nor cut his beard without their prescription :
so senseles, so wauering is the light vnconstaunt multi-
tude, that will daunce after euerye mans pype, and
sooner prefer a blinde harper that can squeake out a new
home'pipe, than Alcinous or AppoUoes varietie, that
imitates the eight straines of the Doryan melodic. I
speak this to amplify the nouel folly of the headlong
vulgar, that making their eyes and eares vassailes to
the legerdemaine of these iugling mountebanks, are
presently drawne to contemne art and experience, in
comparison of the ignorance of a number of audacious
ideots. The fox can tell a fieure tale, and couers all his
knauerie vnder conscience, and the camelion can ad-
dresse himself like an angell whensoeuer he is disposed
to worke mischief by myracles ; but yet, in the end,
their secret driftes are laide open, and linceus eyes, that
see through stone walls, haue made a passage into the
close couerture of their hypocrisie.
For one daye, as these two deuisers were plotting by
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74 PIERCE PENILESSE.
themselues how to driue all the bees from their honni*
combes, by putting worm-wood in their hyues, and
strewing henbane and rue in euerie place where they
resort, a flye that past by, and heard all their taike, sto-
macking the foxe of olde, for that he had murthered so
manie of his kindred with his flayle-driuing taile, went
presently and buzd in linceus eares the whole purport
of their malice ; who awaking his hundred eyes at these
vnexpected tidings gan pursue them whersoeuer they
went, and trace their intents as they proceeded into ac-
tion, so that ere halfe their baytes were cast foorth, they
were apprehended and imprisoned, and all their whole
counsaile detected. But long ere this, the beare, impa-
tient of delayes, and consum'd with an inward greefe in
himselfe, that hee might not haue his will of a fat hinde
that out-ran him, he went into the woods all melancholy,
and there dyed for pure anger, leauing the foxe and the
camelion to the destinie of their desert, and mercie of
their judges. How they scapte I know not, but some
saye they were hanged, and so weele leaue them.
How lik'st thou of my tale, friend Persie ? Haue I
not described a right earthly diuell vnto thee in the dis-
course of this bloodie-minded beare ? or canst thou not
attract the true image of hypocrisie vnder the descrip-
tion of the foxe and the camelion.
Yes, verie wel (quoth I) ; but I would gladly haue
you retume to joxxr first subiect, since you haue mooued
doubts in my minde, which you haue not yet discust.
Of the sundrie opinions of the diuell thou meanest,
and them that imagine him to haue no existence, of
which sort are they that first inuented the prouerbe,
furnio hamini dcsmon ; meaning thereby that that power
which we call the deuill, and the mipistring spirites be-
longing to his kingdom, are tales and fables, and meere
bugge-beares to scare boyes, and that there is no such
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FIERCE PEKILESSE. 75
essence at all^ but onely it is a terme of large content^
describing the rancour, grudge^ & bad dealing of one
man tcmards another; as, namely, when one friend
talkes with another subtilly, and seekes to dyue into his
commoditie, that hee may depriue him of it craftily }
when the sonne seeks the death of the father, that he
may be infeofFed in his wealth ; and the step-dame goes
about to make away her sonne-in-law, that her children
may inherit ; when brothers fall at jarres for portions,
& shall, by open murther or priuy conspiracie, attempt
the confusion of each other, only to ioyne house to
house, and vnite two liuelihoods in one ; when the ser-
uant shal rob his master, and men put in trust start
away from their oathes and vowes, they care not how.
In such cases and many more, may one man be said
to bee a deuill to an other, and this is the second opinion.
The third is that of Plato, who not only aifirmeth that
there are diuells, but deuided them into three sorts,
euery one a degree of dignity aboue the other : the first
are those, whose bodies are copact of tiie purest ayerie ele-
ment, combined with such transparent threds, that
neither they doo partake so much fier as should make
them visible to sight, or haue any such afBnitie with the
earth, as they are able to be prest or toucht ; and these he
setteth in the highest incomprehensible degree of heauen*
The second he maketh these, whom Apuleius dooth call
reasonable creatures, passiue in mind and etemall in
time, being those apostata spirites that rebelled with
Belzebub ; whose bodies, before their fall, were bright
and pure all like to the former, but, after their trans-
gression, they were obscured with a thicke, fiery matter,
and euer after assigned to darknes. The third he attri-
butes to those men that, by some diuine knowledge or
vnderstanding seeming to aspyre aboue mortallitie, are
called (kenumoy (that is) gods, for this word dcsmon con-
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tayneth eyther, and Homer in euery place dooth vse it
both for that omnipotent power that was before all things,
and the euill spirite that leadeth men to error : so dooth
Syrianus testifie that Plato was called daemon, because
he disputed of deepe common-wealth matters, greatly
auaylable to the benefit of his countrey ; and Aristotle,
because he wrot at large of all things subiect to mouing
and sence. Then belike (quoth I) you make this word
dcBmon a capable name of gods, of men, and of deuills ;
which is farre distant from the scoape of my demand, for
I doo only inquire of the diuell, as this common appella-
tion of the diuel signifieth a malignant spirit, enemie to
mankinde, and a hater of God and all goodnes. Those
are the second kinde, said he, usually termed detractors,
or accusers, that are in knowledge infinite, insomuch as,
by the quickness of their wits & agreeable mixtures of
the elements, they so comprehend those seminarie vertues
to men vnknown, that those things which, in course of
time or by growing degrees. Nature of itselfe can effect,
they, by their art and skil in hastning the works of Na-
ture, can contriue and compasse in a moment : as the
magitians of Pharao, who, whereas Nature, not without
some interposition of time and ordinarie causes of con-
ception, brings forth frogs, serpents, or any lining thing
els, they, without all such distance of space, or circum-
scription of season, euen in a thought, as soone as their
king commanded, couered the land of Egipt with this
monstrous encrease. Of the original of vs spirites the
Scripture most amply maketh mention; namely, that
Lucifer, (before his fall) an arch-angel, was a cleere
bodie, compact of the purest and brightest of the ayre,
but after his fall hee was vayled with a groser sub-
stance, and tooke a new forme of darke and thicke ayre,
which he still reteineth. Neither did he onely fall when
hee stroue with Michael, but drewe a number of angels
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PIERCE PENILESSB. 77
to his faction, who, ioynt partakers of his proud reuolt,
were likewise partakers of his punishment, and all thrust
out of heauen together by one iudgement; who euer
since doo^ nothing but wander about the earth, and
tempt and enforce frayle men to enterprise all wickednes
that may bee, and commit most horrible and abhominable
things against Grod. Mervaile not that I discouer so much
of our estate vnto thee, for the Scripture hath more than
I mention ; as S. Peter, where he saith that God spared
not his angels thai sinned; and in an other place, wher
he saith that they are bound with the chains of darknes,
and throwen headlong into hell ; which is not meant of any
locall place in the earth, or vnder the waters, for, as
Austin affirmeth, we doe inhabite the region vnder the
moone, and haue the thick aire assigned vs as a prison,
from whence we may with small labour cast our nets where
wee list : yet are we not so at our disposition, but that
we are still commanded by Lucifer, (although we are in
number infinit) who, retaining that pride wherewUfa he
arrogantly afPected the maiestie of God, hath still his
ministring angels about him, whom he employes in seue^
rail charges, to seduce & deceiue as him seemeth best : as
those spirits which the Latins call Jovios and Antemeri-
dianoSy to speake out of oracles, and make the people
worship them as gods, when they are nothing but de-
luding diuels, that couet to haue a false deitie ascribed
vnto them, & draw men vnto their loue by wonders and
prodegies, that els wold hate them deadly, if they knew
their maleuolence and enuie. Such a monarchizing spirit
it was that said vnto Christ, I/thou unit fall downe, and
worsh^ me, I will giue thee all the kingdomes of the
earth; and such a spirit it was that possest the Libian
Bapho, and the Emprour Dioclesian, who thought it the
blessedst thing that might be to be called God. For the
one being wearie of humane honor, & inspired with a
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78 PIERCE PENILE8SE.
supernaturall fdly, taught little birds, that were capable
of gpeach, to pronounce distinctly, Magmts Deus 8a^ ;
that is to say, A great god is Sapho : which words, when
they had learned readely to carroU, and were perfect in
their note, he let them flie at randome, that so dis*
persing themseluea euery where, they might induce the
people to account of him as a god. The other was so
arrogant, that he made his aubiects fal prostrate on their
faces, and, lifting yp their hands to him as to heauen,
adore him as omnipotent*
The second kind of diuels, which he most imployeth,
are those notheme Marciit called the spirits of reuenge,
& the authors of massacres, & seedsmen of mischiefe; for
they haue commisson to incense men to rapines, sacri«
ledge, theft, murther, wrath, furie, and all manner of
cruelties, & they conunaund certaine of the southern
spirits (as slaves) to wait vpon them, as also great Arioch^
that is tearmed the spirite of reuenge.
TMfese know how to dissociate the loue of brethren,
and to break wedlock bands with such violence, that
they may not be vnited, and are predominant in many
other domestical mutinies ; of whom, if you list to heare
more, read the 89 of Ecclesiasticus. The prophet Esay
maketh mention of another spirit, sent by Grod to the
Effiptians, to make them stray and wander out of the
way, that is to say, the spirite of lying, which they call
Bolychym. The spirits that entice men to gluttony &
lust, are certaine watry spirits of the west, and certaine
southern spirits as Nefrach and Kelen, which for the
most part prosecute vnlawfiill loues, and cherish all
vnnatural desires : they wander through lakes, fish*
ponds, and fennes, and ouerwhelm ships, cast boates
vpon ankers, and drowne men that are swinunings
therefore are they counted the most pestilent, trouble-
some, and guilefuU spirits that are ; for by the helpe
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PIERCE PENILESSE. 79
of AJynach^ a spirit of the west, they will raise stormes,
cause earthquakes, whirlwindes, rayne, haile or snow in
the cleerest day that is ; and if euer they appeare to
anie man, they come in womens apparell. The spirits
of the aire will mixe themselues with thunder and light-
ening, and so infect the clyme where they raise any
tempest, that sodainely great mortalitie shal ensue to
the inhabitants from the infectious vapors which arise
from their motions. Of such S. John maketh mention
in the ninth of the Apocalips ; their patrone is Mereris,
who beareth chief rule about the middle time of the day.
The spirits of the fire haue their mansions vnder
the regions of the moone, that whatsoeuer is committed
to their charge they may there execute, as in their
proper consistorie, from whence they cannot start. The
spirits of the earth keepe, for the most part, in forrests
and woods, and doo hunters much noyance ; and some-
time in the broad fields, where they lead trauelers out
of the right way, or fright men with deformed appari-
tions, or make them run mad through excessiue melan-
choly, like Aiax Telamonious, & so proue hurtful to
themselves, & dangerous to others : of this number the
chiefe are Samaab and Achynoael, spirits of the east,
that haue no power to doo any great barm, by reason of
the vnconstancie of their affections. The vnder-earth
spirits are such as lurk in dens & little cauernes of the
earth, and hollow crevises of mountaines, that they may
dyue into the bowels of the earth at their pleasures :
these dig metals and watch treasures, which they con-
tinually transport from place to place, that non should
haue vse of them : they raise windes that vomit flames,
& shake the foundation of buildins ; they daunce in
rounds in pleasant lawnds, and greene medowes, with
noises of musick and minstralsy, and vanish away when
any comes nere them : they will take vpon them any
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similitude but that of a woman, and terrefie men in the
likeness of dead mens ghosts in the night time ; and of
this qualitie and condition the nigromancers hold Ga-
ziel, Fegor, and Anarazel, southerne spirits, to be. Be-
sides, there are yet remaining certaine lying spirits,
who (although all be giuen to lye by nature) yet are
they more prone to that vice than the rest, being named
Pythonists, of whom Apollo comes to be called Pythasus :
they haue a prince aswel as other spirits, of whom men-
tion is made in the 3 book of Kings, when hee saith he
will be a lying spirit in the mouth of all Ahabs pro-
phets ; from which those spirites of iniquitie doo little
differ, which are called the vessels of wrath, that assist
Belial (whom they interpret a spirite without yoake or
controuler) in all damnable devises and inuentions.
Plato reports them to be such as first devised cardes and
dice, and I am in the mind that the monke was of the
same order that found out the vse of gunpouder, and
the engines of warre therto belonging. Those that
' writ of these matters call this Beliall Chodar of the east,
that hath all witches and coniurers spirits vnder his
iurisdiction, & giues themleaue to helpejuglers in their
tricks, and Simon Magus to doo miracles ; allwaies pro-
uided they bring a soule home to their master for his hyre.
Yet are not these all, for there are spirits called
spies and tale-cariers, obedient to Ascaroth, whom the
Greekes call Daimona, and S. John, the accuser of the
brethren : also tempters, who for their interrupting vs in
al our good actions are cald our euill angels. Aboue
all things they hate the light, and reioyce in darkness,
disquieting men maliciously in the night, & sometimes
hurt them by pinching them, or blasting them as they
sleepe ; but they are not so much to be dreaded as other
spirites, because if a man speak to them they flee away,
and will not abide. Such a spirit Plinius Secundus
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telleth of, that used to haunt a goodly house in Athens
that Athenodorus hired : and such another Suetonius
descriheth to haue long houered in Lamianus garden,
where Caligula lay huried ; who for because hee was
onely couered with a fewe clods, and vnreuently throwne
amongst the weedes, hee meruailously disturbed the
owners of the garden, & would not let them rest in their
beds, till by his sisters, returned from banishment,
he was takerx vp, & entoombed solemnly. Pausanias
avoucheth (amongst other experiments) that a cer-
taine spirit called Zazilus doth feed vpon dead mens
corses, that are not deeply enterred as they ought:
which to confirme, there is a wonderfull accident set
downe in the Danish historic of Asuitus and Asmundus,
who, being too famous frends (well knowen in those
parts) vowd one to another, that which of them two out-
lined the other shuld be buried aliue with his frend that
first died. In short space Asuitus fell sicke and yeelded
to nature : Asmundus, compelled by the oathe of his
friendship, took none but his horse and his dog with
him, and transported the dead bodie into a vast caue
vnder the earth, and ther determined, hauing victualed
himselfe for a long time, to finish his dayes in darknes,
and neuer depart from him that he loued so dearlie.
Thus shut vp, and enclosed in the bowels of the earth,
it hapned Eritus, King of Sweveland, to passe that way
with his armie, not full two moneths after; who coming
to the toombe of Asuitus, and suspecting it a place
where treasure was hidden, caused his pioneers with
their spades and mattockes to dig it vp: whereupon
was discouered the loathsome body of Asmundus, al to
besmeared with dead mens filth, and his visage most
vgly and flfearfuU, which imbrued with congealed bloud,
and eaten and torne like a raw vlcer, made him so
gastly to behold, that all the lookers on were afFrighted.
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8S PIERCB PENILE8SE.
Hee, seeing himselfe restored to light, and so many
amazed men stand abont him, resolned their yncertaine
perpleadtie in these tearmes. ** Why stand ye astonisht
at my vnusual deformities, when no lining man conuer-
seth with the dead but is thus disfigured ? But other
causes haue effected this alteration in me ; for I know
not what audacious spirit, sent by Gorgon from the deep,
hath not only most rauenously deuoured my horse and
my dog, but also hath laid his himgrie pawes vpon mee,
and, tearing downe my cheekes as you see, hath like-
wise rent away one of mine eares. Hence it is that my
mangled shape seemes so monstrous, and my humane
image obscured with gore in this wise. Yet scaped not
this fell harpie from mee vnreuengd : for, as he as-
saird me, I raught his head from his shoulders, and
sheathed my sword in his body." Haue spirits their
visible bodies, said I, that may be toucht, wounded, or
pierst ? Beleeue me, I neuer heard that in my life be-
fore this. Why, quoth he, although in their proper
essence they are creatures incorporal, yet can they take
vpon them the induments of any liuing body whatsoeuer,
and transforme themselues into all kinde of shapes,
whereby they may more easily deceiue our shallow wits
and senses. So testifies Basilius, that they can put on
a materiall forme when they list. Socrates affirmeth
that his daemon did oftentimes talke with him, & that
he saw & felt him many times. But Marcus Cherone-
sius (a wonderfull di^couerer of diuels) writeth, that
those bodies which they assume are distinguisht by no
difference of sex, because they are simple, and the dis-
cemaunce of sex belongs to bodies compound. Yet are
they flexible, motiue, and apt for any configuration,
but not al of them alike ; for the spirits of the fire and
aire haue this power aboue the rest. The spirits of the
water haue slow bodies resembling birds and women, of
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PIERCE PENILESSE. 83
which kinde the Naiades and Nereides are much cele*
brated amongst poets. Neuertheles^ howeuer they are
restrayned to their seuerall similitudes, it is certaine that
all of them desire no forme or figure so much as the
likenesse of a man, & doo thinke themselves in heauen
when they are infeoft in that hue. Wherefore I know no
other reason but this, that man is the neerest representa*
tion to God, in so much as the scripture saith, ** He made
man after his own likenesse and image ;^* and they affect-
^Sf ^7 reason of their pride, to bee as like God as they
may, contend most seriously to shroud themselues vnder
that habit.
But, I pray, tell mee this, whether are there (as
Porphirius holdeth) good spirits aswell as euill? Nay,
certainly, (quoth he) we are al evill, let Phorphirius, Pro-
clus, Apuleius, or the Platonists dispute to the contrary
as long as they will ; which I will confirme to thy capa-
city by the names that are euerie where giuen vs in the
Scripture ; for the deuill, which is the mmmum genus to
vs all, is called Diaboltu quasi deorsum ruens, that is to
say, falling downward, as he that aspyring too high was
thrown from the top of felicitie to the lowest pit of de-
spayre; and Sathan, that is to say, an aduersary, who, for
the corruption of his malyce, opposeth himselfe euer
against God, who is the chiefest good. In Job Behemoth
and Leuiathan, and in the 9 of the Apocalips, Apolion,
that is to say, a subuerter ; because the foundation of
those yertues, which our high Maker hath planted in our
soules, hee vndermineth and subuerteth. A serpent for
his poysoning, a lyon for his deuouring ; a furnace, for
that by his malyce the elect are tryed, who are vessels of
wrath and saluation. In Esay a syren, a lamia, a
scrich-owle, an estridge. In the P&almes, an adder, a
basiliske, a dragon ; and lastlie, in the gospel, Mammon,
prince of this world, and the gouernour of darknes. So
g2
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that, by the whole course of condemning names that are
gyuen vs, and no one instance of any fauorable tytle be-
stowed vppon vs, I positiuely set downe that all spirits
are euill. Now, whereas the diuines attribute vnto vs
these good and euill spirits, the good to guide vs from
euill, and the euill to draw ts from goodnesse, they are
not called spirites, but angells, of which sort was Ra-
phaell, the good angell of Tobias, who exilde the euill
spirite Asmodius into the desart of Egipt, that he might
bee the more secure from his temptation. Since we haue
entred thus far into the deuills common-wealth, I beseech
you certefie me thus much, whether haue they power to
hurt granted them from God or from themselues ? can
they hurt as much as they will ? Not so, quoth hee, for
although that diuells be most mightie spirits, yet can
they not hurt but permissiuely, or by some special dis-
pensation : as when a man is falne into the state of an out-
law, the lawe dispenseth with them that kils him, & the
prince excludes liim from the protection of a subiect, so,
when a man is a relaps from God and his lawes, God
withdrawes his prouidence from watching ouer him, &
authorizeth the deuil, as his instrument, to assault him
and torment him, so that whatsoeuer he dooth, is Undiata
potestaie, as one saith ; insomuch as a haire cannot fall
from our heads, without the will of our heauenly father.
The diuell could not deceiue Achabs prophetes till
he was licensed by God, nor exercise his tyrannic ouer
Job, til he had giuen him commission, nor enter into the
heard of swine, til Christ bad them goe. Therefore, need
you not feare the diuel any whit, as long as you are in
the fauour of God, who raineth him so straight, that ex-
cept he let him loose he can doo nothing. This manlike
proportion, which I now retaine, is but a thing of suf-
france, granted vnto me to plague such men as hunt after
strife, and are delighted with variance. It may bee so
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PIERCE PENILESSE. 85
Terie well ; but whether haue you that skill to foretell
things to come, that is ascribed vnto you ? We haue
(quoth he) sometimes; not that we are priuy to the
etemall counsel of God, but for that by sense of our ayrie
bodies we haue a more refined faculty of foreseeing, than
men possibly can haue that are chained to such heauie
earthly moulder ; or els for that by the incomparable
pemicitie of those ayrie bodies, we not onely out-strip the
swiftnes of men, beasts and birds, wherby we may be able
to attain to the knowledge of things sooner, than those
that by the dulnes of their earthly sense come a great
way behinde vs. Hereunto may we adjoin our long ex-
perience in the course of things from the beginning of
the world, which men want, and, therefore, cannot haue
that deep conjecture that we haue. Nor is our know-
ledge any more than coniecture, for prescience only be-
longeth to God ; & that gesse that we haue proceedeth
from the compared disposition of heauenly & earthly bo-
dies, by whose long obserued temperature we doo diuine
manie times as it happens : & therefore doo we take
vpon vs to prophecy, that we may purchase estimation
to our names, & bring men in admiration with that we
doo, and so be counted for gods. The myracles wee work
are partly contriued by illusion, and partly assisted by that
supematurall skill we haue in the experience of nature
aboue al other creatures. — ^But against these allusions of
your subtiltie and vaine terrors you inflict, what is our
chiefe refuge ? — I shalbe accounted a foolish diuel anone,
if I bewray the secrets of our kingdome as I haue begun $
yet speak I no more than learned clarkes haue written,
and asmuch as they haue set downe will I shew thee.
Origen, in his Treatise against Celsus, saith there
is nothing better for him that is vexed with spirits, than
the naming of Jesu, the true God ; for he auoucheth he
hath seen divers driuen out of mens bodies by that
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86 PIERCE PENILES8B.
meanes. Athanasius in his booke De wmis gneitiamhm
saith, the presentest remedie against the inuasion of euill
spirits is the beginning of the 67 Psakne, Exurgat Deu9,
Sf di89^eniur immici efua. Cyprian counsailes men to
abiure spirits onely by the name of the true God. Some
hold that fire is a preseruatiue for this purpose, because
when any spirit appeareth^ the lights by little and little
goe out, as it were of their owne accord, and the taper*
are by degrees extiuguisht. Others by inuocating vpon
God, by the name of Vehicubim ignis superioriSi and
often rehearsing the articles of our faith. A third sort
are perswaded that the brandishing of swords is good for
this purpose, because Homer faineth, that Ulisses, sacri*
ficing to his mother, wafted his sword in the aire to
chase the spirits from the bloud of the sacrifice : and
Sibilla, conducting iEneas to hell, begins her charmes in
this sort.
Procul, Oprocul, esteprophani :
Tltguejuvande viam^ vaginaque eripe ferrum.
FhilostratuB reporteth, that he and his companions meet-
ing that diuel which artists entitle Apolonius, as they
came one night from banquetting, with such termes as
he is curst in holy writ, they made him run away how-
ling. Manie in this case extoll perfume of Calamentum
pceofda menia palma ChrUiiy and Appius. A number
prefer the carying of red corrall about them, or of
Arthemisia hypericonf ruta verbenas & to this effect
manie doo vse the jyngling of keyes, the sound of the
harp, and the clashing of armor. Some of old time put
great superstition in characters curiously engraued in
theyr Pentagonon, but they are all vaine, & will do no
good, if they be otherwise vsed than as signes of coven-
aunt betweene the diuell & them. Nor doo I ai&rme all
the rest to be vnfallible prescriptions, though sometime
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PIERCE PENILE8SE. 87
they haue their vse ; but that the onely assured way to
resist their attempts is prayer and faith, gainst which all
the diuells in hell cannot preuaile. Inough, gentle spirit :
I wil importune thee no farther, but commit this Suppli-
cation to thy care ; which, if thou deliuer accordingly,
thou shalt at thy retume haue more of my custome, for
by that time I wil haue finished certain letters to diuers
orators & poets, dispersed in your dominions. — Thats as
occasion shal serue ; but now I must take leaue of you,
for it is terme time, and I haue some busines. A gen*
tleman (a firend of mine, that I neuer saw before) stayes
for me, and is like to be vndone if I come not in to bear
witnes on his side. Wherefore BazUez manua till our
next meeting.
Gentle reader, tandem aUquando I am at leasure to
talke to thee. I dare say thou hast called me a hundred
times dolt for this senseles discourse : it is no matter^
thou dost but as I haue done by a number in my dayes ;
for who can abide a scuruie pedling poet to plucke a
man by the sleeue at euerie third step in Paules Church*
yard, and when hee comes in to suruey his wares, theres
nothing but purgations and vomits wrapt vp in wast
paper. It were verie good the dogwhipper in Paules
would haue a care of this in his unsaverie visitation euerie
Saterday, for it is dangerous for such of the queenes liedge
people as shall take a viewe of them fasting.
Lfooke to it, you booksellers & stationers, and let not
your shops be infected with any such goose gyblets, or
stinking garbadge as the jygs of newsmongers; and
especially such of you as frequent Westminster Hall, let
them be circumspect what dunghill papers they bring
thether: for one bad pamphlet is inough to raise a
dampe that may poyson a whole terme, or at the least a
number, of poore clyents, that haue no money topreuent
il aire by breaking their fasts ere they come thether*
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88 FIERCE PENILESSE.
Not a base Jack-dropper^ or scuruie plodder at JVoferjfi/,
but yailes his asses eares on euery poast^ & comes off
with long circumqttaque to the gentlemen readers ; yea,
the mostexcerementarie dislikers of learning are growne
80 valiant in impudence, that now they set vp their faces
(like Turks) of gray paper, to be spet at for siluer game
in Finsburie Fields. Whilst I am thus talking, me
thinkes I heare one say, what a fop is this 1 he entitles his
Booke a Supplication to the Diuell, & doth nothing but
raile on ideots, and tells a storie of the nature of spirits.
Haue patience, good sir, and weele come to you by and
by. Is it my title you finde fault with ? Why, haue
you not seene a towne surnamed by the principall house
in the towne, or a noble man deriue his baronie from a
little village where he hath least land ? So fareth it by
me in christening of my booke. But some will obiect,
wheretoo tends this discourie of diuels, or how is it in-
duc'd? Forsooth, if thou wilt needs know my reson,
this it is. I bring Pierce Penilesse to question with the
diuel, as a yong nouice would talke with a great trauailer^
who, carying an Englishmans appetite to enquire of
news, will be sure to make what vse of him he may, and
not leaue any thing vnaskt, that he can resolue him of.
If, then, the diuell be tedious in discoursing, impute it to
Fierce Penilesse that was importunate in demanding :
or if I haue not made him so secret or subtill in his art,
as diuels are wont, let that of Lactantius be mine excuse,
lib 2, cap 16 de Origenis errore, when he saith the diuels
haue no power to lie to a just man ; and if they abiure
them by the maiesty of the high God, they will not onely
confesse themselues to be diuels, but also tell their names
as they are. DeiiS bone I what a vaine am I fallen into !
What ! an epistle to the readers in the end of thy booke ?
Out vpon thee for an arrant blocke, where learndst thou
that wit? O, sir, hold your peace: a fellow neuer
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PIERCE PENILESSE. 89
comes to his answere before the offence be committed.
Wherefore, if I in the beginning of my book should haue
come off with a long apologie to excuse my selfe, it were
all one, as if a theefe, going to steale a horse, should deuise
by the way as he went what to speake when he came at
the gallowes. Here is a crosse way, and I thinke it good
heere to part. Farewell, farewell, good Parenthesis, and
commend me to Ladie Vanitie, thy mistres.
Now, Pierce Peniles, if for a parting blow thou hast ere
a tricke in thy budget more than ordinarie, bee not daintie
of it, for a good patron will pay for all. I, where is he P
Promissis quUibet dives esse potest. But cap and thanks
is all our courtiers payment ; wherefore, I would counsell
my frends to be more considerate in their dedications,
and not cast away so many months labour vppon a
clowne that knowes not how to vse a schoUer : for, what
reason haue I to bestow any of my wit vpon him, that
Will bestow none of his wealth vpon me ? Alas, it is an
easie matter for a goodlie tall fellow, that shines in his
silkes, to come and out face a poore simple pedant in a
thred-bare cloake, and tell him his booke is prety, but at
this time he is not prouided for him. Marrie, about two
or three daies hence if he come that way, his page shal
say he is not within, or els he is so busie with my L.
How-call-ye him, and my L. What-call-ye-him, that he
may not be spoken withall. These are the common
courses of the world, which euery man priuately mur-
mures at, but none dares openly vpbraid, because the most
artists are base minded : like the Indians, that haue store
of gold & precious stones at commaund, yet are ignorant
of their value, and therefore let the Spaniards, the English-
men, & euery one load their ships with them without mo«
testation ; so they, enioying and possessing the puritie of
knowledge, (a treasure Carre richer than the Indian mynes)
let euerie proud Thraso be pertaker of their perfections.
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90 PIERCE PENILESSE.
repaying them no profit, and gyld himself with the titles
they giue him^ when be wil scarce return them a good
word for their labor. Giue an ape but a nut^ and he wil
looke your head for it ; or a dog a bone, and hele wag his
tayle ; but giue me one of my young masters a booke,
and he will put off his hat and blush, and so goe his way.
Yes, now I remember me, I lye ; for I know him
that had thankes for three yeares worke, and a gentle-
man that bestowed much cost in refining of musicke, &
had scarse fidlers wages for his labor. We want an
Aretine here among vs, that might strip these golden
asses out of their gay trappings, and after he had
ridden them to death with rayling, leaue them on the
dunghil for carion. But I will write to his ghost by my
carrier, & I hope hele repaire his whip, and vse it
against our English peacockes, that painting them-
selues with church spoyles, like mightie mens sepul-
chers, haue nothing but atheisme, schisme, hypocrisie,
and vainglory, like rotten bones lurking within them.
O ! how my soule abhors these buckram giants, that
hauing an outward face of honor set vpon them by flat-
terers & parasites, haue iheyr inward thoughts stuft
with straw and fethers, if they were narrowly sifted.
Farre be it, bright starres of nobilitie, and glistring
attendaunts on the true Diana, that this my speach
should be anie way injurious to your glorious magni*
ficence, for in you line those sparkes of Augustus libe-
ralitie, that neuer sent any away emptie ; and science
seauenfold throne, welnigh ruined by riot and auarice,
is mightely supported by your plentiful largesse, which
makes poets to sing such goodly hymnes of your praise,
as no enuious posteritie may forget. But from ge-
nerall fame, let me digres to my priuate experience,
and, with a tongue vnworthie to name a name of such
worthines, affectionately emblazon, to the eyes of won-
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PIERCE PENILESSE. 91
der, the matchless image of honor, & magnificent re-
warder of yertue, Joves eagle-borne Ganimede, thrice
noble Amintas, in whose high spirit such a deitie of wis*
dome appeareth, that if Homer were to write his Odyssea
new, (where, vnder the person of Vlysses, he describeth
a singular man of perfection, in whome all the ornaments
both of peace and war are assembled in the height of
their excelence) he need no other instance to augment his
conceipt, than the rare cariage of his honorable minde.
Many writers and good wits are giuen to commend their
patrons and benefactors, some for prowesse, some for po-
licy, others for the glorie of their ancestrie and exceeding
bountie and liberalitie ; but if my vnable pen should euer
enterprise such a continuate taske of praise, I would em-
bowell a number of those wind-puft bladders, and dis-
furnish their bald pates of the perriwigs poets haue lent
them, that so I might restore glorye to his right inherit-
ance, and these stolne titles to their true owners : which,
if it would so fall out, (as time may worke all things) the
aspiring nettles, with their shadie tops, shall no longer
ouer-dreep the best hearbs^ or keep them from the smiling
aspect of the sunne, that line and thriue by comfortable
beames. None but Desert should sit in Fame's grace, none
but Hector be remembred in the chronicles of prow esse,
none but thou, most courteous Amyntas, bee the second
musicall argument of the Knight of the Red-crosse.
Oh decus atque csvi gloria summa iui.
And here (heauenly Spencer) I am most highly to ac-
cuse thee of forgetfulnes, that in that honourable cata-
logue of our English heroes, which insueth the conclusion
of thy famous Fairie Queene, thou wouldest let so speciall
a piller of nobilitie passe vnsaluted. The verie thought
of his farre deriued discent, and extraordinarie parts,
wherewith hee astoineth the world, and drawes all hearts
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92 PIERCE PENILESSE.
to his loue, would haue inspired thy forewearied muse with
new furie to proceede to the next triumphs of thy stately
goddesse ; but as I, in favor of so rare a scholer, suppose
with this counsaile he refraind his mention in this first
part^ that he might with full saile proceede to his due
commendations in the second. Of this occasion long
since I happened to frame a sonnet, which, being wholly
intended to the reuerence of this renoumed lord (to whom
I owe all the vtmost powers of my loue and duetie j I
meant here for varietie of style to insert.
Perusing yesternight, with idle eyes,
The Fairy Singer's stately tuned verse,
And viewing, after chap-mens wonted guise.
What strange contents the tytle did rehearse ;
I streight leapt ouer to the latter end,
Where, like the queint comaedians of our time
That when their play is doone doe fall to ryme,
I found short lynes, to sundry nobles pend.
Whom he as speciall mirrours singled fourth
To be the patrons of his poetry.
I read them all, and reuerenc't their worth.
Yet wondred he left out thy memory ;
But therefore gest I he supprest thy name,
Because few words might not comprise thy fame.
Beare with mee, gentle Poet, though I conceiue not
aright of thy purpose, or be too inquisitiue into the intent
of thy oblivion ; for, how euer my coniecture may misse
the cushion, yet shall my speech sauour of friendship,
though it be not allied to judgement.
Tantum hoc moKor in this short digression, to acquaint
our coimtrymen, that lyue out of the eccho of the courte,
with a common knowledge of his inualuable vertues, and
shew my selfe thankfuU (in some part) for benefits re-
ceyued ; which, silice words may not counteruayle that
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PIERCE PENILESSE. 98
are the usual lyp -labor of euery idle discourser, I conclude
with that of Ouid.
Accipeper longos iibi qui deserviat annos^
Accipe quipura novit amarefide.
And if my zeale and duety (though all to meane to
please) may by any industry be reformed to your gra-
cious liking, I submit the simplicitie of my endeuours to
your seruice, which is all my performance may prefer, or
my abilitie performe.
Prcebeat Alcmnpoma beniffnta offer ^
Officium pauper numeret studiumque fidemque.
And so I breake off tliis endlesse argument of speeche
abruptly.
FINIS.
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NOTES.
Page 5» line 23^ Divines and dying men may talke of hell^
But in my heart her several torments dweU.]
This couplet, as stated in the Introduction, is found in <' The Yorkshire
Tragedy," 4to. 1608, attributed to Shakespeare, having been printed with
his name on the title-page, and afterwards inserted in the folio volume of
his works published in 1664. The lines had been previously taken possession
of by that notorious plagiary, S. Nicholson, who in 1600 printed a small
volume, which he called " Acolastus his Afterwitte." They there stand as
follows :^
'* If on the earth there may be found a hell.
Within my soule her several torments dwell."
** Acolastus his Afterwitte" is made up of unquoted quotations from authors
of the time, including Shakespeare, from whose " Venus and Adonis " and
♦* Lucrece " S. N. borrowed, or rather stole largely.
Page 7, line 12, the exployts of Untrusse.] It appears, from the
original letter by Nash, which is printed in the *' Hist of Engl. Dram.
Poetry and the Stage" (i. 303), that Anthony Munday was the writer of
this ballad of" Untruss." " O, it is detestable (says Nash, writing to Sir
Robert Cotton) and abhominable, far worse then Munday 's ballet of Un-
trusse, or Gillian of Braynfords Will." The whole letter is a very curious
and valuable relic of the time : no doubt there was some " pamphlet in
praise of pudding pricks," and " a treatise of Tom Thumb," printed about
the same date.
Page 8, line 17, 1, I> wele giue loosers leaue to talke.] It must be borne
in mind that the affirmative Ai/ was almost invariably expressed by a ca-
pital / at the period when this tract was printed. In a passage in " Romeo
and Juliet" (act iii. sc. 2), it is necessary to preserve the old spelling in this
respect, in consequence of the play upon the " bare vowel " /.
'* Hath Romeo slain himself? say thou but I,
And that bare vowel 1 shall poison more
Than the death*darting eye of cockatrice," &c.
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NOTES. 96
Paf^e lly line 7, a short thrid*bare gowne on his backe,&c*t with moath-
eaten budge.] Budge was a common kind of fur, often mentioned in our
old writers. Stowe, in his '' Survey >" informs us that Budge-row was so
called ** of budge fur, and of the skinners dwelling there." Thoms's Edit.
p. 94. Ben Jonson, in his *' Bartholomew Fair " (act L so. 1), speaks of
the ** coney-skin woman of Budge-row/'
Page 11, line 30, retyred me to Paules, to seeke my dinner with Duke
Humfrey.] The allusions in our old comic writers to dining with Duke
Humphrey, in tlie walks of St. Paul's Church, are almost endless. In W.
Rowley's ** Match at Midnight,*' act ii. sc. i., Jarvis inquires, ** Are they
none of Duke Humfreys furies ? do you think they devised this plot in
Pauls to get a dinner?" See also Bishop Hall's Satires, 1597 (sat. 7),
G. Harvey's '' Four Letters," &c. 1592, Dekker's '* Gull's Hornbook,"
1609,&c.&c.
Page 12, line 14, A knight of the post, quoth he.] A knight of the post
was a person who received money for giving bail for a debtor, or other
party in custody. The teha was sometimes used for a cheat generally.
To the particular personage employed by Nash on this occasion, his con-
temporary, T. M., refers in '' The Black Book," 1604, 4to. Sig. B 2.
'* The blacke Knight of the Poste shortly retumes
From Hell, where many a Tobacc'nist burnes."
Nothing could be more easy than to accumulate similar allusions to these
hirelings.
Page 13, line 3, Marquesse of Conytus.] Of course " Conytus " is a
misprint for Cocytus, but it runs through the second and other edi-
tions of the tract. " Lymbo," afterwards mentioned, is the Limbus Pa-
trum, where the patriarchs, &c., were supposed to be confined until they
were set at liberty on the descent of the Saviour. Lymbo, or Limbo, was
often used as the cant word for any prison or place of durance. See Shake-
speare's '* Henry WIU,^** act v. sc. 3.
Page 14, line 6, 1 knowe a great sort of good fellows.] i. e. a great com"
pony of good fellows : " sort " is perpetually used in the sense of collection,
or company, in our old writers.
Page 14, line 15, set in onion skind jackets.] This is the reading of the
second edition : the first has " set in onions kind jackets."
Page 14, line 23, with angle hookes instead of aglets.] Aglets, properly
aiguUleUes, were the ends or tags of strings used to fasten or sustain dress.
These tags sometimes represented small figures, and hence Grumio's
" aglet baby," in '' The Taming of the Shrew," act i. sc 2.
Page 14, line 28, bumbasted tjiey were, like beer barrels.] It was the
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fashion of the time to stuff out the lower part of the dress of men with cot^
ton, wool, or horse-hair. Hence, in *' Henry IV.," part i.. Prince Henry
calls Falstaff '' my sweet creature of bombast " — act iL sc. 4.
Page 16, line 4, and a saijants mace in his mouth.] A bailiff, at the
date when this tract was written, was called a ** serjeant."
Page 16, line 19, in steed of oyle, to sayme wool withall.] To " sayme'*
is to greeue. Seme is Saxon for tallow, or hogslard. In Welsh it is spelt
saim, Shakespeare uses the word in '^Troilus and Cressida," act ii. sc. 2.
Page 17, line 7, a squier of low degree.] ** The Squyre of Lowe De-
gree" is the title of an old romance printed by W. Copland, and inserted by
Ritson in vol. iii. of his Collection of Romances. It is one of the compara-
tiTely few productions of the kind which was of English origin, though
perhaps they are more numerous than Ritson imagined.
Page 17, line 16, his spade peake.] Alluding to the cut of his beard,
which was shaped like such a spade as came to a point, or peak, and not
square, as they are now usually made.
Page 17, line 23, that hath beene but once at Deepe.] i. e. at Dieppe,
as '' Roan " above is Rouen.
Page 18^ line 29, A young heyre, or cockney, that is his mother's darling.]
Dekker,inhis ''Knights Conjuring," (recently reprinted for the Percy So-
ciety, under the editorial care of Mr. Rimbault, the Secretary) derives the
word "cockney" from cockering; and in " The Contention between Libe-
rality and Prodigality," 1602, one of the characters says, '' I was at first
like a cockney dandled."
Page 19, line 7> haberdine and poor John] Poor John was dried and
salted fish — ^hake ', and " haberdine " was food of a similar kind, viz. salt
cod — hahordean, French.
Page 20, line 22, like the Barrowists and Greenwoodians] Henry
Barrow and John Greenwood were executed in the beginning of 1593,
(6 April) very soon after this tract by Nash had been published. The in-
terrogatories which they were required to answer with reference to their
works and tenets, may be found in detail in ''TheEgerton Papers," (pub-
lished by the Camden Society, from the originals in the possession of Lord
Francis Egerton) p. 166, et seq.
Page 21, line 4, but a needle in his bosome.] This " artificer " was a
tailor. Francis Thynn, in his admirable poem, '' The Debate betweene
Pride and Lowlines," (Shakespeare Society's publications) from which Ro-
bert Greene took his " Quip for an Upstart Courtier," 1592, thus con-
cludes his description of a tailor :
** He coudiscended soone to our request :
Then I, beholding him advisedly.
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NOTES. 97
Sawe where a needle sticked an his brest.
And at the same a blacke thread hanging by."
Page 22, line 2, Mother Bunches slymie ale ] Mother Bunch was^ no
doubt, some well known ale-wife of the time, in 1604 was published a
jest-book, entitled " Pasquib Jests, mixed with Mother Bunches Merri-
ments," and it was reprinted in 1629, with some additions, but with the
omission a part of the book called <' A Doozen of Guiles." Dekker in his
" Satiromastix," 1602, introduces a mention of Mother Bunch.
Page 22, line 15, coystrells] i. c. properly kestrels, a degenerate kind of
hawk, and metaphorically used for a coward, or a bully. Shakespeare
uses the word in '* Twelfth Night."
Page 22, line 24, and a good legge.] Probably, we are here to take " a
good leg " for a handsome bow, the meaning being, that the seven liberal
sciences and humble deportment will scarce procure bread and cheese for
a scholar. " To make a leg " was synonymous with bowing. In " Timon
of Athens," act i. sc. 2, Apemantus says of the servile guests,
" I doubt whether their legs are worth the sums
That are given for 'em."
Page 23, line 7> Ulisses was a tall man.] Tall in the language of the
time was bold, courageous. Nothing can well be more common than the
use of " tall " in this sense.
Page 23, line 22, a rebater.] Commonly spelt rehatoe, a portion of dress
▼ery much in fashion at this period, and often mentioned in '* Patient
Grissill," 1603, reprinted by the Shakespeare Society. It was a species of
ruff much stiffened, and it has been derived by Menage, from the Fr. ra-
6a</r0,. because at first it was nothing but the collar turned back.
Page 25, line 6, wholly compact of deceivable courtship.] i. e. entirely .
made, or composed of it. The word compact is frequently so used by
Shakespeare. Thus in " The Comedy of Errors," act iii. sc. 2, it is said
that women are *' compact of credit, or made of credulity. In "As You
Like It," act ii. sc. T, we have " compact of jars ;" in " Midsummer Night's
Dream," act v. sc. i. "of imagination all compact," &c. Afterwards in this
tract we are told that Lucifer before his fall was *' a cleere bodie, compact
of the purest and brightest of the ayre."
Page 28, line 29, after the colour of a newe Lord Mayor* s posts^ Al-
luding to the custom of- painting the posts of the house inhabited by the
Lord Ma) or. The painting of the sheriffs' posts is over and over again
spoken of by old writers. The latter part of the sentence refers to the pa-
geants exhibited in the city on Lord Mayor's day, then the 29th of October
in each year.
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Page 28^ line 31, if a painter were to draw any of these counterfeits.]
" Counterfeit" was the most common word for a portrait, and a " table "
for the canvass, or panel, on which it was painted.
Page 29, line 2, the ballet of Blue SUrch and Poaking Stickes.] The
name of any such '' sin-washing poet " has not reached our day, nor indeed
the ballad here celebrated. Blue starch was used for stiffening ruffs, &c.,
and seems to have preceded yellow starch, which was in the highest fashion
in the reign of James 1. Mrs. Turner, who was executed for being coo-
cerned in the murder of Sir Thomas Overbury, was a maker of it. '* Po-
king sticks," or poting sticks, as they were sometimes called, were used ui
setting ruff», and are often mentioned, especially by Stubbes, in his '' Ana-
tomy of Abuses," 1583, 8vo.
Page 29, line 6, like a lanterne and candle man] i. e. like a watc\) man,
who '' went up and downe," calling upon people to hang out lanterns and
candles for the purpose of lighting the streets. At Bridgewater House
is preserved a series of plates of the '' Cries of London," and one of them
represents a watchman with his lantern and halbert, while over his head is
engraved the following inscription, '' Lanthorne and a whole candell light :
hang out your lights heare." See the ** Bridgewater Catalogue," 1837,
4 to. p. 76, where a fac-simile of the engraving is given.
Page 30, line 5, tinne and pewter are more esteemed than Latine.] A
quibble upon the word Latin, which was the name of a mixed metal, fre*
quently mentioned with a similar play upon the word : ^* tin and pewter"
seem intended to express money, as, indeed, they are used at this day.
Long Lane,Smithtield, was a place full of brokers' or pawnbrokers' shops in
the reign of Elizabeth and James T.
Page 30, line 11, Ploiden's standish] i. e. Edmund Plowden's, the great
lawyer's, inkstand. Plowden died in 1585.
Page 30, line 23, said it was the foulest place he could spie out in all his
house.] lliis story is told in Sachetti's novels, and no doubt in many other
works. Sachetti tells it of the palace of a nobleman of Italy.
Page 30, line 27> a plume of the Phenix.] Here again Nash has been
at the Italian novelists. This refers to the tale of Frsete Cipolla in Bocaccio,
as it was reformed by command of the pope in some of the later editions of
the "Decameron." In the original story, as written by Bocaccio, the
plume was not that of the phcenix, but of the angel Gabriel, when he de-
scended at the time of the Salutation.
Page 30, line 28, A thousand jymians,] I do not recollect the word
*' jymiam" to have occurred in any other writer : Shakespeare has " ghn-
mal" in " Henry VI." part i. (act i. sc. 2), and '' gimmal bit " is met with
iu " Henry V." (act iv. sc. 2.) It would not be at all unprecedented if the
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NOTES. 99
word '' jemmy," an instrument now used by housebreakerSi had as ancient
an origin, for many old words are still preserved among the slang of the
lower orders. Nash seems in the text to employ the word '* jymiam" just
in the sense in which we use gimcrack now. Gimcraek is at least as old as
the time of Beaumont and Fletcher.
Page 31, line 32, Hey, passe, come aloft!] This was the ordinary ex-
damation of conjurors, or jugglers, in performing their tricks, and it is still
often employed by the same fraternity.
Page 36, line 7) Tarlton and the rest of his fellowes.] At the date when
Nash was writing, Richard Tarlton had been dead about four year^, having
been buried in September, 1588. The queen selected her company of
players in 1583 from the theatrical servants of some of her nobility, and of
these Tarlton was one of the principal, his reputation and popularity being
most extraordinary. He is mentioned by almost hundreds of writers of the
time. Before 1590, Queen Elizabeth had two associations of actors in her
pay, both calling themselves *' the Queen's Players/' See Cunningham's
" Revels' Accounts" (published by the Shakespeare Society), " Introduc-
tion," p. xxxii. The fame of Tarlton survived until the breaking out of the
civil wars, and the suppression of theatrical performances.
Page 36, line 16, and make no more account of her cloath in his presence. J
It may be necessary to observe that the players of the queen were at first
regularly supplied with cloth for cloaks, that they might wear her majesty's
livery. After some time the practice seems to have been discontinued, and
an allowance was made in consideration of the non- supply of cloth.
Page 38, line 3, Not far from Chester, I knewe an odde foule-mouthde
knaue, called Charles, the Fryer.] This tale is supposed to be founded on
fact, and to relate to the person Ben Jonson has introduced into his *' Every
Man out of his Humour," under the name of Carlo Buffune : his real name
was Charles Chester, which Nash disguises by laying the scene near Ches-
ter, and by calling the hero a friar.
Page 39, line 10, Cornelius Agrippa De Vanitate Scientiarum.] This
work had long been translated into English, by James Sandford, under the
title of " Of the Vanitie and Uncertaintie of Artes and Sciences," 4to. Lon-
don, 1569. It was reprinted several times, and, when Nash wrote, it was
very popular.
Page 39, line 1 1, a treatise that I have seen in dispraise of learning.]
Such as the Morup Encomium of Erasmus, which was translated into Eng-
lish by Sir Thomas Chaloner, and first printed in 1540 under the title of
the " Praise of Follie."
Page 40, line 10, one such rare poem as Rosamond.] By Samuel Daniel ;
first printed in the year when Nash's '^ Pierce penniless" came out. It
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was appended to a collection of sonnets by Daniel^ called ** Delia/* and
the work was so popular that it went through two editions in 1592^ 4to.
Only one perfect copy of the first edition of 1592 appears to exist; and it is
to be observed that '' The Complaint of Rosamond/' as it is there called^
contains no fewer than twenty>four stanzas not in the second impression of
the same year. The second impression, however^ includes four sonnets not
in the first. The following is one of them :^
My cares draw on mine euerlasting night.
In horror's sjible clowdes sets my live's sunne ;
' My live's sweet sunne, my deerest comfort's light.
Will rise no more to me, whose day is dunne.
I goe before unto the mirtle shades.
To attend the presence of my world's deere ;
And there prepare her flowres that neuer fade.
And all things fit against her comming there.
If any aske me, why so soone I came.
He hide her sinne, and say it was my lot :
In life and death He tender her good name ;
My life nor death shall never be her blot.
Although this world may seeme her deede to blame :
Th' EUisean ghosts shall neuer know the same."
Page 40, line 25, Silver-tongu'd Smith.] The marginal note shews that
the Christian name of this poet began with '* H. Encomium H. Smithi."
We have relics of several English versifiers of the name of Smith, but not
one of them was H, Smith. The most noted of the Smiths was William,
who wrote ** Chloris, or the Complaint of the passionate despised Sbep-
heard," 1596, 4to. which was dedicated to Spenser. He is not to be con-
founded with Wentworth Smith, who was himself confounded with Shake-
speare, on account of the identity of their initials.
Page 41, line 23, noble Salustrus.] i. e. William de Saluste du Bartas,
with whose works Englishmen were beginning to be acquainted, as several
of his productions had been translated by Joshua Sylvester in 1591.
Page 41, line 27, Chaucer's host, Baly, in Southwarke.] We are not
aware that the name of Chaucer's host in Southwark has been handed down
on any other authority, since the time of the author of the " Canterbury
Tales."
Page 43, line 13, some tyrde jade of the presse.] Much that follows is
directed against Gabriel Harvey and his brothers John and Richard : the
former had named Nash '^ expressly in print."
Page 44, line 26, Tarlton at the Theater made jests of him.] Tarlton
was famous for his extemporal wit, and a volume of his " Jests" has come
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NOTES. 101
down to U9> some of which are of this kind. The earliest known edition of
it was printed in 1611. '* The Theatre" was a place of dramatic amuse-
ment so called^ at which Tarlton no doubt performed : it was situated like
** The Curtain," another playhouse^ in Shoreditch. An account of both
may be found in Vol. iii. of*' The History of English Dramatic Poetry and
the Stage." See also Stow's "Survey," by Thoms, 1842, p. 158.
Page 46, line 14, the vayn Pap-hatchet.] Meaning John Lilly, Lyly,or
Lily, for his name is thus diversely spelt, the author of " Euphues," 1581,
and various dramas. The work particularly alluded to in the text is a tract
against Martin Marprelate, called ** Pap with a Hatchet, alias, a Fig for
my Godson," &c. which was published without a date, but probably in 1589.
It was at one time attributed to Nash, and it is written in obvious imitation
of his satirical and objurgatory style.
Page 49, line 11, Doctor Watson.] This must have been the Dr. Wat-
son who was employed by Queen Elizabeth in some of her foreign negoci-
ations, and elsewhere spoken of by Nash, not Thomas Watson, the author
of *' BKorofiiraBta, or Passionate Century of Love," (printed about 1581)
as we do not learn that he ever took the degree of doctor, either of divinity,
medicine, or civil law. He died before Nash published his ''Have with you
to Saffron Walden," in 1596, and was author of another work, of even
greater rarity than his '' Eicaro/ifra^ca :" it was printed in 1593 under the
title of ** The Teares of Fancie, or Love Disdained." It consists of sixty
sonnets, but the only copy known (it is in a private library) wants two leaves,
containing eight sonnets : we quote one of these productions, not only on
account of its rarity, but on account of the remarkable simplicity and
beauty of its versification : —
'' Behold, dear Mistress, how each pleasant green
Will now renew bis summer's livery :
The fragrant flowers, which have, not long been seen.
Will flourish now ere long in bravery.
But 1, alas ! within whose mourning mind
The grafts of grief are only given to grow.
Cannot enjoy the Spring which others find,.
But still my will must wither all in woe.
The lusty ver, that whilom might exchange
My grief to joy, and my delight increase.
Springs now elsewhere, and shows to me but strange :
My winters woe, therefore, can never cease.
In other coasts his sun doth clearly shine.
And comfort lends to every mould but mine.
Page 49, line 34, to the provant of the Low Countries.] " Provant " means
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the provision or rations dealt out to the armyj the scantiness and quality
of which, in the Low Countries, Nash contrasts with the flesh-pots of Egypt.
'' Provant " was sometimes applied to the dress and weapons with which
the soldiers were furnished : thus we hear of " provant sword " and " pro-
vant breeches " in Massinger and Middleton. The word occurs in Shake-
speare, Ben Jonson, and in many other writers of his time.
Page 50, line 17, No I doo it, my friend, that I may not be carefull for
the morrow.] A story, with precisely the same point, is contained in '' The
Schoolmaster or Teacher of Table Phylosophie," 4to. 1576 and 1583, at-
tributed to Thomas Twyne. It there runs as follows : —
<' Phillip King of Fraunce having certaine poore priests with him at bis
table at dinner, perceived one, that sate farthest off at the horde's end, con-
veying an whole capon into his pocket : when dinner was ended the king
called him aside, and enquired of him secretly what he studied ? who an-
swered, divinity. Why, said the king, is it not written in the Scriptures
that you should not be carefull for meat against the morrow ? Yea, said
the Priest, and, therefore, because I would put away all carefulnes I have
done this thing."
Page 51. line 29, The dorter staires.] i.e. the dormitory stairs. It is
sometimes spelt doriure, and is a contraction of the Latin dormiiura. The
French write it dortoir.
Page 52, line 3, keepe aloofe at Pancredge,"] So Pancras used formerly
to be sometimes spelt.
Page 52, line 7, in their snaphaunce bags.] A snaphaunce was a species
of firelock, from the German schnaphans. We probably procured the wea-
pon from Germany.
Page 52, line 24, drinke super nagulum, &c.] Nash uses some of these
driuking exclamations in his ^* Summers Last Will aod Testament," 1600
(Dodsley's Old Plays, vol. ix. p* 49). " A vous, monsieur W^inter, a frolick
upsey freeze, cross ho ! super nagulum,** " Frohck " and " upsey freeze "
were no doubt introduced from Friesland. Super nagulum is used by Ben
Jonson, or by his assistant, in " The Case is Alter'd," 1609, act iv. sc. 3,
and is a corruption (as Nash^ in fact, explains in his marginal note) of super
ungulam.
Page 52, line 29, a princockes.] Or a princox, was a coxcomb.
Page 53, line 17, Clim of the CJough.] The names by which Nash from
time to time addresses the devil, are generally applicable and easily under-
stood : but why he should call him " Clim of the Clough " is not so clear.
Adam Bell, Clim of the Clough, and William of Cloudeslie, were all famous
archers, as we know by the celebrated ballad. The Devil is not usually
represented as skilful with the bow, though his minister Death bears it.
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NOTES. 103
and uses it with unerring aim. Hence the beautiful apologue, in so many
languages^ of Cupid and Death changing arrows by mistake, upon which
James Shirley founded a dramatic entertainment, printed in 1653.
Page 64j line 6, that euery man should take his hoope, and no more.]
Jack Cade was not of this opinion when he declared (" Henry VI." pt. 2,
vol. v. p. 187) " There shall be in England seven half-penny loaves sold
for a penny: the three-hooped pot shall have ten hoops; and I will make
it felony to drink small beer."
Page 54, line 22, One of their breed it was that writ the booke De Arte
Bibendi.] The following minute description of the ceremonies used in
drinking a health is extracted from B. Rich's *' Irish Hubbub," printed
without date, about 1618. ^' He that beginnes the health hath his pre-
scribed orders; first, uncovering his head, hee takes a full cup in his hand,
and setting his countenance with a grave aspect, he craves for audience.
Silence being once obtained, hee beginnes to breath out the name, perad-
venture of some honorable personage that is worthy of a better regard then
to have his name polluted at so unfitting a time, amongst a company of
drunkards : but his health is drunk too ; and hee that pledgeth must like-
wise off with his cap, kisse his fingers, and bow himselfe in signe of a
reverent acceptance. When the leader sees his follower thus prepared,, he
sups up his broath, tumes the bottome of the cup upward, and in osten-
tation of his dexteritie, gives the cup a phillip to make it cry Twango. And
thus the first scene is acted.
" The cup being newly replenished to the breadth of an haire, he that is
the pledger must now beginne his part, and thus it goes round throughout
the whole company ; provided alwayes by a canon set downe by the Founder,
there must bee three at the least still uncovered, till the health hath had
the fiiU passage ; which is no sooner ended but another begins againe, and
bee drinkes an health to his Lady of little worth, or perad venture to his
light heeVd mistress."
Page 56, line 7, as Fol Long, the fencer, did.] We are not aware that
the name of this worthy has survived in any other production of the time.
Of course the event was well known, or Nash would have entered into
more particulars.
Page 56, line 26, like a stationer that I know.] Perhaps Nash owed
this *' stationer " (whoever he might be) a grudge for not purchasing
one of his pamphlets, and therefore immortalised, not his name, but his
nature. At this date the term '^ stationer" included abo the business of
a bookseller or publisher.
Page 57, line 14, a retchlesse unthrift abroad.] '« Retchlesse " is pro-
perly reckless, or careless. The word not unfrequently took this form.
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Page 58, line 7* everie inferior Bezonian.] " Bezonian " is a word which
occurs several times in Shakespeare: " Henry IV.," pt ii. act v. sc. iii.,
"Henry VI.," pt. ii. act iv., sc. 2, &c. It is derived from the Italian,
bisogno, need, or want, and Florio, in his dictionary, translates bisogno
also " a fresh needy soldier." ^
Page 58, line 30, and so bid Atlante.] i. e. Atalanta : our printers were
not at this date very careful in the orthography of proper name^.
Page 59, line 18, some shallow-brayned censurers.] The principal an-
tagonists of the stage, prior tu the year in which Nash's tract was published,
were John Northbrooke, who wrote about 1577> Stephen Gosaon, 1579,
Philip Stubbes, 1583, and William Rankins, 1587. Stephen Gossou's
*' School of Abuse," first printed in 1579, and afterwards reprinted in 1587>
is one of the publications of the Shakespeare Society.
Page 59, line 20, the idlest time of the day.] The first edition of
** Pierce Penniless has ** eldest time of the day ;" the correction was made
in the second impression in the same year.
Page 59, line 24, how vertuously it skUU not.] i. e. it does not signify ;
this idiomatic expression was in very common use.
Page 60, line 5, How would it have joy'd brave Talbot.] The paragraph
thus commencing is supposed to refer to a lost play upon which Shakespeare
founded his " Henry VI." part i . and not to Shakespeare's alteration and
improvement of it. See Collier's Shakespeare, ** Introduction" to " Henry
VI." part i. vol. v. p. 5.
Page 60, line 12, anie collian,'\ Usually spelt cullian ; but Nash's mode
comes nearer the supposed etymology of the word, viz., the Italian coglione,
a scoundrel.
Page 60, line 13, no imroortalitie can be given a man on earth like unto
playes.] Upon this point we may quote the following from B. Rich's
" Fruites of Long Experience," 1604, 4to. " But I cannot altogether
blame the carelesnesse of the world, in that it is become so sparing of good
indevours, when there is neither reward for well doing, nor recompence for
good desert; nor so much as a memorandum for the most honourable enter-
prise, how worthily soever performed, unless, perhaps, a little commenda-
tion in a ballad ; or, if a man be favoured by a play-maker, he may some-
times be canonized on a stage."
Page 60, line 22, what a glorious thing it is to have Henry the Fifth re-
presented on the stage.] This passage also refers to an old historical play
on the reign of Henry V., which, in all probability, preceded that by
Shakespeare. See the Introduction.
Page 60, line 32, a merriment of the usurer and the devill.] '* A merri-
ment *' was the name for a species of ludicrous dramatic entertainment, in
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NOTES. 105
which the clown or jester was principally concerned. Tarlton had his" mer-
riments," and Kemp, who followed him in the same line of parts, also exhi-
bited in that kind of performance.
Page 61, line 11, the circumstances of this play and that play.] It is to
be regretted that Nash did not give us a few more particulars, and some of
the names of the plays containing these instructive lessons. It would have
afforded a curious addition to our early stage history. Stephen Gosson, in
his '< Schoole of Abuse'' (already reprinted by the Shakespeare Society),
enters into a few details on the subject, but they are meagre and scanty, as
he seems to have apprehended that the persons he was addressing were so
well acquainted with the matter, that it was needless to do much more than
to refer generally to some of the principal dramatic productions of his day.
Page 61, line 14, Whereas some petitioners to the Counsaile.] The au-
thor here seems to refer to a particular remonstrance against plays and
players, addressed by the citizens of London to the privy council. None
such of this date has come down to us, but it will be seen, by reference to
the " Hist, of Engl. Dram. Poetry and the Stage," vol. i., that about
this time there had been some correspondence between Lord Burghley and
the Lord Mayor of London on the subject of dramatic performances in and
near the metropolis, and an attempt had been made to put down several of
the companies acting under the names of different noblemen.
Page 62, line 21, common curtezans to play women's parts.] It is well
known that in England no women acted upon our public stage until about
sixty years after Nash wrote. It was made a charge by the Puritans
against the players, until after the Restoration, that boys, disguised as wo-
men, performed the female characters at the different theatres.
Page 62, line 31, famous Ned Allen.] Edward AUeyn, the founder of
Dulwich College. See this passage, and another from the same tract,
quoted in the " Memoirs of Edward AUeyn," (printed for the Shakespeare
Society) p. 7.
Page 63, line 9, if I ever write any thing in Latine.] We have no in-
formation that Nash carried this design into execution. If he ever did
give the characters and habits of Tarlton, AUeyn, KneU, Bentley, or any
other famous performers of his time, it has not reached ours ; but, probably,
like T. Hey wood's promised "Lives of the Poets," it has utterly pe-
rished.
Page 65> line 6, our lord wiU cun thee little thank for it.] This idiomatic
expression occurs in Shakespeare's " AU's Well that Ends Well," act iv.
sc. 3, and in *' Timon of Athens," act iv. sc. 3, &c. To cun, or, properly,
to con, is to know; and the French have an equivalent expression in
their savoir gre.
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106 NOTES.
Page 67> line 9, Penie, beleeue me thou sfary vest me Terie neere.] Why
the Devil, alias the Knight of the Post, here and afterwards addresses Nash
by the name of " Persia," we cannot decisively say ; probably it was only
tile mode in which the fiend thought fit to pronounce '* Pierce;" To
'* shrive" a person was to confess them.
Page 69, line 5, The beare on a time, &c.] This elaborate apologue was
of course much more intelligible and poiuted at the date when it was pub-
lished than at present. It had, no doubt, an individual and personal ap-
plication. As Nash says in his letter to Jeffes, p. xv., he was not a man to
pen an apologue in vain. It may be suspected, perhaps, that the bear was
the Earl of Leicester.
Page 69, line 30, the nimble citizens of the wood.] Thomas Lodge, in
bis " Rosalynde," 1590, calls deer "The citizens of the wood,'* and
Shakespeare, in " As You Like [t," founded upon Lodge's '' Rosalynde,*'
terms them " native burghers of this desert city " (actlL sc 1).
Page 76, line 27, covered the land of Egipt with this monstrous en-
crease.] There is great confusion in the printing of this long sentence in
the original edition, where a full stop is wrongly placed after the words
*' Nature of itselfe can effect." The second edition reprints the passage
exactly as it stands in the first.
Page 78, line 11, The second kind of divels.] This paragraph Malone
quotes in illustration of the following passage in *' Macbeth," act i. sc. 5.
'^ Come, come, you spirits
That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here ;
And fill me, from the crown to the toe, top-full
Of direst cruelty," &c.
Malone observes that Shakespeare, very possibly, in this instance may have
resorted to Nash's very popular pamphlet of " Pierce Penniless his Suppli-
cation to the Devil."
Page 82, line 15, 1 raught his head from his body.] i. e. I reft his head
from his body. So in Shakespeare's " Henry VI.," part ii. act ii. sc. 3.
'* two pulls at once —
His lady banish'd, and a limb lopp'd off;
This staff of honour raught"
Page 86, line 18, Tuque juvande viam.] We print thb line, and most
other quotations, as in the original edition, but of course it is given erro-
neously. In the second edition, the Tuque invade viam of Virgil is even more
corruptly printed. Tuque ju vande viam, &c. As Nash's quotations are by
no means uncommon, the reader will be easily able to correct them boih
here and elsewhere.
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NOTES. 107
Page 879 lii^e ^9 certain letters to diveni orators and poets.] To these
letters Nash refers in his " private epistle " to the printer of the second
edition of " Pierce Penniless/' to which edition, as he informs us> he had
intended to append them.
Page 87^ line 18, a scurvie peddling poet to plucke a man by the sleeve
at every third step in Paules Churchyard.] It is to be borne in mind, that
St. Paul's Church-yard was at this date the great mart for new publica-
tions. It subsequently changed its locality a httle, for Paternoster Row,
bat now it is dispersed over nearly all parts of the town.
Page 88, line 6, for silver game in Finsburie Fields.] Finsbury Fields
were at this period the usual resort of the citizens of Tiondon and others to
practice shooting with the bow. See Thoms's edition uf Stow's " Survey
of London/' p. 159, &c.
Page 89, liue 14, to be more considerate in their dedications.] This
passage proves (and many others could be produced to the same effect) that
authors of old obtained money by dedicating their works to the rich and
powerful The truth of what follows was no doubt often established.
Page 90, line 10, We want an Aretine here among us.] Nash was
termed, by some of his contemporaries and followers, ''our English
Aretine."
Page 90, line 25, the true Diana.] Of course Queen Elizabeth, to whom
Nash has before referred (p. 64) under the same name.
Page 91, line 25, none but thou, most courteous Amyntas, bee the se-
cond musical argument of the Knight of the Red-crosse.] It is not easy to
decide whom Nash here and before means by ''Amyntas." Watson had
given that name to Sir F. Walsingham, but he had died in 1590; and
Nash's " Amyntas " was obviously living, and pointed out as a fit person
to be Spenser's second hero. It is to be observed, that in the second edition
of " Pierce Penniless " Amintas is called the " mystical," and not the
" musical argument," &c., as in the first edition. Malone (Shakespeare by
Boswell, ii. 267) contends that Nash by Amyntas meant Ferdinando Earl of
Derby. Possibly the Earl of Southampton, to whom Nash dedicates seve-
ral tracts, was the nobleman intended.
Page 91, line 30, which insueth the conclusion of thy famous Fairie
Queene.] This passage of course refers to the sonnets to various nobility,
printed at the end of the first three books of the '< Fairy Queen," 4to. 1590.
There is a peculiarity in one copy of this volume, now before us, which
deserves notice, because it may show that the addition of some of the son-
nets was an afterthought. The last page of the main poem is 589. On 591
begins the author's letter to Raleigh : then follow commendatory poems,
beginning on p. 596 and ending on p. 600. So far, we apprehend, is com-
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108 NOTES.
mon to all copies of the edition in 1590. Pages 601, 602^ 603, and €04,
are occupied by soouets to Sir Christ. Hatton, the Earl of Essex, the Earl
of Oxford, the Earl of Northumberland, the Earl of Ormond, Lord Ch.
Howard, Lord Grey of Wilton, and Sir W. Raleigh. Then, we have eight
unnumbered pages^ containing repetitions, in the following order, of the
sonnets to Hatton, Oxford, Northumberland, Essex, Ormond, Howard, and
Grey of Wilton, but including likewise sonnets to Ilord Burghley, the Earl
of Cumberland, Lord Hunsdon, Lord Buckhurst^ Sir F. Walsinghaoi, Sir
John Norris, and the Countess of Pembroke. These unnumbered pages
are followed by a leaf numbered 605 and 606, with sonnets to Lady Carew
and to the ladies of the court on p. 605, and " Faults escaped in the
Print " on p. 606. We have been thus particular, in order that Individ uaU
possessing copies of " The Faery Queene," 1590, may be able to ascertain
whether they agree with that we have described, because the circumstances
we have pointed out may not, in fact, be so peculiar as we imagine.
Page 92, line 17, That when their play is doone doe fall to ryme.] This
simile does not seem very appropriate, because the rhimes with which the
quaint comedians of Nash's time entertained audiences after the play was
over, were what were called y^«, or merely ridiculous compositions intended
to create laughter, and generally performed by the clown of the company
with the aid of a pipe and tabor. See ** Hist, of Engl. Dram. Poetry and
the Stage," p. 376, 378, for some account of these exhibitions. Tarlton,
so highly applauded by Nash in his '* Pierce Penniless," was a most cele-
brated performer of jigs, and some of those he delivered at the Theatre are
still extant in MS. In the Bridgewater Catalogue, p. 300, is a woodcut
of Tarlton, playing upon his pipe and tabor.
THE END.
LONDON :
F. SHOBBRL, JOH., 61, RUPERT BTREBT, BATMARXET,
PRINTER TO U. R. H. PRINCE ALBERT.
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FOOLS AND JESTERS:
WITH A
REPRINT OF ROBERT ARMIN'S
NEST OF NINNIES.
1608.
WITH AN INTRODUCTION AND NOTES.
LONDON:
PRINTED FOR THE SHAKESPEARE SOCIETrY.
1842.
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LONDON :
r. SBOBBRL, JDN., 51, llUPBRT 8TRBBT, BA7MARB.BT,
PRINTER TO B. R. H. PRINCE ALBERT.
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COUNCIL
THE SHAKESPEARE SOCIETY.
THE MOST NOBLE THE MARQUESS OF NORMANBY.
RT. HON. LORD BRATBROORE, F.S.A.
RT. HON. LORD F. EGERTON, M.P.
RT. HON. THE EARL OF GLENGALL.
RT. HON. EARL HOWE.
RT. HON. LORD LEIGH.
RT. HON. THE EARL OF POWIS,
AMTOT, THOMAS, ESQ., F.R.S., TREAS. S. A.
AYRTON, WILLIAM, ESQ., F.R.S., F.S.A.
BOTFIELD, BERIAH, ESQ., M.P.
BRUCE, JOHN, ESQ., F.S.A.
COLLIER, J. PAYNE, ESQ., F.S.A., DIRECTOR.
CRAIK, GEORGE L., ESQ.
CUNNINGHAM, PETER, ESQ., TREASURER.
DYCE, REV. ALEXANDER.
FIELD, BARRON, ESQ.
HALLAM, HENRY, ESQ., F.R.S., V.P.S.A.
HALLIWELL, J. O., ESQ., F.R.S. F.S.A.
HARNESS, REV. WILLIAM.
MACREADY, WILLIAM C, ESQ.
MILMAN, REV. HENRY HART.
OXENFORD, JOHN, ESQ.
PETTIGREW, T. J., ESQ., F.R.S., F.S.A.
PLANCHB, J. R., ESQ., F.S.A.
THOMS, WILLIAM J., ESQ., F.S.A.
TOMLINS, F. GUEST, ESQ., SECRETARY.
WATSON, SIR FREDERICK BEILBY, K.C.H., F.R.S.
WRIGHT, THOMAS, ESQ., M.A., F.S.A.
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INTRODUCTION.
It would be singular that a man of so much, and of
such peculiar, learning as the late Mr. Douce, in his
^* Dissertation upon Clowns and Fools," should not even
refer to the ensuing tract, did we not know that only a
single copy of it (as far as has been ascertained by the
most diligent inquiries during the last thirty or forty
years) exists in any public or private collection. Were
it, therefore, of less value than it really possesses, as a
curious picture of manners, towards the end of the reign
of Elizabeth, and in the beginning of that of James I.,
we should be disposed to reprint it, in order to place it
beyond the possibility of destruction. The original is
preserved in the Bodleian Library, the statutes of
which, we believe, forbid fire within the precincts of
the edifice ; and the unceasing and almost afiectionate
care of the Rev. Dr. Bandinel and his curators inspires
every confidence as to the security of the matchless stores
in their custody : still we are unwilling that any volume
of this description, of which no other exemplar is known,
should be exposed to the slightest risk of loss, however
remote or improbable. We mention this as an addi-
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VI INTRODUCTION.
tional inducement with as for the repuhlication of a relic
of much interest and merit, not only unique in itself,
hut unprecedented in its kind. The tract is the only one
in our language that treats distinctly of such a subject,
and of such persons, as the domestic fools and jesters of
a period when they began to receiye less encouragement
than they had experienced in times of greater ignorance
and barbarism.
r^ The entertainment of this class of persons in private
families seems to have originated mainly in two causes :
one of these was, that the care and custody of idiots
was of old assigned to individuals as a source of emolu-
ment, the latter having the control and management of
the estates of the former : auother cause was, perhaps,
the natural weakness of our nature, which, when any
species of learning was a rare acquisition, and when in-
tellectual abilities were less prized and cultivated, sought
to place itself in contrast with those who would show
off to advantage even the smallest acquirements, and
the most moderate talents. This consideration will
account for the ancient familiarity of great men, even
of kings and princes, with their fools or jesters, and for
the introduction of them at their tables, on the most
solemn, as well as on the most festiv.e occasions. It has
been ascertained, and requires no proof here, that such
vras the case of old, not merely in England, but in most
other countries of Europe. V
It is not our intention at present to pursue this in-
quiry farther, but merely to observe that the fools, to
whose propensities and adventures the following pages
chiefly relate, belonged to the class usually entertained
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INTRODUCTION. Vll
in the houses of the nobility and gentry. There can be
no doubt that the dramatic clowns and fools, such as
they are represented in the plays of Shakespeare and
his contemporaries, originated in this practice ; although
they came down to the poets of the end of the sixteenth
and of the beginning of the seventeenth century, through
the medium of the personage who is known as the Vice
of the old Moralities: he was employed in them,
sometimes by his affected stolidity, and at others by his
low cunning, to amuse the spectators, and to relieve
their minds from the weight of the more serious per*
tions of the performance. In this point of view, all that
relates to the history of the domestic fool cannot fail to
be interesting to the student of our early dramatic
literature. " It may be objected (says Heywood, in his
* General History of Women,' 1624) why, amongst sad
and grave histories, I have here and there inserted
fabulous tales and jests, savouring of lightness. — I
answer, I have therein imitated our historical and
comical poets that write to the stage ; who, lest the
auditory should be duUed with serious courses, which
are merely weighty and material, in every act present
some zany, with his mimic action, to breed in the less
capable mirth and laughter : for they that write to all
must strive to please all."
Many of the anecdotes or incidents in the following
pages will strike all readers as merely puerile and ab-
surd; and they will be disposed to wonder how our
ancestors could find entertainment in displays of folly
and weakness, by which they themselves were not un-
frequently sufierers. We must throw our imaginations
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Vlli INTRODUCTION.
back two or three centuries, into the state^of society
then prevailing in this country, or we shall be dis-
posed to think, that those who laughed at and re-
lished such scenes were little less far gone in fatuity
than the principal agent in them. To the readers of
the day when the work was written it must have been
extremely welcome ; and the author, no doubt truly,
professes to have been an eye-witness of some of the
circumstances he narrates. Thus, it seems extremely
probable that he himself saw the remarkable scenes he
describes at Edinburgh, in which King James and his
fool were concerned ; and, as he was a member of the
company to which Shakespeare belonged, we may spe-
culate that he visited the Scottish metropolis in his
professional capacity, and associated with our great
dramatist. We have no direct evidence to establish
that Shakespeare was ever beyond the Tweed, but it is
! certain that some members of the company of actors to
I which he belonged were at one time as far north as
; Aberdeen; and that Laurence Fletcher, whose name
stands first in the patent or licence, granted by James I.
early in 1605, was complimented at Aberdeen by the
freedom of the city.
It is enough to make us take a strong interest about
Robert Armin, to know that he was one of the original
performers in Shakespeare's plays, and that his name is in-
serted in the list of actors which follows the dedication by
Heminge and Condell of the folio of 1 62 S. Of the nature
of the characters he sustained we have no precise informa-
tion ; but, in the preliminary matter to one of his produc-
tions (" The Italian TaUor and his Boy," 4to., 1609), he
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INTRODUCTION. IX
quotes a part of the language of Dogberry, telling his pa-
tron and patroness, Lord and Lady Haddington, that he
had been ^^ writ down an ass in his time," as if quoting
from one of his known parts. However, it seems certain
that Kenap and Cowley were the original Dogberry and
Verges of " Much Ado about Nothing," for both in the
4to and in the folio their names, instead of the names of
the characters, are inserted at the head of the scenes in
which the constable and his companion appear.^
• We may take this opportunity of correcting Mr. Knight on a
point regarding which he has fallen into an error both in his " Pic-
torial" and in his " Library Shakspere/' from not haying consulted
the earlier editions of the plays. *' There is/' he obsenres, " a remark-
able peculiarity in the text of the folio, which indicates very clearly
that it was printed from a playhoose copy * * * In the third act,
when the two inimitable guardians of the night first descend upon the
solid earth in Messina, to move mortals for ever after with uneztin-
guishable laughter, they speak to us in their well-known names of Dog-
berry and Verges ; but in the fourth we find the names of mere human
actors prefixed to what they say : Dogberry becomes Kempe, and
Verges Cowley. Here, then, we have a piece of the prompter's
book before us." Mr. Knight's inference fails him, because what he
notices as " a remarkable peculiarity" in the folio of 1623,
derived from " the prompter's book," is common both to the folio
of 1623 and to the 4to of 1600. The folio of 1623 was, in fact,
printed precisely from the 4to of 1600, with the names of Kemp and
Cowley instead of those of Dogberry and Verges. Mr. Knight would,
of course, not have committed this mistake had he i:esorted to a copy
of the 4to 1600. He adds, that Heminge and Condell permitted the
names of Kemp and Cowley to remain as they found them in the
prompter's book '' as a historical tribute to the memory of their fel-
lows." If there were any tribute to Kemp and Cowley, it was paid by
Valentine Simmes, the printer of the 4to 1600, who perpetuated a
blunder he found in the manuscript from which " Much Ado about
Nothing" was composed by the men in his employ.
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X INTRODUCTION.
We have reason to know that, not long after the pub-
lication of " Much Ado about Nothing," Kemp left the
company of the king's players, and joined those of Prince
Henry (a point to which we shall presently more dis-
tinctly advert) ; and possibly Armin succeeded to some
of the comic parts, which Kemp had previously repre-
sented. Moreover, it appears that Armin was at first
instructed in the quality of a player by the celebrated
Richard Tarlton, who was most famous as, what we now
call, a low comedian, though at least one authority may
be quoted to shew that he was also a distinguished tragic
performer.^ In an epigram inserted by John Davies of
Hereford in his " Scourge of Folly," Armin is termed
" honest gameson Armin ;" and, on the whole, we may
^ We allude to Stradliag's Epigram^ published in his " Epigram-
matum libri Quatuor/' Londini, 1607. 12mo.
Rich. Tarltono, Comcedorum Principi.
" Cujus, viator, sit sepulchrum hoc scire vis,
Inscriptionem non habens ?
Asta, gradumque siste paulisper tuum ;
Incognitum nomen scies.
Princeps Comcedorum tulit quos Anglise
Tellus, in hoc busto cubat.
Quo mortuo, spretse silent comedioe,
Tragediseque turbidse.
Scenoe decus desiderant mutae suum,
Risusque abest Sardonius.
Hie Roscius Britannicus sepultus est.
Quo notior nemo fuit.
Abi, viator : Sin te adhuc nomen latet,
Edicet hoc quivis puer."
This epigram is quoted at length in *' The Archaeologist," No. I.
p. 27, and, we thinks elsewhere.
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INTRODUCTION. XI
conclude that the line of characters he usually filled was
of a humorous and ludicrous description.
We have mentioned that he was a pupil of Tarlton.
This fact we have upon {he~^dence of the volume of
Jests published in the name of that comic performer, of
which the earliest known edition bears date in 1611 : it
was again printed in 1 638 — at least, a copy with that date
is among Malone's books at Oxford ; but how often it
had been reprinted in the interval between 1611 and 1 638
it is impossible to decide. Neither could the edition of
1611 have been by any means the first ; for Tarlton died
in 1588, and three-and-twenty years could not have been
allowed to elapse before such a collection of stories,
relating to so popular an actor, was put to press. At
what date Armin received instructions from Tarlton
we have no information ; but Armin was then an
apprentice, and therefore certainly quite young. The i
story is this : — that Armin, being apprenticed to a gold-
smith, was sent to an inn in Gracechurch Street to re-
ceive payment for a bill: there he met with Tarlton, who
took a fancy to him, induced him to quit his trade, and
to take to the stage as a means of obtaining a livelihood.
In order to qualify Armin for the profession, Tarlton
took him for some time under his own tuition ; — that is
to say, in all probability, he engaged Armin S3 his boy —
for nearly all the principal actors of that day and after-
wards had boys under them, whom they taught to play,
and who, when properly qualified, and until their beards
grew, usually sustained female characters.
We must suppose Armin to have been not less than
fourteen or fifteen years old, when he became acquainted-
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XU INTRODUCTION.
with Tarlton ; and, as he appeared in print as early as
I59O9 we can scarcely imagine that he took to the stage
later than about 1580. It is singular to see the name of
an actor in connection with a work entitled, ^^ A brief Re-
solution of the right Religion :" such, howeyer, is the
fact ; but all that Annin did was to write a preliminary
prose address in commendation of the work, and, possi-
bly, the author was induced to solicit his name in con-
sequence of its popularity.*^
It is generally believed that Tarlton principally exhi-
bited at the Curtain in Shoreditch ; but that theatre was
not built until about 1575, and he was certainly an ap-
plauded actor before that date. He was the author of
a ballad printed in 1570, and must have put his name
to it, not from any vanity of authorship on account of
the merit of the production itself, but because it was
thought that it would give it a considerable sale : it was
upon the floods in Bedfordshire and Lincolnshire, in the
year we have mentioned, and it may be found printed
from the original broadside in the first publication issued
by the Percy Society.* After the death of Tarlton,
Armin perhaps took some of his master's parts, and lent
his name in a manner somewhat similar.
c The title-page runs thus : " A Briefe resolution of the right
Religion, touching the controversies that are now in England.
Written by C. S. London. Printed by Roger Ward for John Proc-
tor, &c. 1590. 8vo.'' Armin's contribution to this work does
not contain a syllable about himself.
^ It is called " A very lamentable and wofull Disconrs of the
fierce Fluds, which lately flowed in Bedford shire, in Lincoln shire,
and in many other places, with the great losses of sheep and other
cattel, the 5 of October, 1570."
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INTRODUCTION. xill
About this date, or a little afterwards, Armin must
have been a writer of some celebrity, for Thomas Nash,
in his " Strange News," 1592, mentions him in com-
pany with Thomas Deloney, Philip Stubbs, &c., as one
of the progeny of " their father Elderton," the notorious
ballad-maker. Nash associated Stubbs with them for
the purpose of derogating from his reputation as the
author of " The Anatomy of Abuses," which, haying
been first published in 1583, went through several edi-
tions before 1592. Nothing by Armin, or attributed to
him, of this date has survived. All evidence tends to shew
that by far the greater part of the ephemeral literature
of that period has perished. It was not usually in a
form calculated for preservation; and, even where it
assumed a more respectable and permanent shape, as in
the tract hereafter reprinted, it was so handed about
from one reader to another, and so carelessly and unce-
remoniously treated by all readers, that it is almost a
wonder that a single copy has descended to us. Such
prolific penmen as Elderton, Deloney, Johnson, and
others, would smile if they could see the eagerness with
which their productions are now purchased, and the
chariness with which they are treasured in the portfolios
of our curious collectors, who have often given more
pounds for a copy of a ballad, than the writer of it re-
ceived pence for composing it.
We hear nothing more of Armin, either as author or
actor, until we find his name among the company licensed
by James I. when he came to the throne, and thereafter
called " the King's Majesty's Players." If any thing
be to be inferred from the fact, it may be noticed that
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XIV INTRODUCTION.
his name stands last bnt one in the list of nine players,
including Lawrence Fletcher and Shakespeare, who are
at the head of the company.^
Nevertheless, a circumstance occurred in the next
year which may lead us to believe that Armin was then
in considerable favour with the public. At this date he
must have been upon the stage more than twenty years ;
but, as before remarked, the retirement of Kemp from
the company might again give Armin a temporary pro-
minence as the successor to such parts as Dogberry,
Peter, Launcelot, or Touchstone. Had Kemp not re-
tired previous to the 17th of May, 1603, it is strange,
considering his eminence in the profession, that his name
should not have been mentioned in the patent ; but we
have positive testimony in Henslowe's Diary that he had
withdrawn, and had enlisted himself in the rival asso-
ciation led by Edward Alleyn — the Players of Prince
Henry. There are numerous entries relating to Kemp,
and to dresses furnished to him for his different charac-
ters, and to money advanced to him in the spring, sum-
mer, and autumn of 160S; the earliatt bears date on
the 10th March of that year, when Henslowe lent Wil-
liam Kemp twenty shillings ; another comparatively small
sum was advanced to him on the S2nd August, 1602,
ajid a third entry of a loan is found under the date of
the 3rd of September following. This fact is a novelty
in the life of this performer, and the Rev. Mr. Dyce was
not acquainted with it, when he drew up the excellent
memoir which precedes the reprint, under the sanction
of the Camden Society, of " Kemp's Nine Days' Won-
der," 4to 1600. Neither is it of small importance with
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INTRODUCTION. XT
reference to some-of Shakespeare's dramas; for, if Kemp
ceased to belong to the King's Players, he could not
have been the performer of parts assigned to him in
pieces which were produced after he quitted the com-
pany. We may take this opportunity of mentioning, as
an incidental circumstance, that Kemp was still alive,
and still acting, in 1605. We afterwards hear no more
of him, and possibly he died of the plague, which pre-
vailed to a fearful extent in that year.
Our reason for thinking that Armin was a popular
actor in 1604 is, that, in that year, he wrote an intro-
ductory epistle to a small tract penned by Gilbert Dug-
dale (whom Armin terms " his kinsman," and who was
the author of a pageant on the coronation of James I.),
under the following title : ^^ A true Discourse of the
Practises of Elizabeth Caldwell, Ma. Jefirey Bownd,
Isabell Hall widdow, and George Femeby, on the parson
of Ma. Thomas Caldwell, in the County of Chester, to
haue murdered and poysoned him with divers others,
&c. At London, printed by James Roberts for John
Busbie, &c. 16A4." 4to. Armin's epistle comes im-
mediately after the title-page, and as it relates mainly
to himself, and as the tract in which it is found is of rare
occurrence, we subjoin it.
" To the right honourable and his singular good Lady, the Lady
Mary Chandoia,
" R. A. wisheth health and everlasting happinesse.
*^ My honourable and very good Lady* considering my duty to
your kind Ladyship, and remembring the vertues of your prepared
minde, I could doe noe lesse but dedicate this strange worke to your
view, being both matter of moment and truth. And to the whole
world it may seem strange that a gentlewoman so well brought vp
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XYl INTRODUCTION.
in God's feare, so well married, so vertuous evei^ so suddenly wrought
to this act of murder ; that when your Ladiship doth read as well
the Letter as the Booke of her owne indighting, you will the more
wonder that her vertnes coulde so aptly tast the follies of vice and
villanie. But so it was ; and« for the hetter proofe that it was so,
I haue placed my kinsman's name to \t, who was present at all her
troubles, at her comming to prison, her heeing in prison, and her
going out of prison to execution. That, those Gentlemen to whom he
dedicates his worke witnessed, may also he pertakers in that kind,
for the proofe thereof, that your Ladiship and the world, so satisfied,
may admire the deede, and hold it as strange as it is true.
<• We have many giddie-pated poets, that coulde have published
the report with more eloquence ; but truth, in plaine attire, is the
easier knowne : let fizion maske in Kendall greene. It is my qualitie
to add to the truth, truth, and not leasings to lyes.
" Your good honor knowes Pinch* s poor heart, who, in all my ser-
vices to your late deceased kind lord, neuer sauoured of flatterie or
fixion : and, therefore, am now the bolder to present to your vertues
the view of this late truth, desiring you to so think of it that yon
may be an honourable mourner at these obsequies, and you shall no
more doe than manie more haue doone. So with my tendered
dutie, my true ensuing storie, and my euer wishing well, I do hum-
bly commit your Ladiship to the prison of heauen, wherein is perfect
freedome.
'* Your Ladiships euer
" In duty and semice,
" RoBXRT Armin."
How Annin acquired the nickname of Pink, and in
what capacity he had been in the service of the husband
of the lady he addresses, we are left to conjecture : it
is very likely that Lord Chandos, like many other noble-
men, had at one time a company of theatrical re-
tainers in his pay and under his patronage, and that
Armin had been one of them.
His next work, at least the next regarding which we
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INTRODUCTION. XVll
have any information, was that now presented to the
members of the Shakespeare Society. On the personal
matter it contains, it is, therefore, unnecessary to dwell.
We may observe that it is not mentioned in "The
Bibliographer's Manual," by Lowndes, and that the only
catalogue of books in which we have seen it included
is that of Malone at Oxford, where, as already stated,
the sole remaining copy is deposited. From it our
transcript has been made. The tract was evidently
hastily and carelessly printed for a bookseller who puh-
lished many humorous works, and the errors of the
press, especially in the later sheets, are numerous, and
in some places not easy of correction.
We apprehend that Armin was, at this date, strug-
gling with poverty, and that he wrote " The Nest" of
Ninnies" mainly to supply his necessities. Such was
certainly the case with his next production, which came
out in the following year, 1609. It was called "The
Italian Taylor and his Boy," and is a translation, in
verse, of novel 5, night viii. of the Notti Piacevoli of
Straparola. Armin acknowledges it to be from the
Italian, though he does not add the name of his author.
On the title-page he still states himself to be " Servant
to the king's most excellent Majesty ;" and n# doubt he
yet belonged to the company, though an actor of, per-
haps, thirty years' standing. In the preliminary matter he
more than once confesses his poverty, and that he wrote
the tract in hopes of raising money : we may therefore
presume that he had, at this date, but a very small, or
perhaps no share as proprietor in the Globe and Black-
friars theatres, for which Shakespeare was writing in
b
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XVlll INTRODUCTION.
the pleuitude of his popularity, and which must then
have been profitable undertakings.
In his address Ad lectorem hie et uhique, before
" The Italian Taylor and his Boy," Amain speaks of his
" Nest of Ninnies," which had been printed in the year
preceding ; and the dedication to Lord and Lady Had-
dington contains the following interesting mention of a
poet of considerable celebrity, who had been the early
friend of Spenser, to whom Chapman dedicated his
" Shadow of Night," in 1594, who was living in retire-
ment in 1609, and who was in such distress, not many
years afterwards, that he was glad to accept from
Edward AUeyn, the founder of Dulwieh College, very
trifling charitable donations.
" There is (says Armin to Lady Haddington) under the^glister of
your starre a poetical light, which shines not in the world'^aa) it is
wisht, but yet the worth of its lustre is known : he hath reroayned in
Sussex many yeares ; and I beseech God and your noble Father (the
Earle) he may live and die beloved so still. It is (if I speake darkely)
that pen-pleading poet (graue] for yeares and knowledge) Maister
Mathew Roiden : I doe stand to his censure, to second yours both ;
and I doubt not but he will plead for my weaknes in!. this worke,
knowing that Non cuivis homini contingit adire Cormthum,**
The Earl of Fitzwalter, the father of Lady Haddington,
did not die until 1629 ; but, some years before that
event, Matthew Roiden, or Roydon, must hare been re-
duced to extreme want : he was relieved by AUeyn in
1618 by the gift of eightpence, and in 1622 he made
another appeal to his charity, "and "obtained sixpence.
(See "Memoirs of Alleyn," p. 165.)
In the same year that " The Italian Taylor and his
Boy" came out, Armin printed a dramatic piece, with
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INTRODUCTION. XIX
the title of " The History of theTTwo Maids of More
Clacke, with the Life and simple manners of John in
the Hospital." It purports to have been acted by the
Children of the King's Revels, although Armin, as the
title-page asserts, was " Servant to the King's most
excellent Majesty." Whether he was alive in 1 61 5 does
not appear, but in that year was published another play
called " The Valiant Welchman," the plot of which the
Editor of the Biographia Dramatica gravely informs us
was taken from Milton's History of England, which was,
of course, not published until many years afterwards.
The initials " R. A. Gent" only are upon the title-page
of " The Valiant Welshman," and it may be doubted
whether Armin had any concern in the authorship of it.
It was reprinted in 1663.
The following tract will be found to contain the names
of several fools and jesters not elsewhere commemorated.
The most celebrated in the list is William Somer, Som-
mers, or Summers, the favourite of Henry VIII., who
figures in, at least, two plays of the time of Shakespeare
— ^Thomas Nash's " Summers Last Will and Testament,"
acted in 1598, and printed in 1600 ; and Samuel Row-
ley's " When you see me you know me," founded upon
incidents in the life and reign of Henry VIII., acted
about 1604, and printed in 1605. He was a jester of
a different character to the others, inasmuch as he was
an artificial fool — a witty person, afiecting simplicity
for the sake of afibrding amusement. Jesters of this
class were often entertained in families where mere
idiots would not have been tolerated; but they had
their origin in the license allowed to the tongues of
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XX INTRODUCTION.
" innocents," as they were sometimes, for the sake of
distinction, called. William Sommers was a historical
personage, and is so treated by Samuel Rowley in his
play, which is a singular picture of manners, and of the
mode in which, just after the death of Elizabeth, her
father was exhibited at the public theatres. In this
view, " When you see me you know me" may be said
to have a direct relation to the " Henry the Eighth " of
our great dramatist, and may well deserve to be here-
after reprinted by the Shakespeare Society.
We have to thank Mr. Thoms for some very useful
notes, which are distinguished from the rest by his
initials.
J. P. C.
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NEST OF NINNIES
Simply of themselves without
Compound.
SttUtorum plena sunt omnia.
BY ROBERT ARMIN.
LONDON:
Printed by T. E. for lohn Deane. 1608.
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To the most true and rightly compleat in all good gifts and
graces^ the generous gentlemen of Oxenford, Cambridge, and
the Innes of Court. Bo. Armin greeting.
You first borne brothers of the highest skies.
Twins of best Joue by blest Memoria,
From whom our glories and our linings rise ;
Brothers and sonnes to him that brings the day
(Phoebus) whom none can see but by your eyes ;
You only, and you euer I shall pray.
And praysing euer tiiat your sunnie shine
May beautifie our GLOBE in euery line.
But what higher straine am I in, when your selued haue set
my tongue lower?
Most liberall and well affected, I am brazed by your fauours,
made bould in your ostended curtesies, I haue seene you both
wayes, as the hare that squints on either side — ^marry to looke
fore-right I cannot, because judgement out-lookes mee. But
as the philosopher squened at his curst wife in some feare,
because of quiet, so I, fearefull, presume not to look into the
milstone, least I grauell my eye sight. I haue seene the stars
at midnight in your societies, and might have commenst, like
an a^ as I was ; but I lackt liberty in that, yet I was admitted
in Oxford to be of Christs Church, while they of Al-soules
gaue ayme : such as knew me remember my measures. I
promised them to prone mad ; and I thinke I am so, else I
would not meddle with folly so deepely, but simiUs similem,
b2
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&c. If I doe offend^ as I make no question, my pardon is
signed, I doubt not — marry there is an execution yet behinde,
and I long till I passe my plundge, that is censure. They say
he goes in coUours, as one strangely a£Eected, and I goe in
motly, making my own cloakebag ready. If hee proue porter,
and beare with me, I shall rest behoulding ; if not, I am his
martir, and suffer extreamly. I haue, gentlemen, in this booke
gone through Ireland ; if I doe sticke in the bogs, help me
out — not with your good sken e head me ; that's the way to
spoyle alL but with your goad pricke me on the true tract.
And you of our Innes of Court, nimble braind brands that
bume without smoking, I challenge of you neighbourly neere-
. nesse, and therefore dare say sumus in toto. If you should
flie out like rancke riders, or rebell like the Irish, twere much,
because my presumption challenges better being in you. But
since all is one, and one all that's car'd for, singlenesse hath
such regard, I make a question, which if you easily answere I
am satisfEed, otherwise buryed quicke : how euer, my loue
looses not his labour — an universitie fire in the winter, and a
temple pot may warme good licour, in which you may drink
to me, and ile pledge you. I may line to make you amends, if
not no more but this — such a one died in your debt, and thats
* a countertenor many a one sings. Yale, as far vide and vici
let Caesar at his next arriue, so salute you.
Yours euer affected,
Ro. Armin.
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A NEST OF NINNIES.
. The Worlds wanton 3ick^ as one surfeiting on«6mne (in
morning pleasures, noone banquets, after riots, night moris-
coes, midnights modicoms, and abundance uf trash trickt up
to all turbulent reuellings) is now leaning on her elbow, de- '
uising what doctour may deliuer her, what phisicke may free
her, and what antidotes may antissipate so dangerous a do-
lemma : shee now begins to grow bucksome as a lightning
before death ; and, gad, she will — riches, her chamberlaine,
could not keepe her in 5 beauty, her bed-fellow, was bold to
perswade her ;^ and sleepy securitie, mother of all mischiefe —
tut, her prayers was but meere prattle : out she would, tucks
up her trinkets, like a Dutch tannikin sliding to market on the
ise, and away she flings — and whither thinck you?—
Not to the Law, that was too loud —
Not to the Church, that was too proud.
Not to the Court, that was too stately —
Nor to- the Cittie, she was there lately.
Nor to the Campe, that was to keene —
No, nor to the Country, where seldom seene —
shee daines her a friendly eye ; but, of all, into a philosophers
cell, who, because he was alwayes poking at Fortune with his ;
forefinger, the wise wittely namde hipo Sotto, as one besotted
— a grumbling sir ; one that was wise enough, and fond enough,
and solde all for a glasse prospective, because he would wisely
see into all men but himselfe, a fault generall in most ; but
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6 A NEST OF NINNIES.
such was his, who thus busied, was tooke napping by the
weale publike, who smiles upon him with a wapper eye, a
iealous countenance, and bids him all haile ! Mistresse (sayes
Sotto) I will not say welcome, because you come ill to him
that would bee alone ; but^ smce you are come, looke for such
entertainement as my folly fits you mth, that is, sharp sauce
with bitter dyet ; no swetnes at al, for that were to mingle your
pils with sugar : no, I am all one, winter in the head, and
.' frost in the foot ; no sununer in me but my smiles, and that
^^as soone gone as smiles. '- The bauble I play^witbifiJUfia? es-
tates, which I so tumble from hand to hand, that, weary with
it, I see (gluttingly and grieuedly, yet mingled with smiles
too) in my glasse prospectiue what shall become of it* The
World, curling her locks with her fingers^.and imonescratch-
ing her braine with her itching pin, as one little regarding,
answeres. What then ? Marry, sayes Hodge, ile show thee.
See, World, in whose bosome euer hath abundance beene
poured, what thy imps of impiety bee ; for as they (I) all for
the most part, as these which I will present to thee in my
glasse prospectiue : niark them well, and see what thou breed-
est in thy wantonnesse, sixe children like thee, not the &ther
that begat them-^Where were they nursed ? in folly : fed with
the flottin milk^' 0f nicetie and wantonnesse, curdled in thy
wombe of water and bloud, vnseasoned, because thy mother
bearing tempdt was euer vntrue, farre from the rellish of right
breede ; and-it is hard that the taste of one apple should dis-
taste the whple lumpe of this defused chaios. But marke me
and my glasse : see into some (and in them thy selfe) whom I
haue discride, or describde, these sisie parts of folly in lliee ;
thou shalt see them as deare as day, how mistic thy clouds be,
and what rancknesse raines from them.
The World, quearie stomackt, as one fed with tiie earth's
nectar and delicates, with the remembrance of her own appe-'
tite, squinies at this, and lookes as one scorning ; yet beholding
what will follow, at length espies a taU black ejnan. jearing
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A NBST OF NINNtlB8. 7
like himselfe^ a ibole in motiey, muekinder hunge, ener and
anon wipes his nose ; at whose ^rdle httogde a smaU hlaek jack
of a quart, his ysual draft ; his finger on his tongue, as if he
Uatnde Nature that cut not ihe strings of it in more laarge
manner, but hindred by defect, hee stiU did gesse at wisedome,
though seldome attaining it. WefU, he was gouty, bigge, poste
legged, and of yeeres something iBiany> as in the right toqtidl
followeth :—
This foole was tall, his &ice small.
His beard was big and blacke ;
His necke was short, indind to sport.
Was this our dapper Jack.
Of nature curst, yet nol; the worst.
Was nastie, giuen to sweare ;
Toylesome euer, his^ndeauour
Was delight in beare.
Groutie, great, of conceit
Apt, and full of fisiuor ;
Curst, yet kinde, and inclinde
To spare the wise mans labour.
Enowne to many, loude of any,
Cause his trust was truth ;
Scene in toyes, apt to joyes.
To please with tricks of youth ;
Writh'd i'th knees, yet who sees
Faults that hidden be ?
Calfe great, in whose conceit
Lay much game and glee.
Bigge i'th small, ancle all.
Footed broad and bug ;
In motly cotes, goes Jacke Gates,
Of whom I sing this song.
The Woild, ready to disgoige at so homely a present, askt
if it were possible such breathde hers to conmiaunde? Oh,
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8 A NEST OF NINNIES.
saiUi our philoeophicall Hodge, beare his iests, and what an
vDknownehabiteliuesinhim^thenretumeiudgeinent. Marke
our application.
Jack Oates, sitting at cardes all alone, was dealing to him-
selfe at vide ruffe (for that was the game he ioyedin) and as
he spide a knaue — ^Ah, knaue, art there? quoth he. When he
spide a king^— King, by your leaue, quoth he. If hee spied a
queene — Queene Richard art come? quoth he; and would
kneele downe, and bid Ghxl blesse her majestie (meaning, in-
deede, the then queene, whom he heard Sir William HoUis,
bis maister, so much to pray for). But heere is the jest : Jack,
as I say, being at cardes all alone, spying a knaue, and saying.
Ah, knaue, art there ? a simple seruingroan being in the hall,
waighting his maisters comming, walking by, and hearing him
say so, thought he had called him knaue, tooke the matter in
dudgeen, and miscalled the foole. Another seruingman, more
foolish then both, took Jack's part, so that in short time they
two fell together by the eares ; who, being parted. Jack Oates
giues them each one a hand, and so takes them into the buttry
to drinke. The knight comes in : seeing the hall not yet quiet,
askt the matter. Jack comes — He tell thee, Willy, quoth hee.
As I was a playing at cardes, one seeing I wonne all I playd
for, would needes haue the knaue from mee, which, as very a
knaue as hee seeing, would needes beare him knaue for com-
pany I so bid them both welcome to thy house — I haue bin to
intreat the knaue, thy butler, to make them drinke. I, sayes
Sir William ; and you, like a knaue, made them fall out. I,
answered Jack, and your drinke, Sir Knaue, made them friends.
Sir William, laughing, departed.
Newes came to Sir William that such a nobleman was com-
ming to his house : great prouision was made for his welcome ;
and, amongst all. Jack Oates put on his new motly coate, cleane
muckender,andhis new shooes. Much preparation was made,
which were too long to tell $ for. He assure ye, it was one of
the greatest earles in England, vnfit to name here : but the
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A NEST OF NINNIES. 9
knight and his ladie met him at the gate to entertaine him.
Sir William, with a low congy, saluted him ; the good lady, as
is the courtly custom, was kist of this noble man. Jack Oates,
seeing him kisse his ladie, on the sodaine giues the earle a sound
box on the eare. Knaue (quoth he) kisse Sir Willie's wife ?
The good knight, amazed at this, caused him to be whipt. But
the kinde noble man, knowing simplicitie the ground of his
errour, would not suffer it, but, putting it vp, left him, and
entred the house. Jack, seeing they were end, and he had done
amisse, had this wit in simplicitie to shadow it : he comes after
and askt the earle wher his hand was ? Here (quoth he) — with
that he shakes him by it, and sayes, I mistooke it before, know-
ing not your eare from your hand, being so like one cmother.
Jack thought hee had mended the matter ; but now he was
whipt indeede, and had his payment altogether. Thus fooles,
thinking to be wise, become flat foolish : but all is one. Jack
neuer repented him.
At a Christmas time, when great logs furnish the hall fire —
when brawne is in season, and, indeede, all reveling is regarded,
this gallant knight kept open house for all commers, where
beefe, beere, and bread was no niggard. Amongst all the
pleasures prouided, a noyse of minstrells and a Lincolnshire
bagpipe was prepared — the minstrels for the great chamber,
the bagpipe for the hall — the minstrells to serue vp the knights
meate, and the bagpipe for the common dauncing. Jack could
not endure to bee in the common hall ; for, indeede, the foole
was a little proudly minded, and, therefore, Was altogether in
the great chamber, at my ladies or Sir Williams elbow. One
time, being' very melancholy, the knight, to rouse him vp, saide,
Hence, foole ! lie haue another foole ; thou shalt dwell no longer
with me. Jack to this answered little ; though, indeede, ye
could not anger him worse. A gentleman at the boord an*
swers. If it please you, sir, He bring ye another foole soone.
I pray ye do (quoth the knight) and he shall be welcome.
Jack fell a crying, and departed mad and angry down into the
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10 A NBST OF NINNIES.
great hall ; and, being starong armed (as before t described
him), caught the bagpipes from the piper, knockt them aboat
his pate, that he laid the fellow for dead <m the ground^ and,
all broken, carries the pipes vp into the great chamber, and
byes them on ike fire. The knight, knowing by Jack tiiat
something was amisse, sendee downe to see. Newes of this
jest came ; the knight, angry (but to no purpose, for he k>aed
the foole aboue all, and that the household knew, else Ja^ had
paid for it, for the ccxnmon peoples dauncing was sp<nled) sent
downe Jadi, and bad him out of his sight. Jack cries, Hang
Sir Willy, hang Sir Willy, and departes.
Sir William, not knowing how to amend the matter, caused
the piper to be carried to bed, who was very ill, and said, t
would nowgiue a gold noble for a foole: indeede, to anger him
throughly, one of the minstrels whispers a gentleman in the
ears, and said. If it pleased him, hee would ; whoeat the
gentleman laught. The knight demaunded the reason of his
laughing* I pray you teU me (quoth hee)* — for laughing oould
neuer come in a better time — the foole hath madded me. If
it please you (sayes the gentleman), here is a good fellow will
goe and attire him in one of his coates, and can in all poynts
behaue himselfe naturally, like such a one. It is good (sayes
the knight) and I prethee, good fellow, about it $ and one
goe call Jack Oates hether, that wee may hold him with talk
in the meane time.
The simple minstrell, thinking to worke wonders, as one
oueijoyed at the' good opportunitie, threw his fiddle one way,
his stick another, and his case the third way, and was in such
a case of joy, that it was no boot to bid him make hast: but,
proud of the knights fauor, away he flings, as if he went to
tak possession of some great lordship ; but, what ere he got by
it, I am sure his fiddle, with the fall, fell in pieces, which grieued
his maister so, that, in loue and pittie, he laughed till the water
ran downe his cheekes. Beside, this good knight was like to
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keepe a bad Christmas^ for the bagpipes and the musicke went
to wracke-'-the one burnt, and the other broken.
In comes Jack Gates, and (being merry) told the knight and
the rest that acomitry-wench in the hall had eaten garlicke, and
there was seuenteene men poysoned with kissing her : for it
was his vae to jest thus. By and by comes in a messenger (one
of the knights men) to tell him that such a gentleman had sent
his foole to dwell with him, Hee is welcome, sayes the knight,
for I am weaty of this foole : goe bid him come in — Jack, bid
him welcome. They all laught to see Jack's colour come and
goe, like a wise man ready to make a good end. What say
you to this P sales the knight. Not one word sayes Jack. They
tinged with a knife at the bottome of a glasse, as touUing the
bell for the foole, who was speechlesse and would dye (then
which nothing could more anger him) ; but now the thought
of the new come foole so much moued him, that he was as dead
as a doore nayle — standing on tip-toe, looking toward the door
to behold ariuall, that he would put his n<»e out of joint.
By and by enters my artificiall foole in his old cloaths,
making wry mouthes, daimcing, and looking a squint : who,
when Jack beheld, sodainely he flew at him, and so violently
beate him, that aU the table rose, but could scarce get him
off. Well, off he was at length : the knight caused the broken
ones to be by themseluee. My poore minstrell, with a fell,
had his head broke to the skull against the ground, his face
scratcht ; that which was worst of all his left eye put out, and
withall so sore bruised, that he could neyther stand nor goe.
The knight caused him to bee laide with the pjrper, who was
also hurt in the like conflict, who lackt no good looking to,
because they miscarried in the knights seruice : but euer
after Jack Gates could not endure to heare any talke of ano-
ther foole to be there, and the knight durst not make such a
motion. The pyper and the minstrel, being in bed together,
one cryed, O ! his backe and fietce ; the other, G ! his face and
eye : the one cryed G his pype ! the other, O his fiddle ! Good
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mussicke or broken consorts, they agree well together ; but
when they were well, they were contented for their paines :
they had both money and the knights fauour. Here you
haue heard the difference twixt a flat foole naturall, and a
flat foole artificiall ; one that did his kinde, and the other
who foolishly followed his owne minde : on which two is
written this Rime : —
Naturall fooles are prone to selfe conceipt :
Fooles artificiall, with their wits lay wayte
To make themselues fooles, liking the disguise.
To feede their owne mindes, and the gazers eyes.
Hee that attempts daunger, and is free.
Hurting himseUe, being well, cannot see.
Must with the fidler, heere^ weare the fooles coates,
' ^^ And bide his pennance sign'd him by Jack Oates.
All such, say I, that use flat foolerie,
Beare this, beare more ; this flat foole's companie.
Jack Oates could neuer abide the cooke, by reason that he
would scald him out of the kitchen. Upon a time he had a
great charge from his Lady to make her a quince pie of pur-
pose for Sir Williams owne eating, which the cooke en-
deuored to doe, and sent to Lincolne of purpose to the apo-
thecaries for choyse quinces. Jack, being at this charge
giuen, thought to be euen with the cooke, and waited the
time when this Pie was made. It hapned so, the cooke could
get no quinces : my lady (for it was the knight's desire to
haue one) sent about to Boston, and all the chiefe townes, but
all in vaine— the season serued not; but, rather then Sir
William should be vnfumished, sent to Lincolne againe to
buy vp many quinces, ready preserved at pothecaries, which
she had, though with great cost. The knight, asking his
Lady for his pie, she told him with much adoe she had pre-
uailed, but with no little paines, in seeking quinces ; for she
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was fiedne to buy them ready preserued, and to make a vertue
of necessity that way. Sir William, seeing it was so, said it
should bee as well eaten, and sent for his friends, gentlemen
and others of no small account. There was other great
cheare prouided to fiimish vp this sumptuous feast, and as
he inuited them, hee tolde them it was a quince pie, which he
would haue eaten. The day di*ew on, and the gentiles were
come, and all was in a redinesse, and still Jack forgat not
the pie, but stood faintly sicke, and refused his meate : the
knight, sory that his best dish fiiyled him, made no small
account of his well fare, askte him. Jack, sayes hee, where
lyes thy paine ? In my mouth, sayes hee (meaning, indeede,
his mouth hung for the quince pie.) A barber was sent for
from a market towne hard by, who searcht his mouth, and
could finde no cause of paine : but Sir William, thinking the
foole wanted wit to tell his griefe (though not wit to play the
thiefe) had the barber depart, asking Jacke what he would
eate ? he sayd, nothing. What he would drinke ? he sayd,
nothing ; which made Sir William doubt much of his health,
refusing his liquour when it was usually his practice, and the
knight joyed in it too : askit him if he would lie downe ?
still answering no, but would stand by the kitchen fire. The
knight, that never came there but he did some exployte, forget-
ting that, led him by the hand (so much he made of him) and
bad the cooke see he wanted nothing. Jack, standing still,
groan'd and sayd. If he dyed, he would forgive all the world but
the cooke. Hang, foole, (sayes the cooke) I care not for thee :
die to-morrow if thou wilt, and so followed his business.
They knockt to the dresser, and the dinner went up. Jack
had a sheepes eye in the oven : anone the second course came,
the pie was drawne, set by, and among other backt meates
was to be sent up ; but, wanting sugar, stept aside to the
spicerie to fetch it ; and Jack, in the meantime, catcheth the
pie and claps it under liis coate, and so runs through the ha]l
into the yard, where was a broade moate : and, as he ran, the
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14 A NEST OF NINKIES.
hot pie burned his belly. I, sayes Jack, are ye so hot, Sir
Willies pie ? lie quenoe ye anone Sir Willies pie, sayes he ;
and straight, very subtiUy, leapes into the moate up to the
arm-pits,^ and there stood eating the pie. The cooke oooiea
in, misses the pie, withal misses Jack, cryes out. The pie !
Sir Williams pie was g(»ie, tiie author of that feast was gone,
and they all were undone. A hurly burly went tiirough
the house> and one comes and whispers the lady with the
newefli : she tdis Sir WUliam how Jack Oates had stolen the
pie. Jack was searcht for, and anon found in the moate. It
was told the knight where the foole was eating it. Gentle-
men (quoth he) we are disfumished of our feast ; for Jack,
my foole, is in my moate, up to the arme-pits, eating of the
pie. They laught, and ran to the windows to see the jest s
then they might see Jack eate, the cooke call, the people
hallow, but to no purpose. Jadk fed, and, feeding greedily,
(more to anger the cooke, than disapoint Sir William) ever
as he burnt his mouth with hast, dipt the pie in the water to
coole it. O ! sayes the cooke, it is Sir William's owne pie,
sirra, O ! sayes Jack hang thee and Sir Willy too : I care
not i it is nune now. Save Sir William some, sayes one ;
save my lady some, sayes another. By James, not a bit,
sayes] Jack ; and eate up all» to the wonder of the beholders,
who never knew him eate so much before, but drink ten times
more. J^t length out comes Jack dropping dry, and goes to
get fire to dry him : the knight and the rest all laught a good
at the jest : not knowing how to amend it. Sir William sends
for the cooke, who came up with a sorrowful heart, and,
lamentably complaining, said it was the knights £Eiult for
placing him in the kitchen, where he never was but hee did
like villany. The knight, not satisfied with the cookes an-
swere, presently discharges him of his service, and sent him
to live elsewhere. 6oe, sayes he ; trusse up your trinkets
and be gone. The cooke, seeing no remedy, departed.
Jack, beiog dry, up he comes; and, knowing he had offended.
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A NEST OF NINNIES. 15
tels a jest (for it was his maimer so to doe) how a yong man
brake his codpiece pointy and let all be seene tiiat God sent
him> or sach fooleries^ but that was not enough ; and to chide
him was to make of things worse then ^twas, and to no pur-
pose neither. Sir William demaunded why hee eate the pye ?
Because I had a stomacke» sayes Jack. Would nought else
serve, sayes the knight, but my pye? No, Willy, sayes he,
thou would not b^ angiy then, and the cooke had not been
turned away : but all is well — thou art rich enough to buy
more. The knight, perceiving the fooles envie, sent for liie cooke,
and bid him enjoy his plaee againe* So ail parties [were] well
pleased but the yong big-bellied woman, who, perchance, longed
for this long looked for pie ; but if she did, though long lookt
for comes at last, yet they shoote short that ayme to hit this
marke, for Jack Oates had eaten the pie and served himselfe.
This was a flat foole ; yet, now and then, a blind man may hit
a crow, and you know a fooles boult is soone shot : out it goes,
happen how. it will. Had Jack kept his owne counsell, the
cooke had beene still out of service, and [he] had been revenged,'
but now, being in his place agame, may live to cry quittance
for the quince pye.
These, quoth the World, are pretty toyes. I, quoth the phi-
losopher, but marke the applyance. By Jack Oates is morrally
meant many described like him ; though not fooles natural!, yet
most artifidall : they carde hence what their parents spin, and
doe such apish tricks, that rapine, mine, and a thousand inconve-
niences, follow. By the knight is meant maintainers of foolery :
by the hall, the inne where the cards of vanity causeth many
to be bewitcht ; as appears in the serving men, who, busie in
others braules, are as easily made friends, as they were set to-
gether by the ears. By the second is meant [those who] reach
at stars, ayming at honour, lighting sometime on the eare of
memory, but ill taken because badly meant— »is rewarded with a
deserved whipping. By the third is called to question most that
musically fret their time out in idle baubling, and will become
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16 A NEST OF NINNIES.
artificiall fooles to outbraue fooles indeede^ but stick often in
their owne qiuck-eands, and are got out with repentance. But
the fourth and last shews the deuouring of deuoutions dyet :
how euer come by, yet they will stand up to the arme-pits in
daunger rather than to lack their wills, to slacke or rebate the
edge of their appetites. With this the World, a little humde
and haide, said shee was not pleased that such lined, and did
promise some amendment, but desired to see further.
Now our philosophical poker pokte on, and poynted to a
strange shew ; the fat foole^ not so tall, but this &t foole as
low, whose description runs in meeter thus : —
This fat foole was a Scot borne, brought vp
In Sterlin, twenty miles from Edinborough,
^\llo, being but young, was for the king caught vp ;
Ser*ud this king's father all his life time through.
A yard high and a nayle, no more, his stature ;
Smooth fact, fayre spoken, yet vnkinde by nature.
Two yards in compasse and a nayle, I reade^
Was he at forty yeeres, since when I heard not
Nor of his life or death, and further heede,
Since I neuer read, I looke not, nor regard not.
But what at that time lemy Camber was.
As I haue heard He write, and so let passe.
His head was small, his hayre long on the same :
One eare was bigger then the other farre;
His fore-head full, his eyes shinde like a flame,
His nose flat, and his beard small, yet grew square ;
His lips but littie, and his wit was lesse.
But wide of mouth, few teeth, I must confesse.
His middle thicke, as I haue said before ;
Indifierent thighs and knees, but very short ;
His legs be square, a foot long and no more ;
Whose very presence made the king much sport.
And a pearle spoone he still wore in his cap.
To eate his meate he loued, and got by hap.
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A pretty little foote, but a big hand,
On which he ever wore rings rich and good.
Backward well made as any in that land,
Though thicke ; and he did come of gentle bloud :
But of his wisdome ye shall quickly heare
How tiiis fat foole was made on every where.
The World, smiling at this rime, describing so unseemly a
portackt, gaue leave to the rest, and desired greatly to be satis-
fied with something done, as one longing to know what so
round a trust lump could performe. The poking art* s maister
tels his doing thus.
When the kings and nobles of Scotland had welcomed Jemy
Camber to the court, (who was their countryman, borne in
Sterlin, but twenty miles from Edinborough, this kings birth-
towne, as Greenvich was our late queenes) they reasoned
with him to understand his wit, which indeed was just none at
all, yet merry and pleasing, whereat the king rejoiced : and,
seeing he was so fat, caused his doctors and phisitians to mi-
nister to him ; but phisick could not alter nature, and he would
neuer be buta S. Vincent's turnip, thicke and round. Where-
fore the doctors persuaded his grace that the purging of the
sea was good for him. Well, nothing was undone that might be
done to make Jemy Camber a tall, little, slender man, when
yet he lookt like a Norfolke dumpling, thicke and short : well,
to Leith was he sent, which is the harbour towne of such ships
as arrive at Edinborough ; neerer they cannot come, which is
some mile from the cittie. To sea they put in a ship, at whose
departure they discharged ordinance, as one that departed from
the land with the kings fauour : the Earle Huntly was sent
with him to sea to accompany him, so high he was esteemed
with the king, who, hearing the ordinance goe off, would aske
what doe they now ? Marry, says the Earle, they shoot at our
enemies. O, saies hee, hit, I pray God I Againe they dis-
cliarge. What doe they now ? quoth hee. Marry, now the
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18 A NEST OF NINNIES.
enimie shoots at us. O, misse^ I pray God I (sayes Jemy Cam-
ber) . So euer after it was a jest in the Scottish court. Hit or
misse, quoth JeniSf Camber ; that if a maide had a barhe, and
did penance at the crosse, in the high towne of Edinborough,
What hath shee done? did she hit or misse? She hath hit,
sayes the other : better she had mist^ sayes the first ; and so
long time after this jest was in memory — ^yea, I have heard it
myselfe, and some will talke of it at this day. Well, to sea
they put, on a faire, sunshine day, where Jemy stood fearful of
every calme billow, where it was no boote to bid him tell what
the ship was made of, for he did it dououtly. But see the
chance : a sodaine flaw or gust rose ; the winds held strong
east and by west, and the ship was in great danger, insomuch
as the Earle, maister and all, began to feare the weather. By
and by a stronger gale blew, and split their maine-maste, and
gaue their ship a mighty leake, insomuch as the crack made
them all screeck out : which Jemy, hearing, was almost dead
with feare. Some fell to pumping, others oh their knees to
praying ; but the fat foole, seeing themselves in this daunger,
thought there was no way but one with them, and was half
dead with feare : in the end the winde turned, and the raging
of the sea began to cease. I warrant thee now (quoth the
maister) Jemy, wee shall not bee drowned. I, will ye warrant
us ? sayes the foole. I, sayes the maister, He giue thee my
ship for thy chaine^ if we bee drowned : beare witnesse, my
lord, sayes hee, a plaine bargaine ; and with that threw the
maister his chaine, who would have given it to the Earle, but
joy of their escape made him delight in the jest, and therefore
the maister enjoyed his bargaine. With much adoe they at-
tained thether againe, where the king, feareful before, awayted
their landing now ; and, seeing Jemy not a jot lesse of body
then hee was (onely lightened of his chaine) How now ? quoth
hee ; how dost thou, man ? O ! sayes Jemy, well now, king ;
but till had not the maister beene, who warranted our lines for
my chaine, the best bargaine that euer I made, for no way could
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A NEST OF NINNIES. 19
I haue been a looser. How ? sayes the king ? Marry, He tell
thee king, quoth hee : say we had beene drowned, his ship
was forfeit to me for my chaine : Earle Huntley was a witness
to the bargaine ; and now we are not drowned^ for my chaine
did warrant our liues of the maister.^ Nay^ says the earle,
not our liues ; none but yours, Jemy : our liues was as safe
warranted without a chaine. With this the foole had some
feeling of sence, and on a sodaine cryed out mainly for his
chaine, which was restored to him by the maister ; but hee
lost nothing by that, for he attayned to a suit, as the story
sayes, that he had beene three yeeres about Thus the king
and nobles went toEdinborough, merrily talking of their feare
and welfare,
Jemy, this fat foole, used every day to goe from the abbey,
in the low towne by the hill, into the citie of Edinborough ;
and one euening, above the rest, he met with a broken virgin,
one that had a bame (as there they are known by their attire)
wearing a loose kerchiefe, hanging downe backward : she, I
saye, cried sallets,as thus — Buy any cibus salletea ? Jemy, desi-
rous of sallets, calles her to him. Lasse, sayes he, what shall I
giue thee for a good sallet ? Faire sire, sayes the wench (for
shee knew him for the kings foole, and she could not please him
better then to call him faire sir) you giue me an atchison.
Now he, hauing nothing but sike French crownes about him,
Canst thou change mee a crowne? sayes he. Yea, sire, sayes
shee. He gives her a crowne, and shee gives him a sallet for
it, and shee went her way.
Jemy thinks it was much to give a crowne for that^ for
which shee did demand but an atchison^ which in our money
is but three farthings : he runnes after and sayes, she had his
fayrest crowne ; but, sayes hee, giue mee that, and take your
choice of these, thinking by that deuise to get the first
crowne againe. Will ye chaunge ? sayes the lasse : I, sayes
the foole ; so she takes all the fine, and giues him one againe,
and so laughing at his folly goes her way. It was in vaine
c2
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to exclayme, for they will hold fast what they get ; but my
fat foole goes home to eate his sallet, and inuites the king to
a deare dish, and made him laugh heartily at the jest. The
king calls for winiger to his sallet, because his sweet meate
should haue sower sauce, and perswaded him it was well
bought : otherwise, if the foole had repented his bargaine, it
was bis manner to try for his money againe ; yet, with it all,
the court could not quiet him.
Betwixt Edinborough Abbey, the king's place, and Leeth,
there stands an euen plaine greene meddow, in which the king
used most of his sports : amongst which he rode thether one
day to run at the glove, or the ring, as his grace should please.
With him rides Jemy Camber on a trotting mule : it was then
•a maruailous hot day. O ! sales Jemy, how cold the wether
is (so wise was hee that hee scarce knew hot from colde). No,
sayes the king, it is hot ; looke how I sweat. No, sayes Jemy,
the suime blowes very colde. No, sayes the king, the winde
shines very hot. The foole was ahnost angry to be crossed,
and said hee would be hanged at night, if hee did sweat that
day. With this merry talke they rode on ; but one of the
king's footmen hearing this, told the king at their return hee
would make his grace laugh heartily. So the king very gal-
lantly ranne that time, and neuer missed the glove, and so
did the lords ; which Jemy seeing, said it was nothing to doe.
The king bade him runne 5 he did so, but the gloue lay still,
€uid Jemy could not doe it. The king's footman (that matcht
to doe him a good tume) said Jemy could doe it better blind-
fold. What, can he ? quoth the king : I will neuer beleeue it.
You shall see else, quoth hee ; whereat Jemy maruelled much
that without sight a man could doe that, which with all his
might and sight he could not doe, was desirous to make tryall ;
so was blinded with a scarfe, while another tooke up the gloue,
and was ready for the jest. Jemy runs : Now for my maisters,
sales hee. They all shout aloud and cry rarely well done, and
one unblindes him, while another puts the glove on the speare.
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A NEST OF NINNIES. 21
So simple hee was^ that hee thought it was strange, and
bragged all that day not a little. The king did alight, and
went to drink wine at the Lord Hume's house, and Jemy went
with him, while the footeman had time to worke his will, and
mingling a conceit with butter (which I will not name, least
some one should practise the like) clapt it under the saddle ;
and, as they rode to Edinborough, sayes the king, what say
you to the weather now, Jemy ? Mee thinks it is hotter than
it was. Nay, it is colder, sayes he, for I begin to sweat.
The trotting of this mule made the mingled confection
lather so, that it got into his breeches^ and wroght up to the
crowne of his head, and to the sole of his foote, and so he sweat
profoundly. Still he whipt and he whipt, sweating more and
more : they laught a good to see him in that taking. Now
you must be hanged, says the king, as your bargaine was, for
you sweat very much. What remedie ? sayes hee. I am con-
tent to be hanged, but while I live after He never beleeue cold
weather will make one sweat. No more will I, sayes the king,
but hot weather will. Hot or colde, sayes Jemy, I am warme
now, I am sure : I would I were ouer head and eares in some
riuer to coole mee. So simple hee was that he knew not
wether it was the sunne or the winde made him sweat. At
night the king caused him to be washed and perfumed, yet
he was scarce sweet twenty days after. Thus this fat foole
chaft, but not in his owne grease.
Jemy, who was, as you have heard, a tall low man, and was
swift of foote, on a time challenged the king's best footeman,
for a wager, to run with him from the abbey, up the hill, to
Cannegate (which stood entering to Edenborough, as Ludgate
doth to London, and the King's place about Temple-barre.)
The king being told of this challenge thought it would be
good sport to see it performed, still perswaded Jemy to dare
his footeman, who before denyed him, and knew fooles would
talk any thing, though far unfit to perform any thing. Still
the king would say he was made nimble to runne, and askt
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8* A NEST OF NINNIES.
euery nobleman's judgement, who likewise soothed the king r
it was so that they made him beleeue himself swift of foote,
that I think in the end Jemy perswaded himselfe that none
but fat men could run well, and nimble men, being light,
would fall soonest ; considering that light things, being of
small substance, not feeling themselves, would surely &I1.
But here is the sport — the footeman, seeing it was tiie king's
pleasure to see the wager tryed, dared him, which made Jemy
mad, that he would run with him from Bdinborough to Bar-
wicke (which was forty miles) in one day ; a thing as unpos-
sible as to pull down a church in one houre, and to build .it
againe in another : for Jemy was lost in the king's company
once of purpose, but fine miles from the citty, at the Earle
Morton's castle at da Keth, and they thought hee would
neuer haue come home againe : when the king heard euery
houre hee was comming, and still as hee entreated euery pas-
senger to let him ride, by the king's watch in the high-way
they had warning giuen to the contrary, for he was seauen
days going the fine myle : then^ judge how long hee would be
a running fortie. You will muse how hee did for meate all
the time. He tell you how : he fasted all day, and went sup-
perlesse to bed; but being in his first sound sleepe, meate
was brought and laide by him, and a choppin of wine (for so
they call it there) which made him at his coming to court tell
the king that heauen was gentler than earthly men [who] would
shew him no favour, neyther to ride nor feede him, when he
was euery night cast into a sound sleepe ; then when he wakt
hee was sure of meate from heauen to feede on, when the
meate came from the king's kitchen at Edenborough Abbey.
But to goe forward with our challenge. The king said the
first word should stand, and on Jemie's head he laid a thou-
sand marks : the Lady Carmichell, that laught to heare all
this, wagered as much on the footeman's head. The day was
appointed the next morning, being Thursday, to begin at fiue
a' clock in the afternoone, in the coole of the euening, and
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A NEST OF NINNIES, 88
eury one to his race must make him ready. Jemy, as he had
seene the king's footeman doe, washt his feet with beere, and
soakt them in butter ; so all that night and the next day there
was nothing but Jemy and his prouision to that great journey.
The time came — Jemy was stript into his shirt, trust round
for the purpose : the footeman and hee begins to runne ; the
footeman makes shew of great labour, and the foole made the
substance, for he was quickly in a sweat. They puft and they
blowede ; they ran as swifte as a pudding would creepe. Jemy
though^ himselfe no smal foole to outnm the footeman, and
did in his minde assure himselfe to win. The king laughs to
see the toyle he made, and the footeman made great shew and
little paines. By and by, Jemy calls for drinck) and the
king, loath hee should haue any harme with labour, caused
him to haue a mixed drincke to cast him into a sleepe ; who,
when he had drunck, as hee ran on his wager, he dropt downe
in the streete, as heauy as if a leaden pliuxunet, that makes a
jack tume a spit, had fallen on the earth dab. There hee
slept, and was carryed by commaund to the top of the hill,
and laid downe againe : there hee slept halfe an houre, and
when he wakt he remembered his journey. Seeing people
still about him, up hee gets, away he jogs, and neuer lookes
behinde him ; and seeing Cannegate so neare him, had not
the wit to wonder how hee came there, but laid hold on the
ring of the gate, and staid to bee seene.
By and by the footeman comes sweating, with water poured
on his face and head. O, my heart ! sayes hee. O, my legs !
sayes Jemy : I will not doe so much for all Scotland againe.
Well, Jemy cries Victory ! victory ! and there was the king's
coach at hand to carry him home, for himselfe he neuer could
haue gone, had his life lain on it. But when hee came home,
the bragge hee made, the glory hee got, how hee outran the
footman (and ran so easily as if he had been a sleepe) was
wonderful! . I, it was sport enough for the king, a month after,
to heare him tell it. Well, the king wonne the wager, he
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thought, and that was honour sufficient for him. Not three
days after hee bad the king put away all his footemen, and
hee would seme his tume to any place. The king thanked
him for his good will, and said, when his neede was great, hee
would make bold to use him. So Jemy, this fat foole, euer
bragged of this wager.
There was a laundres of the towne, whose daughter used
often to the court to bring home shirts and bands, which Jemy
had long time loued and solicited, but to no end : she would
not yeeld him an inch of her maidenhead. Now Jemy vowed
he would haue it all : well, she consented at last ; and, to be
short, soone at night, at nine a'clocke, being in the winter,
when shee knew her mother to bee gone to watch with a sick
body, he should come, and all that night lye with her. Jemy,
though witlesse, wanted no knavish meaning, thought long tiU
it was night. But in the aftemoone, this mayd goes up to the
castle and gathers a great basket of nettles, and comming
home strawes them under the bed. Night comes, nine a'clock
strikes ; Jemy on his horse comes riding forward, sets him
up, and knockes at the doore : she lets him in, and bids him
welcome, bonny man. To bed he goes ; and Jemy euer used
to lye naked, as is the use of a number, amongst which num-
ber she knew Jemy was one ; who no sooner was in bed, but
shee herself knocked at the doore, and herself askt who was
there? — which, Jemy hearing, was afraid of her mother.
Alas ! sir (sayes shee), my mother comes, creepe under the
bed. Jemy bustled not a little — under hee creepes, stark
naked, where hee was stung with nettles. Judge, you that
haue feeling of such matters : there hee lay, turning this way
and that way ; here hee stung his leg, there his shoulder,
there his buttockes : but the mayde hauing lockt the doore to
him, went to bed, and there lay he in durance (as they say)
till morning. When the day broke, up gets the maide, to
court she goes, and tels the king's chamberlaine of the mat-
ter, and hee told the king, who laughed thereat right heartily.
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The chamberlaine was sent to see him there, who, when hee
came, found him fast a sleepe under the bed, starke naked,
bathing in nettles ; whose skinne, when he wakened him, was
a]l blistered grievously. The king's chamberlaine bid him
arise and come to the king. I will not, quoth hee : I will go
make my graue. See how things chanced ! he shape truer
than he was awar ; for the chamberlaine going home without
him tolde the king his answere. Jemy rose, made him ready,
takes his horse and rides to the church-yard in the high towne,
where he found the sexton (as the custom is there) making
nine graues, three for men, three for women, and three for
children ; and whoso dyes next, first comes, first serued. Lend
mee thy spade, sayes Jemy ; and with that digs a hole, which
hole hee bids him make for his graue, and doth giue him a
French crowne. The man, willing to please him (more for his
gold than his pleasure) did so ; and the foole gets on his horse,
and rides to a gentleman of the towne, and on the sodaine
within two hours after dyed ; of whom the sexton telling, hee
was buried there indeed. Thus you see fooles have a guess at
wit sometime, and the wisest could haue done no more — not so
much. But this fat foole fills a leane graue, with his carkasse,
upon which graue the king caused a stone of marble to bee
put, on which the poets writ these lines in remembrance of
him —
He that gard all men till jeare,
Jemy a Camber he ligges here ;
Pray for his sail, for he is geane.
And here a ligges beneath this steane.
Is this possible, sayes the World, that I should bee so serued ?
Nay, thou art worce serued heareafter, sayes hee, for thou
knowest not the following sceane ; but attend it. By the foole
is meant all fatnesse ; by the king, Nature, that nurst him ;
by the nobles, such as sooth him ; and by the ship, thee, in
which many dangers are floating, through the sense of sinne :
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S6 A NEST OF NINNIES.
and 80, if life were awarranted fodles, &t ones, rich Qnes, would
give the chaine of their soules, that is linked to saluaion^ onely
to inherit this earth in thy company ; when earth, though it
bee heauen to hell, by reason of the paines, yet the comparison
auerts ; it is hell to heauen in respect of pleasures.
By the second is meant the surfets of soule and body, that
fooles buy with their gold, not sparing any price to please ap-
petite, though the edge of it slice frome the bosome of good old
Abraham very heauen itselfe.
By the Hard, how the &t fooles of this age will gronte and
sweat under this massie burden, and purge to the crown from
the foote, though their bndne perish through the prevailing
practise of busie endeauour. The mule, morrally signifies
the diuell, upon whose trot their fatnesse takes ease, and
rides a gallop to destruction.
By the fourth taile is prefigned the presumption of great-
nesse, who are willing to outrun speede itselfe through greedy
desire. In this is showne how flattery feedes them, placing
before them, as in a sleepe, worke and wonder ; when, to say
sooth, all is not worth the wonder : their desire is more than
abilitie to performe, and tiieir practise above all ; yet the nim-
ble overshoot them in act, leaning them a quicknesse in will.
In the fifth, answere is made to the fourth, when often such
forwarde deedes meete with backward lurches, and they are
stung with their own foUyes, netling very lust with shame and
disgrace : it signifies adultery in fat ones, who (aboue their
owne) whoring after strange gods, make their religion ride
hackney to hell, and when shame takes them from the horse,
they make their own graues, and are buried in their own
shame, with this motto above written —
Fat fooles gather to their woe
Sorrow, shame, and care ;
Here they lye that gallopt so.
In Death's ingraued snare.
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A NEST OF NINNIES. 27
This morrall motion gaue the World such a buffet, that she
skrindge her face as though shee were pmcht home; yet,
seeing no remedy but that the flat and fat fooles should draw
in her coach together, shee sets in the boote and rides on.
The crittick reacheth his glasse to her view, and presents the
third.
O ! this was a humorous sir, indeede, leane Leonard : they
call him a foole of strange and prepostrous breeding, begot of
enuie, and out of doubt his base sonne : his description hath a
straine of more wonder-^long, like a lath, and of proportion
little better ; but giue his report hearing—
Curled locks on idiots* heads,
Yeallow as the amber,
Playes on thoughts as girls with beads.
When their masse they stamber.
Thicke of hearing, yet thin ear'd.
Long of neck and visage,
Hookie nosde and thicke of beard,
Sullen in his visage.
Clutter fisted, long of arme.
Bodied straight and slenderM,
Boisterous hipt, motley warme,
Euer went leane Leonard.
Gouty leg'd, footed long,
Subtill in his folUe,
Shewing right, but apt to wrong,
When apeard most holy.
Vnderstand him as he is,
For his marks you cannot misse.
You heare, maddam, sayes our cinnick, how he is markt : if
ye meete him in your pottage-dish, yet know him. The World,
though shee loued not the description, yet shee coueted his
condition, and began to woe his report; which, making no
bones of, the sweete youth gaue his doings thus.
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In the merry forest of Shearewood dwells a kind gentleman,
whose name I omit, fearing I too much offend in meddling
with his foole ; but I trust he will pardon me, for sithence, he
is so well knowne thereabouts, I thinke it not amisse to tell it
at London, that people seeing the strange workes of €rod, in
his differing creatures, we that haue perfect resemblance of
God, both in sence and similitude, may the better praise his
name, that wee differ from them whose humours we read, see,
and heare, are not so strange as true. I say againe this gentle-
man had a foole, Leonard they call[ed} him, leane of body, look-
ing like enuie, whose conditions agree with his countenance.
One time aboue all other^ hee lockt himselfe into a parlour,
where all alone hee played at slide groat, as his manner was :
peices or counters he had none ; yet, casting hi» hand empty
from him, fly, saies hee : short with a vengeance ! then, play,
saies hee (to his fellow) when, indeede, there is none but him-
selfe ; but thus with supposes he playes alone, swaggers with
his game fellow, out-sweares him with a thousand oaths, chal-
lenges him the field to answere him if hee bee a man, appoynts
the place and all, that if any one not knowing his conditions
should stand without and heare him, would thinke two swag-
gerers were fighting in the roome.
To his play againe he fals, seauen up for twelve pence, for
that is his game still : well, they fall out, they go together by
the eares, and such a hurly-burly is in the roome, that passes.
At last the stooles they flye about, the pots they walke, the
glasses they goe together ; nay, the prayer-bookes they flie into
the fire, that such a noise there was that the whole house won-
dered at his folly. Persuasions wer to no purpose ; doores hee
would open none, till they violently brake them open, though
they were of gold ; and so they did, and entered the parlour,
found all this leuell coyle, and his pate broken, his face scratcht,
and leg out of joynt ; as a number say to this houre that hee is
a play-fellow for the diuelle, and in game they cannot agree.
But that is otherwise ; for, in the great hall, at the senung
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A NEST OF NINNIES, «9
man's request, he will play by himselfe, if they will not play
with him ; and whoso playes with him, though they play for
nothing, and with nothing, all is one, they must fall out ; and
if others be not by to part them, mischiefe may bee done, for
he will lay it on, take it off who will : so that at his first com«
ming he endaungered many, and now take heed is a faire thing,
for few will come neere him. Thus you see that fooles that
want wit to goueme themselves well, have a wilfull will to goe
forward in folly.
This leane^ greedy foole having a stomacke, and seeing the
butler out of the way, his appetite was such, as loath to tarry,
breakes open the dairy house, eats and spoils new cheesecurds,
cheesecakes, ouerthrowes creame bowles, and having filled his
belly, and knew he had done euill, gets him gone to Mansfield
in Sherwood^ as one fearefull to be at home. The maydes
came home that morning from milking, and finding such a
masaker of their dairie, almost mad, thought a yeere^s wages
could not make amends. But, O the foole ! leane Leonard, they
cried, he did this mischief : they complayned to their master,
but to no purpose ; Leonard was farre enough off, search was
made for the foole, but hee was gone, none knew wither ; and
it was his propertie, hauing done mischiefe, neuer to come
home of himselfe, but if any one intreated him, he would
easily be won. All this while the foole was at Mansfield in
Sherwood, and stood gaping at a shoomaker^s stall ; who, not
knowing him, asked him what he was? Goe looke, sayes hee:
I know not myselfe. They asked him where hee was borne ?
At my mother's backe, sayes hee. In what coimtry P quoth
they. In the country, quoth hee, where God is a good man.
At last one of these journeymen imagined he was not very
wise, and flouted him very merrily, asking him if he would
haue a stitch where there was a hole? (meaning his mouth).
I, quoth the foole, if your nose may be the needle. The shoo-
maker could have found in his heart to have tooke measure on
his pate with a last, instead of his foote, but let him goe as
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80 A NEST OF NINNIES.
be was. A country plow-jogger being by, noting all this,
secretly stole a peice of shoomaker's waze off the stall, and
coming behinde him, clapt him on the head, and asked him
how he did ? The foole, seeing the pitch ball, pulled to haue it
off, but could not but witii much paine, in an enuious spleene,
smarting ripe runes after him, fals at fistie cuffes with him ;
but the fellow belaboured the foole cunningly, and got the
foole's head under his arme, and bobM his nose. The £9ole,
remembring how his head was, strikes it up, and hits the fel-
lowe's mouth with the pitcht place, so ttiat the haire of his
head and the haire of the clowne's beard were glued together.
The fellow cryed, the foole exclaimed, and could not sodainely
part : in the end, the people (after much laughing at the jest)
let them part fisdre ; the one went to picke his beard, the other
his head. The constable came, askt the cause of their falling
out, and knowing one to be Leonard, the leane foole, whom he
had a warrant from the gentleman to search for, demands of
the fellow how it hapned. The fellow bee could answere
nothing, but um ; um, quoth hee againe, meaning bee would
tell him all when his mouth was cleane; but the constable
thinking hee was mockt, clapt him in the stocks, where the
fellow sat a long houre farming his mouth ; and when hee
had done, and might tell his griefe, the constable was gone to
carry home Leonard to his maister, who, not at home, hee was
enforced to stay supper-time, where hee told the gentleman
the jest, who was very merrie to heare the story, contented the
officer, and bad him set the fellow at liberty, who, betimes in
the morning, was found fast asleepe in the stocks. The fellow
knowing himselfe faulty, put up his wrongs, quickly departed,
and went to work betimes that morning with a flea in his eare.
The gentleman with whom this Leonard dwelt, having
bought a goodly fayre hawke, brought her home, being not a
little proud of his penny-worth, and at supper to other gentle-
men fell a praysing of her, who, soothing up his humour,
likewise fayled not to adde a toarch of fire to enorease more
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flame ; for indeede the bird was worthy of commeDdationSy and
therefore did merit prayses. Leonard standing by with his
finger in his month, as it was his custome, after hearing them
praise the goodnesse of the hawke, thought indeede they had
meant for goodnesse, being farre better meate then a turkey or
a swan, was very desirous to eate of the same ; and unknowne
goes downe, and sodainely from the pearch snatcht the hawke,
and hauing wrung off her neck, begins to besiedge that good
morsell, but with so good a courage, that the feathers had al-
most choakt him ; but there lay my friend Leonard in a la-
mentable taking. Well, the hawke was mist, and the deede
was found : the maister was fetcht, and all men might see the
hawke, feathers and all, not very well digested. There was no
boote to bid runne for drams to driue down this undigested
moddicombe ; the gentleman of the one side cryed, hang the
foole ! the foole on the other side cryed not, but made signes
that his hawke was not so good as hee did praise her for ; and,
though the gentleman loued his hawke, yet he loued the foole
aboue, being enforced rather to laugh at his simplicitie, then
to vere at his losses sodainely — ^being glad to make himselfe
merry, jested on it ever after. Upon whose hawke a gentle-
man of his very wisely writ these lynes, and gaue unto his
maister.
Fooles feede without heede ; unhappy be their feeding
Whose heed being in such speed, attempted without heeding;
May they choke that prouoke appetite by pleasure,
When they eate forbidden meate, and feede so out of mea-
sure.
The gentleman laughed at this rime, yet knew not whether
more foole he for writing, the other for eating, or he for loosing.
Well, putting the hare to the goose-giblets, seeing there was
no remedy, made himselfe pastime, pleased himselfe, and did
rest contented.
He tiiat mischiefes many, sometime wrongs himselfe, as
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hearken to this jest. Leonard of all things loued his wheele-
barrow, and would worke all day, and carry dung in it, yet
would sleepe in it at night — he would set up meate for his
belly in it — ^I, what did hee without it Once at a Christmas
time, when the fire in the hall was full, Lieonard was sore a
cold : hee got coles out of the scullery, and put them into his
barrow, and set them on fire, and so sate him downe to warme
him, quite forgetting it was made of wood, and wood would
bume : so, in the end, being warme, goes for a jacke of beere,
brings it, and sets it on the fire to warme, so that the inside
melted, and hee dranckt the drinck notwithstanding ; but, on
the sodaine, he seeing the wheele-barrow flame that he so
loued, aloud hee cryes, Dmee 1 dmee ! dmee ! and takes it up
flaming, and trundles it into the hall, among the people, to
shew. The young men and maydes tmnbled over one another
for feare : some had their faces burned, others their leges ; the
maydes their smocks —yea, one set fire on another, for their
aprons burned, and being many people, the flame increased
rather then decreased. Leonard, seeing none would helpe
him, runs (for feare lest the gentleman should know it) and
thrusts it into the bame to hide it, which some seeing, runs
after, and, had they not come at that time, the hay and straw
had beene all burnt, for it was already of a light fire, but
being quencht out all was well. Such is the enuie of fooles,
who, seeing none would helpe him, thought to doe them mis-
chiefe, which he did, but not much.
The World laughed a good at these jests, though, to say
sooth, shee could hardly aflFord it, for feare of writhing her
sweet fauour 3 yet strayning courtesy in this kinde, did, as our
wantons doe at a feast, spare for manners in company, but
alone cram most greedily. So shee, forgetting modesty, gapte
out a laughter, and, like women hardly wonne, cryd More !
more ! The currish crittick said shee should, and gaue her the
third pennerth of the morral, and said : You laugh at leane
enuie in a long foole, but you have cause to weepe at long
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enuie in a leane age, as you liue in. This foole cries out not
all mine, but distributes like a kinde companion^ being a superfi-
cial! glasse to gaze in. There be leane fooles as well as fat :
such are they whose noses dropes necessitie, and they smell
out for church lands, many tenements, onthrifts, surfets, look-
ing leanely on all this, but feede fatly on hope. This fatnesse
goes to the heart, not scene in the visage. These seeme sim-
ple, but, like Leonard, hit home at advantage : they can stop
men's mouths, and scale them up in advantage, and glue the
stocks to the simple deseruer, when themselves are not blam-
lesse. O ! beware when you see a long, meagre looke ; search
him — he hath also long, reaching fingers, and can slide a groat
by himselfe, as Leonard did, fall out, curse, sweare, and batter
heauen itselfe with humour of folly. Such was the leane-
neckt crane, who had the fat foxe to dinner, making him lick
the outside of the glasse, while his leannesse fed within. You
understand me, maddame : such are your landlords to the
poore, youre leane lords to the fat tennant, or by a figure one
for the other. Thus they batten heere ; but the diuell will
«gnaw their bones for it.
By the third jest we observe a greedinesse in leane folly,
that, so good a report come in their way» these eat up hawke,
feathers, and all, to put it by, though they choake in the
deede. Hereupon comes in leane enuy, swallowes fat bits — I
mean honest manners — and makes them sterril of all good
manners, as the lawyer the poore clyant^s plow pence, the cittie
the country commodities ; that, under the shew of leannesse,
they fat themselves to the ribs — good hold for flesh hookes at
the general waste. By the fourth and last (I would it were
least) it bewrayes a curious and common leannesse in lewd
liners, who, to revenge on others, will fire their own wheele-
barrow. Like the leane tennant, who, falling out with his
landlord, and seeing his neighbour's house on fire, desired his
neighbours to pull downe his first, for feare of more danger ;
not that he louede his neighbour's safety and his owne, but that
D
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84 A NEST OF NINNIES.
hee hated his landlord : or the contrary, couetous of their
owne commoditie, fire themselues, and, because they will not
bum alone, endanger their friends, and say ^tis kind to have
company. These are fooles, indeed, leane ones ; these are fat
and foule, and make thicke doings for the diuel's dyet World,
I name them not; thou knowest them well enough. At this
shee bit her lip, knowing some that were leane Leonards in
this ; but kay me He kay thee : giue me an inch to day, He
giue thee an ell to-morrow, and weele to hell together. The
World, dimpling her chin with meere modestie, as it were
throwing off variety of squemish nicetie, began to say. Sooth,
thou saist true, there are such nicks in mee, but I know not
how to mende : I am wilUng, but flesh is weake ; prethee be
more sparing, carpe not, confound not, hope the best amend-
ment may come. Prethee goe in, furnish thy sallet : these
hearbs already are sauory^ and I picke out to my appetite,
and though I bee not altogether pleased, yet am I not quite
past patience : I will endure, for that disease that festers so
much receives cure gladly, though it come with exceeding
paine, yet so much the profit by how much the perplexities,i
cries cure to the danger. Mistris, sayes Sotto, I am glad to sit
so neare you ; and to bee thought a kinde neighbour, too, is
more then the world affords. But looke, who is heere we have ?
we haue fellowde one with our flat, and fat foole disturbd by
the leane. Now, as in a history we mingle mirth with matter,
to make a please plaister for melancholy, so in our glasse we
present to the leane a cleane. One that was more beloued
among ladyes than thought can hatch^ or opinion produce.
His name is Jack^Miller : he lines yet, and hath beene in this
citie within few dayes, and giue me leaue to describe him
thus —
You that follie comprehend.
Listen to my storie ;
This description well attend —
I haue writ it for yee.
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This cleane nigit was a foole,
Shapt Id raeane of all.
And of order fit to rule
Anger in her loudest brawl.
Fat and thicke^ neate and cleane.
And delights in pleasure,
Saue a nasty ugly etraine
Of an other measure
From his nostrils rumatick.
Griefe it was to see
Such a simple neatnesse spring
From imbisillitie.
Creatures of the better sort.
For the foole was cleane,
Gaue him loue with good report.
Had not this ill beene.
But let slip it was no faulty
Men as slougish be.
Since the wisest jump as short
In all cleanlynesse as he.
Alas I quoth the World, I am sorry^ trust me, that one so out-
wardly well should bee so inwardly ill, and haue that appear-
ance in nastie defect, which of itselfe is neate ; but go on with
the repetition, since wee are mended in the condition. Wee
will winck at small faults, tho wee yeelde it greate in nature.
Nemo sine crimine, and so forth. I, quoth Sotto, say yee
me so ? haue at him then, out it goes, but mark it well.
In a gentleman's house where Jack Miller resorted, as he
was welcome to all, it chanced so there was a play, the players
dressed them in the gentleman^s kitchen, and so entered through
the entry into the hall. It was after dinner, when pyes stood
in the oven to coole for supper : Jack had not dyned, and
seeing the oven stand open, and so many pyes there untold,
(hee thought because they seemed numberlesse) O! sayes
d2
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86 A NEST OF NINNIES.
Jack, for one of them p — p — pyes, for so hee stammered in
speaking, llie players boy being by, and in his ladyes
gowne, could haue found in his heart to creepe in, cloathes and
all ; but he perswaded Jack to do so, to which hee was willing,
an(^ very nimbly thrusts his head into the hot oven, which
being newly opened, on the sodaine hee was singed both of
head and face, and almost not a hayre left on his eye-brows
or beard. Jack cryes, O ! I bume, and had not the wit to come
back, but lay still : the gentlewoman-boy tooke him by the
heeles, and pulled him out, but how he lookt I pray you judge
that can discerne fauours. Jack was in a bad taking with his
face, poore soule, and lookt so ugly and so strangely, that the
lady of the play, being ready to enter before the gentiles to
play her part, no sooner began, but, remembring Jack, laught
out, cuid could goe no further. The gentleman mused at what
hee laught, but such a jest being easily scene, was told the
gentleman, who sent in for Jack Miller^ who came like bald
Time, to tell them time was past of his hayre : but hee so
strangely lookt, as his countenance was better then the play.
But against night the players dress themselves in another
place ; and at supper Jack Miller sang his song of Dirryes
Faire, with a barmy face to take out the fire, and lookt like
the poter of the ale-fat. It was no boote to bid him stut and
stammer, poore foole : as cleane as he was, hee was now but
beastly faced, for hee looked like a man that, being ashamed to
shew his face, had hid it in a dry lome wall, and pulling it
out againe left all the hayre behinde him.
Jack, on Newyeeres day in the morning, was to carry a
Newyeeres gift to a gentleman a myle off, and as he staid to
have it delivered him to beare, asked which was the cleanest
way thither. A fellow, knowing his cleanlinesse, sends him
over a durty marsh ; and so hee folded up his band (then
cleane) for fouling, that at the gentleman's doore he might put
it on. The present came, which Jack seeing, made legs to
the gentlewoman, forgetting his band was in his hose, carried
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a stif neck to and fro to the gentlewoman^ and what ere she
spake, or where shee stood, Jack would look but one way, as
though his neck had been starcht. And^ remember, sales the
gentlewoman, you abuse not my message, nor my gift : No,
fo, fo, forsooth, sayes Jack ; and away he goes, and thought
hee would see what it was, and, as hee went he lift up the
basket lid and lookt. Ah, ha ! quoth Jack, I see it is almond
bu — y bu — , butter.
Along he goes, and seeing the marsh wet and durty, thought
to leape a little ditch, and so to goe a cleane hie way, but (O !
poor Jack) hee, basket and all, lay in the midst of the ditch up
to his arme-pits in mud ; which, Jack seeing, got out, and goes
to a riuer by, and washes himselfe first, his band next ; where,
if it had been about his neck as it should, it had labour well
saued : but he washt his almond butter so long, that the butter
was washt away, which hee perceiving, in that woefuU taking
comes back, and called for more bu — , bu — ^ butter. The
gentlewoman seeing how things went, rather laught then vext,
because shee was so simple to trust a foole with matters of
trust, and bad him get him to the fire and dry him ; and said
next time she would stay her seruants leisure, (who then were
abroad) rather then trust to a rotten staflFe. Thus cleane fooles
light still on beastly bargaines.
In the towne of Esam, in Worstersh., Jack Miller being
there borne, was made much of in every place. It hapned that
the Lord Shandoye's players came to towne and played there ;
which Jack not a little loved, especially the clowAe, whom he
would embrace with a joyful spirit, and call him Grumball,
for so he called himselfe in gentleman's houses, where hee
would imitate playes, being all himselfe king, gentleman,
clowne, and all : hauing spoke for one, he would sodainely goe
in, and againe return for the other ; and, stammering as he
did, make much mirth : to conclude, he was a right innocent,
without any villany at all.
When these players I speake of had done in the towne, they
went to Partiar, and Jack said he would goe all the world over
>i>
t.:S
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with Grumbal. It was then a great frost new begun, and the
hauen was frozen over thinely ; but heere is the wonder, the
gentleman that kept the Hart, (an inne in tlie towne) whose
backside looked to the way that led to the riuer-side to Partiar,
lockt up Jack in a chamber next the hauen, where be might
see the players passe by ; and they of the towne, loth to lose
his company, desirued to have it so 3 but hee, I say, seeing
them goe by, creepes through the window, and said, I come to
thee, Grumball. The players stood all still to see further.
He got down very dangerously, and makes no more adoe, but
venters over the hauen, which is by the long bridge, and, as I
guess, some forty yards ouer ; yet he made nothing of it, but
my hart aked when my eares heard the ise crack all the way.
When hee was come unto me I was amazed, and tooke up a
brick-bat (which lay there by) and threw it, which no sooner
fell on the ise, but it burst. Was not this strange, that a
foole of thirty yeares was borne of that ise which would not
endure the fall of a brick-bat ? but euery one rated him for the
deede, telling him of the daunger. He considered his fault,
add, knowing faults should be punished, he intreated Grumball
the clowne, who hee so deerely loued, to whip him but with
rosemary, for that he thought would not smart. But the
players in jest breecht him till the bloud came, which he tooke
laughing, for it was Iiis manner euer to weepe in kindnesse,
and laugh in extreames. That this is true mine eies were
witnesses, being then by.
Jack Miller, welcomed to all places, and bard of none, came
to a gentleman, who being at dinner requested him for mirth
to make him a play, which he did, and to sing Derries Faire,
which, was in this manner. First it is to be netted, hee strutted
hugely, and could neytber pronounce b nor p., and thus he
began.
As I went to Derries Faire^ there was I ware of a jolly beggety
Mistris Annis M. Thomas, under a tree mending ofshoone,
Mistiis Anms Af . Thomas y night braue beggars euery one.
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And so forward; but the jest was to heare him pronounce
braue beggars^ and his qualitie was, after hee began his song,
no laughing could put him out of it. One standing by, noting
his humour that b and p plagued him, bad him say this after
bim» which Jack said he would doe : Buy any flawre, pasties,
pudding pyes, plum pottage, or pes-cods. 1 it was death to
Jack to doe it; but like a willing foole he fell to it. Buy
any, buy any fla — , flaw — , p— , p— , p— , pasties, and p — ,
P— » V—f pudding, p— , p— ., p— , pyes, p—, p— , p— , &c.
And euer as hee hit the on word, hee would pat with his finger
on the other hand, that more and more it would make a man
burst with laughing almost to see his action: sometime he
would be pronouncing one word, while one might goe to the
doore and come againe. But euer after gentiles would request
him to speake that, where before, Derryes fayre was all his
song.
He came not long after (to this I am witness, because my
eares heard it) to a gentleman's not far from Upton upon Se-
ueme, in Gloxester-shire, where at the table among many gal*
lants and gentlewomen, (almost the state of the country) hee
was to jest and sing : especially they intreated him for his new
speech of the pees, which he began in such manner to speake
with driuelliug and stuttering, that they began mightely to
laugh ; insomuch, that one proper gentlewomen among the
rest, because shee would not seeme too immodest with laugh-
ing, for such is the humour of many, that thinke to make
all, when God knows they marre all : so she, straining
herself, though inwardly she laughed heartily, gave out such
an earnest of her modesty, that all the table rung of it. Who
is that? says one : not I, says another ; but by her cheeks you
might find guilty Gilbert, where he had hid the brush, lliis
jest made them laugh more, and the rayther that shee stood
upon her marriage, and disdained all the gallants there, who
so heartily laught, that an old gentlewon^an at the table took
such a conceit at it with laughing, that, had not the foole bin
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which stood (by f<Mrtune) at her back, and was her supporter^
being in a great swonnd, she had fallen to the ground backward.
But downe they burst the windows for ayre, and there was no
little boot to bid ront : shee was nine or ten dayes ere she re-
covered that fit on my knowledge. Thus simple Jack made
mirth to all, made the wisest laugh^ but to this gathered little
wit to himselfe.
This, quoth the World, is mere mirth without mischiefe, and
I allow of it : folly without faults, is as reddish without salt,
may passe in digestion one without the other, and doe better,
where both together engenders but rheume, and mirth does
well in any. I, sayes Sotto, so way you not the true waight :
as it is sufferable to be whole, so it is saluable to be hurt, ana
one to the other giues ayme ; but [to] bee neither is monstrous.
I would faine morrall of it, if you please. Leave was granted,
for the World knew it would else be commanded, and Sotto
thus poynts at the parable.
By the first merry emblem I reach at stars, how they fire
themselves in the firmament : whether it bee sitting to neere
the sunne in the day, or couching to neere the moone in the
night, I know not ; but the hayre of their happynesse often fals
ofi^, and shoots from a blazing commet to a falne star, and car-
ries no more light then is to be seeue in the bottome of Platoe's
inck-horne ; and, where they should study in private with Dio-
genes in his cell, they are with Cornelius in his tub.
By the second, the cleane foples of this world are patterned,
who so neately stand upon their rufies, and shoeties, that the
braine is now lodged ii^ the foote ; and thereupon comes it that
many make their head their foote, and employment is tBfe
drudge to prodigalitee, made sawcie through the mud of their
owne minds, where they so often stick fast, that Bankes, his
horse, with all his strength and cunning, cannot draw them out«
By the third is figured saucie adventure in folly ; for wisdome •
puts no forward [er] then warrant, and for pleasure the wisest
make themselves fooles.
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A NEST OF NINNIES. 41
To conclude this foolish description of the fourth, many sing
out their tunes^ and like ideots true borne, confound with folly
what was created more holy, shutting out trifles that out method
matter of more waight, where nisetie herselfe will let goe in
laughter, though she spoyle her marriage.
The World likte not this well, but bit the lip againe, but
as rich men suffer wrongs for advantage, took her pennerth's
together, casts her eye aside, and sees a comely foole indeed
passing more stately, and, who was this ? forsooth, Wil. Som-
mers, one not meanly esteemed by the king for his merriment :
his mellody was of a higher straine, and he lookt as the noone
broade waking. His description was writ in his fore-head, and
yee might read it thus : —
Will, Sommers born in Shropshire, as some say.
Was brought to Greenwich on a holy day,
Presented to the king ; which foole disdain'd
To shake him by the hand, or else asham'd :
How er'e it was, as ancient people say,
With much adoe was wonne to it that day.
Leane he was, hollow eyde, as all report.
And stoop he did, too ; yet in all the court
Few men were more belquM then was this foole,
Whose merry prate kept with the king much rule.
When he was sad, the king and he would rime :
Thus Will exiled sadness many a time.
I could describe him as I did the rest.
But in my mind I doe not think it best :
"*" My reason this j how ere I doe descry him,
So many knew him that I may belye him ;
Therefore, to please all people, one by one,
I hold it best to let that paines alone :
Onely this much, — hee was a poor mans friend.
And helpt the widdow often in the end.
The king would euer grant what he would craue.
For well he knew Will no exacting knave :
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But whisht the king to doe good deeds great store,
Which caus'd the court to loue him more and more.
The World was in loue with this merry foole, and said he
was fit to the time indeede, and therefore deserued to be well
regarded. Insomuch as shee longed to heare his friscoes mor<-
ralized, and his gambals set downe. And Sotto as willingly
goes forward thus.
Will Sommers, in no little credit in the king's court, walkingr
in the parke at Greenwich, fell asleepe on the stile that leads
into the walk, and many that would haue gone that way
so much loued him, that they were loth to disease him, but
went another way ; I, the better sort, for now adaies beggars
are gallants, while gentiles of right blood seeme tame ruffians ;
but note, the loue Will Sonmiers got. A poore woman, seeing
him sleepe so dangerously, eyther to fel backward, or to hurt
his head leanii^lo against a post, fetcht him a cushion and a
rope ; the one for his head, and the other to bind him to the
post, from falling backward : and thus hee slept, and the woman
stood by, attending as the groom of his chamber. It chanced so,
that upon great occasion, as you shall after heare, WU Sommers
uncle came out of Shropsliire to seeke him in the court ; a
plaine old man of threescore yeeres, with a buttoned cap, a
lockram falling band, course but cleane, a russet coat, a white
belt of a horse hide, right horse^oUer white leather, a close,
round breech of russet sheeps wool, with a long stock of white
kersey, a high shoe with yelow buckles, all white with dust 5
for that day the good old man had come three and twenty miles
on foot. This kinde old man, comming up in his countrys
behalfe, and comming into Greenwitch, asked the way to the
court : euery one directs him ; but one villaine page directs
him by the court gate, to crosse in a boat over to Blackwal,
and told him that was the court. The silly old man willingly
paid his penny before hand, and was going ouer ; but some
that ouer-heard their talk, hindered his journey and laughed
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at the jest, yet pitied his simplicitie, and sets him in the right
way. When he came in and saw such a place, he was amazed,
and stood gazing, which the gard and gentlewomen, in their
windows, had much sport to see. At last one asked him what
he was ? The old man answeres, A poore Shropshire man ; and
demands if there were not a gentleman in the court dwelling,
called by the name of M. Will Sommers ? for the country hear«
ing him in fauour in the court, said hee was so at least* The
courtier answered, Here is such a one indeede. For fault of a
worse, saies hee, I am his uncle ; and wept with joy that hee
should see him. Marry, sayes the man, He help you to him
straight ; for, I tell you, not any in the court durst but haue
sought him, which this man did, and it was told him. Hee
was walkt into the parke, while the king slept that bote
day. Thether went they to seeke him. All this while my
friend Will was in counsel with the post ; and the cushion
stood as arbitrator betwixte them, and the woman as a
witnesse what was said and done. At last came these
.two and wakened him. William, seeing his head soft. What
soft post is this ? quoth he. A post of mine own making, saies
the woman. But she lost nothing by her good will ; for ere
she left Wil Sommers, shee got him to get her sons pardon of
the king, who was to bee hanged three days after for piracy :
but by Will Sommers means he deceived the hang-man. This
and many good deedes he did to diuers.
The foole, being wakened, lookes about him ; when he had
thanked the woman, asked what newes ? sayes the man. Sir,
here is your uncle come out of the country to see you. God a
mercy cousin ! sayes Will Sommers ; I thank thee for thy
labour, you cannot uncle me so. Yes, truly, sir, I am your
own deare uncle, M. William, and with that wept. Are you
my uncle ? sayes Will. I, sir, sayes hee. Are you my uncle ?
sayes hee againe. I, sure, and verely too. But are you my
uncle, indeed ? By my vusse I am, sayes the old man. Then,
uncle, by my vusse, welcome to court, sayes Will Sommers.
But what make you heere, uncle ? He ups and tels his com-
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ming to him. Will takes him by the hand : Come, saies hee,
thou shalt see Harry, onckle — the onely Harry in Ekigland ;
so he led him to the chamber of presence, and euer and anon
cryes out. Aware, roome for me and my uncle ! and knaues bid
him welcome. You are welcome, sir, said they : the old man
thought himselfe no earthly man, they honoured him so much.
But Will, ready to enter the presence, lookes on his uncle,
and seeing him not fine enough to looke on the king : CJome,
uncle, sayes hee, we will haue your geere mended ^ leads
him to his chamber, and attires him in his best fooles coate^
simply, God wot, meaning well to him ; and the simple old man
as simply put it on, cap and all.
But they come ; and up they came, and to the king they
goe, who, being with the lord treasurer alone, merry, seeing
them two^ how Will had got another foole, knew there was
sport at hand. How now ! sayes the king. What news with
you ? O, Harry ! sayes he, this is my owne uncle ; bid
him welcome. Wei, said the king, he is welcome. Harry,
sayes hee, heare me tell thee a tale, and I will make thee
rich, and my uncle shall be made rich by thee. 'Will tels
the king how Terrils Frith was inclosed. Tirrels Frith ! sayes
the king ; what is that ? Why, the heath where I was borne,
called by the name of Tirrels Frith : now a gentleman of that
name takes it all in, and makes people beleeue it is all his, for
it took the name from liim ; so that, Harry, the poore pine, and
their cattle are all undone without thy help. And what should
I doe? sayes the king. Marry, sayes Will, send to the Bishop
of Hereford ; hee is a great man with Terril : commaund him
to set the Frith at liberty againe, who is now imprisoned by
his means. And how shall I be rich by that ? sayes the king.
The poore will pray for thee, sayes Will ; and thou shalt bee
rich in heauen, for on earth thou art rich already. All this
was done, and Wills uncle went home, who, while he lined, for
that deed was allowed bayly of the common, which place was
worth twenty pound a yeere. •
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Howseuer, these three things it came in memoir, and are for
mirth incerted into stage playes I know not, but that Will
Sommers asked them of the king, it is certaine : there are
some will affirme it now living at Greenwich. The king being
on a time extreame melancholy, and full of passion, all that
Will could doe will not make him merry. Ah ! sayes hee, this
must haue, must haue a good showre to dense it ; and with
that goes behinde^the arras. Harry, saies hee, He goe behind
the arras, and study three questions, and come againe ; see,
therefore, you lay aside this melancholy muse, and study to
answere me. I, quoth th6 king : they will be wise ones, no
doubt At last out comes William with his wit, as the foole
of the play does, with an anticke looke to please the beholders.
Harry, sayes hee, what is it, that the lesser it is, the more it is
' to be feared ? The king mused at it ; but, to grace the jest
better, he answered, he knew not. Will answered, it was a
little bridge ouer a deepe riuer ; at which hee smyled.
What is the next, William ? sayes the king. Marry, this is
the next : what is the cleanliest trade in the world ? Marry,
sayes the^king, I think a comfit-maker, for hee deales with no-
thing but pure ware, and is attired cleane in white linen when hee
sels it. No, Harry, sayes [he to] the king ; you are wide. What
say you, then ? quoth the king. Marry, sayes Will, I say a durt-
dajiber. Out on it, says the king, that is the foulest, for hee is
durty up to the elbows. I, sayes W^l ; but then he washes
him cleane againe, and eats his meate cleanly /enough. I
promise th%e. Will, saies the king, thou hast a pretty foolish
wit. I, Harry, saies he, it will serue to make a wiser man
than you a foole, methinks. At this the king laught, and de-
maunds the third questioh. Now, tell me, saies Will, if you
can, what it is that, being borne without life, head, lippe, or
eye, yet doth runne roaring through the world till it dye. This
is a wonder, quoth the king, and no question ; I know it not.
Why, quoth Will, it is a fart. At this theuking laught hartely,
and was exceeding merry, and bids WilJ( aske any reasinable
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46 A NEST OF NINNIES.
thing, and he would graunt it. Thanks, Harry, saies he ; now
against I want, I know where to find it, for yet I neede no-
thing, but one day I shall, for euery man sees his latter end,
but knows not his beginning. The king understoode iiis mean-
ing, and so pleasantly departed for that season, and Will laid
him downe among the spaniels to sleepe.
Of a time appointed the king dined at Windsor, in the
chappel yard at Cardinall Wolsey's, at the same time when he
was building that admirable worke of liis tombe : at whose gate
stoode a number of poore people, to be serued with alms when
dinner was done within ; and, as Will passed by, they saluted
him, taking him for a worthy personage, which pleased him.
In he comes, and finding the king at dinner, and the cardi-
nall by attending, to disgrace him that he neuer loued, Harry,
sayes hee, lend me ten pound. What to doe P saies the king.
To pay three or foure of the cardinall's creditors, quoth hee,
to whom my word is past, and they are come now for the
money. That thou shalt. Will, quoth hee. Creditors of
mine ? saies the cardinall : Ue give your grace my head if any
man can justly aske me a penny. No ! saies Will. Lend me
ten pounds ; if I pay it not where thou owest it, He give thee
twenty for it. Doe so, saies the king. That I will, my liege,
saies the cardinall, though I know I owe none. With that he
lends Will ten pounds. Will goes to the gate, distributes it
to the poore, and brought the empty bag. There is thy bag
againe, saies hee : thy creditors are satisfied, and my word out
of danger.
Who received? sayes the king; the brewer or the baker?
Neyther (Harry), saies Will Sommers. But, cardinall, an*
swere me in one thing : to whom dost thou owe thy soule ?
To God, quoth hee. To whom thy wealth? To the poore,
sayes hee. Take thy forfeit (Harry) sayes the foole; open
confession, open penance : his head is thine, for to the poore
at the gate I paid his debt, which hee yeelds is due : or if thy
stony heart will not yeeld it so, saue thy head by denying thy
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A NEST OF NINNIES. 47
word, and lend it mee : thou knowest I am poore^ and haue
neyther wealth nor wit, and what thou lendest to the poore
God will pay thee ten fold ; he is my surety — arrest him — for,
by my troth, hang mee when I pay thee. The king laught at
the jest, and so did the cardinall for a shew, but it grieved him
to jest away ten pound so : yet worse tricks then this Will
Sommers serued him after, for indeede hee could neuer abide
bim, and the forfeiture of his head had liked to haue beene
payed, had hee not poysoned himselfe*
There was in the time of Will Sommers another artificiall
foole, or jester, in the court, whose subtiltie heapt up wealth
by gifts giuen him, for which Will Sommers could neuer abide
him ; but, indeede, lightly one foole cannot indure the sight of
another, as Jack Oates, the minstrell, in the fat foole's story,
and one beggar is woe that another by the doore shoidd goe.
This jester was a big man, of a great voyce, long black locks,
and a verry big, round beard. On a time, of purpose, Will
Sommers watcht to disgrace him, when he was jugling and
jesting before the king. Will Sommers brings up a messe of
milke and a manchet : Harry, saies hee, lend me a spoone.
Foole, saies the jester, use thy hands, helpe hands, for I haue
no lands, and meant, that saying would warrant his grose feed-
ing. I, saies Will Sommers, beasts will doe so, and beasts will
bid others doe as they doe themselves. Will, said the king,
thou knowest I haue none. True Harry, saies hee, I know
that, therefore I askt thee ; and I would (but for doing thee
harmey thou hadst no tongue to grant that foole his next sute ;
but I must eate my creame some way.. The king, the jester,
and all gathers about him to see him eate it. Will begins thus
to rime ouer his milk :
TkU bUy Harry y 1 giue to thee, and this next bit must sente
for mecy both which He eate apace;
This, madamey unto you, and this bit I myself eate now, and
all the rest upon thy face.
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Meaning the foole, in whose beard and head the bread and
milk was thicke sowne, and his eyes abnost put out. Will
Sommers hee gets him gone for feare. This lusty jester, for-
getting himself, in fury draws his dagger, and begings to pro-
test. Nay ; saies the king, are ye so hote ? claps him fast, and,
though hee draws his dagger here, makes him put it up in an-
other place. The poore abused jester was jested out of coun-
tenance, and lay in durance a great while, till Will Sommers
was faine, after he broke liis head, to giue him a plcdster, to
get him out againe. But neuer after came my jugler in the
court more so neere the king, being such a dangerous man to
draw in the presence of the king.
Now, Lady World, saies Sotto, you wonder at this first
jest : do not ; 'tis common, for who so simple that, being gorged
with broth themselues, will not giue their friends one spoonful,
especially our kinne. O weell to make them great, make our-
selues, and pollitikly rise againe by their greatness. But hee
was simple in that ; for though hee raised many, hee himselfe
stood at one stay. But the deed is not common, therefore may
fitly be termed a fooles deed, since the wise meddle not with
it, unlesse to plunge further in, and winde from povertie. But
leaue it the greatest «p^wer of all to remedie and reuenge,
while earthly majestie grows great by adding libertie to their
aflflictions, q& in our commons of late, God preserue him for it.
By the second morally signification giues this ; that fooles
questions reach to mirth, leading wisdome by the hand, as age
leads children by one finger, and though it holds not &st in
wisdome, yet it points at it.
Better so then the wise to put questions to fooles ; for that's
to put money out of the bag, and leaue the money behinde to
bad use, while themselues beg with the bag. Such, like Will
Sommers, sleepe amongst dogs. The third bids us charitably
learne of simplicitie to pay our debts when the poore creditor
eals for it ; but 'tis a generall fault, and such who haue doores
shut, whereat the poore stand, shal find gates fast whereat
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A NEST OF NINNIES. 49
themselues may not enter ; but especially we of the laity, for
while the pastor cherishes the soule, we seeke to starve the
body; but let's be mindful! least decaying one we lose
both«
O ! the World could not indure this, but offered to fling away.
Nay, nay, saies the cinnick ; soft and faire — a word or too
more : and, halfe angry, looking into his glasse, sees one all in
blew, carrying his neck on the one side, looking sharply, draw-
ing the leg after him in a strange manner, described in meeter
thus:
Some thing tall, dribling euer,
Bodie small, merrie neuer.
Splay footed, visage black.
Little beard, it was his lack,
Flat capt still in view,
The citties charge many knew ;
Long coated, at his side
Muckinder and inckhorne tied.
Preaching still unto boyes,
Ayming well, but reaching toyes :
Louing all, hating none,
Lesse such as let him rot alone ;
As a liude, so a dyde ;
Was death's scorne, though life's pride.
This is singular, indeede, sayes the World : I long to heere
of this dry, poore John. His name is John, indeede, saies the
cinnick ; but neither John a nods, nor John a dreames, yet
either as you take it, for he is simply simple without tricks,
not sophisticated like your tobacco to tast strong, but as nature
aloud him he had his talent. Whereat the World so tickled
her spleene that she was agog, clap[ped] her hands for joy, and
saies she was deepely satisfied, and cryed more. The crooked
stick of liqurish that gaue this sweet relish, being to set his teeth
to it, wipes his rheumy beard, and smites his philosophical nose,
E
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50 A NEST OF NINNIES.
snapping his fingers, barber-like after a dry shauing, jogs on
thus:
This innocent ideot, that neuer harmed any, before I enter
tany furher, I will let you understand in too words, how he
came to be of the hospital of Cfaristschurch.
Some certaine yeers since (but not a few yeers) there dwelt
a poore blinde woman in Bow-lane, in London, called by the
name of blinde Alice, who had this foole of a child to lead her ;
in whose house he would sit eyther on the stayres, or in a
corner, and sing psalms, or preach to himselfe of Peter and
Paul, because he delighted to goe to sermons with blinde Alice,
and heard the preacher talk of them. It chanced the Wor-
shipfuU of the Citty (good benefactours to the poore) to take
her into Christ's hospital, with whom John went as a guide to
lead her : who being old^ after shee dyed, hee was to bee
turned out of doore | but the Citty, more desirous to pitty then
to be cruell, placed him as a fostred fatherless child, and they
did wel in it too, seeing hee was one of God's creatures, though
some difference in persons. Well, to goe forward in what I
promised you : John went to St Paul's church, in London, to
meet with B. Nowell, the deane, whose bounty to him was
great ; and the foole knew it well enough, whom he would duly
attend after his preaching, for euer at their meeting he gaue
them a groat, and hee would bring it to his nurse. Well,
B. Deane preached not that day ; whereupon John stands in a
corner, with boyes flocking about him, and begins to preach
himselfe, holding up his muckender for his booke, and reads
his text. It is written, sales he, in the 3 chapter of Paule to
the Corinthians. Brethren, you must not sweare (for that was
lightly all his text) : then thus he begms. — ^Wheras or wfaer.^
unto it is written ; for because you must belieue it; for surely
else we are no Christians. Write the sermon (boy) saies hee
(as the hospital boyes doe) and then one must write on his
hand with his finger, and then he would goe forward thus.
The world is proud, and God is angry if wee do not repent
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A NEST OF NINNIES. 61 •
Good friend giue me a pin, or good friend giue me a poynt, as
it came in his minde. And so sucking up bis driuell and his
breath together, would pray and make an end : which being
done, who bids me home to dinner, now? saies John. The
boyes that knew his qualities, answeres that do I, John.
Thank ye, friend, saies he, and goes home to his own dwelling
at Christ's Church. But, at this time, one wealthy merchant's
son, to make his father merry, bad him home to dinner indeede,
and, will bee or nill bee, he must goe with him. With much
adoe, John went ; and, coming into the house, simply sits him
downe, as bis use was, in the chimney comer. It was in Lent,
when pease pottage bare great sway, and when euery pease
must have his ease. John, beholding pease pottage on the fire,
thought on his nurse, for he was all sauing for her, and seeing
nobody by, stept to the pot, and put a great ladle of pottage
into his pocket, and pittiously burnt his thigh ; and but that
the leather was thick, it had beene worse. John, feeling some-
thing bume, lept and cryed : they ran in to see the matter
why he cryed, but more and more he exclaimed, I bum ! I bum !
and got out of doores, and neuer leaues it, til he came to his
nurse, who quickly shifted him, and mended what was amisse.
But the jest was to see the folk of the house, who, wondering
what he ayled, could not deuise what the matter was ; but a
begger in the entry, who beheld all, told the tmth of the mat-
ter, who lost a good alms for his labour. But thus simple
John, by his own folly, died the inside of his pocket pease pot-
tage tawny, and set a good scarlet red upon his thigh.
Gaffer Homes, being sexton of Christ^s Church, would often
set John aworke to toull the bell to prayers or burials, wherin
he delighted much : it chanced so, that comming through the
church, and hauing nothing to doe, seeing the bell so easily
to be come by, towles it. The people, as the custom is, repairs
to church (as they used) to know for whom it was. John
answeres them still, for his nurse's chicken. They said, where*
fore towles the bell, John ? I know not When dyed he ?
e2
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52 A NEST OF NINNIES.
Even now. Who, John ? Who, my nurse's chicken, quoth
bee^ and laughs. This jest was knowne to euery neighbour
thereabouts, who sent him to bid him leaue touting ; but it
was not his custome, till Goodman Homes tooke the rope from
bim that gaue the rope to him. Well, there stood Jack, towl-
ing, from foure a'clock to sixe, goodman Homes being from
home, who was not a little vext at John^s dilligence, but laid
the rope euer afler where John could not reach it. John was
of this humor : ask him what his coat cost him ? he would^say
a groat; what his cap, band, or shirt cost? all was a* groat ;
aske what his beard cost ? and still a groat. So, one Friday
morning there was a gentleman to ride down into Warwick-
shire, about payment of an hundred pound upon a bond's for-
feiture : the time was next day, by sunset; it was no boote to
bid him pull on his boots and be gone. Well, he made hast
and went to doe it without bidding ; and yet, for all his haste,
his bootes were seeme-rent, and must haue a stitch or two
needes : he sends them to a cobler, next to Christ's Church
gate in Newgate market, who was diligent to mend them
straight ; and as he had done, comes John of the hospitall to
him (as his use was) to carry home his work, and he sends
John home with the boots. As John was going through luy
lane, a country fellow that knew him not, meets him, and
seeing the boots. What shall I giue thee for them ? sales bee.
John (who sold euery thing for a groat) asked a groat. The fel-
low, seeing it was a good penniwoith, giues him a groat and de-
parts with the boots. John, as his use was, gaue it to his nurse.
She asked him where bee had it ? Hee said for boots ; but she
not knowing his miude, fell to worke againe as he found her.
The forfeiture of the bond so hammered in this gentleman's
head, that he thought euery houre two, till he bad his
boots, and mused they came not from mending, sends for
th^m presently. One comes sweating (zoones !) cobler, the
boots : and being at worke very busie, I, sayes hee, they are
mended and carryed home. Another comes, boots ! boots !
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A NEST OF NINNIES. 53
Would the boots were in your belly, quoth the cobler ; once
againe, they are gone home. By and by comes the gentleman
in his white linen boot hose, ready to the purpose. A poxe of
lazy coblers ! sayes hee ; my boots ! shall I forfeit a bond for
your pleasure? The cobler puts off his considering cap. Why,
sir, sayes hee, I sent them home but now. By whom ? sayes
he. By John, blew John, sayes the cobler. The gentleman
he runs home one way, the cobler another. Well, no boots
were to be had. The gentleman hee stayed^ and the cobler
hee prayed, but all this while the boots belaid and came not.
The cobler seekes John at his nurse's, where he was, and
found the boots were sold for a groat. The cobler seeing no
remedy, because the gentleman was in haste, giues him fiue
shillings, with a heauy hey ho, towards a new paire, and lost
foure shillings, eight pence, by the bargaine ; but the cobler
would neuer let John carry home his ware more. Nay, sayes
the cobler, if my money can be booted and ride poste so by
fiue shillings at a time, it is no boot for me to say utinm, but
the next bootes He make a page of my own age, and carry
home myselfe, for I see fooles will afford good penniworths.
On Easter Sunday the ancient custome is that all the children
of the hospitall goe before my Lord Maior to the Spittle, that
the world may witnesse the works of God and man, in main-
tennance of so many poore people, the better to stir up lining
men^s minds .to the same good. Before which the children of
the hospitall, like a captaine, goes John ; whom, to behold the
people flock apace, and the weather being hot, their thrusting
made John extreme dry. John considered he was like to fast
while dinner, yet kept on his rank to the spittle, where the
Cannes did walke apace by his nose, but neuer came at him,
which made him more eager of drinck. Well, while the chil-
dren were placing, John stood making of water, and seeing a
gentleman^s doore open, slips in, and the houshold without^
standing to see my Lord Maior passe by, regarded him [not] ;
but hee whose nose had wit to smell good beere, got downe into
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54 A NEST OF NINNIES.
the seller, and fell to it tipple square, till be was lost and quite
drunck, and lay'd himselfe to sleepe behinde two barrels, and
unseene slept all that day. In the sermon time he was mist,
sought, and not found. The afternoone came ; the gentleman^s
butler and other good fellowes fell to carouse soundly, till the
butler was layd up too : heere was a seller well fraught with
fooles ; but all this while the beadles fayled not to search up
and downe the citie : the cryer cryed a man child, of the age
of two and thirtie yeeres, for at least hee was so old. But
returne we to the seller. The two drunkards waked both to-
gether. John cals nurse 1 nurse ! which the butler (halfe awake)
hearing, thought the diuell had bin playing bo peep with him ;
but when he looked and beheld him, imagining how it was, he
secretly sent him to the hospital!, least hee were blamed for his
negligence in looking to the doore no better.
A number of things more John did, which I omit, fearing to
be tedious. Not long after he dyed, and was old — for his
beard was full of white haires, as his picture in Christ's Hos-
pital (now to be seene) can witnesse : buryed he is, but with
no epitaph. Mee thinks, those that in his life time could afford
him his picture, might with his graue yeeld him so much as
foure lynes, that people may see where he lyes, whom they so
well knew : and if I might persuade, his motto should be to
this effect :
Here sleeps blew John, that giues
Food to feede wormes, and yet not liues.
You that passe by, looke on his graue.
And say yourselues the like must haue.
Wise men and fooles all one end makes :
Gods will be done, who giues and takes.
Surely, says Mistress Nicetie, this pleases well to see one
so naturally silly to be simply subtill ; it is strange ; but I
heare it, and, like a tale out of a poore man's mouth, hardly
credit it.
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A NEST OF NINNIES. 55
This foole, says Sotto, signifies many who come to chmr^h
to meete acquaintance, more than for piety, and will sooner sell
the church for mony, then pawne ought to underprop it. At
these the boyes and children of this world wonder, while manly
age sees and will not see. For these, as the second tale sales,
folly towles the bell, and a number longs to heare it ring out,
when the losse of Johns chicken is of more want then theirs ;
but, a rope out of it, it will one day be better. Ther are, as
Hamlet saies, things cald whips in store.
The third jest of John shews morrally many things; amongst
which, things, I meane workes, are so cobbled that, to rid it
with quicknesse, John may beare it up and downe to the owner,
while workmanship and time is merely abused — - but it boots
not to meddle in this, least some say, ne sutra, &c. But let
me tel ye this, by the way, World : there are knaues in thy
seames, that must be ript out. I, sayes the World ; and such,
I feare, was your father. O ! no, sayes the critticke, he was
the silly gentleman that staid while the foole brought home
his boots, and so forfeited his bond, that his good conditions
lay at gage for it. Marry, yes, saies the World ; and was after
canseld at the gaUows : for such as her lies in wait to cosin
simplycitie, and for a groat buy that which, well got, deserues
a portague. At this the cinnick fretted : and heere they begin
to challenge the combat ; but a parly sounded, summoned them
to the last tale with John to the cellar in the spittell ; where,
if they please, they may carouse freely, though they die deepe
in scarlet, as many doe, till they loose themselues in the open
streets. Such Diogenes sought atnoone day with a lanthome
and a candell. Well, the World so buffeted the cinnicke at his
owne weapon, that he playes with her, as weake fencers that
carries flesh up and downe for others to dresse. Such was the
cinnicke, onskilfull in gulps and worldly flaunts, rather to play
with short rods, and giue venies till all smarte againe ; not in
the braines, as the World did, but in the buttocks, as such doe,
hauing their joses displaid, making them expert till they cry it
up in the top of question.
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56 A NEST OF NINNIES.
Our sullen cinnicke sets by his glasse in malice, knits a betill
brow till the roome grew darke againe, which the wanton World
seeing, flings out of his cell, like a girle at barley brake,
leauing the last couple in hell, away she gads, and neuer lookes
behinde her, A whirlewinde, sayes the cinnicke, goe after I — ^is
this all my thanks ? — the old payment still ! — will the World
still reward mortality thus ? — is vertue thus bedridden ?-— can
she not helpe herselfe ? and lookes up to heauen, as hee should
say, some power assist ! But there he sat, fretting in his owne
grease, and, for ought I know, nobody came to help him.
CONCLUSIO.
Thus, gentlemen, as the kinde hostess salutes her guests,
saying. You see your cheere, and you are welcome — so say I.
It may bee you like it not. I am sorrier, you will say, these
sallets were ill drest. Like enough ; but good stomachs digest
anything, and that it was a dry feast. The cinnicke bad [not]
the World so much as drinck : — ^true, a worldling right, who,
as the word is drinck before you goe, sets the cart before the
horse, and sayes, goe before you drink, why may he not in his
cell P — his betters will. I haue scene it in the gentlemens
cellers — but I cry you mercy ; there, I think, it is, drinck till
you cannot goe. Bownce is the worlds motto there, till they
discharge the braine of all good abearing, making the body
breake the peace in euery corner : but blame me not, I am
tedious ; pardon my folly— writing of folly ; if you knew, you
would say hie mirum. Wherefore, if my pardon may be pur-
chased, then so ; if not, you may bid me keepe any fooles
company.
FINIS.
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5V
NOTES.
Page 1, line 5. Shdtorwn plena ntnt omnia,] Armio's motto reminds
us of that assumed by La Society de la M^re Folle de Dijon — Numerus
Stultorum infinitus est. See Du Tilliot " Memoires pour servir a THis-
toire de la Fete des Foux."— W. J. T.
Page 3, line 11. May beautifie our GLOBE in every line.] An allu-
sion to the Globe Theatre, at which Armin was an actor.
Page 3^ line 23. While they of Al-soules gave atfme.] " To giue aim"
and *' to cry aim'* seem to have been synonymous of old, and were figura-
tive phrases derived from archery, generally meaning to consent to, " To
cry aim" occurs in " King John," act ii., sc. 1 (Collier's edit, vol. iv., p. 24),
and elsewhere in Shakespeare. It may also be pointed out in the works of
nearly all the popular writers of the same date. For a few instances, see
Dodsley's Old Plays, last edit., vol. ii., p. 279.
Page 4, line 4. [ goe in motly.] Motley was the term applied to the
parti-coloured dress of jesters or clowns; such as that worn by Touchstone
ID '' As you like it," the domestic fool in '' All's well that ends well," &c.
Page 4, line 9. Not with your good skene head me.] A skene, or skean,
was a species of knife or short sword used by the Irish ; and called, in their
language, sgian or skian, probably from the Icelandic akeina, to wound.
Page 5, line 7. She now begins to grow bucksome as a lightning before
death.] The old meaning of " buxom" is obedient. In " Henry V.,"
act iii , sc. 6, Pistol talks of '* buxom valour," meaning valour that was
controllable, and under good command ; but it does not seem very clear
in what way Armin means to apply the word.
Page 6, line 19. No, nor to the Country, where seldom seene.] This
and the five preceding lines are printed as prose in the original ; perhaps
for the purpose of saving room.
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Page &, line 23. One that was wise enough and fond enough.] The
most common sense of '' fond^" of old^ was foolish ; and hence we may per-
haps infer that our ancestors thought it foolish to be fond.
Page 5, line 20. And sold all for a glass prospective.] i. e. Such a glass
as conjurors were in the habit of using.
Page 6, line 6. That is sharp sauce with bitter dyet.] For sauce, the
original has lance, an obvious misprint.
Page 6, line 18. For as they (f) all for the most part.] Ay was almost
invariably printed with a capital / at the period when this tract was pub-
lished.
Page 7, line 23. Enowne to many^ loude of any.] i. e. probably " aUou>*d
of any,*' beoause he relied upon truth in his jests. It may, however, be a
misprint for '* loud as any."
Page T, line 31. In motley cotes goes Jack Oates.] Jack Oates is a new
name in the list of English Fools or Jesters, and obviously belongs to that
class of the General Domestic Fool which the late Mr. Douce, in his Dis-
sertation on the Clowns and Fods of Shakespeare, describes as being
** silly by nature, yet cunning and sarcastical." — W. J. T.
. Page 7> Hne 36. If it were possible such breaihde hers to oonmaunde.]
The meaning seems to be, that the World inquires, if it were possible that
such persons as Jack Oates breathed hers to command, or at her com*
mand.
Page 8, line 8. Queene Richard, art come? quoth he.] *' Queen Dick*'
b still an expression among the lower orders. How it came into use it is
aot, perhaps, possible to explain.
Page 9, line 18. At Christmas time, when great logs furnish the hall fire.]
When icicles hang by the wall
And Dick, the shepherd, blows his nail.
And Tom bears logs into the hall. &c.
" As you like it." Act v., sc. 2.
Page 9, line 22. A noyse of minstrels and a Lincohishire bagpipe was
provided.] A noise of minstrels meant of old a company of minstrels : thus,
in Henry IV., Part 2, Act ii., sc. 4 (Collier's edit, iv., 379), we hear of
** Sneak's noise," which the drawer was told to procure for the entertain-
ment of Falstaff. In the first part of the same play, Shakespeare does not
speak very favourably of '* the drone of a Lincohishire bagpipe ;" but,
from various authorities, it appears that it was an instrument then in much
request From what follows, in Armin, we learn the part of the family for
which it was provided.
Page 13, line 29. Tliey knockt to the dresser, and the dinner went up.]
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NOTES. 59
The outtom for the cook to knock on the dresser, when the dinner was ready
to he placed upon table, is mentioned by many old writers. See Middleton's
*' Blurt Master Constable," Act ii., sc. 1 ; upon which the Rev. A. Dyce, in
his edition of that dramatist's Works i., 247) makes the following note : —
" When dinner was ready, the cook used to knock on the dresser with his
knife, as a signal for the servants to carry it into the hall." He adds
a correction of an important error on the subject made by Reed and
Nares.
Page 14, line 26. The knight and the rest all laught a good.] i. e. laughed
in good earnest. The expression was common, and suflScient instances of
its use may be seen in a note on Marlowe's " Rich Jew of Malta," in Dods-
ley's Old Plays, last edit viii., p. 280. The words occur again on p. 21 and
32 of this tract.
Page 15, line 10. The knight perceiving the fooles envie,'\ i. e. the
fool's hatred : " envy" was then constantly used with this meaning.
Page 15, line 25. They carde hence what their parents spin.] There is
a play here upon the word card, as applied to the domestic operations of
carding and spinning and gaming : " they card hence what their parents
spin," means they wantonly disperse what their parents had industriously
accumulated.
Page 16, line 3. The deuouring of deuoutions dyet.] We suspect some
misprint here : possibly we ought to read " another's diet," the compositor
having carried on the first part of the word '^ deuouring" to the next word
but one.
Page 16, line 18. Two yards in compasse & a nayle I reade.] It may be
doubtful whether we are to take " I read" literally, and that Arm in had
read this description of the uncouth dwarf, James Camber, in some work of
the time ; or whether we are to understand " I read" only in that sense in
which'our older authors sometimes employ / rede, i. e. I advise or inform.
Probably, from what follows, the former was the case.
Page 16, line 22. But what that time Jemy a Camber was.} llie cus-
tom of keeping a fool appears to have prevailed in the Scotch as generally
as in any other of the European courts, and it may be presumed was retained
for a long time among the nobility ; since, among the curiosities shown at
Glammis Castle, was, within these few years, the dress worn by the do-
mestic fool belonging to the family. Among the Scotch wearers of Motley,
the name of John Lowe, the king of Scotland's fool, holds a prominent
pAace; while Archee and Muckle John figure among the professed jesters
of the English court. The late Mr. Octavius Gilchrist published an inte-
resting account of Archibald Armstrong, and his jests, in the London Ma-
gazine for Sept. 1824.— W. J. T.
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60 NOTES.
Page 17« line 31 Wbo hearing the ordinance goe uff, would aske what
doe they now J] Jemmy Camber would ask ; not the king, the last ante-
cedent. Sufficient hag been seen to show us that we must not be ? ery cri-
ticaU either as to Armin's grammar or style of composition.
Page \8, line 3. That of a maide had a bame.] A word still used in the
north for a' child.
Page 18, line 12. A sodaine flaw or gust rose.] This passage forms a
brief but decisive explanation of the line in ** Hamlet," Act v., sc.l.
" Should patch a wall to expel the winter's >Iaar,"
and other passages in Shakespeare, where the word " flaw" occurs. A
*' flaw" is a gust of wind. Boswell informs us that Dryden uses it generally
for a storm, but such is not the case in the quotation he makes to support
his position.
Page 18, line 35. For no way could T hane been a looser.} There is
probably some misprint in the original copy in this sentence ; for, as it
stand% it is not intelligible.
Page 19, tine 18. Wearing a loose kerchiefe, hanging downe backward.]
This is curiouii, shewing that women of bad character at that time wore
some peculiar kind of dress by which they were known. They are now
recognised by other indications, quite as decisiye.
Page 19, line 23. Giue me an Atchison.] ** The meaning of the term
( Atchison,' as applied to coins," writes Mr. Laing, of Edinburgh, *' is thus
explained. Thomas Atcheson was assay-master of the Mint at Edinburgh
during the minority of James VI., and also during the reign of Mary.
His name was given in derision to base metal coins which then were in cir-
culation, and which, as Bishop Nicolson mentions (Scottish Hist. Library,
p. S26, 8vo edit.), were in the year 1587 ' cryed down by Proclamation,
because counterfeit in England and other foreign parts.' Nicolson, how-
ever, at p. 34, confounds this Atcheson with an Englishman, who wrote a
treatise on the Gold Mines in Scotland, which was printed some years ago
for the Bannatyne Club ; and Gough, correcting the Bishop's error, only
commits a greater mistake."
Page 20, line 25. He did so, but the glove lay still.] In running at the
glove, it was placed upon the ground, and the art was for a horseman, at
sp^ed, to take it up on the point of his lance. Running at the ring was
difierdni^ for there the object to be carried away was suspended. Expla*
nations may bft^found in Strutt's " Sports and Pastimes."
Page 21, line 2^;^ J^my, wbo was, as you bane heard, a tall low man.]
Tliis reads like a conttacfietipn in terms ; but " tall," in the time of our author,
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NOTES. 61
did not usually mean lofty of stature, but courageous and bold. Shake-
speare so uses it with reference to Sir Andrew A^uecheek in ** Twelfth
Night," act i., sc. 3 (Collier's edit. iii. 330), " He's as tall a man as any's
in Illyria." Instances of the same kind in other authors of the time are
innumerable.
Page 22, line 14. The Earle of Morton's castle at da Ketk.] No doubt
misprinted for Dalkeith,
Page 25, line 8. Jemy rose, made him ready.] To make ready meant of
old merely to dress, and to be ready was to be dressed. It was the com-
monest form of expression.
Page 25, line 25. He thsii gard all men till jeare.] i.e. He that made all
men to jest. Mr. HoUoway, in his Gen. Diet, of Provincialisms, derives the
verb to gar, i. e. to compel or make, from the Danish gior. Spenser em-
ploys it in his '' Shepherd's Calendar" for April : —
''Tell me, good Hobbinol, what gars thee greet ;"
and it is still in use in the north of England as well as in Scotland.
Page 25, line 34. Through the sense of sinne.] Perhaps we ought to read,
'* through the seas of sin.*' It seems an error of the press in the original.
Page 27, line 27. When 'a peard most holy.] i. e. When he appeared most
holy. Shakespeare repeatedly makes his characters in familiar dialogue use
*^ 'a'* for he. Few of his contemporaries adopt this practice so frequently.
Page 28, line 17- But thus with supposes he plays alone.] Shakespeare
uses the word *' supposes" for suppositions in " The Taming of the Shrew,"
and in '' Titus Andronicus." Gascoyne had done so before him throughout
his translation of the Suppositi of Ariosto.
Page 28, line 25. Such a hurly-burly in the rooroe, that passes.] i. e. that
passes, or surpasses, belief. The expression was common.
Page 28, line 3. Found all this levell coyle.] Perhaps we ought to read,
''found all this lewd or wicked coil or confusion."
Page 29, line 29. In the country, quoth hee, where God is a good man.]
This expression is put into Dogberry's mouth in '* Much Ado About
Nothing," act iii., sc. 5; and it is also found in the interlude of " Lusty
Juventus," in the *' Merry Jest of Robin Hood," and in Burton's "Anatomy
of Melancholy."
Page 30, line 7. And got the foole's head under his arme and bob'd his
nose.] The plough-jogger was an early adept in boxing, and got T^eonard's
head, as we now express it, " in Chancery." The expression is the more
applicable since the appointment of Ftce-cbauncellor.«, so called, perhaps,
from the tenacity with which they hold suitors who are unlucky enough to
get into any of their courts.
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Page 30, line 35. Who, ioothing up his humoww.] The original, by a
misprint, has ''who iometking up his humours."
Page 31, line 19. Then to vere at his losses sodainely.] There is probably
an error in the press in this passage : perhaps we might read '' than to
vexe at his losses suddenly."
Page 32, line 13. Aloud he cries Dmee ! Dmee! Dmee!] Most likely an
abbreviation of '' Dear me" I ^ ^ ^ ./ ■
Page 36, line 21. His song of Dirriet Farie.] Part of this song is given
afterwards. See p. 38.
Page 36, line 23. Like the poter of the ale-fat.] i. e. like the poker of the
ale-vat, in consequence of the ** barm" or yeast upon his face to take out
the fire.
Page 37, line 24. In the towne of Esam.] i. e. Evesham.
Page 37, line 36, They went to Partiar.] i. e. Pershore.
Page 38, line 6. They of the towne, loth to lose bis company desirued
to haue it so.] Sic in the old copy, but probably we ought to read desired
for " desirued."
Page 38, line 13. My hart aked, &c.] This shews that Armin, the author,
was one of the players on this occasion, and perhaps the performer of the
clown's parts in the company.
Page 38, line 24. To weepeiii kindnesse, and laugh in extremes.] "Ex-
tremes" is here used in the sense in which Shakespeare not unfrequently
employs it. See '' Winters Tale," act iv., sc. 3 ; " Troilus and Cressida,"
act iv., sc. 2 ; " Romeo and Juliet," act iv., sc. 1,, &c.
Page 38, line 34. Mistris Annis, M. Thomas, under a tree mending of
shoone.] The joke seems to be that the fool, at the commencement of each
line, inserted some of the names of the parties before whom he was singing :
the song by itself ran thus : —
"As 1 went to Derries Faire
There was I ware of a jolly hegger.
Under a tree mending of shoone,
Night-braue beggars euery one J*
According to the license in the rhyming of old ballads, " begger," or " beg-
gare," as it would be spelt, would be suCBcient rhyme for " Faire." We
have no other trace of this song ; but as Armin does not insert it, and adds,
" And so forward," we may presume that it was well known. ;
Page 39, line 5. Buy any flawre.] Sic in orig., but perhaps a misprint
for some word beginning with the letters p, in the pronunciation of which
Jack Miller was " plagued." Possibly we ought to read prawnes*
Page 39, line 10. And euer as he hit the on word.] It may be doubted
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NOTES. 63
whether we ought to read '' the one word/' or to suppose ** on the " trans-
posed in the printing.
Page 40, line 3. There was bo little hoot to bid ront] Some inisprint has
obscured the sense here. Ought we to read '' There was no little boot to
beridon't?"
Page 40, line 31. That Bankes, his horse, with all his strength cannot
draw them out.] One of the innumerable allusions to a person of the name
of Bankes, who had trained a small horse to perform many wonderful feats.
There is hardly a comic writer between 1590 and 1620 who does not intro-
duce some notice of Bankes and his horse Marocco. A supposed dialogue
between them, called Maroccus Extaticus, was printed in 1595, from which
we learn the important fact that the horse was bay. After exhibiting him
throughout this kingdom, Bankes took his horse abroad, where it seems to
have been suspected that the animal was a fiend in disguise, and Bankes a
conjuror. We learn the fate of both in the mock-romance of " Don Zara
del Fogo," not printed until 1656, but written much earlier. " Finally,"
(says the unknown author), having of a long time proved himselfe the orna-
ment of the British clime, travailing to Rome with his master, they were
both burned by commandment of the pope." Marginal note to page 114.
Bankes's horse is immortalised by Shakespeare in " Love's Labour's Lost,"
act i., sc. 2.
Page 41, line 9. Forsooth Wil. Sommers.] This well-known Jester of
Henry VIII. is made, as it were, the hero of T. Nash's " Summers Last
Will and Testament," a comic shew, written about 1593, and printed in
1600. An accurate reprint of it is given in " Dodsley's Old Plays," last
edit., vol. ix. "A pleasant History of the Life and Death of Will Sum-
mers" was printed early, but no edition of it now seems to be known, but
one in 1676, which was reprinted in 1794, with a portrait of Summers
looking through a casement. We copy the following jest relating to
him from Samuel Rowland's tract, called " Grood and Bad Newes,"
1622, 4to.
'* Will Sommers once unto King Harry came.
And in a serious shew himselfe did frame
To goe to London, taking of his leaue.
Stay, William (quoth the king) I doe perceiue
You are in haste ; but tell me your occasion :
Let me prevail thus by a friends perswasion. —
Quoth he, if thuu wilt know, lie tell thee marry :
I goe to London for Court-newes, old Harry. —
Goest thither from the Court to hear Court-newes ?
This is a tricke, Sommers, that makes me muse.
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Oh> yes (quoth William) citizens can show
Whats done in Court ere thou aud I doe know,
.If an Embassador be comming over.
Before he doe arrive and land at Dover
They know his master's message and intent.
Ere thou canst tell the cause why he is sent.
If of a Parliament they doe but beare.
They know what lawes shall be enacted there.
And, therefore, for a while, adue Whitehall.
Harry, He bring thee newes home, lyes and all."
We quote the above from the original very rare volume in the library of
the Rt. Hon. Lord Francis Egerton, M.P. ; but a very excellent reprint of
it has been recently made by Edward V. Uttersou, Esq., consisting, how-
ever, of only sixteen copies. Thus, each of these is scarcely less a prize
than the original. We may add that Will Sommers figures conspicuously
in S. Rowley's " When you see roe you know me," a historical play, on the
events of the reign of Henry VIH., printed in 1605.
Page 41, line 20. Leane he was, hollow-eyde, as all report.] This descrip-
tion of Will Sommers's person accords very well with the rare print of him
by Delaram, de«cr1bed by Granger in bis " Biographical History of England"
(i. p. 116, ed. 1779), and also with the portrait of him in the frontispiece to
. the first volume of Sir Henry Ellis's " Original Letters illustrative of English
History," which is taken from Henry the Eight's Psalter, preserved among
the Royal MSS. in the British Museum. It does not, however, by any means
correspond with the admirable picture by Holbein of a merry knave look-
ing through a leaded casement, described in the Guide to the Pictures at
Hampton Court, as one of Henry the Eight's jesters, but traditionally said
to be a portrait of Will Sommers. A fine copy of this portrait, we under-
stand, is preserved at Audley End, the seat of the Right Honourable Lord
Braybrooke.— W. J. T.
Page 42, line 8. Will Sommers, in no little credit at the King's Court]
Our author speaks this with truth, since, notwithstanding Henry's well-
known fondness for these motley followers. Will is almost the only one of
them whose memory has survived. Patch and Sexton are named in Henry's
Household Book ; and Mr. Douce, who supposes Patch to be only another
name for Fool, states that he was given to Henry by Wolsey. Will Sommers,
in all probability, owes his reputation rather to the uniform kindness
with which he used his influence over bhiflf Harry, than to hb wit or folly ;
and one of the lates^t instances of this conduct is so honourable to the poor
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NOTES. 65
jester^ that it is only justice to his memory to repeat it as told by
Granger >—
Will Sommers was sometimes a servant in the family of Richard Farmer,
Esq., of Eston Weston, in Northamptonshire, ancestor to the Earl of Pom-
fret. This gentleman was found guilty of a profmunire in the reign of
Henry VIII., for sending eigbtpeuce and a couple of shirts to a priest oon-
▼icted of denying the king's supremacy, who was then a prisoner in the
goal at Buckingham. The rapacious monarch seized whatever he was
possessed of, and reduced him to a state of miserable dependence. Will
Sommers, touched with compassion for his unhappy master, is said to have
dropped some expressions, in the king's last illness^ which reached the con*
science of the merciless prince, ftnd to have caused the remains of his estate,
which had been dismembered, to be restored to him.— W. J. T.
Page 43, line 34. By my vusse.] So in the original, but the meaning of
the asseveration it is not easy to comprehend : possibly " By my ©oir».*'
Page 45, line 1. And are for mirth inserted into stage-playes.] Referring
to such dramatic pieces as *' When you see me you know me," by Rowley,
before-mentioned. i
Page 45, line 3. There are some will affirme it now living at Greenwich.} tK X
We have no account of the precise period of the death ofW iU Sommers, ( mil ^
but it might not have happened more than fifty or sixty years before Armin
wrote ; and people who recollected Sommers said his pranks might still be
living in Greenwich and elsewhere.
Page 46, line 9. That remarkable work of his tombe.] P. Martyr, in his
Comment in lib, Samuelii (2nd Samuel, cap. 18) relates a remarkable an*
ecdpte, which may here be very properly introduced. It appears that the
Cardinal was in the habit of frequently visiting his tomb at Windsor to
watch the progress of the work. On one of these occasions be was accom*
panied by bis fool, or jester, who, seeing him enter the monument, said,
Tou do well to go into your tomb during your lifetime, fot you #iU never
enter it when dead.
This was probably the same fool who, congratulating the Cardinal upon
receiving that dignity, expressed a wish that be might soon see him Pc^e.
Why so ? inquired the Cardinal. Marry replied he, St. Peter, who was a
fisherman, instituted fasts that fish might fetch a better price, and, since
your eminence was bred a buto/her, yon would, no doubt> order us to eat
meat, instead of fish, for the sake of your trade.
The readers of ''Cavendish's Life of Woolsey" will remember the
Cardinal's requesting Norris to present the King with this poor fool> and
the almost pathetic manner in which he describes the fool's unwiUingness
to be separated from his old master.— W. J. T.
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Page 47«line 9. Had bee Dot poysoned himselfe.] The notioo, founded
upoD a passage in Cavendish's '' Life of Wolsey/' that the Cardinal poi-
soned hinself, has been controverted with success, by Pegge. See Gen-
tlemen's Magazine, vol. xxv., p. 25.
Page 48, line 16. O wed to make them great, make ourselves.} There
is probably an error of the press in this passage, which renders the sense
obscure. Tne whole paragraph is not very intelligible.
Page 49, line 22. Lesse such as let him not alone.] i. e., " UnUu
such," &c.
Page 49^ Une 23. As a liude> so a dyde.] t. e. As he liv'd so he died.
See p. 27, and the note : this is another instance of the same kind.
Page 49, Une 27- But neither John a nods, nor John a dreames.] ** Jota
a-dreams'* is mentioned in Hamlet.
** A dull and muddy-mettled rascal, peak.
Like John a-dreams, unpregnant of my cause."
The commentators introduce notes about Jack-a-Lent, Jack-a-Lanthem,
and John-a-Droynes ; but they were unacquainted with this passage in
Armin's tract about ** John a nods and John a dreames," both names, per*
haps, meant for the same person.
Page 49, line 29. Like your tobacco to tost strong.] The original by an
obvious misprint has '' to fast strong."
Page 50, line L Snapping his fingers barber-like.] The snapping, or, as
it is sometimes spelt, knacking, of their fingers by barbers is noticed by
many old writers. '* Amongst the rest let not the barber be forgotten ;
and look that he be an excellent fellow, and one that can tnap his fingers
with dexterity." '* Greenes Tu Quoque" in Dodsley's Old Plays, last
edit, vol. vii., p. 31. See also Ben Jonson*s ''Epicoene," act i., sc. 2.
Lily, in his " Midas," 1592, introduces a barber, who says to his appren*
tice, ''Thou knowest, boy, I haue taught thee the knacking of the
hands."
Page 50, line 21. To meet with B. Nowell.] Dean Nowell of course all
are acquainted with, but it is questionable why Armin places a capital B. be-
fore his name, as he never was a bishop, and his Christian name was Alex-
ander. Afterwards Armin calls him " B. Deane."
Page 60, line 23. He gaue them a groat.] We ought to read him for
"them."
Page 54, line 18. As his picture in Christ's Hospital (now to be seene)
can witnesse.] This picture of a dome^itic fool was in existence some years
ago, but nobody was able to state whom it represented. Armin's tract will
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NOTES. 67
enable those who, we presume, now have charge of the portrait to decide
the question.
Page 55, line 8. There are, as Hamlet saies, things cald whips in store.]
No such passage is to be found in Shakespeare's Hamlet, as it has come
down to us, either in the editions of 1603, 1604, or in any later impression.
Possibly Armin may refer to the old Hamlet which preceded Shakespeare's
tragedy ; but this seems unlikely, as he was an actor in the same theatre
as that for which Shakespeare wrote.
Page 55, line 14 Least some say ne sutra,] Of course a misprint for
ne tutor. Armin did not add the rest of the proverb, because it was so
well known.
Page 55, line 22. Which, well got, deserues a partague^ Probably a
Portuguese gold coin.
Page 55, line 33.] And giue Venies till all smarte againe.] Fenie, or, as
it is sometimes spelt, Venu or Fenny, was a very common fencing term,
meanmg the onset, from the French Fenir. See '* Loves Labours Lost,"
vol ii., p. 347« Collier's Shakespeare, where the word, as in most instances
of its use, is figurauvely employed.
Page 56, line 3. Like a girle at barley brake, leaning the last couple iu
hell.] Barrley-break seems to have been a game much resem